Alex Shvartsman > Quotes

“Ah, yes, well that’s the problem with the English language, isn’t it? All the words mean different things.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Unidentified Funny Objects 2

“If you want to get anything done, you don’t go to the government.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Unidentified Funny Objects

“A wise man from my realm once proclaimed that one should never deny it when asked if one is a god.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Kakistocracy

“Equally garish couches, love seats, and ottomans throughout the hall suggested the floor could serve uses other than just dancing. I would’ve hated to shine a black light on any of those surfaces.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Kakistocracy

“In the guards’ defense it should be said that no screening test ever devised could reliably distinguish between a terrorist and a mathematician—and”
― Alex Shvartsman, Unidentified Funny Objects

“Were it not for their auras, I wouldn’t have been able to tell which ones were demons and which were human lawyers and corporate accountants. In any case, the difference was minor enough to be moot.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Kakistocracy

“Y'know, this is really crappy. All that exercise, all that healthy living, all those goddamn pills and herbs, look at me, I'm so goddamn healthy, vitamins take me.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Funny Fantasy

“Instead of finishing the sentence she slid a business card across the counter. It listed her contact information for every social media site I'd heard of, and several that were still in beta. Except for Google Plus. Even Internet-addicted fairies have standards.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories

“I make a terrible first impression, and the second impression tends to be worse,” said Moira. “But in time, I grow on you. Like a fungus.”
― Alex Shvartsman, Kakistocracy