Andrew G. Marshall > Quotes

“When a relationship hits a crisis, the natural response is to try to fix it as quickly as possible. But in the panic, it is very easy to get confused about the true nature of the problems and head off in the wrong direction. So the first step is to truly understand.”
― Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

“if you’re going to rebuild your marriage, it has to be based on better communication, openness and honesty, and keeping secrets will doom the project before it has even started.”
― Andrew G. Marshall, Why Did I Cheat?: Help your partner (and yourself) recover from your affair

“22 How would you describe your sexual relationship? 23 What would you like to happen right now? 24 How would you like your life to be in the future? Make the answer as detailed as possible. Where would you be living? What would you be doing? What would the house look like? Who else is there? 25 How might you be able to make this happen? Interpreting your answers: 1 This question is checking whether there is a general background of unhappiness.”
― Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

“Fifteen to twenty-five years: These couples are busy adapting to the changes thrown at them rather than dealing with internal changes within the relationship. These can be everything from children leaving home to aging parents. By now, each partner has given up the fantasy of what the other person might be and tends to think, “He has always been like this and probably always will” or “What’s the point of talking about her bad habits; actually, they’re quite endearing.” Perversely, when someone stops trying to change us and accepts us as we are, this is when we are most likely to bend. Couples at this stage feel contented; friendship and companionship are important. With increased self-confidence and less concern about what other people think, this is often a period of sexual reawakening. The frequency might not be as high as the first stage, but the quality is much better.”
― Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship