Abigail Barnette > Quotes

“Yes, one of the benefits of being embarrassingly rich is that you find out if you have syphilis much earlier than the average peasant would.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Boss

“It was like he'd sprung fully-formed from my eighteen-year-old fantasies, the hot History teacher who just couldn't help himself.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Boss

“But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Boss

“Call me old fashioned, but I kind of enjoy the so-called 'walk of shame.' It's really more a 'walk of pride because I got some.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Boss

“Every time I thought the bag must be empty, he brought yet another item out. It was like he'd hijacked Mary Poppins's luggage on her way to a fetish weekend.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“Money does not guarantee immortality.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“I don't know you, and I'll never see you again, so why not carpe the...dick?”
― Abigail Barnette, The Stranger

“Submission was such a nice mini-vacation, in that respect, a pleasure cruise through sex with heightened senses and emotions, and no thought to the outside world until.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“I love you so much that I regret having memories that don’t include you.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Bride

“We’d spent eleven hours together. That had to be some kind of record for a second date that didn’t involve a sleepover or a kidnapping.”
― Abigail Barnette, First Time: Ian

“Nobody can control their emotional reactions, we can only control our actions, and my current action was to slap my jealousy in the face and shove her in a vat of shut the fuck up.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Baby

“I could only imagine the prenup I'd have to sign: In the event of a divorce, Mrs. Scaife- Elwood will receive eleventy- bajillion dollars and Mr. Elwood will continue to blame himself for the dissolution of the marriage and the ruining of Mrs. Scaife- Elwood's life, in perpetuity, even though it's probably not his fault.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“Well, at least you'll get some down time to heal up before the chemo. Of course, that sounds kind of like in The Princess Bride when they heal Westley up before they torture him.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“People are darkened rooms, and each person they choose to include in their lives is a beam of light, uncovering some new, previously hidden part of them.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Bride

“Never be timid about your own pleasure. Don't be ashamed to come.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Stranger

“The cancer bubble. It's almost like he's not here. Like he's on pause, and my life with him is on pause, and we're just waiting to see if somebody is going to hit play again or just stop the thing entirely.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“I know I'm not supposed to argue with you when you talk about dying. And yes, you could die, Neil. But I could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow. Either we need to live every single day together like it's our last, or we need to be comfortable with the fact that some times are just sucky times.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“If something happens and you should cry about it, it’s better to laugh and get the fuck over it.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Baby

“And I dare say most people don't think too deeply on sex, beyond what they've been taught through the media and society.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Stranger

“You don't know what you're going to do in a situation until faced with it. Life lesion learned. I was going to have to banish 'never' from my repertoire.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Girlfriend

“er unnusta mín—um, kærastan,”
― Abigail Barnette, The Bride

“They’d sounded as American as apple pie and unsecured firearms.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Ogre's Fairytale Bride

“in terms of sin, you’re in the majors, and she hasn’t even filled out her Little League paperwork yet.” “I’ll”
― Abigail Barnette, First Time: Ian

“Parenting fucked you up.”
― Abigail Barnette

“You don't want to get in that line...it's fucking long”
― Abigail Barnette

“I didn’t have a lot of fighting experience, but I would punch an octopus if I had to, to save a life.”
― Abigail Barnette, First Time: Ian

“You have to look at your life through heaven’s eyes.” The profundity of her statement shocked me. “That’s—” “From The Prince Of Egypt,” she said quickly.”
― Abigail Barnette, Baby Makes Three: Ian

“Well, if this place is going down, I’ll just go home. I have hours of Real Housewives DVRed that I have to catch up on.” Holli sounded almost bored at the idea of the top fashion magazine in the country going into a tailspin. Probably because no matter what happened, she would be fine. Holli didn’t have an ego about her job, and would just as happily do cleaning product commercials as high-fashion shoots. I often used her somewhat lackadaisical approach to her career to get some perspective on my own.”
― Abigail Barnette, The Boss

“Sometimes, we want to love a person more than they deserve to be loved by us. And we’ll do a lot of rationalizing to fool ourselves into believing that they deserve it.”
― Abigail Barnette, First Time: Penny

“Et puis, toutes les femmes ne cultivent-elles pas un petit côté dépravé en elles ?”
― Abigail Barnette, The Stranger