Neil Abramson > Quotes

“Pain explains a great deal of human conduct, but the fear of pain even more.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Sometimes events that lead us bereft of anything but grief just happen for no reason other than happenstance--a car turns left instead of right, a train is missed, a call comes too late--and the real test of our humanness is whether, in light of that knowledge, we are ever able to recover. When we again find our way despite the inability to manufacture a deeper meaning in our suffering, that I think is when God smiles upon us, proud of the strength of his creation.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Actually, I liked the fact that happenstance had brought him to the right place; it was comforting to know that that life would support us if only we were listening.”
― Neil Abramson

“God lives in the peaks and valleys, the jarring transitions, not in the mundane, the safe, the smooth, or the repetitive. But that means there must be at least a certain amount of dissonance. Without dissonance, there is no need of belief, and without belief there surely is no God.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“There's a difference between unspoken and unsaid," Jaycee says. "Just because chimpanzees cannot speak doesn't mean they have nothing to say; the ability to vocalize thoughts is not the same as the ability to acquire and use language...Language is really just a systematic means of communication through symbols or sounds. Almost all animals use language. The problem is that when it comes to the issue of language, humans are incredibly narcissistic. Since we literally hold the key to their cages, our language is the only one that counts.”
― Neil Abramson

“I've seen too much sacrifice to believe that God is behind all of it, and I've seen sacrifice that has no indicia of the hand of God at all. Loss is not always part of some greater plan explainable by reference to the actions of a divine being with a divine purpose.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Motives get lost in the passage of time, subject to the ravages of memory and revisionism. What stays—and therefore what matters—is what you do.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“I was raised to believe that God speaks in the language of sacrifice," he told me, "You are expected to sacrifice because it is the measure of the depth of your belief...”
― Neil Abramson

“Because I want my voice to be the last thing she hears, not the sound of oncoming traffic. I want her to feel gentle hands as she goes, not the force of a car crushing her sternum. I’m sorry, but she deserves that. We all do.” David”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Pessimism, cynicism and fear will only lead to a very small life. Don’t live small.”
― Neil Abramson

“Shadows thrown by a single candle flame often can be more frightening than total darkness.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Because…” Gabriel closed his eyes to his truth. Because the premise that a child must be threatened with harm to earn God’s blessing is no longer acceptable to me; because that smug face cannot be the face of my God; because a rejecting and shaming God is a God of men created by men to serve the agendas of men; because I couldn’t find any stained glass window maker who is able to capture the face of the God I want to see—the God of hope, of compassion, of acceptance.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“Why only at our great peril do we numbly walk past an outstretched hand: anyone we meet might be one of these beings upon whom and unimaginable burden rests. A burden you can ease by creating a sanctuary simply by accepting that outstretched hand in kindness and with an open heart...simply by being present.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life: A Novel

“Frightened people do frightening things.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“...the shadows thrown by a single candle flame often can be more frightening that total darkness.”
― Neil Abramson

“Last week you asked me about grief, about how long it takes to recover. I should’ve told you then, but I just couldn’t. You’re asking the wrong question. It’s not the recovery you should be worrying about. It’s the decisions that are born out of your grief that will haunt you. Some decisions, once you make them, you can’t make any better-....You just live their consequences again and again. That’s why grief is so damn powerful – it has one fierce ally and that ally is regret.”
― Neil Abramson

“Without memory there's no history. Without history there's no context. Without context there is no meaning.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“You bought my cooperation, Walden, not the right to talk shit about me. So keep it to yourself.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“Of all the many aspects of being a priest, Gabriel had always loved this part the most - trying to establish a connection between God and the everyday lives of his faithful. He felt that if he could do that - keep it relevant, bring God beyond the doors of his church - then perhaps he would have left something positive behind.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“One cup of coffee together won't deprive you of your right to hate me.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“Your dog seemed to be OK with me."

"My dog drinks from the toilet. We have different standards.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“This may sound ironic, but I don't believe in miracles. Or, even if they do exist, that I'm worthy of one. I've prayed every day since I found out that God would take me into His house before another sunrise. But I guess sometimes God's greatest gift is an unanswered prayer. If He had taken me, these creatures would not have found sanctuary, even if it is perhaps just for a day. Eliot would have been dead on some cold metal table, and you, my friend... would have been denied the opportunity to pull my head out of my ass.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“Locked doors are usually locked for a reason."

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Andy asked.

Beth shook her head. "Those very same words have started every great journey toward a painful and humiliating end.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“You want to see God? Look closely and without blinking into the faces of the forgotten, the frightened, and the unforgiven. Bear witness. Get down on your knees with them, spend time in their presence, hear their stories however they are told. Otherwise it is far too easy to believe they deserve their hell.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“It's one thing to remember the face or voice of a dead loved one, but another to know you're standing on their actual body. Your mind can't pretend that they weren't real or deny that they're really gone forever. You're only separated by six feet of dirt, but you could dig to infinity and never get back what you lost. So we avoid. The dead always seem to make ghosts of the living.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“In the movies she had loved growing up, death always came in one of two ways - with an atonal breath and then a panicked, desperate grab for the last vestiges of life, or with a deep, peaceful exhalation followed by a contented sigh. Either way, the act of dying was a remarkable moment that commanded the attention of all those in proximity. But Sam had learned the truth about death in vet school: it wasn't special at all. It wasn't even an event. Death was only the failure of life. It crept into the vacuum created when you couldn't beg, cajole, or push life out any further. This was why death always eventually won; the act of fostering life requires constant diligence and we tire or get distracted far too easily.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“The truth is, when you cut through all the bullshit, we are all only the product of what someone else did to us or didn't do to us.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life

“Dogs love laughter; I think to their ears it is the sound of safety and acceptance.”
― Neil Abramson, Unsaid

“Bible stories are like Grimms' diary tales when it comes to kids. Bad stuff always happens to them.”
― Neil Abramson, Just Life