Daniel O'Malley > Quotes

“This should be a pleasant little interview. All I have to do is put on my scary face."
"You have a scary face?" Ingrid sounded skeptical.
"Yes," said Myfanwy indignantly. "I have a very scary face."
Ingrid surveyed her for a moment. "You may wish to take off the cardigan then, Rook Thomas," she advised tactfully. "The flowers on the pocket detract somewhat from your menace.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“This duck tells me nothing!”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Yes, Minister, it turns out that there was a mysterious force that caused that plane to crash. We call it gravity.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Now, do you mind telling me why you have all these guns lying around? Are you afraid the paperwork will rise up against you?'
'Oh, no. I'm going to use the guns as paperweights.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“And the minibar in my hotel room was mysteriously emptied."
"By arcane forces beyond the understanding of normal human beings?" asked Myfanwy as she sifted through the in-box. It was the sort of question you learned to ask automatically when you worked with the Checquy.
"No, it was me," admitted Shantay without a shred of embarrassment.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“According to Thomas, the city [of Bath] had once been a veritable hotbed of manifestations, with every sorcerer, bunyip, golem, goblin, pict, pixie, demon, thylacine, gorgon, moron, cult, scum, mummy, rummy, groke, sphinx, minx, muse, flagellant, diva, reaver, weaver, reaper, scabbarder, scabmettler, dwarf, midget, little person, leprechaun, marshwiggle, totem, soothsayer, truthsayer, hatter, hattifattener, imp, panwere, mothman, shaman, flukeman, warlock, morlock, poltergeist, zeitgeist, elemental, banshee, manshee, lycanthrope, lichenthrope, sprite, wight, aufwader, harpy, silkie, kelpie, klepto, specter, mutant, cyborg, balrog, troll, ogre, cat in shoes, dog in a hat, psychic and psychotic seemingly having decided that this was the hot spot to visit.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“She was tall, and dressed in the kind of casual clothes that will let you kill someone easily and won't draw attention from passersby. Khakis are good for this sort of thing.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“You look like Cinderella," said Val in awe.
"Yeah, if she'd been into bondage and had Christian Dior for a godmother.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Checquy statistics indicate that 15 percent of all men in hats are concealing horns.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“... and her voice cut through the noise like a scythe through a poodle.”
― Daniel O'Malley

“I had a quiet freak-out.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“She was trying to find the section that described the penalties for treason. She'd browsed through the section at one point and vaguely recalled a long list of punishments culminating with the guilty party being ritually trampled to death by the population of the village of Avebury, which seemed unlikely, or at least somewhat difficult to arrange.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Plus, anyone who wants to clone himself is usually an asshole. You don’t want any more of those running around than absolutely necessary.” “So”
― Daniel O'Malley, Stiletto

“I'm going back to sleep,' she said, lying back down. 'I shall see if there's anyone interesting asleep in America.'
'That seems rather like a contradiction in terms, ma'am.'
'God, you're such a snob.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“It is curious how the passing of lifetimes will change a man.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“If you want to switch jobs, then you can come over here right now and balance the extermination budget in London while (shuffling through papers) figuring out why the hell a two-door wardrobe in the spare room of a country house is considered to be a matter of national concern!”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Behind me, Ingrid made a sort of muffled snorting sound. I can only assume she was choking on a breath mint. I shot her a look, hoping she hadn't heard anything, and saw she was wearing a poker face, which could only mean she'd heard everything.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Not that a locked door made a difference to me, since we’d all been rigorously trained in “the ladylike arts of breaking and entering,”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“I've always been a pretty good researcher," said Bronwyn modestly.
Oh, so that we share, thought Myfanwy, but you didn't inherit the power to make people shit themselves. You've got to love the randomness of genetics.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Dear You, The body you are wearing used to be mine.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“We were ushered into the special reception room that important people go to so they won't have to ensure Customs. It's luxurious and private, and you don't have to mingle with the public. It's the room that you wait in if you are very, very powerful and once got shitfaced with Joseph of Arimathea. Or if you are Mick Jagger.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Oh, well, thanks an awful lot, Thomas, Myfanwy thought bitterly. It sounds like I'm the Defense Minister of Ghosts and Goblins, but as long as the job is "all fairly self-explanatory," I've no doubt it will be fine. The country might get overrun by brownies and talking trees, but what the hell--there's always Australia!”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“If Judas Iscariot were alive, and a woman, and attending formal functions, wearing this dress would still represent a disproportionate punishment for his sins.” “Her”
― Daniel O'Malley, Stiletto

“I'm not entirely certain who arranged to have the lighting in the Rooks' offices and quarters hooked up to the Panic Lines, but it has taught me to flinch violently when a lightbulb ceases to work.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“Rook Thomas, you look different somehow."
"Well, I recently got the shit kicked out of me," she said.
"Ah, that would be it then.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“With the sort of power these new processes granted them, the members of the brotherhood were in the perfect position to seize power. In any other country, a massive, bloody war would have ensued. Horrors would have stalked the land, unholy amalgamations of flesh would have fought on the fields, and the nights would have new, unspeakable terrors.
Fortunately, this is Belgium we're talking about.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook

“The interior of the animal was much as one would expect: close and dark and damp, with an odd smell. It was rather, Odette thought, like trying to enter a really popular nightclub on New Year’s Eve.”
― Daniel O'Malley, Stiletto

“I don't care what you people say...we are not using a font that does not have fucking serifs." - Rook Myfanwy Thomas”
― Daniel O'Malley, Stiletto

“I want to have the whole English experience. High tea, supervising manifestations, taking the waters, going to Harrods, discussing possible international conspiracies.”
― Daniel O'Malley, The Rook