Richard Raley > Quotes

“at least television actress, maybe big screen if she sucked a lot of producer cock.  Offensive?  Yes.  True?  Also yes.  Would any actress, television or movie, ever fuck me anyway? No. So I don’t give a shit about offending them.”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm

“Another bit of nature is safety in numbers, even if you can’t stand the people who make up your numbers.”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady

“Mom was having a ‘Good Day.’  Doctor got his doctor on and said she’s Bi-Polar, an extreme case of it, which means good as in up or hyper and happy.  ‘Good Days’ always freaked me out way more than bad ones.”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady

“F*ck me sideways with a shovel-wielding pelican.”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady

“Was also some baked beans and half a tomato”
― Richard Raley, The Pit of No Return

“Poug turned to look at me with his most serious expression yet.  “Tell me . . . Robb Stark avenges the death of his father, yes?  The tyrant king Joffery is slain?  The beautiful Sansa is rescued unmolested?” “Oh,” I said, realizing I had Season One of Game of Thrones on the phone.  Oh, I thought as I remembered how fucked up that show was.  How do you break that to someone?  It was Santa Ain’t Real kind of revelation.  You lie, that’s what you do.  Even if you suck at lying.  “Sure . . . humans are known for their happy endings.  We just . . . love them.” “Good!” Poug proclaimed in joy, “As it should be!”
― Richard Raley, The Pit of No Return

“The walls were made of white stone, topped with preening angels”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady

“Square school pizza disproves socialism more than any political argument ever did.”
― Richard Raley, The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady