Sarah Colonna > Quotes

“My family likes to make fun of me, indicating that being able to cook is part of what makes a woman a woman. I disagree. Getting my period makes me a woman. Cooking just makes me bored.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“I’m thirty-six years old, but I don’t feel like it. Some days I feel like I’m twenty-one, some days I feel like I’m pushing sixty.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“I loved someone so much that I broke up with him because I didn't want to get hurt. Then when he proved he loved me back, I broke up with him again. I'm a fucking mess, but so are you. Most of us are.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“The words "how are you?" can pack a mean punch.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“I'm somewhere in the middle. I want both. Or I want it all. Or I only want part of both. I don't know. I just know that you don't always end up happy with what you thought would make you happy. You've probably been there a time or two yourself. You can't always get what you want.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“I guess just like relationships, friends can outgrow each other.”
― Sarah Colonna, Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

“I felt kind of bad that I was eight years old and in love while my thirty-three-year-old mom was struggling to want to go on a second date.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“I’m a fucking mess, but so are you. Most of us are. I don’t just mean women. Men are a mess, too. We’re all in this together.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“If any of you haven't tried going to the movies alone, I suggest you do. It's not like I do it because I'm single; I've gone to the movies alone when I'm in a relationship, too. It's just a nice escape, time to zone out. Plus, nobody talks to you during the film, nobody puts their grubby hands in your popcorn, and nobody judges you for bringing in airplane bottles of vodka to spike your lemonade with.”
― Sarah Colonna, Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

“You see, when you’re single and you have a dog, people think you’re cool and you love to hike. When you’re single and you have a cat, people think you’re a loser and you love to watch the Lifetime network.”
― Sarah Colonna, Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

“when sex is bad, it’s bad. There’s no changing it; you have to pick up your underwear and move on.”
― Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

“Look, I understand that when a man sees two women in a hotel room sharing a king bed he wants to assume it’s because they’re going down on each other every night. But the reality—and I’m sorry to break the fantasy, guys—is that female platonic friends are comfortable sharing a king bed and usually prefer it because most hotel double beds are about as comfortable as a jail cot.”
― Sarah Colonna, Has Anyone Seen My Pants?