James E. Ryan > Quotes

“Asking good questions is hard because it requires you to see past the easy answers and to focus instead on the difficult, the tricky, the mysterious, the awkward, and sometimes the painful.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“The only truly bad questions are not really questions at all. They are statements disguised as questions that are meant to be demeaning or designed to trip you up.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Wait, what?” is at the root of all understanding.         “I wonder . . . ?” is at the heart of all curiosity.         “Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is the beginning of all progress.         “How can I help?” is at the base of all good relationships.         And “What truly matters?” helps get you to the heart of life. If”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Because you were my first friend here. You listened to me.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“When like-minded individuals get together, online or in real life, they tend to reinforce each other’s views. They not only increase the strength of each other’s convictions, but they often lead each other, intentionally or not, to take even more extreme positions.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Couldn’t we at least talk it through, and talk about what it would mean for our family?”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“And there is no greater gift to bestow on children than the gift of curiosity. Effective leaders, even great ones, accept that they don’t have all the answers. But they know how to ask the right questions—questions that force others and themselves to move past old and tired answers, questions that open up possibilities that, before the question, went unseen.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Asking “Wait, what?” is also a good way to avoid jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments. Too often we decide very early whether we agree or disagree with someone or with an idea, without making an effort to truly understand the person or the point. Our”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Effective leaders, even great ones, accept that they don’t have all the answers. But they know how to ask the right questions—questions that force others and themselves to move past old and tired answers, questions that open up possibilities that, before the question, went unseen.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“The trick is to help others without believing yourself to be, or acting like you are, their savior.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“.” It takes time to discover the question, but it is time well spent. Einstein, who was a big believer in the importance of asking questions, famously said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, and his life depended on it, he would spend the first fifty-five minutes determining the proper question to ask.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Too often we fail to pause for clarification, thinking that we understand something before we do. In doing so, we miss the opportunity to grasp the full significance of an idea, an assertion, or an event. Asking “Wait, what?” is a good way to capture, rather than miss, those opportunities.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“The simple truth is that an answer can only be as good as the question asked. If you ask the wrong question, you are going to get the wrong answer.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Not having answers, much less a vision, made me nervous at first, to the point of despair and occasional panic. After a while, however, I grew tired of pretending I knew the answers, so I started to ask questions, even in response to questions. As in: “That’s a good question. What do you think?”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Albert Einstein, in a classic humble brag, once remarked: “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” The first half of that statement was surely false, while the second half was undoubtedly true.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“More than any of his colleagues, Justice Stevens tended to break open the case by asking lawyers the question at the center of their case, one they had to answer successfully in order to prevail.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Wait, what?” is first on my list of essential questions because it is an effective way of asking for clarification, and clarification is the first step toward truly understanding something—whether it is an idea, an opinion, a belief, or a business proposal.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Counselor, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wonder if I could ask you to clarify a point.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“But I think it’s crucial because it reminds you (and others) to slow down to make sure you truly understand. Too often we fail to pause for clarification, thinking that we understand something before we do. In doing so, we miss the opportunity to grasp the full significance of an idea, an assertion, or an event. Asking “Wait, what?” is a good way to capture, rather than miss, those opportunities”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Too often we decide very early whether we agree or disagree with someone or with an idea, without making an effort to truly understand the person or the point. Our public conversations, and especially conversations on social media, often seem like exercises in picking sides and choosing teams. We hear or read something, make a quick call, then dismiss those with whom we disagree as ignorant or evil.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“That’s ridiculous,” or, “That seems like a totally dumb idea,” remind yourself that they might simply be asking, “Wait, what?” They might be asking for a deeper explanation. They may still disagree with you, but after hearing your explanation in full, they will unlikely think your idea is ridiculous or dumb.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“quick word, finally, about being a good listener. It is useful as a listener to be on the lookout for versions of the “Wait, what?” question. Some things you say will inevitably provoke opposition or challenge from friends, family members, or colleagues. It is easy, when on the receiving end of these challenges, to immediately begin an argument, trying to defend your position. But you might try to remember that the person posing the challenge or expressing opposition could simply be in need of further explanation or may just need to better understand the rationale or motivation behind what you are saying.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“How can I help?” If you start with this question, you are asking, with humility, for direction. You are recognizing that others are experts in their own lives, and you are affording them the opportunity to remain in charge, even if you are providing some help.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“suggestion was surprising and slightly hard to believe. An elongated “wait” followed by a short but emphasized “what” is a good way to indicate genuine incredulity. It’s a bit like asking, politely, “Did you really just say that?” or “Are you kidding?” The reverse formulation, featuring a short “wait” followed by an elongated “what” can be used when someone has asked you to do something, and it can effectively convey suspicion and skepticism about the motives behind the request or downright opposition to what is being asked of you.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Wait, what?” is first on my list of essential questions because it is an effective way of asking for clarification, and clarification is the first step toward truly understanding something—whether it is an idea, an opinion, a belief, or a business proposal. (It’s probably not a good idea to ask this question in response to a marriage proposal. Just saying.)”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“We assumed we were justified in condemning Lee. Rakesh, however, taught us not to be so sure, and he demonstrated how prone we are to make arguments and judgments based on false assumptions.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“When faced with difficult conversations or emotionally charged situations, it is always a challenge to pause to ask if you have all of the facts you need to draw fair conclusions. It is easy—too easy—simply to react, often passionately and often based on assumptions rather than facts. Reminding yourself to ask “Wait, what?” is a way to guard against jumping too quickly to conclusions.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is a good way to get unstuck. It is a way to get past disagreement to form some consensus, as in, “Couldn’t we at least agree?” It’s also a way to get started even when you’re not entirely sure where you will finish, as in: “Couldn’t we at least begin?” No matter its specific form, asking questions that begin with “Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is the way to make progress.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“The only truly bad questions are not really questions at all. They are statements disguised as questions that are meant to be demeaning or designed to trip you up. It’s”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: A Thought-Provoking Guide To Asking The Right Questions

“Everyone has a unique story. […]

Learning these stories will inevitably enrich your life. It might even lengthen it. Curiosity, it turns out, is conducive to health and happiness, as scores of social scientists have documented. Curious people, not surprisingly, are likely to learn more and to retain more of what they learn. Curious people are likely to be more attractive to others, as people are attracted to those who seem interested in them. Curiosity also leads to empathy, an emotion that seems in short supply today. Curious people are likely to be healthier, and to experience less anxiety in particular, because they see new situations as an opportunity to learn rather than an opportunity to realize that they don’t know enough. Curious people are also, according to some studies, likely to live longer, presumably because they are more engaged with the world around them.”
― James E. Ryan, Wait, What?: And Life's Other Essential Questions