Richard Roberts > Quotes

“And boy, the transformation. I had to feel bad for him, inheriting a power like this. He had all of the ugly. All of it. He hadn't left any ugly for anybody else.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“Sure, we had no audience but each other, but what kind of supervillains would we be if we didn't keep up the drama?”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“Tell a computer that it's five o'clock or ten fifty seven, and it doesn't care. Tell it that it's ninety-nine thousand AD, and it gets very upset. Tell it that time has stopped, and it has conniptions.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“Not an impossible task, just an outrageous challenge.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“HA HA HA HA HA! I, Penelope…”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“someone pointed a gun at your head, you’d stick it up your nose and dare them to pull the trigger.”
― Richard Roberts, Quite Contrary

“Yes, cower! If you simpletons truly understood what you have just seen, you would be down on your knees worshipping me! HA! HA HA HA HA HA!”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“really didn’t know who her father was. Apparently there had been a lot of candidates, thanks to her mother’s power of Clouding Men’s Minds. If ‘minds’ was the right word.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“Scarecrow thin, but immaculate in black long sleeved shirt and slacks, with his big black hat and that grin just a little too wide to be sane... he did. He looked good.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“but the stories on the edge of civilization are horrible things. They’re as cruel and violent as the nastiest fairy tales, but they don’t have any hope or happily-ever-afters. They have victims, not heroes. The best you get is to escape and go home.”
― Richard Roberts, Quite Contrary

“ride goes before a fall. Actually, the real quote is 'Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.' Mrs. Normandy in the 7th grade had a real pet peeve about misused quotes, and drilled that one into us mercilessly.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“I don’t protect other people better than I protect myself, I’m doing a lousy job. Sacrifice is only something you make yourself do,” I”
― Richard Roberts, Quite Contrary

“the life of a supervillain.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up the Moon

“Great. I’d gotten the smart-ass rat. I guess we get the rat we deserve.”
― Richard Roberts, Quite Contrary

“People make a lot of noise about not knowing anything.”
― Richard Roberts, Wild Children

“opponent was half pillbug, half octopus, and all butt ugly. I closed”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up the Moon

“behind the barricades, hunched a wizened old Chinese man straight out of Hollywood’s Uncomfortable Stereotypes Department.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Work for a Supervillain

“my pocket seethed like a crocodile hootenanny with filthy green lucre,”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Work for a Supervillain

“got a different table on the other side of the restaurant with her back facing us. She couldn't fool me. She was videotaping us with her phone. What she thought we would try in a restaurant, I have no idea. When I began to flip through the small, padded menu, Ray said, “Order anything you like. I'm paying.” “You don't have to,” I said automatically. He looked at me through his fake glasses, and his smile was weird. Too emotional to be Ray, but that kind of was Ray, so much thinking behind a mask of laughter, breaking out in bursts of caring beyond anything I could manage. He reached”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“I”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“Ah ha ha HA HA!” Oh, villainous laugh. I had missed you, so.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up the Moon

“(always wear loose pants if you’re not sure whether you’ll be committing villainy)”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Work for a Supervillain

“four-foot-tall superheroine, the ten-year-old avatar of Death, and a cyborg fox walk into a bar. The bartender said nothing. He did look like he wanted to run to the bathroom. And keep running.”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“piloting my own spaceship. HA HA HA HA HA!”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up the Moon

“well. How could I expect people without crazy inventing super brains to understand?”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up the Moon

“I can swallow an "F" on the science fair project if that happens. I'm proud of my machine and it's more important to me to show what I can do than to get a good grade for it.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“it was twee. I was so eager to try this.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“brass door handle off the nearest door and threw it”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain