Mad Scientist Quotes

“Sorry for the delay," Vogel said. "I was required to make a bomb.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“So you're not crazy, huh? The Institution really IS up to no good. "

"You thought I was crazy?"

" No, no, crazy in a GOOD way! Evil mad scientist kind of thing! "

"Just stop.”
― N.D. Stevenson, Nimona

“My stubborn little witch,” he said softly. “Don’t believe for a clockwork minute that you are unlovable. If I were a mortal, a man not doomed to walk the earth as a haunted specter, I would be the first suitor in line. Please believe that.”
She hiccupped. “You… you’d want to court me?”
Jack laughed. “Court you? I’d follow you around like Finney and stare at you all moony-eyed. I’d spend my days fending off your other would-be suitors, my evenings charming Flossie, and my nights stealing kisses at your window.”
― Colleen Houck, The Lantern's Ember

“HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain

“I’m a mad scientist. We don’t need lip gloss. We have jumper cables.”
― Mira Grant, Final Girls

“Ember,” he said, his voice husky.
She liked the way he said her name, especially at that very moment. “Yes, Jack?” she answered; her own words sounded throaty and thick and full of longing.
“This was a mistake.”
― Colleen Houck, The Lantern's Ember

“Every mad scientist secretly dreams of playing God.”
― Mira Grant, Symbiont

“Who wouldn’t choose to be the best version of themselves possible? People, by nature, are narcissistic.” He straightened his tie and jacket as if to support his argument.”
― J.M. Sullivan, Alice

“It was as if a mad scientist had sold all of his important tools and chemicals at a yard sale, leaving a makeshift laboratory of scrap materials that the neighbors didn't want.”
― Mandy Ashcraft, Small Orange Fruit

“Animal testing doesn’t actually teach us anything. It sure as heck doesn’t teach them anything, either.”
-Shenita Etwaroo”
― Shenita Etwaroo

“How could he have been so foolish to try this experiment without taking better precautions?”
― Jason Medina, The Manhattanville Incident: An Undead Novel

“Edwin’s creations landed hit or miss on the board and one miss a year ago ended with us heaving overboard for a week. Fortifying meal solutions, my ass.”
― Katherine McIntyre, An Airship Named Desire

“I escaped from an interview with that laboratory-loving doctor, Ag O. Nee, just barely by the shadow of my Nosey nose!”
― I.B. Nosey

“We need to be able to control - erm, guide the masses that can't help control themselves.”
― Brad McKinniss, Beast Machine

“All this time as a mad scientist why didn't he have a shrink ray or stun gun in his closet somewhere? He had been wasting his life.”
― Charlie Jane Anders, All the Birds in the Sky

“Now, here he was in the dorm room of an underground lab, letting some wacko scientist inject him with what one of the other volunteers referred to as a pipe dream. Was it or was it something more?”
― Jason Medina, The Manhattanville Incident: An Undead Novel

“Bringing creatures to life all by yourself is mad-science territory. This is how people get eaten by their own creations, or grow prehensile tails.

Do you want to grow a prehensile tail, and end up like Dr. Gorges?”
― Molly Brooks, Sanity & Tallulah

“What makes a scientist a "Mad Scientist"?

A lack of desire to publish, mainly.”
― Arinn Dembo

“The gods love you, Fabius. You delivered a Legion to them. You opened the door with your twisted ingenuity, in ways Erebus could not conceive. And you are still opening that door, every time your scalpel draws a red line across flesh. The universe is made of two parts--a knife and a stone. If you do not wield the one, you must lay upon the other.
And you wield the knife very well indeed.”
― Josh Reynolds, Fabius Bile: The Omnibus

“Why do you follow him? What can he offer you?

Knowledge, child. There is no keener mind in the galaxy than that sour chunk of meat that occupies his skull. He has forgotten more about the inner workings of man and xenos alike than any Apothecary has ever known. I came to him to learn how to craft new and better contagions, so that Grandfather's blessings might be shared more freely. There are secret plagues from Old Night in these containers and virulent infections culled from crumbling bones of long dead aeldari. And with these raw materials and his aid, I have made wonders and horrors undreamt of by even the most glopsome of my brothers. Plagues that would devour even the rubbery flesh of Grandfather's children...

Daemons are not susceptible to mortal plagues.

No, they are not. And yet I have seen the results myself. That is what he offers me, child. In his shadow, I grow pleasingly feculent.

And what does he get out of it?

Were you not listening? Plagues, child. Swift plagues that can ravage entire systems at impossible rates. Oh, his mind is a thing of broken beauty. Even Abaddon cannot conceive of genocide on such a scale - it is not war to our Chief Apothecary, but simply...pest control. Imagine it. A great silence, falling all at once across a system. A sector. Every imperfect thing, snuffed out like a candle flame. And then... Ah, and then, a new beginning.”
― Josh Reynolds, Fabius Bile: The Omnibus

“I’m writing these words on February 28th, barely two months after the event. At least I think I am.

I can’t be sure when, or even if, it actually happened. Or what really took place.

Then again: what is truth, if infinitely many truths can exist at the same time?

But let me start from the beginning.”
― Andrzej Wronka, The Last