Josie Balka > Quotes

“Wounds have no choice but to heal eventually And you will find something else to cry about But it won’t be them”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“If you’ve ever had a dog, you know.
You know what it’s like to be loved
just for being exactly who you are.

You could have nothing,
and you’d still be everything to them.
You could lose it all,
and they wouldn’t bat an eye
in the unconditional way
you can only understand
if you’ve ever had a dog.

You know how to find the good
in a slow walk in the rain,
even while you’re chilled to the bone.

You know that even on the worst day ever,
there’s a little happiness
on the other side of the door,
if only for a moment.

You know how to selflessly surrender
your last and best bite of food
without ever hearing a thank-you.
But you have felt the thank-yous endlessly.

If you’ve ever had a dog,
you’ve been a protector
and been protected.

You’ve been viewed as everything,
even in moments
when you’ve had nothing left to give.

Because in a world where you have a dog,
just putting your feet on the ground in the morning
is enough to be cheered on endlessly.

And if that’s not the kind of unwavering love
you need to feel like you’re enough,
I don’t know what is.

And if you’ve ever had a dog, you know
that the love is unconditional,
but the time you get is not.

And years are fast,
but dog years are faster.

If you’ve ever had a dog,
you will know
one of the greatest loves
and one of the greatest heartbreaks
is having a dog.

But you will carry the feeling of being loved,
just for being who you are,
until the end of time.

You will always know,
in some way or another,
that you are enough.

And it will be because
you had a dog.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“But most times you don’t know you’re driving on ice until you’re in the ditch”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“If I could see you one more time I know just what I’d do Cause all I’ve thought of since you left Is one more day with you There are notes in every margin About everything you’ve missed And with every passing day More gets added to the list I’d probably invite you To do things simple and mundane Like walk to get a coffee Or listen to the rain I’d talk about tomorrow Like I know it’s going to come And for a few brief moments Everything would not feel numb I’d let you speak forever And hear every word you say I won’t take it for granted Since I know you go away I’d ask you all the questions That I wish I’d asked before I’d tell you that without you I am not whole anymore I’d make sure that before you leave again You know the truth About the very depths of the amount That I love you Before we said goodbye I would hold you tight as ever The way you hold somebody Right before they leave forever I’d say I’ll think of you Every part of every day And you’d tell me it won’t be life If I live it that way That you will be a part Of everything I ever am That I need to move on Instead of trying to understand And as our time ran out again I’d try to act real tough But no amount of time with you Could ever be enough But I won’t see you just once more But again and again and again Because the day that I do not Will mean I’ve found my end And even when that day does come I’ll see you that day, too Cause the first person I’m looking for Once I get there Is you”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“I Hope You Don’t Miss Me in Heaven

I hope you don’t miss me in heaven
as badly as I miss you here.

I hope, for you, the silence is peaceful,
and the thought of me feels like déjà vu—
a wave of familiarity
that you can’t quite put your finger on.

Empty for only a moment,
once in a while,
and gone like the wind after that.

I hope when you got there,
you were swept over
by a wave of forgetfulness,
so you’re still entirely full
of life and happiness,
but you can’t remember why.

And pieces of me are a part of you
in such a way
that you feel even more complete.

I can’t imagine heaven feels
how I feel without you,
and I hope it doesn’t.

I hope you yearn for nothing
and no one.

I hope there is no pain at all.
Maybe I am feeling both of ours at once,
and that’s why it feels this heavy.

If that’s the case,
it means you are with me,
and I’m okay with that.

I hope that in heaven, grief does not exist,
and I show up in your dreams on occasion,
and the feeling of having me near you
lingers with you through the morning
after you wake up.

I hope those are the same nights
you show up in mine.

And if, in heaven,
you can’t remember me at all,
I hope the wave of forgetfulness
that overtook you when you arrived
turns into an ocean of remembering
when we meet again.

Like we never spent a moment apart,
and I will forget
what it was like to be without you.

And you will never have known
what it was like to be without me.

Because you found the peace
I’d hoped you’d find,
while I found my way back to you.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“If you can’t change it today,
don’t waste the day away
wishing it were different.

Because right now,
it is what it is.
It can’t be different;
it won’t — not today.

And if you want it to change,
that’s okay.
You’re allowed to alter your life
whenever you want,
in whichever way you choose.

But change takes time.

So to sit and wallow
in hating the way something is,
and wishing instead
that it was not —
well, that is a waste of your time,
and a cruel punishment
to your mind and your heart.

You cannot go back in time
and alter your route
to change the way today is.

But you can decide about tomorrow.

And this isn’t tomorrow;
it’s now.

And you can’t get it back.

So don’t spend it recklessly,
like you’re tossing
a hundred-dollar bill
into a wishing well
that would’ve accepted a penny,
and your wish would be
equally as likely to come true
either way.

Change is slow and steady.

And you can start today —
but don’t miss today.

Things can be different,
and they will be.

So instead of the constant argument
between you and yourself
about all you haven’t done,

have a conversation over coffee
about all you’re capable of,

all you can do,

all that is to come.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“Choosing adult friends is saying I love who you are And I’m grateful for all the friends And experiences and lessons that life handed you before Because they shaped you in a way That fits so beautifully with the way mine shaped me”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“I will say nice things about you — not only to your face, but behind your back - forever.

When your name comes up, I will barely be able to let that person finish their thoughts before telling them mine, because I’m so proud to know you.

I will bring you up in rooms that are filled with opportunities, and for no reason at all.

Talking to strangers about the small details about you like it’s my full-time job.

There are random people all over the place — people I saw once and never again — that know the little tidbits about the wonder of you．

They know why I chose that gift for you at the store, or your favourite drink that I always order in tandem with mine.

And they probably know, from just that small encounter, how grateful I am to be in your orbit.

I’ll correct anyone who speaks poorly about you, and you can always count on me to be in your corner, even on the days it feels isolated and far away.

That’s the thing about the people who always have your back in a way that’s so effortless: you don’t even need to see them all the time to know they’ve been behind you all along.

And if there’s ever a table that doesn’t have room for both of us, I will join the waitlist with you and grab a coffee next door until two spots open up.

As long as I’m alive, there’ll be someone saying nice things about you to whoever will listen — any chance I get.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“Anxiety and I do everything together.

That sounds better
than saying
I do everything with anxiety.

But I do everything.

We wake up
and go to sleep together.

We think everyone hates us together.

I hate us together.

But we’re roommates;
we live together.

Although some days,
it doesn’t feel much like living.
It feels more like unease and discomfort,

and struggling through conversations,
and wondering if I said too much
or too little,

or the wrong thing altogether.

It doesn’t feel like living;
it feels like floating, but heavily,

and hunger with no appetite,

and butterflies—
but bad ones.

It feels like I’m dying,
and anxiety agrees.

So we panic
and ruminate together.

We Google it all day long.

We sleep too much,
and then sleep too little,

and both make it worse,
not better.

And we call it living.

We have the kind of relationship
I would urge anyone I love
to work on—

not leave,
but work on.

Because too much time with anything
is bound to make you sick of it eventually.

And I’m sick of it,
and sick with it,
but stuck with it all the same,

like a bad memory
or a bad habit.

And when I don’t feel it,
I feel unbalanced.

I wonder where it went
until it comes back,

and then I feel like me again, somehow.

I think anxiety and I
may always do everything together—

or most things anyway.

So I will keep doing things anyway.

Because even if we’re doing it together,
we’ve got to live.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“I feel like I didn’t get quite enough time with the quiet.”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“*I’m going to miss you forever —*
*do you know that?*

I will spend the rest of my life
missing you
in big ways
and small ways
and medium ways—
in all ways.

I’m going to miss you.

There aren’t many things
that last forever,
but missing people —
it never, ever ends.

Even people
you shouldn’t miss,
or don’t want to miss,
or who don’t deserve
to be missed.

That feeling will creep in
like a robber on his tiptoes.
He’s in there
and there’s nothing you can do.

And it’s beautiful,
because I know
I’ll never forget
to keep missing you,
even when the spaces
between remembering
and forgetting
get longer.

But it’s awful, too,
because you only have to miss someone
when they’re gone.

Sometimes I’ll miss you
and I’ll know
that’s what I’m doing.

And sometimes
it’ll just be an emptiness,
or an ache
that creeps in.

And I’ll take a moment
to ponder what hurts
and where it’s coming from,
and my body will clue into
the difference between
the pain of a cut on my hand
and the grief
of you being gone.

And then I’ll remember.

And I’ll miss you then, too.

For all my days.
Not every day—
but in little pieces
until the end of time.

I am going to miss you forever,
and I find so much peace
and so much pain
in that
all at once.”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“If I could see you one more time,
I know just what I’d do.
Because all I’ve thought of since you left
Is one more day with you.

There are notes in every margin
About everything you’ve missed,
And with every passing day,
More gets added to the list.

I’d probably invite you
To do things simple and mundane,
Like walk to get a coffee
Or listen to the rain.

I’d talk about tomorrow
Like I know it’s going to come,
And for a few brief moments,
Everything would not feel numb.

I’d let you speak forever
And hear every word you say.
I won’t take it for granted,
Since I know you’ll go away.

I’d ask you all the questions
That I wish I’d asked before.
I’d tell you that without you,
I am not whole anymore.

I’d make sure that before you leave again,
You know the truth
About the very depths of the amount
That I love you.

Before we said goodbye,
I would hold you tight as ever —
The way you hold somebody
Right before they leave forever.

I’d say I’ll think of you
Every part of every day,
And you’d tell me it won’t be life
If I live it that way.

That you will be a part
Of everything I ever am,
That I need to move on
Instead of trying to understand.

And as our time ran out again,
I’d try to act real tough,
But no amount of time with you
Could ever be enough.

But I won’t see you just once more,
But again and again and again,
Because the day that I do not
Will mean I’ve found my end.

And even when that day does come,
I’ll see you that day, too,
Because the first person I’m looking for
Once I get there
Is you.”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for hopeful hearts

“The version of you that wore smaller pants The version of you that wore ten sizes bigger than you do now All those versions are good The you in the photos way back in your camera roll that make your heart sink Because you feel you’ve let yourself go—that version and this version? Both good The version of you that you’d never want to mentally feel like But still wish you physically looked like”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“If you let yourself fall in love with everything you love You are always in love And what a beautiful way to be”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“met you in the summer and all I could do was hope I’d have the privilege Of loving you in the fall That when the sky started to grey and the leaves started to live on the ground Instead of in the trees That I would not only still know you but love you and I would say it out loud And you would say it back I hoped that I could hold you through the loneliest season And it wouldn’t feel lonely anymore When I loved you in the fall”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“The house I grew up in still stands tall And my mom still answers the landline My childhood bedroom exactly as I left it Me a different person every time I spend the night”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“I didn’t know it at the time But loving me was letting you go And hindsight allows me to see the hardest thing I’ve ever done as something beautiful”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“You watched as I turned from a person to a puzzle As cracks formed slowly on every part of me I ever showed you And once I was fully crumbled You sloppily packed me up in a box for the next person Who will have to do their best to fill in the blanks”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“There’s a version of you and I that got it right Somewhere out there, in some alternate universe We write grocery lists, we find lost car keys, we have so many Sunday mornings left We kiss goodbye at the door so quickly we almost miss”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“So stop being mad at yourself for yesterday And make the decision you wish you’d made then, now I know you love to dwell on the past But nothing new can grow there Nothing new can grow there”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“Being an anxious person is being so thoughtful it makes you feel sick It’s fearing the worst because you want the best It’s sweating the small things because everything matters to you Do you know how special it is to care as much as you do?”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“I hope the mention of mid-November makes you feel haunted in ways that are both good and bad. I hope the pages about grey days and wet sidewalks make you think of someone in particular. I hope you’ve forgiven them.”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“Be in love with trying new recipes and taking the long way home And coffee that’s exactly how you like it every morning Be in love with the last album your favorite artist released A book you read recently, or your weekly trip to the grocery store”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“I hope I made you feel good about yourself And I hope you feel warm when I cross your mind Because it makes you think of a time when Somebody loved every single thing about you Because I did”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“If you’ve ever had a dog, you know.
You know what it’s like to be loved
just for being exactly who you are.

You could have nothing,
and you’d still be everything to them.
You could lose it all,
and they wouldn’t bat an eye
in the unconditional way
you can only understand
if you’ve ”
― Josie Balka, Loves of Our Lives: Poems for Hopeful Hearts

“Maybe healing isn't becoming someone new, but remembering who you were before the world told you who to be”
― Josie Balka

“Sometimes I have to stop for a moment in disbelief To come to terms with the fact That you and I are not close friends anymore”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“But both are equally worthy And there truthfully never has been a version of you That you thought was good while it was yours You only wanted it back after it was gone And that cycle will continue for the rest of your life.”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“What did being loved by me feel like? What was it like for you during the time that I thought you hung the moon? What was it like to sit across from someone who thought you could do no wrong Even while you did the wrong things?”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living

“Anxiety is beautiful but it is exhausting It’s like playing tug-of-war constantly with what is within your control and what isn’t”
― Josie Balka, I Hope You Remember: Poems on Loving, Longing, and Living