Craig Zerf > Quotes

“A four-million-year-old toddler.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“I often wonder why God saw fit to limit man’s intelligence but to still allow him limitless stupidity.”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“If walk, long time, if run fast, not long time. If make camp and sleep, very, very long time. If run other way, never get there.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“If you cannot prove that something exists, well, then you also can’t prove that it doesn’t exist.”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“Because the future was a constantly changing thing. Ephemeral and entropic, meaning that it was impossible to predict with any type of accuracy, because the mere act of divination changed ones perception and thereby changed the predicted future.  But it was possible to guide. To shepherd the future in a general direction. This was, and always had been, the unicorn’s purpose. Its sole purpose. And, although it knew not the intimate details of the coming future, it did know one thing for certain… It”
― Craig Zerf, Unicorn

“HM Belmarsh prison, or Hellmarsh as the inmates call it, is a category A prison situated in the South East of London. The prison service manual states that Category A prisoners are: “Those whose escape would be highly dangerous to the public or national security. Offenses that may result in consideration for Category A or Restricted Status include: Attempted murder, Manslaughter, Wounding with intent, Rape, Indecent assault, Robbery or conspiracy to rob (with firearms), Firearms offences, Importing or supplying Class A controlled drugs, Possessing or supplying explosives, Offenses connected with terrorism and Offeses under the Official Secrets Act.” In other words, Belmarsh prison is filled with some very bad people. But there is nothing to worry about. Belmarsh is a state of the art facility. High walls, well-trained guards and a system of electronically controlled Mag-locks that secure every door on every cell. Even in the event of an EMP or similar power outage there is a hardened back up battery that keeps the cells secure. The batteries last for sixteen hours. Or until 10:00 am in the morning. It is now 10:01 am. Belmarsh houses approximately eight hundred and eighty inmates. Or, to put it more correctly - Belmarsh used to hold eight hundred and eighty inmates.”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“Then the Desolation hit them. A wave of unadulterated emotion. Terror, loathing, disgust and despair all rolled into one gigantic, all consuming tsunami of bottomless despair and hatred. Hatred of oneself, of the world, of those around you. Of the very air that you were breathing and the light that you saw. Depression.”
― Craig Zerf, Unicorn

“A single tear rolled down her cheek. The moonlight turned it into a tiny rivulet of blue ice against her soft pale skin. The”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“You know what a necromancer is?" "Yes. Bad man makes dead stinky things alive but not.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“Come on, let's hump it.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“Walk softly and carry a big stick.”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“can”
― Craig Zerf, Wolfman

“O sleep! O gentle sleep! Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down ‘And steep my senses in forgetfulness? Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs, ‘Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee, And hush’d with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, Than in the perfum’d chambers of the great, Under the canopies of costly state, And lull’d with sound of sweetest melody?”
― Craig Zerf, The Forever Man: Books 1-6

“I fight off a trio of Humanoid Fortis dudes, only to be killed by Winnie the fucking Pooh on steroids.”
― Craig Zerf, Ascension

“geas”
― Craig Zerf, Unicorn

“What plan?" "Not sure," admitted Leo. "Any ideas?" "Yes, hit them inna face until heads come off." "That's not a bad plan, Zog. Simple, yet succinct." "Yes, Zog...”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“Maybe they’ll be like Empire Stormtroopers, and just miss with every shot,”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“Someone's in there," he pointed at a closed door. "And they're alive. Human, I think." "We kick down door and smack him inna head." "Once again, your tactical nous astounds me." "Zog clever.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“humanity is, when it comes down to it, a fairly useless fecking bunch.”
― Craig Zerf, Pulse

“Pyroclasm (Level 25): subject can channel the power of a volcanic eruption, sending molten lava cascading down upon enemies, dealing massive damage over time.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“‎“Any place where you had to take drugs to have a good time seemed counterproductive to me. ‎What was the point in going somewhere if the only way you could stomach it was by downing half a ‎pound of Ecstasy?”‎”
― Craig Zerf, Dark Magic

“Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. So, use them wisely. Ah ... just kidding. Go mad, shoot whatever you want.”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“you just went full Leeroy Jenkins," mumbled”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation

“You know what they say, sir,” noted the Master Guns. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. But if you run into assholes all day – then maybe you’re the asshole.”
― Craig Zerf, First Strike

“you just went full Leeroy Jenkins,”
― Craig Zerf, Preparation