Tom Ryan > Quotes

“I have come to judge a good story as one that makes me feel as if I'm losing a friend when I read the final page, close the book, and put it down for the last time.”
― Tom Ryan, Following Atticus

“We all have a bit of Adam and Eve in us. Sooner or later we come to a point in our youth when we lose our innocence and it feels like we've been kicked out of the Garden. Whether we admit it or not, all of us want to make our way back home to that time again. But innocence lost is difficult to find. Nevertheless, we look for it. We long for it, dream of it, and are haunted by it. Occasionally we glimpse it again, perhaps in the laughter of a child, the first snowfall of the holiday season, or when we hold a little puppy in our arms. And then in a flash it vanishes and we miss it all the more. But I'd like to think that if we can get our lives just right and become who we were always supposed to be -- if we become the people we dreamed of being when we were young and pure and innocent, then and only then do we find our way home again. I don't think many make it. There are just too many distractions and obstacles. Yet I've come to believe that the worst we can do is to give up looking for it.”
― Tom Ryan

“Most of us don't know what we want out of life, but we're all sure we don't have it.”
― Tom Ryan

“It's our story. We should tell it together”
― Tom Ryan, I Hope You're Listening

“It began as many a beginning does, with an end.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“In my daily prayers, I name about ten people I’d like to send blessings to: five whom I love and another five whom I might not even like.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“The basic process of climbing a mountain was therapeutic, almost cathartic. There was the simple act of walking into the woods and away from the world. Then there was the climb itself, where the body worked: muscles flexed and released, lungs rose and fell, the heart beat. It was as if the complications in my life were breaking down and the only thing I cared about was the next place I'd put my foot or finding something to hold to pull myself up. After all that work to get to the summit came that views from the top. The failed Catholic in me saw it as a spiritual journey, much like the ones any holy man had made in leaving behind society. Christ, Buddha, Muhammad - they all did it, and they came back with clarity. For me the climb was my confession, working out the troubles of my past. Sitting on top was communion. On each hike I allowed myself to be pulled apart and then put back together again.”
― Tom Ryan

“As always, I was inspired by the gumption and spirit of Atticus. He doesn't harbor my fears or concerns. Life is simpler for him. He just goes out and does things he knows he can do.”
― Tom Ryan, Following Atticus: Forty-Eight High Peaks, One Little Dog, and an Extraordinary Friendship

“Wonder is the heaviest element on the periodic table. Even a tiny fleck of it stops time. —DIANE ACKERMAN”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“In my experience, the process of achieving the goal became joy-filled. Identifying your priceless does that. It keeps us up late and wakes us up early. There’s no separation between work and play when we love our craft. I was experiencing that, thanks to this sport. Despite my immaturity and lack of experience, my work ethic, and no fear of failing elevated me. I took chances, made mistakes, and fell short. I was obsessed with building Hofstra into a national powerhouse. Sometimes I handled things wrong, and sometimes I tried to do too much at once. But I learned and kept working. Wrestling was my life, and at some point, my god.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it.
- Tom Ryan - Following Atticus”
― Tom Ryan

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope. —THOMAS MERTON”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“Atticus wasn’t perfect, but like all of us, he was perfect at being himself.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“One of my heroes is Dr. Jane Goodall. Her life’s work with animals and her compassion for those who cannot speak for themselves and for the good earth itself often nudge me in the right direction. When she speaks, I listen, and in turn I find myself becoming more human. She wrote: “Thousands of people who say they love animals sit down once or twice a day to enjoy the flesh of creatures who have been utterly deprived of everything that could make their lives worth living and who endured the awful suffering and the terror of the abattoirs.” I realized that through my ignorance and my decision not to look at what I was eating more closely, I was part of the problem she addressed.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“Small gains came, and I held onto each one. I formed small, non-negotiable habits previously not part of my life. Deeply in love with wrestling now, I assessed every aspect of the sport to identify where I could make gains. Making sure I chose my weekly training partners every Monday would ensure I had the right partner to challenge me. I wanted to be deeply challenged in every practice. Sunday, I made my meals for the week—grilled chicken and pasta were cheap, simple, and nutritious. I don’t remember ever eating fast food. When I had a day full of classes, I filled my backpack with veggies to make sure I had the energy I needed to thrive in practice.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“After the NCAA’s my senior year, I worked in the Amana colonies on an assembly line where I shaved down parts for refrigerators. Working eight hours on the night shift felt like I was punishing myself for not winning. I was angry and empty for a while, numbing myself with work that was simple and repetitive. Every thirty-seconds I received a part on my spot on the assembly line. I grabbed it, shaved down any sharp edges, and placed it back on the line.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”3 Deep suffering often has a distinct, poignant effect on our lives. It did for me. The chosen suffering for me was deep, but not deep enough. Maybe I wasn’t tough enough to initiate the type of pain that unchosen suffering caused me. Welcome to unchosen suffering. Unchosen suffering brought me to my knees. It’s a pain inflicted upon us by circumstances outside our control. You wouldn’t choose this suffering if given the option. It causes deep wounds and ropey scars on your soul. Not every type of unchosen suffering drops us but the one I experienced did. Nothing prepares anyone for this sudden life alteration. It’s a jolting, shocking pain. At thirty-six years old, I found out through personal experience, and it would change the way I thought and the way I walked on this planet.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it
-Tom Ryan - Following Atticus”
― Tom Ryan

“I've often thought about how people love Atticus, but it was different with Will. Atticus had a presence that was otherworldly, beyond all of us. But something about Will spoke to each and every one of us. He knew heartbreak, hopelessness, disappointment, pain, betrayal, and abandonment- the experiences we recognize in the lines of our own faces when we look in the mirror each day. We an all relate to the emptiness of going without love, understanding, compassion, or empathy. We know what it is like to be lonely or without a friend, whether for a day or a year. Atticus had never known a day without love. He was consistently self-assured, confident, with a knowingness about the world. There was no reason for him to feel any other way. No, most of us have no clue what it's like to live as Atticus lived- for his entire life.
Atticus represents an ideal, a possibly unattainable hope. Will is us, with all our fears, scars and possibilities.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: A Story of Friendship, Faith, and One Old Dog's Choice to Live Again

“Consistent actions build respect, not words. I worked to develop my mass—that sense of who you are—into something that pulled others in. Since I was attracted to those who were tough and real, my roommates were Terry Brands, one of the more ferocious competitors in NCAA history, and Travis Fisher, a hard-nosed, small town Iowa boy. They asked me to room with them, and I jumped at the opportunity. I based every decision on principles that would lead me to greatness on the mat. Terry and Travis were blessings to live with as both had jumped the gap from believing to committing. I’ve learned Elite people have a bias toward action.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“Chosen suffering was the world that ruled my thoughts: my choices, my life, and my control of what’s next. The trust in the priest’s voice intrigued me. He was so sure about what he told me because he spent his life researching it. He was completely committed to it, and I was confident about what I was telling him too. Each of us believed and committed to the message we conveyed and our purpose. We both made progress on our chosen paths because of that commitment. I knew how to train and become Elite at wrestling. Gable was teaching me that. We both held onto the truths we explored. As I walked in the front door of my home, I quickly put aside the conversation on the bus. It was great to be home, even temporarily.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“Everyone misses being a kid”
― Tom Ryan

“Nature can show us the way home, the way out of the prison of our own minds. —ECKHART TOLLE”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“I thought about the things we take for granted in our lives and the promises we believe we’re entitled to. At that moment, I learned the only guarantee is that life is a gift. I didn’t need or want this lesson, but I was about to learn much more in the days, weeks, and months ahead.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“Watching those flowers come for a little dog who couldn't see well, couldn't hear in the least, had lost his appetite, and was so weak he could barely stand, I thought of the pleasure he'd receive with his wondrous nose. As I placed the bouquets around the apartment, I reminded myself that it doesn't matter where you come from, it's how you end up. p224”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: A Story of Friendship, Faith, and One Old Dog's Choice to Live Again

“We had never consistently prayed together in the first eleven years of marriage. In the coming days, I would often find myself on my knees in prayer, but not on this night. In this moment, I was chasing the fleeting hope found in the ambulance that raced my son to the hospital. We reached out to the God I knew was there but hadn’t allowed as part of the inner circle of my life. I believed but never fully trusted enough to commit. Sometimes, we never fully commit until the circumstances demand it.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“Coach Dan Gable walked over to where I was sitting and asked who I was. I told him my name, that I would be enrolling in school in the Fall, and would like to walk-on (no athletic scholarship) to his team. I was free for the program, but free is only useful if it has substance and can hold over time. Wrestling as a 150-pounder, Coach Gable didn’t need me because sophomore Doug Streicher had placed fifth in the nation. A homegrown Iowa boy, he’d just earned All-American honors placing fifth in the nation that March. He was a great mat wrestler, with a challenging style of wrestling. I respected him as a team member but also as a tough opponent who I was likely to battle for the starting spot. We both had two years of eligibility remaining. Coach Gable’s next words were, “Okay. Well, you’re not going to get any better sitting there. Why don’t you jump in with the Steiner brothers over there.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“As the chase ensued, Teague didn’t realize Lyn was hiding around a corner. He’d lost sight of her in the chase. As he darted past her, she scooped him up. At that moment, while still seated at the head of the table, something overwhelmed me. My body was hit with a strange sensation I’d never felt before. I didn’t know what it was and shook it off. But I’ll never forget it. When Lyn snatched Teague up into her arms, I noticed his head dangling a bit, but I didn’t say anything because moms are baby-carrying experts. The dogs jumped at him as though something was wrong.”
― Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering: Becoming Elite In Life And Leadership

“I don’t remember much about those years. They are gone. I think I misplaced them on purpose, perhaps to protect that seven-year-old who hurt too much.”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again

“One of my heroes is Dr. Jane Goodall. Her life’s work with animals and her compassion for those who cannot speak for themselves and for the good earth itself often nudge me in the right direction. When she speaks, I listen, and in turn I find myself becoming more human. She wrote: “Thousands of people who say they love animals sit down once or twice a day to enjoy the flesh of creatures who have been utterly deprived of everything that could make their lives worth living and who endured the awful suffering and the terror of the abattoirs.” I realized that through my ignorance and my decision not to look at what I was eating more closely, I was part of the problem she addressed. I love animals, and yet I”
― Tom Ryan, Will's Red Coat: The Story of One Old Dog Who Chose to Live Again