Reid Mockery > Quotes

“Chapter 1 I wish I were prettier and that my boobs were bigger.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Your other fear. Out of all the things a person could fear in this entire world. Is…flutes?”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“The thing you don’t want to be part of is the Detergents.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” father says. “Why don’t you run across the street and create a diversion?” I suggest. “I wish there was something else I could do to help,” he answers.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“I hear some chanting and continue walking until I see them. All the Badass are marching in step and singing the most irritating song I think I’ve ever heard. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
 I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you.
 Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
 If you are wise you’ll listen to me.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“And…because I have two of the largest balls this faction has ever seen. Does that answer your stupid question?” Oh my.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“He’s an angry elf, I think to myself.”
― Reid Mockery, Fifty Shades of Beige

“Fine!” I shout as I dump the box contents on the floor and stick the box on top of my head. “There! That’s my choice.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Okay, whatever. Listen, something is going on here. It’s like the Irritant are planning some sort of war against the Bleeding Hearts and other factions.” “How in the world would you know that?” “I know, it doesn’t make sense. It’s as if there was a giant plot problem in the original book and this is the only way to build the conflict. It’s about as unreasonable as you and I just happening to meet here in the lobby. But trust me. Something is going on. I just know.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“The Tactless faction is known for being brutally honest with everyone all the time.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“No one came to see me on visiting day either,” he says softly patting me on the back. “I wasn’t expecting anyone.” “Sure you were. Or at least you were hoping for someone. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it just means you’re not important to them.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“I do as they say. Inside the box is a sandwich and a syringe wrapped in a plastic bag with a sticker seal that reads, “Great for Everything.” I look into the mirror. “Please choose one item,” the voice says. “What for?” “Please choose one item. We can’t tell you what for.” “Does the sandwich have mayonnaise?” “What?”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Oh, I almost forgot. We also have the Tactless. Who never seem to keep their mouths shut.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Was that not how I was to act?” “No! This test is meant to show the leaders of Badass your fears. You turned it into you own little fantasy romp. That’s not good.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Hey Mom. I’m glad you came.” “Certainly dear, your Dad was going to…” I raise my hand to stop her from continuing, “You don’t have to say why.” “No, he wanted you to know. He said to tell you the reason he didn’t come was because you’re still dead to him. He is visiting your brother today, but he has no intentions of ever speaking to you again.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“I’ll take her place!” Skittles says. “I volunteer as tribute!”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“o”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent

“Many people have suspected me of being gay. I’m rich. I dress well. I have a fine knowledge of wine. Then, there is also the fact that I like to suck cock.”
― Reid Mockery, Fifty Shades of Beige

“The other factions I can choose from are Irritant, Mollycoddle, Tactless and Badass. My brother will most likely join Irritant. They are the intelligent faction. They know math and all of them can read and write. Cornhelium will fit right in with them. He loves to talk and…read…and think. Ugh. The upside is they all wear blue. One of my favorite colors. I’ve always thought I would look great in blue.”
― Reid Mockery, Divergent Parody: Detergent