Ford Forkum > Quotes

“make peace with death, and accept it as a moving on to a higher level of existence, or, alternately, as a relief from having to put up with any more bullcrap.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“The night dissolved into a sloppy haze of euphoria, excessive drinking, abuse of nitrous oxide, hearing damage, fainting spells, smoke inhalation, coughing fits, and vomiting. There were also reports of a few people spontaneously unlocking the secrets of the universe as a result of contact with fungus. All in all, a great party.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“everyone’s life belongs to themselves, and as long as they don’t encroach on other people’s lives, they should be allowed to do what they want with their own.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“Thank you for purchasing and reading “Beers In Heaven.” I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“you can take the person out of the ass—that is, you can remove the spirit from the body—but you can’t take the ass out of the person.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“The odd thing about surprises is how likely they are to occur.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“When God created life, he had no idea what he was doing. He never meant to cause so much suffering and grief;”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven

“Where did we go wrong?” his mother quipped. “Adoption,” his father answered. “It went south from there.” “Dad…” Zack spoke into the phone.”
― Ford Forkum, Beers In Heaven