Neil Patrick Harris > Quotes

“When I'm Sad I stop being sad, and be awesome instead.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“There’s a kid in the middle of nowhere who’s sitting there living for Tony performances. Singing and flipping along with the Pippins, and Wickeds, and Kinkys, Matildas, and Mormons's. So we might reassure that kid, and do something to spur that kid, ‘cause I promise you, all of us up here tonight, we were that kid.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“But magic is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's pretty good.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“Ted: Barney, the 3 days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney: Jesus.
Marshall: Barney, don't do this, not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously, Jesus started the whole wait-three-days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect.
Barney: If he'd have only waited one day, a lotta people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all "Hey, Jesus. What up?" And Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday."
Barney: Then they'd be all, "Uh, look pretty alive to me dude." And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be like "Ah, oh-kay, whatever you say "bro"."
Robin: Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney: And you're not gonna come back on a Saturday, everybody's busy! Doin' chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' their beards. No, he waits the exact, right number of days - three.
Ted: Ok, I promise, I'll wait 3 days. Just please stop talking.
Barney: Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there - "Oh no, Jesus is dead."
Barney: Then BAM! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched and FYI, that's when he invented the high-five.
Barney: Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“Sometimes you can have the smallest role in the smallest production and still make a big impact.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“Our culture's adjustment to the epistemology of television is by now all but complete; we have so thoroughly accepted its definitions of truth, knowledge and reality that irrelevance seems to us to be filled with import, and incoherence seems eminently sane. And if some of our institutions seem not to fit the template of the times, why it is they and not the template, that seem to us disordered and strange.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“It was so shiny”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“For me, magic can be a story, a game, a puzzle, or a surprise that takes my breath away in a single, furious gulp.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Magic Misfits

“When she is three, you catch her singing Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball,” a song nobody should sing until they’re at least dead.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“suit up”
― Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson, The Bro Code

“For others, magic is a crisp autumn’s day or a tender hug from a loved one.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Magic Misfits

“Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“Squee.” 1 (verb): To emit an onomatopoetic girlish swooning sound out of pure fanboy adulation. 2 (noun): the sound itself.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“The tots both started laughing. On the same day. I'm now obsessed with getting them to do it. Babies laughing is like opium.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“He wanted a home. He wanted a family. He wanted to have friends. But none of those things were realistic. At least not until he came to Mineral Wells. Right now Carter was just trying to hold on to the happiness he'd found since meeting Mr. Vernon the previous night.
"To belong, okay??" Carter snapped. He felt tears in his eyes, but he wasn't sure. Quickly, he wiped at them. "You don't know what it's like to be alone.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Magic Misfits

“i have to go" "I love you"

Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay”
― neil patrick harris

“For years I looked for you. I never gave up, but I never imagined that fate would bring you to Mineral Wells."
"Not fate," Leila said. "Magic."
Magic, fate, or coincidence. Carter wasn't sure which was which anymore.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Magic Misfits

“Then you go backstage and get a tour, and this to you is truly the coolest thing in the world. You’re shown the set and the lights and the costumes and learn another variation on the same basic lesson about showbiz you will learn over and over again—it’s all, fundamentally, just a bunch of crap glued together and spray-painted over. But the wonderful paradox is that knowing this does not detract from the experience of watching it a second time. On the contrary: it makes it that much more miraculous.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“I am gay - gay for that pussy!”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“You are Doogie Howser, M.D., and you will remain officially so for four years, and unofficially so, to some extent, for the rest of your natural life.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“You experience them experiencing pure magic, unadulterated by cynicism or irony or self-consciousness. And as the ride makes its full circle, so do you, until Peter Pan has done it again, and you are once more a child, taking it all in, amazed, overwhelmed, enchanted.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“Sometimes as a doctor, the best treatment is no treatment at all. But today was definitely not one of those times. RIP, van full of senior citizens. Next time I'll use medicine.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“So pluck up your courage and take that risk! Add another story to the book of your life. Even if it doesn’t go the way you planned or wanted, you’ll still learn from it. Adventure”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“comin’ straight outta Brentwood, a cadre of young stars who’ve grown up deprived of deprivation trying to transform themselves into street toughs by forming ““gangs”” so devoid of street cred it’s necessary to put the word in two sets of quotes. What kind of criminal activity are they engaged in? Script laundering? Agent smuggling? Film miscasting? Who knows. They think they have a posse when what they really have is a pose.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“Let that be a lesson, homophobes," you think proudly. "You wanna try to bully me? Prepare to get calmly notified the shit out of.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“experiencing pure magic, unadulterated by cynicism or irony or self-consciousness”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“You will be happy for Doogie, who, after conquering a twenty-year Valium addiction, now spends his days working with Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab, and his nights kicking back in the mansion in Valencia he bought with the proceeds of his successful XXX-rated series, Do Me Now Sir, DP: Volumes 1-35.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“...keep an eye out for crazed librarians, please!”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Fourth Suit

“To the kids, David is "Daddy" and you're "Papa". You find it a more convenient system of nomenclature than "Daddy 1" and "Daddy 2", or "Sinners A and B.”
― Neil Patrick Harris

“The man in the cave… in the top hat and the cape… The man who threatened us… who has been tormenting us for months… His face… it was my uncle Sly.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, The Fourth Suit