Tellulah Darling > Quotes

“Let me be a lesson to you, kids. There is a reason you shouldn’t get all cocky. Because if you do, the universe will come along and kick your ass hard.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Ex From Hell

“Because when you’ve been around forever, you have to find something outside yourself to believe in or go mad. I believe in humanity. I believe in you.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Ex From Hell

“There's blind faith and then there's 'did you walk into a bus and suffer brain damages' faith!”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“My father toasted me mockingly with his glass. "Then eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you die."

"Next week," Hades interrupted.

Zeus glowered at him. "Yes, obviously, but I was using a metaphor."
"No," his brother replied. "You were paraphrasing. Badly.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“One wrong move and I'm sleeping with the fishes?"

Zeus' brow creased in confusion. "Why would you sleep in water?"

Hades looked at his brother like he was a moron. "It's The Godfather...Forget it.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“Tree cutting and yoga, who knew Bethany was so multi-talented.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“I want a life. Not an afterlife.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“Boys who slay monsters for their friends are dreamy.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“Parents, do your daughters come home smelling like an orchard? Is their giggle quotient higher than usual? They may be in thrall to the dangerous wine cooler. Gateway drug of the terminally insecure, its usage results in excessive clumsiness and the condition ‘trophy wife-itis.’ The lethalness of which only manifests after age thirty-five and ends in gutter living and suicide.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Ex From Hell

“I'll have you know I am more than my six-pack.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“We're going to go sit and chat."
"Nice euphemism.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“Even if I win, what will my future hold? Can I put "saved world" on a college application? If I fulfil my destiny next week, where do I go from there? A Where Are They Now pity piece in some Greek god trash rag?”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“There is no crying in clubland.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell

“Pierce didn’t even look up at my entrance. He had his nose in a hardcover copy of Neil Gaiman’s latest. “Go.”
― Tellulah Darling, A Date of Godlike Proportions

“I look at you and my body realizes that the endless possibilities of the universe stretch out from this moment in time.”
― Tellulah Darling, A Date of Godlike Proportions

“You should totally write Valentine's Day cards. 'To my chemically compatible partner. Hope we enjoy a mutual interest together on this fine day.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Ex From Hell

“I'm just charmingly decorative.”
― Tellulah Darling, My Life From Hell