Ashley Lister > Quotes

“It was midnight and, framed by the cemetery gates, the figure stood tall and sinister. He was silhouetted by the weak light from a gibbous moon that made his muscular build and towering height seem much, much more than imposing. In one hand he held a heavy canvas sports bag. The other clutched a shovel that rested casually over one broad shoulder. If an errant driver or a late-night dog walker had glimpsed him, they would have thought he looked like a man with a strong sense of purpose.
But the roads were as silent as a held breath.”
― Ashley Lister, Blackstone Towers

“Jim studied her without saying a word. He had a friend who said that arguing with conspiracy theorists was like playing chess with a pigeon, in that it knocks the pieces over, shits all over the board, and still struts around as though it was victorious. He groaned at the idea of his career going down the pan because of a conspiracy theory.

— The Smoking Gunners, short story”
― Ashley Lister

“The thing that few people appreciated about Ed Gein was his skill as a seamstress.”
― Ashley Lister, Conversations with Dead Serial Killers

“Someone get the next round,” Tony decided. “And I’ll tell you a story.” He raised a warning finger as Geoff disappeared in the direction of the bar. Glancing purposefully at Heather, he said, “But I won’t tell you about a time I nearly died. I’ll tell you about a time when I thought I was going to die…”
― Ashley Lister, Raven and Skull

“What sort of danger is facing Ellie Green?” Crystal asked the board.
The planchette began to move again. Slowly this time, tracing the letters determinedly, it spelled another single word: MURDER.”
― Ashley Lister, Fearless

“The thing that few people appreciated about Ed Gein was his skill as a seamstress. Clive had sat through every episode of the Great British Sewing Bee and, whilst the finalists on that show invariably produced some nice-looking creations in the last episode of each series, and sometimes that was when they were working with awkward fabrics such as organza, pleated lace or chiffon, none of them had (yet) been challenged with creating something original from human skin.”
― Ashley Lister, Conversations with Dead Serial Killers

“One of the privates, Auton it sounded like, grunted a bark of laughter at this. He asked, “Why do you call them Liverpool fans, Sarge?”
Another one of them came running from the shadows. “Mine!” Miller shouted. He extended his Glock, waited until the creature was a metre away, and then squeezed the trigger. There was a deafening bang. Something wet shot from the back of the creature’s head. And then the zombie had fallen, motionless, to the floor.
“I call them Liverpool fans,” Miller said, smiling. “Because their brains have stopped working and they all need shooting in the face. It’s the same reason why you’ll hear some squaddies call them James Corden fans.”
“Are they infectious, Sarge?”
“Why? Are you thinking of dating one, Willoughby?”
― Ashley Lister, #DeadEndTours: Hurting Fields