Trey Parker > Quotes

“Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simpler, but much less magical”
― Trey Parker

“Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.”
― Trey Parker

“The most punk-rock thing you can do in L.A. is to say ‘George Bush is fucking awesome’ instead of talking about how lame it is that he’s fighting for oil.”
― Trey Parker

“I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that's an awful lot, girl.
And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say, is:
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck.
And now, all I can think about is your smile
and that shitty movie, too.
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.
Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
just a little bit more than I miss you.”
― Trey Parker

“We (libertarians) find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.”
― Trey Parker

“The basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.”
― Trey Parker

“I have maggots in my scrotum.”
― Trey Parker, The Book of Mormon

“Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!

Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.

Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?

Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.

Kim Jong Il: Or else what?

Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.”
― Trey Parker

“Kyle, every boy pays for kisses. Do you know what I am saying? If you've got a girl, and she kisses you, sooner or later you're paying for it. You've gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listenin' to all her stupid problems. Look, look at Stan right there. [Kyle turns to see Stan, who's listening to Wendy over at the merry-go-round] Why he's gotta sit there and listen to her stupid motherfuckin' problems 'cause she kisses him. If you ask me, that's a lot more than the five dollars my company charges.”
― Trey Parker

“The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It’s just bad writing, really. And it’s really terrible in about the second act.”
― Trey Parker

“Grandma? I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the shnot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I-I've been gettin' lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're layin' in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that, that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Bein' nothin' but you. 'Night Grandma.”
― Trey Parker and Matt Stone

“It really sucked, the whole thing. This statement put out that he was quitting, it kind of called us bigots. But we knew in our hearts there was something way more rotten going on.”
― Trey Parker and Matt Stone

“In the 14 years we’ve been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn’t stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn’t some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle’s customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn’t mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We’ll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we’ll see what happens to it.”
― Trey Parker