South Park Quotes

“Alice is fictional. This isn't.”
― Jess C. Scott, Zombie Mania: A Zombie Apocalypse Parody

“We (libertarians) find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.”
― Trey Parker

“The basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.”
― Trey Parker

“Well, I'm sorry, Wendy. But I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.”
― Mr. Garrison

“Grandma? I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the shnot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I-I've been gettin' lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're layin' in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that, that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Bein' nothin' but you. 'Night Grandma.”
― Trey Parker and Matt Stone

“F*ck you guys, I'm goin' home”
― Eric Cartman

“F*ck you guys, I'm goin' home.”
― Eric Cartman

“The only heaven we can hope for is one here on earth, now. We should stop waiting to get into heaven and start trying to create it.”
― Randy Marsh