Emily Oster > Quotes

“...I'm not crazy about the implication that pregnant women are incapable of deciding for themselves- that you have to manipulate our belief so we do the right thing. That feels, again, like pregnant women are not given any more credit than children would be in making important decisions.”
― Emily Oster, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know

“So why did my conclusions differ from theirs? At least two reasons. One is overinterpretation of flawed studies. But the bigger thing, I think, is the concern (which was expressed to me over and over again by doctors) is that if you tell people they can have a glass of wine, they'll have 3 (or one giant "bowl-o-wine"). Even if one isn't a problem, three are. Better to say you can't have any, as that rule is easy to understand.”
― Emily Oster, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know

“So let’s start by just framing this not as “What kind of mom will you be?” but “What is the optimal configuration of adult work hours for your household?” Less catchy, yes, but also perhaps more helpful for decision-making.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“But the world is oddly lacking in discussions of what happens, physically, to Mom after the baby arrives. Before the baby, you’re a vessel to be cherished and protected. After the baby, you’re a lactation-oriented baby accessory.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“First, recognize that children are not adults, and you usually cannot improve their behavior with a discussion. If your four-year-old is taking their shirt off in the museum, they will not respond to a reasoned discussion about how you actually do need to wear a shirt in public places. The flip side of this - more important - is that you shouldn't expect them to respond to adult reasoning. And as a result, you should not get angry the way you would if, say, your spouse was stripping in the museum and didn't stop after you explained why they shouldn't.

Toddler discipline is, really, parental discipline. Breathe. Take a second.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“The physical and emotional challenges of work pale in comparison to the physical and emotional challenges of being an on-scene parent.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“I’ll say it: I am lucky enough to not have to work, in the sense that Jesse and I could change how we organize our life to live on one income. I work because I like to. I love my kids! They are amazing. But I wouldn’t be happy staying home with them. I’ve figured out that my happiness-maximizing allocation is something like eight hours of work and three hours of kids a day. It isn’t that I like my job more than my kids overall—if I had to pick, the kids would win every time. But the “marginal value” of time with my kids declines fast. In part, this is because kids are exhausting. The first hour with them is amazing, the second less good, and by hour four I’m ready for a glass of wine or, even better, some time with my research. My job doesn’t have this feature. Yes, the eighth hour is less fun than the seventh, but the highs are not as high and the lows are not as low. The physical and emotional challenges of work pale in comparison to the physical and emotional challenges of being an on-scene parent. The eighth hour at my job is better than the fifth hour with the kids on a typical day. And that is why I have a job. Because I like it. It should be okay to say this. Just like it should be okay to say that you stay home with your kids because that is what you want to do. I’m well aware that many people don’t want to be an economist for eight hours a day. We shouldn’t have to say we’re staying home for children’s optimal development, or at least, that shouldn’t be the only factor in the decision. “This is the lifestyle I prefer” or “This is what works for my family” are both okay reasons to make choices! So before you even get into reading what the evidence says is “best” for your child or thinking about the family budget, you—and your partner, or any other caregiving adults in the house—should think about what you would really like to do.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“Let’s say you are 31 and you undergo the cell-free fetal DNA screening. With a good result on this, the baby’s risk of having Down syndrome is around 1 in 100,000. The risk of miscarriage from the amniocentesis or CVS test is around 1 in 800. What you need to decide for yourself is whether having a baby with Down syndrome unexpectedly would be more than 125 times worse than having a miscarriage (that is, 100,000 divided by 800). If yes, then skip right to the invasive test—probably CVS given the timing. If no, then stick with the noninvasive screen.”
― Emily Oster, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong-and What You Really Need to Know

“These books, which cover many of the topics discussed in this book, may be helpful further reading. GENERAL REFERENCE American Academy of Pediatrics. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age Five. New York: Bantam, 2004. Druckerman, P. Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. New York: Penguin, 2014. Eliot, L. What’s Going On in There?: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life. New York: Bantam, 2000. Nathanson, L. The Portable Pediatrician for Parents: A Month-by-Month Guide to Your Child’s Physical and Behavioral Development from Birth to Age Five. New York: HarperCollins, 1994. DISCIPLINE Phelan, T. W. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12. Naperville, IL: ParentMagic, Inc., 2010. Webster-Stratton, C. The Incredible Years: A Trouble-Shooting Guide for Parents of Children Aged 2–8. Toronto: Umbrella Press, 1992. SLEEP Ferber, R. Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. Rev. ed. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2006. Karp, H. The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer. Rev. ed. New York: Bantam, 2015. Weissbluth, M. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: A Step-by-Step Program for a Good Night’s Sleep. 4th ed. New York: Ballantine Books, 2015. POTTY TRAINING Glowacki, J. Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right. New York: Touchstone, 2015.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“It isn't that I like my job more than my kids overall --if I had to pick, the kids would win every time. But the "marginal value" of time with my kids declines fast. In part, this is because kids are exhausting. The first hour with them is amazing, the second less good, and by hour four I'm ready for a glass of wine or, even better, some time with my research.

My job doesn't have this feature. Yes, the eighth hour is less fun than the seventh, but the highs are not as high and the lows are not as low. The physical and emotional challenges of work pale in comparison to the physical and emotional challenges of being an on-scene parent. The eighth hour at my job is better than the fifth hour with the kids on a typical day. And that is why I have a job. Because I like it.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“In reality, pregnancy medical care seemed to be one long list of rules. In fact, being pregnant was a lot like being a child again. There was always someone telling you what to do. It started right away.”
― Emily Oster, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong-and What You Really Need to Know

“We know being a parent means getting a lot of advice, but this advice is almost never accompanied by an explanation of why something is true or not, or to what degree we can even know it’s true. And by not explaining why, we remove people’s ability to think about these choices for themselves, with their own preferences playing a role. Parents are people, too, and they deserve better.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“always especially good evidence.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“Swaddling has been shown to reduce crying and improve sleep. It is important to swaddle in a way that allows the baby to move its legs and hips. Colic is defined as excessive crying. It is self-limiting, meaning it will stop eventually. Changing formula or maternal diet, treatment with a probiotic, or both have shown some positive impacts. Collecting data on your baby is fun! But not necessary or especially useful. Exposing your infant to germs early on risks their getting sick, and the interventions for a feverish infant are aggressive and typically include a spinal tap. Limiting germ exposure may be a good idea, even if just to avoid these interventions.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“Perhaps because of this total uncertainty about what’s going on (which, luckily, mostly lessens with later children), small concerns can totally take over. You are very tired, and you are now facing a challenge unlike any you have ever known. So cut yourself some slack if things get a little absurd.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“Based on the data in the previous graph”
― Emily Oster, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years

“In the crib: Wearable blanket: check!”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“These risks of DVT and PE are higher in pregnancy for two reasons. First”
― Emily Oster, The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications

“These are just exemplars—many”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“The short summary is that while there are some short-term benefits to the baby breastfeeding early in infancy—digestive health”
― Emily Oster, The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications

“More months in day care before eighteen months are associated with slightly lower cognitive scores by four and a half years old”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“On top of that”
― Emily Oster, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years

“If I choose not to breastfeed, I don’t want to acknowledge that there are even small possible benefits to breastfeeding. So I encamp myself in the position that breastfeeding is a waste of time. On the other side, if I spend two years taking my boobs out every three hours, I need to believe that this is what it takes to deliver a life of continued successes to my child. This is a deeply human temptation, but it is also really counterproductive. Your choices can be right for you but also not necessarily the best choices for other people. Why? You are not other people. Your circumstances differ. Your preferences differ. In the language of economics, your constraints differ.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“Starting pretty much the first day you menstruate, your fertility is declining. Your most fertile time is in your teens, and it goes down from there—30 is worse than 20, and 40 is worse than 30.”
― Emily Oster, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong-and What You Really Need to Know

“This is valuable because it takes into account all the differences between the moms”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“But to the extent that they draw conclusions”
― Emily Oster, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years

“In this case”
― Emily Oster, The Unexpected: Navigating Pregnancy During and After Complications

“Studies have argued that kids whose parents are very heavily involved (especially when the kids are actually in college) have less autonomy and are less engaged with their peers.8 This work suggests that kids who are parented in this way are more likely to experience anxiety and even abuse pain medication.9 One study of three hundred college students showed that students who perceived their parents to be overly involved helicopter types were more likely to be depressed.10”
― Emily Oster, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years

“A 2006 review covered nineteen studies of the unfortunately named “Extinction” method—the form of “cry it out” in which you leave and do not return—of which seventeen showed improvements in sleep.3 Another fourteen studies used “Graduated Extinction”—where you come in to check on the baby at increasingly lengthy intervals—and all showed improvements. A smaller number of studies covered “Extinction with Parental Presence”—in which you stay in the room but let the child cry—and these also showed positive effects. These effects persist through six months or a year in studies that can look this far out. This means that children who are sleep trained are sleeping better (on average) even a year after the training.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“In 2015”
― Emily Oster, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years