Becky Monson > Quotes

“Excuses are like backsides. Everybody’s got one, and they all stink.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“They bamboozled me.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“You know that saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”? Well, right now life is giving me lemons. And I don’t want to make lemonade with them. I want to squeeze the juice into someone’s paper cut.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“Spinster Recipe   1 Pair of Cellulite Thighs 1 None-Social Life 1 Very Bad Sense of Style 1 Single-Wide Trailer (or Parents’ Basement) 1 Cat (or more, according to taste) 1 Lack of Motivation               Directions: Mix together and then cry yourself to sleep.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“You might be throwing somethin’ away that could be good because you can’t see past the bad.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“The suite is so big that there are two bedrooms, a master suite and a smaller room, both with full bathrooms. Jared takes the smaller room to get ready because, clearly, he loves me.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Four Going on Bride

“My heart does a little flutter when I hear his name, which is so rude of my heart because clearly, I hate Jared.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“I seriously should find myself a new doctor, one who sugar-coats everything. I could use more sugar-coating in my life right now.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“You made me see things I hadn’t seen before. You’ve helped me so much. I’m a different man because of you. I can never thank you enough. But you just aren’t enough for me.”
― Becky Monson, Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

“Hurt. Betrayal. Loss. Dove Chocolate. These are the things I’m experiencing right now.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“My mom would sometimes tell us, when we were having a hard time with something, to look outside ourselves for answers. I never quite got what she meant until right now. Being there for someone else … well, it sort of feels like a balm on my soul.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“marketing”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“The key to getting someone to open up is to meet them on their level. Find out their interests and know that you will likely find them boring.”
― Becky Monson, Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

“the”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“Babe, your boobs are perfect,” Marco says, giving her a little eyebrow wiggle. She squints her eyes at him. “I mean with the breastfeeding.”
― Becky Monson, Love Songs Suck

“So, have you told him?” “Chase?” “Yeah.” “I … haven’t yet,” I say. “Well, you should,” he says. “Guys are dumb. We need you to spell it out for us.” He gives me a knowing smile.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“I wasn’t looking at your butt,” I say. “Sure,” he replies. I was. I was looking at his butt. We may be just friends, but I’m not blind. The man has a nice one.”
― Becky Monson, Not Boyfriend Material

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― Becky Monson, Speak Now: or Forever Hold Your Peace

“a”
― Becky Monson, Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

“Telegram @bestsupplies1 Buy Cocaine Online In Chicopee”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“sort of remember having a roommate in college that tried to get me to jog with her. Obviously it did not have a lasting impression on me.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“Telegram @bestsupplies1 Buy Cocaine Online In Green Bay”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Three Going on Girlfriend

“Telegram @bestsupplies1 Buy Cocaine Online In Fond Lac”
― Becky Monson, Not Boyfriend Material

“there’s a difference in working to not have the same life as someone, and choosing a completely different life because you’re afraid you might turn out like them.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“Dear Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to not slap people. “What seems to be the problem?” I ask after taking in a nice, calming breath. Which doesn’t work at all. “I just don’t understand why they changed the script,” she says. Dear Lord, grant me the serenity . . . I take another deep breath and will my eyes not roll to the ceiling as they are dying to do. It’s like a magnetic force is drawing them there.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“It’s a perfect night, temperature-wise, and the cloudless sky is putting on an excellent show, the stars twinkling above us and the moon bright. I think of all the things we’ve done, this might be my favorite.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“We both start laughing really hard at that. It’s one of those times where it’s not all that funny, but it hits just the right chord, and then our laughter feeds off each other, and suddenly my sides hurt and breathing feels hard.”
― Becky Monson, The Love Potion

“For me?” he asks, and pushes out his bottom lip, giving me the same look Alice gives me when she’s trying to manipulate me into doing something. Works every time with her. I’m falling for it this time too.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“frosting: two sticks of pure butter—the salted kind, four cups of powdered sugar, one tablespoon of my homemade vanilla, and a touch of cream to thin it out. It’s amazing.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“Telegram @bestsupplies1 Buy Cocaine Online In Madison”
― Becky Monson, One Happy Summer