Becky Monson > Quotes

“Excuses are like backsides. Everybody’s got one, and they all stink.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“They bamboozled me.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“You know that saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”? Well, right now life is giving me lemons. And I don’t want to make lemonade with them. I want to squeeze the juice into someone’s paper cut.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“Spinster Recipe   1 Pair of Cellulite Thighs 1 None-Social Life 1 Very Bad Sense of Style 1 Single-Wide Trailer (or Parents’ Basement) 1 Cat (or more, according to taste) 1 Lack of Motivation               Directions: Mix together and then cry yourself to sleep.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“I seriously should find myself a new doctor, one who sugar-coats everything. I could use more sugar-coating in my life right now.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“Hurt. Betrayal. Loss. Dove Chocolate. These are the things I’m experiencing right now.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“You might be throwing somethin’ away that could be good because you can’t see past the bad.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“My heart does a little flutter when I hear his name, which is so rude of my heart because clearly, I hate Jared.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“The suite is so big that there are two bedrooms, a master suite and a smaller room, both with full bathrooms. Jared takes the smaller room to get ready because, clearly, he loves me.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Four Going on Bride

“My mom would sometimes tell us, when we were having a hard time with something, to look outside ourselves for answers. I never quite got what she meant until right now. Being there for someone else … well, it sort of feels like a balm on my soul.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“You made me see things I hadn’t seen before. You’ve helped me so much. I’m a different man because of you. I can never thank you enough. But you just aren’t enough for me.”
― Becky Monson, Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

“I didn’t get my planning and organizational skills from my dad. Or my mom. I still sometimes wonder if I were adopted.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“He’s about as confused as a fart in a fan factory”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Three Going on Girlfriend

“The key to getting someone to open up is to meet them on their level. Find out their interests and know that you will likely find them boring.”
― Becky Monson, Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

“I’ve finally gotten what I wanted, but it’s not exactly how I wanted it. This is the theme of my life: not exactly how I wanted it. And that’s really it. Maybe life isn’t how anyone wants it. Maybe that’s the reality no one admits to. Life is more about settling than it is about getting what you want. They can’t teach you that in school, though—that whole “Reach for the stars” thing doesn’t have quite the same effect as “Reach for something near the stars and learn to be happy with it.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Girl

“the”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“Babe, your boobs are perfect,” Marco says, giving her a little eyebrow wiggle. She squints her eyes at him. “I mean with the breastfeeding.”
― Becky Monson, Love Songs Suck

“So, have you told him?” “Chase?” “Yeah.” “I … haven’t yet,” I say. “Well, you should,” he says. “Guys are dumb. We need you to spell it out for us.” He gives me a knowing smile.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“I wasn’t looking at your butt,” I say. “Sure,” he replies. I was. I was looking at his butt. We may be just friends, but I’m not blind. The man has a nice one.”
― Becky Monson, Not Boyfriend Material

“I think I’m in danger of falling fully back into my crush on him.”
― Becky Monson, Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

“Except I keep thinking of the line Nadia said that I’m still pretty sure she stole from a movie: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want that life to start as soon as possible.”
― Becky Monson , The Wedding Jinx

“marketing”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“I guess Zane Porter is going to Pride and Prejudice Park with me.”
― Becky Monson, Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

“frosting: two sticks of pure butter—the salted kind, four cups of powdered sugar, one tablespoon of my homemade vanilla, and a touch of cream to thin it out. It’s amazing.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“a paper cup of coffee in one hand and looking down at me, seated on a rather uncomfortable wooden”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“frugally.”
― Becky Monson, Thirty-Two Going on Spinster

“For me?” he asks, and pushes out his bottom lip, giving me the same look Alice gives me when she’s trying to manipulate me into doing something. Works every time with her. I’m falling for it this time too.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“It’s a perfect night, temperature-wise, and the cloudless sky is putting on an excellent show, the stars twinkling above us and the moon bright. I think of all the things we’ve done, this might be my favorite.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text

“Dear Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to not slap people. “What seems to be the problem?” I ask after taking in a nice, calming breath. Which doesn’t work at all. “I just don’t understand why they changed the script,” she says. Dear Lord, grant me the serenity . . . I take another deep breath and will my eyes not roll to the ceiling as they are dying to do. It’s like a magnetic force is drawing them there.”
― Becky Monson, Just a Name

“He makes me laugh. And I feel like … me around him.
I feel like me.”
― Becky Monson, The Accidental Text