Jen Wilde > Quotes

“That's what we do. We walk a tightrope every day. Getting out the door is a tightrope. Going grocery shopping is a tightrope. Socializing is a tightrope. Things that most people consider to be normal, daily parts of life are the very things we fear and struggle with the most, and yet here we are, moving forward anyway. That's not weak.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“To the girl who hid in the shadows and tried to body-shame me, I’m sorry you thought that was a good use of your time and energy. I hope you find happiness within yourself. You deserve that. We all do.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Besides, there's no one way to be a girl, Tay. You don't need to fit yourself into what society tells us a girl should be. Girls can be whoever they want. Whether that's an ass-kicking, sarcastic, crime-solving FBI Agent or a funny, gorgeous, witty beauty queen--or both at the same time." She swings an arm around me and pulls me in.

"Are you happy the way you are? Are you comfortable? Do you feel like yourself?"

The corner of my mouth lifts into a half smile. "Yes. Yes. And yes."

"Then that's all that matters. Fuck everything else.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“I’m forever observing, trying to learn how to be an adult human being by watching others, and I’m constantly in awe of how easy some people make it look.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“You can't pick and chose whose equality you support. That's not equality.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“My bottom lip starts to quiver, but I keep going. “I fight every day, and too many times it’s just not enough and the fear wins. I’m so fucking weak and everything is so fucking intense and sometimes I really hate it.” I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands as the tears pour out of me. I didn’t mean to say all that. I feel exposed. Tears fill her eyes, too. “Can I hug you?” I nod, unable to speak. She walks around the table and hugs me.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“In one brief conversation, she made me see that there’s nothing wrong with me.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Haven't you heard? Nerds are cool now.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Sometimes I see people at the supermarket or somewhere else, smiling and cheerfully making small talk with strangers and not looking tense or uncomfortable at all, and i just want to go up and ask them how they do it. How did they manage to do everything they need to do and go out in the world and be human without feeling the weight of it all questioning them into oblivion”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Me. The geek girl from the suburbs of Melbourne. The youngest daughter of Chinese immigrants. The only openly bi kid at school. The drama freak who makes vlogs in her bedroom.
I'm the hero.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Just because I made it here doesn't mean it was easy. And just because I don't seem overwhelmed doesn't mean I'm not”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“I'm forever observing, trying to learn how to be an adult human being by watching others, and I'm constantly in awe of how easy some people make it look. And then I feel certain something is wrong with me for not being able to do said normal, easy, things with ease”
― Jen Wilde

“I’m a perfectly normal Aspie girl. I just feel broken because I’m trying to fit into a nonautistic world. I’m a square peg trying to squeeze myself into a round hole.”
― Jen Wilde

“So,” I say, tapping my feet on the floor while I sit. I take in a deep breath. “I think I’m gonna enter the SupaFan Contest.” His head snaps up. “Huh?” “I want to enter the contest.” He sits up straight. “You do?” “Yes.” He cocks his head to the side. “What made you change your mind?” I shift awkwardly in my seat, already feeling nervous about my decision. “Talking to Josie.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“I was so nervous about the airport, going through security and doing all that gives me some serious fucking anxiety. ... Everyone seemed so chill.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Anxiety isn’t an attack that explodes out of me; it’s not a volcano that lies dormant until it’s triggered by an earth-shattering event. It’s a constant companion. Like a blowfly that gets into the house in the middle of summer, flying around and around. You can hear it buzzing, but you can’t see it, can’t capture it, can’t let it out. My anxiety is invisible to others, but often it’s the focal point of my mind. Everything that happens on a day-to-day basis is filtered through a lens colored by anxiety. That nervousness that makes your palms sweat and your heart race before you get up and make a speech in front of an audience? That’s what I feel in a normal conversation at a dinner table. Or just thinking about having a conversation at a dinner table. The fear that other people feel on rare occasions, reserved only for when they jump out of a plane or hear a strange noise in the middle of the night—that’s my normal. That’s what I feel when the phone rings. When someone knocks on my door. When I go outside. When I’m alone. When I’m in line at a store. Everything feels like I’m on a stage, spotlight on me, all eyes on me, watching, judging. Like I’m one second away from total disaster. It’s invisible, it’s irrational, it’s never-ending. I could be standing there, smiling and chatting like everything is totally fine, while secretly wanting to scream and cry and run away. No one would ever know. In my mind, no one can hear me scream. I hide it because I know it’s not understood or acceptable—because I’m not understood or acceptable.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Reese, I’m bisexual. Do you believe in me?” He sat up and stared at her like he was suddenly seeing a whole different person. “You? But you’re with me.” “So? I’m still bi.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Love is intense. You break down all your walls to let someone in. But if they’re not good for you, they can tear you up from the inside. And you think what you have together is love, so you let them.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“It's just that I know exactly how that conversation would have gone," I say. "I would've told her I'm too afraid to enter. She would've asked what I'm afraid of. I would've had to bring up the whole social anxiety thing, and she would've either encouraged me to enter anyway, completely disregarding my terror, or she would've nodded and excused herself”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“My newfound and hard-earned freedom had birthed fresh horrors: grief,despair,guilt and trauma.
These were monsters I couldn't not outrun,hide from or battle with and axe.”
― J. M. Wilde, Before It Fades

“Safety,food,health,friends,freedom-did I ever take a moment to be grateful for any of it?I'm sure I would have, had I known it would end so soon.
But now I knew for sure;everything had changed.We were on our own.
No one would be coming to save us.”
― J. M. Wilde, As They Rise

“Anxiety isn’t an attack that explodes out of me; it’s not a volcano that lies dormant until it’s triggered by an earth-shattering event. It’s a constant companion.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Sometimes I see people at the supermarket or somewhere else mundane, smiling and cheerfully making small talk with strangers and not looking tense or uncomfortable at all, and I just want to go up and ask them how they do it. How do they manage to do everything they need to do and go out in the world and be human without feeling the weight of it all crushing them into oblivion?”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“You can’t pick and choose whose equality you support. That’s not equality.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“I don’t even try to hide my smitten grin. “It was amazing.” Tay giggles. “Are you swooning?” She looks up at Jamie, pointing at me. “Is she swooning?” He nods. “She’s swooning.” I shake my head, but it doesn’t shake the smile off my face. “I am not swooning. I do not swoon.” Tay and Jamie glance at each other, then back at me, and both say, “Swooning.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“I need to stop treating other people better than I treat myself. It's killing me.”
― Jen Wilde, The Brightsiders

“Anxiety isn’t an attack that explodes out of me; it’s not a volcano that lies dormant until it’s triggered by an earth-shattering event.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“Jamie walks over, carrying a bag full of comics. “There you are!” I show him Valentina, pointing to the part where it says she’s autistic, and his eyebrows shoot up. “That is so cool.” “This is Josie, remember from the Skyler signing? She created it.” Jamie introduces himself, picks up a copy from the table, and buys it then and there.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“It’s not my job to convince others of who I am. My only job is to be who I am. All I can do is find what makes me happy, and live it.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek

“My anxiety is invisible to others, but often it’s the focal point of my mind. Everything that happens on a day-to-day basis is filtered through a lens colored by anxiety.”
― Jen Wilde, Queens of Geek