Mary McCarthy > Quotes

“We are the hero of our own story.”
― Mary McCarthy

“Every word she writes is a lie, including ‘and’ and ‘the’."
(on Lillian Hellman)”
― Mary McCarthy

“What's the use of falling in love if you both remain inertly as you were?”
― Mary McCarthy, Between Friends: The Correspondence of Hannah Arendt and Mary McCarthy, 1949-1975

“Life is a system of recurrent pairs, the poison and the antidote being eternally packaged together by some considerate heavenly druggist.”
― Mary McCarthy

“I really tried, or so I thought, to avoid lying, but it seemed to me that they forced it on me by the difference in their vision of things, so that I was always transposing reality for them into something they could understand.”
― Mary McCarthy, Memories of a Catholic Girlhood

“In violence we forget who we are.”
― Mary McCarthy

“You mustn’t force sex to do the work of love or love to do the work of sex—that’s quite a thought, isn’t it?”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group:

“We all live in suspense from day to day; in other words you are the hero of your own story.”
― Mary McCarthy

“One of the big features of living alone was that you could talk to yourself all you wanted and address imaginary audiences, running the gamut of emotion.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group:

“There are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those who have perceived them without noticing.”
― Mary McCarthy

“What I really do is take real plums and put them in an imaginary cake.”
― Mary McCarthy

“You can date the evolving life of a mind, like the age of a tree, by the rings of friendship formed by the expanding central trunk.”
― Mary McCarthy, How I Grew

“A novelist is an elephant, but an elephant who must pretend to forget.”
― Mary McCarthy

“She decided she wanted a cool, starchy independent life, with ruffles of humor like window curtains.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“If [she] had come to prefer the company of odd ducks, it was possibly because they had no conception of oddity, or rather, they thought you were odd if you weren't.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“I understand what you are feeling,” he said. “As Socrates showed, love cannot be anything else but the love of the good. But to find the good is very rare. That is why love is rare, in spite of what people think. It happens to one in a thousand, and to that one it is a revelation. No wonder he cannot communicate with the other nine hundred and ninety-nine.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group:

“He would have been far more attractive to her if she could have trusted him. You could not love a man who was always playing hide-and-seek with you; that was the lesson she had learned.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“All I knew that night was that I believed in something and couldn’t express it, while your team believed in nothing but knew how to say it—in other men’s words.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group:

“This humanity we would claim for ourselves is the legacy, not only of the Enlightenment, but of the thousands of European peasants and poor townspeople who came here bringing their humanity and their sufferings with them. It is the absence of a stable upper class that is responsible for much of the vulgarity of the American scene. Should we blush before the visitor for this deficiency? The ugliness of American decoration, American entertainment, American literature - is not this the visible expression of the impoverishment of the European masses, a manifestation of all the backwardness, deprivation, and want that arrived here in boatloads from Europe? The immense popularity of American movies abroad demonstrates that Europe is the unfinished negative of which America is the proof. The European traveler, viewing with distaste a movie palace or a Motorola, is only looking into the terrible concavity of his continent of hunger inverted startlingly into the convex. Our civilization, deformed as it is outwardly, is still an accomplishment; all this had to come to light.”
― Mary McCarthy, A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays

“Love had done this to her, for the second time. Love was bad for her. There must be certain people who were allergic to love, and she was one of them. Not only was it bad for her; it made her bad; it poisoned her. Before she knew him, not only had she been far, far happier but she had been nicer. Loving him was turning her into an awful person, a person she hated.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“He was a thoroughly bad hat, then, but that was the kind, of course, that nice women broke their hearts over.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“His flexible mind extended to take in his opponent's position and then snapped back like an elastic, with the illusion that it had covered ground.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Oasis

“You have to live without love, learn not to need it in order to live with it.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“Luckily, I am writing a memoir and not a work of fiction, and therefore I do not have to account for my grandmother’s unpleasing character and look for the Oedipal fixation or the traumatic experience which would give her that clinical authenticity that is nowadays so desirable in portraiture.”
― Mary McCarthy, Memories of a Catholic Girlhood

“It came to her that he was going to leave without making love to her. This would mean they had made love for the last time this morning. But that did not count: this morning they did not know it was for the last time. When the door shut behind him, she still could not believe it. "It can't end like this," she said to herself over and over, drumming with her knuckles on her mouth to keep from screaming.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“independent working girls out in the world, in pursuit of the kind of adventure that would strengthen, not deplete, us, as we would then be armed with experience.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Oasis

“I felt caught in a dilemma that was new to me then but which since has become horribly familiar: the trap of adult life, in which you are held, wriggling, powerless to act because you can see both sides. On that occasion, as generally in the future, I compromised.”
― Mary McCarthy, Memories of a Catholic Girlhood

“Bureaucracy, the rule of no one, has become the modern form of despotism.”
― Mary McCarthy

“Elinor was always firmly convinced of other people’s hypocrisy since she could not believe that they noticed less than she did.”
― Mary McCarthy, The Group

“She considered [her] life, which had not been a life but only a sort of greeting, a Hello There.”
― Mary McCarthy