Thomas R. Golden > Quotes

“As we have become increasingly technological we have moved farther and farther away from contact with ritual. It is almost as if we assume that we can think our way out of everything, that logic and technology can supply an answer to every problem. We might even tend to see ritual as superstitious or primitive. This scarcity of ritual and ritual elders leaves us in a serious state of affairs when it comes to grief. Most of us are left to our own devices when it comes to healing our grief, without the compassionate guidance of an elder and without the socially- sanctioned mechanisms of ritual.”
― Thomas R. Golden, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing

“When women are stressed they move towards interaction and do what she called  “tend and befriend.”  Males on the other hand, moved towards action (fight) or inaction (flight).”
― Thomas R. Golden, The Way Men Heal

“When a Hindu monk takes his vows, a part of the ceremony is a funeral for his former self. The old self dies. The monk is given a new name in the Swami order, and the date of his initiation is now considered his birthday. He is literally reborn on the day of his initiation, and his former self is considered dead.”
― Thomas R. Golden, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing

“Grief is not a pathological state; it is a normal life event that throws us into instability. This instability also has its own pattern, and if we look hard enough we may get a glimpse of it, a glimpse that shows the intricate pattern of the chaos itself. It is within this pattern that new and deeper parts of ourselves reside. Many times, however, the pattern of chaos is not noticed until years after the grief. The patterns of pain and chaos from our grief are a double- edged sword. They are painful and difficult, bringing chaos into our lives. But they also help us move into a more developed level of functioning.”
― Thomas R. Golden, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing