Mandy De Sandra > Quotes

“No, please Satan! I don’t want to be sex meat!” Kirk screamed.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Jesus’s took his white robe of cheese off his body and showed off his erection. His cock was normal sized but it was a combo of exotic and exquisite cheeses. “I was born in Israel, but my cock is Moroccan, Greek, and French.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Mrs. Sarah Palin, I will tear down your vaginal walls.”
― Mandy De Sandra

“There’s that clerk bitch, I’m gonna make you gay married to my clit, bitch.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black

“Wait, so Jesus was really a gay Ninja?”
― Mandy De Sandra, A Message from the Illuminati to Mark Dice, & Other Gay Stories

“The color of the vagina is not meant to be on the head, it’s meant to be between the legs of a healthy God-fearing woman.”
― Mandy De Sandra, A Message from the Illuminati to Mark Dice, & Other Gay Stories

“Fellas. Those are some nice guns. The Second Amendment is as American as yummy apple pie and after you are drenched in my semen you will taste just as delicious.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Ravished By Reagansaurus

“I do support violence and I like the idea of breaking stuff, but I don’t trust anything that comes from the Buddhists. We all know they are homosexuals who like to do weird things with their rice. Butt stuff. They cook rice and eat it out of their butts. That is a common fact.”
― Mandy De Sandra, A Message from the Illuminati to Mark Dice, & Other Gay Stories

“As I walk through the valley of death, and we meet the Reagansaurus worshipers, I pray to vanquish evil but forgive those who trespass against America. And those who fornicate on their food, may they choke on the love that is God, for He loved the world so much that He gave His only begotten son. In Jesus’s name we pray for protection. Amen.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Ravished By Reagansaurus

“The 69ing Boners stopped sucking each other’s cocks and followed the lead of Cheese Jesus.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“You better not masturbate to my bowel movements or rape me.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black

“Don’t move boy. Lord Jesus … this ain’t right. Oh my Lord. You’re a damn faggot whacking it to a man of God. Blasphemy! And he is a friend of mine. Good man too, that Kirk Cameron. Brought me to the Lord … holy hell … you got your sperm on Jesus and Mr. Cameron … you’re of the devil!”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Put some tongue in there girl, this ain’t the WB, this is pussy licking OZ Kim Davis.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black

“But Jesus now was a six-foot piece of sexy Cheese.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Oh Jesus!” George W. Bush said. “It buakkaked on the door!”
― Mandy De Sandra, Ravished By Reagansaurus

“She always saw marriage as something like, not farting in front of people, or always remembering to shut the light off—a good idea but impossible to do.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black

“The Reagansaurus didn’t flinch and said, “Fellas. Those are some nice guns. The Second Amendment is as American as yummy apple pie and after you are drenched in my semen you will taste just as delicious.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Ravished By Reagansaurus

“I love being cheese more then wafers and wine my son,” Jesus Cheese said to Kirk.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Nah, hoe, she is gonna be too busy tossing my salad. You can say your prayers girl when I’m sitting on your face … cause you know …” another woman said and then began to sing, “My neck, my back, lick pussy and my crack, oh shit, my neck back, that white bitch is gonna lick my ass.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black

“Kirk smelled the intoxicating aroma of Cheese Jesus. He tried so hard to be good. So hard to prove his love of Christ, but here he was with his God as his most favorite food.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Without a god to judge him, sucking a Crocoduck was not a sin, but a celebration of life.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick

“Mrs. Sarah Palin. I will tear down your vaginal walls.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Ravished By Reagansaurus

“No. I can’t have a lesbian with me. That is worse than a well-endowed girl-man.”
― Mandy De Sandra, Kentucky Fried Prison Sex: Rainbows are the New Black