Ian Schrauth > Quotes

“Fuck you!”
“When, where, what time, and what position?”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“PANERA! NOT BREADCO!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“Ha, Ha. Quit being a smart ass. Seriously. You sound dull.”
― Ian Schrauth, Vacillating Brown and Black: Vol. 1

“Same with Market America, but we won’t get into the CEO yelling at a tombstone at a conference telling him ‘get up! I have an opportunity for you!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“To make a short story even shorter, don’t do Amway…or any MLM.”
― Ian Schrauth, The American Way: The Good, the bad, and the lies I've learned from being an Amway IBO

“Yes, single cat lady.”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“I lost the boy I used to love! Now he’s gone!”
― Ian Schrauth, Vacillating brown and Black: Vol. 3

“I tell you what, Hayden. You’re hot stuff!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“You Probably came under that table three times! And only ONCE with your hand!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“99.6% of people had a bad experience?”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“It smells like…” I started to say and smelt it again. “A farm….”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“He slammed the back of the plastic chair and stormed off. “Nobody wants to join your fucking pyramid scheme!!!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“Damn daddy, quack quack!”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“I thought I was done…Not until this shit started…”
― Ian Schrauth, Vacillating Brown and Black: Vol. 1

“Was she drunk PREPARING for the party?”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs

“DOUBLE FUCK!”
― Ian Schrauth, Vacillating brown and Black: Vol. 3

“Only if you stop being so negative and let me devour you.”
― Ian Schrauth, The Opportunity: A Novella

“God damn, boy, can you sit down a little harder?”
― Ian Schrauth, Vacillating Brown and Black: Vol. 1

“You wanna bust this nut while you’re at it?”
― Ian Schrauth, The Girl With the Fangs