Ian Tuhovsky > Quotes

“A loser is someone who, after making a mistake, doesn’t introspect, doesn’t exploit it, feels embarrassed and defensive rather than enriched with a new piece of information, and tries to explain why he made the mistake rather than moving on.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“The number one reason difficult people are difficult is because it’s working for them.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“The problem is that you THINK that you have to be motivated to do something, instead of just doing it and then having it done. Tip: The willingness to do things comes with action. Don’t wait until you feel like going to the gym and exercising. Start exercising right away and there’s a huge possibility that you’ll feel the desire to continue.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Don’t treat people the way you like to be treated, treat them the way THEY want to be treated. That’s a big rapport take-away to remember!”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“As humans, we look for patterns everywhere, and the greatest patterns we build are the ones we make ourselves. We are more swayed by a compelling story than by reality.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Critical Thinking: Think Clearly in a World of Agendas, Bad Science, and Information Overload

“you break a negative feedback loop by giving it a positive input instead, it will spin into a positive feedback loop. That creates a kind of snowball effect, which takes on a life of its own. Make a small, incremental change today, and it will gather momentum the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that… until you’re surprised at what you’ve accomplished.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“I’m committed to never listening to anybody when it comes to my own path and happiness.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Buddhism: Beginner's Guide: Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Everyday Life

“Social smile. Research shows that we laugh more often when we’re in the company of other people rather than when we are alone. Robert Provine says that only 15% of our laughter comes from the amusement of jokes! There is wisdom to that—so many times I barely smiled when reading a joke alone at home, but when I heard the same joke while with a group of people, I cried out loud with unstoppable laughter. It turns out that laughter has an important social function; it’s the way to forge relationships. Conclusions?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“If you believe that the world is a cruel and insidious place, you will behave like that is the absolute and only truth.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“Your mind shapes your action in the world, which in turn defines the contour and direction of your life.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Mindfulness: The Most Effective Techniques: Connect With Your Inner Self To Reach Your Goals Easily and Peacefully

“Every single negative emotion is an arrow sign pointing towards a problem which needs your attention”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ

“When psychotherapists studying the art of achievement analyzed the language and thought patterns of the most successful people, they discovered a very interesting thing.  Those people never talked about having to do something - they talked about making certain choices, because even if someone puts a gun to your head, you still do have a choice. It can be a crappy choice, but you have it. In this case you can either do what they tell you to do or you can ignore them.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“All of these things that we have been looking for in other places have been available all along, closer than we thought.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Poor communicators think that “listening” is merely the act of waiting for their turn to speak all while mentally composing their response. This is a grave mistake. Listening is so much more – it’s a way of providing someone else the chance to share their thoughts and ideas, to build emotional intimacy, and to show empathy.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, 21 Days of Effective Communication: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Improve Your Communication Skills and Social Intelligence

“Stress in the mind has an effect on the body because it causes us to physically be in a “survival mode.” This can cause serious physical problems over time because we were not designed to function in fight or flight mode on an everyday basis.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Meditation: Beginner's Guide: How to Meditate (As An Ordinary Person!) to Relieve Stress, Keep Calm and be Successful

“Honestly realize and accept the fact that everything is not within your control.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Disconnect your behavior from your emotional life. That’s what Zen teaches us.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Suppressed emotions always manage to find their way out eventually7. To”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“If you’re not 100% committed to what you do (even if it’s just your chore which you have to do), then why do anything at all?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Fear is a powerful motivator and is one of the many emotions that guides our choices in our daily life. One of the bonuses of critical thinking is making choices based on rationale and facts, not just emotion. Science does not say God does not exist, it says that it is not yet proven. This can be frustrating for people who have a more emotional approach to life and a static understanding of the world, but critical thinking challenges us to keep questioning so that our world view stays dynamic.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Critical Thinking: Think Clearly in a World of Agendas, Bad Science, and Information Overload

“We are getting richer, but less and less happy. Depression, suicide, relationship breakdowns, loneliness of choice, fear of closeness, addictions - this is the clear evidence we are getting increasingly worse when it comes to dealing with our emotions.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ

“Also, stop correcting people all the time, preaching to them and commenting on all the subjects you have no idea about.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“De-clutter your life by getting rid of unnecessary commitments.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“If you don’t take things personally, you can’t even complain.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Do unto your future self as you would do unto your present self.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“hone”
― Ian Tuhovsky, 21 Days of Effective Communication: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Improve Your Communication Skills and Social Intelligence

“Recognize what is happening. Allow life to be just as it is. Investigate inner experience with kindness. Non-identification.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Mindfulness: The Most Effective Techniques: Connect With Your Inner Self To Reach Your Goals Easily and Peacefully

“If you can’t defend your own beliefs, WHY on earth would you stick to them?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Buddhism: Beginner's Guide: Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Everyday Life

“Another interesting concept for you - life is just a game. Buddhism teaches us than nothing is truly real and this world is an illusion of our own perception, as we are too limited to fully see the world as it is. So the game is played both externally and internally - inside of you.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Before you even think about your responses to other people, you need to sharpen your listening skills. Have you ever had a conversation with someone whose body is there, but their mind is not? Frustrating, isn’t it?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, 21 Days of Effective Communication: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Improve Your Communication Skills and Social Intelligence