Ian Tuhovsky > Quotes

“The number one reason difficult people are difficult is because it’s working for them.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“A loser is someone who, after making a mistake, doesn’t introspect, doesn’t exploit it, feels embarrassed and defensive rather than enriched with a new piece of information, and tries to explain why he made the mistake rather than moving on.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“The problem is that you THINK that you have to be motivated to do something, instead of just doing it and then having it done. Tip: The willingness to do things comes with action. Don’t wait until you feel like going to the gym and exercising. Start exercising right away and there’s a huge possibility that you’ll feel the desire to continue.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Don’t treat people the way you like to be treated, treat them the way THEY want to be treated. That’s a big rapport take-away to remember!”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“As humans, we look for patterns everywhere, and the greatest patterns we build are the ones we make ourselves. We are more swayed by a compelling story than by reality.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Critical Thinking: Think Clearly in a World of Agendas, Bad Science, and Information Overload

“you break a negative feedback loop by giving it a positive input instead, it will spin into a positive feedback loop. That creates a kind of snowball effect, which takes on a life of its own. Make a small, incremental change today, and it will gather momentum the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that… until you’re surprised at what you’ve accomplished.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“Social smile. Research shows that we laugh more often when we’re in the company of other people rather than when we are alone. Robert Provine says that only 15% of our laughter comes from the amusement of jokes! There is wisdom to that—so many times I barely smiled when reading a joke alone at home, but when I heard the same joke while with a group of people, I cried out loud with unstoppable laughter. It turns out that laughter has an important social function; it’s the way to forge relationships. Conclusions?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“If you believe that the world is a cruel and insidious place, you will behave like that is the absolute and only truth.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“I’m committed to never listening to anybody when it comes to my own path and happiness.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Buddhism: Beginner's Guide: Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Everyday Life

“Suppressed emotions always manage to find their way out eventually7. To”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“When psychotherapists studying the art of achievement analyzed the language and thought patterns of the most successful people, they discovered a very interesting thing.  Those people never talked about having to do something - they talked about making certain choices, because even if someone puts a gun to your head, you still do have a choice. It can be a crappy choice, but you have it. In this case you can either do what they tell you to do or you can ignore them.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Stress in the mind has an effect on the body because it causes us to physically be in a “survival mode.” This can cause serious physical problems over time because we were not designed to function in fight or flight mode on an everyday basis.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Meditation: Beginner's Guide: How to Meditate (As An Ordinary Person!) to Relieve Stress, Keep Calm and be Successful

“Honestly realize and accept the fact that everything is not within your control.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Disconnect your behavior from your emotional life. That’s what Zen teaches us.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Your mind shapes your action in the world, which in turn defines the contour and direction of your life.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Mindfulness: The Most Effective Techniques: Connect With Your Inner Self To Reach Your Goals Easily and Peacefully

“All of these things that we have been looking for in other places have been available all along, closer than we thought.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Stop for a Moment One of the most basic and crucial things to do, which most people aren’t doing in conversations, is to PAUSE before replying. A short pause (2-5 seconds) after a person stops talking is a very smart and savvy thing to do. When you pause, you accomplish three goals at the same time. First of all, you avoid the risk of interrupting if the person is just taking a breath before continuing. The second benefit is that you show the other person that you’re taking careful consideration by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The last benefit is that you actually hear the other person better. The words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what they are really saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a great person to talk to. Ask for Clarification”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“If you’re not 100% committed to what you do (even if it’s just your chore which you have to do), then why do anything at all?”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“Everyone is right according to their own map of the world.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“Fear is a powerful motivator and is one of the many emotions that guides our choices in our daily life. One of the bonuses of critical thinking is making choices based on rationale and facts, not just emotion. Science does not say God does not exist, it says that it is not yet proven. This can be frustrating for people who have a more emotional approach to life and a static understanding of the world, but critical thinking challenges us to keep questioning so that our world view stays dynamic.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Critical Thinking: Think Clearly in a World of Agendas, Bad Science, and Information Overload

“Also, stop correcting people all the time, preaching to them and commenting on all the subjects you have no idea about.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“De-clutter your life by getting rid of unnecessary commitments.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)

“This change of beliefs or way of seeing your experiences will allow you to filter reality completely differently. The assumption that a map is not actual terrain is extremely helpful in social interactions and building relationships with people. Now, before you judge someone's behavior, you will remember that it comes from a different map of the reality that person has. If you want to create a strong relationship with another person, first get to know their map and then try to empathize with it. You will be able to understand their emotions, needs, behaviors and experiences at a much deeper level. This”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“We are getting richer, but less and less happy. Depression, suicide, relationship breakdowns, loneliness of choice, fear of closeness, addictions - this is the clear evidence we are getting increasingly worse when it comes to dealing with our emotions.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ

“Every single negative emotion is an arrow sign pointing towards a problem which needs your attention”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ

“Toastmasters club or some other public speaking or acting classes. There are lots of these activities you can find and join on sites like meetup.com and many different places online. Don’t think twice, these skillsets are really useful in everyday life, business and your career and”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“Do unto your future self as you would do unto your present self.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

“There are your ambitions and expectations, and most importantly, your beliefs about the world. They create the way in which you see the world, your own life, opportunities and relationships with other people. If you believe that the world is a cruel and insidious place, you will behave like that is the absolute and only truth. It will give you a lot of unpleasant emotions and experiences. If your belief is that the world is a wonderful and beautiful place full of helpful people, your thoughts, emotions, self-talk, relationships and entire life will be totally different.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

“Poor communicators think that “listening” is merely the act of waiting for their turn to speak all while mentally composing their response. This is a grave mistake. Listening is so much more – it’s a way of providing someone else the chance to share their thoughts and ideas, to build emotional intimacy, and to show empathy.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, 21 Days of Effective Communication: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Improve Your Communication Skills and Social Intelligence

“If you don’t take things personally, you can’t even complain.”
― Ian Tuhovsky, Zen: Beginner's Guide: Happy, Peaceful and Focused Lifestyle for Everyone (Buddhism, Meditation, Mindfulness, Success)