Garry Crystal > Quotes

“Well the other thing about lying is that the liar is banking on two things when telling the lie. They are hoping that the person being lied to is gullible enough to believe, and it’s also not even that they think they are gullible, it’s that they know the person they are lying to well enough that they know the person won’t push it any further because they know the person they are lying to wants to believe the lie.”
― Garry Crystal, And When the Arguing's Over...: Contemporary One Act Plays

“Well, you may think you have all your ducks in a row, that your life is sorted. You might have the perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect life, nothing to worry about and then something can come along and end all of that in a second. It’s absolutely beyond your control. You can’t plan for unexpected things. And then people start saying, as a way of coping with this latest catastrophe, that it was meant to happen, it was fate. It’s not fate, it’s not some greater force out there. It’s just life and you cannot control life.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“Addiction is a battle between love and hate. My therapist was right about that.”
― Garry Crystal, Red Lights

“If you aren’t paranoid before you arrive in this city, give it a few weeks and you will soon notice it creeping in, dripping into your subconscious like a leaky tap. The trick is not to give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about you, and if you are in the right frame of mind this can be an easy trick to perform but if not you’ll soon notice that for a city full of people who do a great Stevie Wonder impersonation when it comes to the homeless and beggars and casual violence towards others, wearing the wrong kind of shoes or a cheap suit brings out a sneering, hateful attitude that can have weaker minded individuals locked in their houses for weeks before harassing their doctors for prescriptions of Prozac and Beta blockers just to make it out the front door.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“The thing about lying is it’s like creating your own world, controlling your own little world. A tiny innocent, or as some people call them white lie, can lead eventually to the break-up of a relationship. If the other person in the relationship knows the person has lied, no matter if it was with good intentions, then it’s the beginning of the breakdown of trust. A profile or a picture is being continually formed of the two people in a relationship, and the lies, big and small, add to that profile.”
― Garry Crystal, And When the Arguing's Over...: Contemporary One Act Plays

“We find ways of protecting ourselves, of shifting blame, of burying emotions until the dam bursts and the weight of guilt and regret acts as an anchor, pulling us under. And it’s at that point we make the decision, the choice, to simply give in and allow that weight to become the one thing above all else that defines us.”
― Garry Crystal, Red Lights

“I probably would be slightly offended and I’d probably spend a few hours wondering why you wanted me to leave, and I’d probably come to the conclusion that you just wanted a one-night thing. Then I’d think some more about it and I’d probably think that you were pretty rude and was it really such a hardship to speak to me for a while after we’d exchanged bodily fluids? But then I’d come to the conclusion that you were maybe just an asshole and there are plenty of them about, so I would simply end up forgetting about it, because life’s too short.”
― Garry Crystal, And When the Arguing's Over...: Contemporary One Act Plays

“Your problem is that you’re more like an empty book and you’re waiting on someone else to write your pages for you. For someone who doesn’t believe in fate, destiny and all that shit, you seem to spend an awful lot of time waiting for something to happen to you.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“Sure I’m alone but I don’t feel lonely. Some people regard loneliness as a disease and to be honest, this is the first time in years I have been totally alone. No girl around to put my hand under her chin in the dead of night or feel her warm breath against my cheek in the morning when I awake. But this is just a temporary loneliness, a mild winter cold. The disease only becomes terminal when you no longer realise you’re alone, when you’ve become used to the silence and look forward to it when you get home at night. When you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be loved and in love and when you've given up on trying, that's when you’re in trouble.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“There was nothing else, there was nothing after, and the people who did believe in the great afterlife were just terrified children looking for the happy ending to a fairy-tale, a fairy–tale that contained more darkness than light, and the closer to the end they came the more terrified they became that there would be no light at the end of the story.”
― Garry Crystal, Red Lights

“Maybe she has a wrinkle on her face in just the right place and I find it attractive. Maybe she says all of her statements as questions and I find that endearing. Maybe she swallows instead of spits or maybe I was just looking for a way to kill time with someone new over the next five years. The reasons why don’t matter.”
― Garry Crystal, The Paris Quartet : Short Stories For the End of the World

“Safe sex? Does such a thing exist?”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“You can see the people who thought they could come to London, bend over and pick gold off the streets. They’re all lying on benches in Trafalgar Square with hernias and cans of Special Brew.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“You don’t have to believe in karma, (I didn’t). But you can bet your ass that karma will have been keeping an eye on you.”
― Garry Crystal, Leaving London

“Even hell will give you an incentive not to reach for heaven.”
― Garry Crystal, And When the Arguing's Over...: Contemporary One Act Plays