Jim Tilberry > Quotes

“Vegan – Someone who does not eat or drink any animal products, wear any animal products, look at pictures of animals, watch television shows with animals on them, or dream about animals”
― Jim Tilberry, Revenge of the Vegetarian: A Humorous Spin on the World of Vegetarianism

“Strict Vegetarian – One who doesn’t let his daughter date until she is 25”
― Jim Tilberry, Revenge of the Vegetarian: A Humorous Spin on the World of Vegetarianism

“Mahatma Gandhi   Patricia Van Winkle:  I understand you were a passionate vegetarian.   Mahatma Gandhi:  Being an Indian and vegetarian is not a big a deal.  There must be a gazillion of us.  Of course most of us have a loving respect for all animals.  And many of us believe in reincarnation.  You never know -- that cow I see on the street could have been my Grandma Nana in another lifetime.  So when I saw someone eating meat, I’d get extremely pissed off and just want to punch their lights out.  Then I’d tell myself “Chill, Mohandas.  You’re supposed to be a non-violent pacifist.”
― Jim Tilberry, Revenge of the Vegetarian: A Humorous Spin on the World of Vegetarianism

“Socrates   Patricia Van Winkle: How did you get started on a vegetarian diet?   Socrates: Does the man choose a diet or does a diet choose the man?   Van Winkle:  Hmm. . . OK.  So you say that people are closely linked to vegetables.  Can you elaborate?   Socrates:  A human being in reality is just a human bean.   Van Winkle:  I’m not quite following you.  How so?   Socrates:  If you take away its leg, a legume is just u and me.   Van Winkle:  Alright.  I think I see where you’re going with that.  And how would you say a vegetarian diet affected you?   Socrates:  If you eat a meal of meat, you will be happy for 30 minutes.  If you eat a meal of vegetables you will be happy for 30 years.  (Pause) Unless some shithead gives you hemlock and tells you it’s a V8.”
― Jim Tilberry, Revenge of the Vegetarian: A Humorous Spin on the World of Vegetarianism