Kevin Smith > Quotes

“Controversial' as we all know, is often a euphemism for 'interesting and intelligent.”
― Kevin Smith

“Remember: It costs nothing to encourage an artist, and the potential benefits are staggering. A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you love to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“BRODIE:

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for SEGA.”
― Kevin Smith, Mallrats

“AZRAEL:

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.”
― Kevin Smith

“I'm not even supposed to be here today.”
― Kevin Smith

“More often than not, a hero’s most epic battle is the one you never see; it’s the battle that goes on within him or herself.”
― Kevin Smith

“In the face of such hopelessness as our eventual, unavoidable death, there is little sense in not at least trying to accomplish all of your wildest dreams in life.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Why take life seriously? No one gets out alive anyways.”
― Kevin Smith, Degrassi Generations: The Official 411

“My Father taught me how to be a man – and not by instilling in me a sense of machismo or an agenda of dominance. He taught me that a real man doesn’t take, he gives; he doesn’t use force, he uses logic; doesn’t play the role of trouble-maker, but rather, trouble-shooter; and most importantly, a real man is defined by what’s in his heart, not his pants.”
― Kevin Smith

“If you're alive, kick into drive. Chase whimsies. See if you can turn dreams into a way to make a living, if not an entire way of life.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Only someone who doesn’t understand art tells an artist their art somehow failed. How the fuck can art fail? Art can’t be graded, because it’s going to mean something different to everyone. You can’t apply a mathematical absolute to art because there is no one formula for self-expression.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Stop…stop, that’s the next generation of fans… How dare you pass judgment on those 12-year-old girls who like vampires! They need to be encouraged because in six years they’ll be 18-year-old girls who like vampires and are into all sorts of goth-permissive and whatnot. Don’t Poo-poo it. There’s a plan, and it’s working.”
― Kevin Smith

“There's a trick to being whatever you want to be in life. It starts with the simple belief that you are what or who you say you are.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“As human beings we govern our actions with our deepest fears. But if you name that shit, you claim that shit: let enough people into your closet and you'll find there's no more room for skeletons. Leave yourself nowhere to hide and you can live your life unguarded.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“GOD DOESN’T HATE FAGS OR
ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.
GOD SAVES! THEN, GOD PASSES IT
TO GRETZKY - WHO ROOFS THAT
SHIT, TOP-SHELF! THEN GOD AND
GRETZKY HIGH FIVE & BELLY-BUMP,
CELEBRATING THEIR HOCKEY
PROWESS. AND NEVER ONCE DO
THEY GIVE A SHIT IF ANYBODY’S
GAY OR NOT.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“There's a trick to being whatever you want to be in life. It starts with the simple belief that you are what or who you say you are. It starts, like all faiths, with a belief-a belief predicated more on whimsy than reality. And you've gotta believe for everybody else, too-until you can show them proof. If you're lucky, someone starts believing with you-first theoretically, then in practice. And two people believing are the start of a congregation. You build a congregation of believers and eventually you set out to craft a cathedral. Sometimes it's just a church; sometimes it turns out to be a chapel. Folks who don't build churches will try to tell you how you're doing it wrong, even as your steeple breaks the clouds. Never listen.”
― Kevin Smith

“You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. (As Silent Bob)”
― Kevin Smith

“A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you loved to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever.”
― Kevin Smith

“Happiness can’t be bottled. It can’t be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.”
― Kevin Smith

“We can’t all be Superman, but we sure as shit can train hard, and with loads of practice, we can be Batman. And who the fuck doesn’t wanna be Batman? Batman has an impeccable moral compass, he’s clever and mysterious, and when fucktards get sassy, he punches them in the face.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Batman has an impeccable moral compass, he’s clever and mysterious, and when fucktards get sassy, he punches them in the face.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Don’t be afraid to do weird stuff, so long as you do it cheaply and cover everyone’s bets. Be bold. Be stupid, if you have to: so long as you don’t hurt anybody, what’s it matter how dopey your dream is? If I hadn’t made TUSK? If I’d let it die as a podcast? I wouldn’t have three other movies I’m now making within the span of a year. Some folks will try to shame you for trying something outside the norm; the only shame is in not trying to accomplish your dreams.”
― Kevin Smith

“People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a movie is only dirty if it makes you want to have sex more. If it makes you feel sick, disgusted, ashamed of your own body, then it's not a dirty movie at all. It's a Catholic movie. And I make very Catholic movies.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“It's a joyful thing, being a Catholic. I can't even think about sex without thinking about bodily waste.”
― Kevin Smith

“Life is also, as George Carlin taught us, a zero-sum game. We all lose in the end. We all die screaming. If that’s the case, we might as well make for ourselves a paradise in this world. Make yourself happy and comfortable as often as you can, because sooner or later, the infinite hands you a bill for all these goods and services. What”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.

- Rufus, Dogma”
― Kevin Smith, Dogma

“My American Dream has always been simple, and it’s one I encourage you to adopt as your own: Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“I don't have to write to South West buddy. In an hour South West gonna come looking for me!”
― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

“Brodie Bruce:

I LOVE THE SMELL OF COMMERCE IN THE MORNING!”
― Kevin Smith

“I don't hate you 'cause I'm crazy... I'm crazy 'cause I hate you.”
― Kevin Smith, Batman: Cacophony