Daniel Gottlieb > Quotes

“The truth is, if we become comfortable with who we are rather than who we think we should be, then we will be less insecure.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Learning from the Heart: Lessons on Living, Loving, and Listening

“Two waves in the ocean are talking to each other. The front wave tells the second that it's frightened because it is about to crash into the shore and cease to exist. But the second wave shows no fear. It explains to the first: "You are frightened because you think you are a wave; I am not frightened because know I am part of the ocean.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“The story of Pi is the story of all of us. We all have tigers under our tarpaulins - tigers that, we feel, could destroy us. We think we want to be rid of our tigers. But the truth is, we would feel a great loss if they ran away, because ultimately, each tiger is part of us.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“Missing feels like a sad spot in my heart...Missing means I love her.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“That’s what happens in our hearts. The holes do not disappear, but scar tissue grows and becomes part of who we are. The same takes place in nature. As the famous Spanish architect Antoni Gaudi observed, 'There are no straight lines or sharp corners in nature.' The most stable structures in nature— like trees or spiderwebs— have angular and curved lines. As our hearts grow larger, and we learn that scar tissue is not so ugly after all, we accommodate what we had thought would be unendurable. And we realize that the wisdom we have gained would not have been possible without the losses we have known, even those that seemed impossible to bear.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, The Wisdom We're Born with: Restoring Our Faith in Ourselves

“So many of us suffer because we are trying to live the life we once had or the life we wish for. Life is much sweeter when we live the life we have”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“When we stop fighting against death, we are able to wake up to our lives.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“إني أؤمن بأن العالم ربما يكون مكاناً أكثر أماناً إذا أضاء كل من يشعربالضعف أنوار التحذير، التي تقول: "لديَّ مشكلة، وأبذل ما بوسعي”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“Last month, on a very windy day, I was returning from a lecture I had given to a group in Fort Washington. I was beginning to feel unwell. I was feeling increasing spasms in my legs and back and became anxious as I anticipated a difficult ride back to my office. Making matters worse, I knew I had to travel two of the most treacherous high-speed roads near Philadelphia – the four-lane Schuylkill Expressway and the six-lane Blue Route.

You’ve been in my van, so you know how it’s been outfitted with everything I need to drive. But you probably don’t realize that I often drive more slowly than other people. That’s because I have difficulty with body control. I’m especially careful on windy days when the van can be buffeted by sudden gusts. And if I’m having problems with spasms or high blood pressure, I stay way over in the right hand lane and drive well below the speed limit.

When I’m driving slowly, people behind me tend to get impatient. They speed up to my car, blow their horns, drive by, stare at me angrily, and show me how long their fingers can get. (I don't understand why some people are so proud of the length of their fingers, but there are many things I don't understand.) Those angry drivers add stress to what already is a stressful experience of driving.

On this particular day, I was driving by myself. At first, I drove slowly along back roads. Whenever someone approached, I pulled over and let them pass. But as I neared the Blue Route, I became more frightened. I knew I would be hearing a lot of horns and seeing a lot of those long fingers.

And then I did something I had never done in the twenty-four years that I have been driving my van. I decided to put on my flashers. I drove the Blue Route and the Schuylkyll Expressway at 35 miles per hour.

Now…Guess what happened?

Nothing! No horns and no fingers.

But why?

When I put on my flashers, I was saying to the other drivers, “I have a problem here – I am vulnerable and doing the best I can.” And everyone understood. Several times, in my rearview mirror I saw drivers who wanted to pass. They couldn’t get around me because of the stream of passing traffic. But instead of honking or tailgating, they waited for the other cars to pass, knowing the driver in front of them was in some way weak.

Sam, there is something about vulnerability that elicits compassion. It is in our hard wiring. I see it every day when people help me by holding doors, pouring cream in my coffee, or assist me when I put on my coat. Sometimes I feel sad because from my wheelchair perspective, I see the best in people. But those who appear strong and invulnerably typically are not exposed to the kindness I see daily.

Sometimes situations call for us to act strong and brave even when we don't feel that way. But those are a few and far between. More often, there is a better pay-off if you don't pretend you feel strong when you feel weak, or pretend that you are brave when you’re scared. I really believe the world might be a safer place if everyone who felt vulnerable wore flashers that said, “I have a problem and I’m doing the best I can. Please be patient!”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“Hope is always about the future. And it isn't always good news. Sometimes, hope can imprison us with belief or expectation that something will happen in the future to change our lives. Similarly hopelessness isn't always about despair. Hopelessness can bring us right into this very moment and answer all of life's most difficult questions. Who am I? Where am I? What does this mean? And what now?”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“A Buddhist teacher once said that a poisonous snake is only poisonous when you walk toward it.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“بمرور الوقت، سيقل حنينك لما كنت تمتلكه بالأمس وتعتاد ما تملكه اليوم أكثر.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“عندما ينزل بك البلاء، اقترب من الناس الذين يحبونك والذين يمكنهم تحمل آلامك دون أن يلقوا على مسامعك بالنصائح والآراء.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“Like all buses, it comes when it comes. You can wait with frustations, angers or feeling of victimhoods or you can wait with patience and relaxation, either way, it won't make the bus come any way faster”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“تبدأ الغيرة عند الشعور بعدم الأمان”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“We work so hard to avoid death because life is precious. That is why we clutch to this life so tightly. That's why we have so much anxiety, even anger, when something threatens us or our loved ones. But here's the contradiction: If you work TOO HARD to avoid death, then you're not going to have time to feel how precious life really is. You won't be able to feel it. You'll know it in your head but not in your heart.”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“the wall is there to teach us.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“إن الآباء لا يتوقفون أبدا عن الأبوّة، ونحن نرى دائما مستقبلنا من خلال أعينهم. يمكننا أن نعتني بهم بأن نكون صرحاء وأن نذكرهم بأهمية المتعة. وأحيانًا تكون أفضل طريقة ليعتنوا بنا هي أن يعتنوا بأنفسهم”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“بتقدمنا في العمر، تفقد بعض خصائصنا قوتها، مثلما تفقد الحجارة حوافها الحادة جراء هطول مياه الشلالات عليها. وقد نفقد أيضاً جزءا من الحكمة العظيمة التي ولدنا بها. لكن أثر هذه الحكمة يظل موجودا معنا، أمام أعيننا.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“Giving to others is most precious when it is done quietly and selflessly.

Righteous indignation is like candy when you’re starving. It feels good, but it doesn’t sustain you very long.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters To Sam: a grandfather's letters to his grandson on love, loss and the gifts of life

“What you are about, is more important than who you are”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“إننا نحارب الموت لأن لكل منا دافعًا شديد القوة للبقاء.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“علمتني الكتب القليل عن علم النفس ، لكن الإعاقة علمتنى الجلوس ساكنا وأن أفتح أذنى وقلبي حتى أستمع”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“إن الطريق الوحيد لتجد خريطة طريق جديدة هو أن تكون مستعدا للبحث فى الظلام”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“عندما ينفطر القلب لما فقده ، تبتهج الروح لما اكتسبته”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“يأتي الأمن الحقيقي عندما نرتاح لحقيقتنا (ويعزز هذا الشعور أن نكون في علاقة مبنية على الحب والتفاهم المتبادل). السعادة هي منتج جانبي للحياة التي نحياها.”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

“اعترافك بجهلك أفضل بكثير من التظاهر بالمعرفة”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“مخاوفنا ظلالنا ، هناك أجزاء فينا لا نستطيع التعامل معها ، لكن هذه الظلال جزء منا”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“كبرياءنا يصور لنا أننا مركز الكون”
― Daniel Gottlieb

“Learn to tolerate your own different-ness from other people and learn to navigate your own waters”
― Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life