Hanne Arts's Blog

Have you been following my content and wondering if working together could actually help you rediscover freedom and gain your life back?  
Maybe you’ve tried piecing together advice on your own, but it still feels like something is missing?
Honestly, I know how overwhelming it can feel to want to break free from the eating disorder, to reengage with life, and not know where to begin. The internet is full of advice—but let’s be real…  
What you need is a clear, step-by-step plan, proven tools, and the confidence that you’re on the right path.  And, no, I'm not talking about a £1,000,000 7-day bootcamp or a £1,000,000,000 per hour coaching trajectory. Let's be real here.  
You need this action plan, these proven tools, and the ability to acquire them at your own pace, in a safe environment, and without needing to sacrifice an arm, a leg and a kidney to finance this support.  
That’s exactly why I created Reset & Recover, kicking off February 17th.
If you’ve been spinning your wheels, trying to figure out what’s missing or why things aren’t working, Reset & Recover is your opportunity to stop guessing and start doing. With confidence.  
I'm sharing the EXACT toolbox I use with my private recovery clients, so you can start making real progress toward your goals NOW.
With Reset & Recover: 
❌ You don’t have to navigate recovery alone. ❌ You don’t have to settle for a one-size-fits-all approach. ❌ You don’t have to sell an arm, a leg and a kidney to take care of your health.  
Instead, Reset & Recover allows you to: 
✅ Feel supported in a like-minded community. ✅ Get ALL your questions answered. ✅ Navigate recovery in a way that works for YOU.  
The best part? You’re in control.  The even better part? You can dip your toe in... completely free!


For a limited time, as the program kicks off, I'll be offering 7-day free trials!  
Within your free trial, you get the chance to test the waters. You have the opportunity to connect with others, get your questions answered, and make the most of all of the existing content on the forum. It’s a low-risk, high-reward way to see what working together feels like—no guesswork, no overwhelm, just clarity and results.  
Here’s what you’ll get:  
✅ Complete recovery course with 11 recovery-supporting modules (including plenty of reflections and exercises) to learn more and acquire all the tools.  
✅ Personalized support and guidance to shape your recovery plans, answer your questions, and ensure your body is getting exactly what it needs to heal.  
✅ Monthly challenges and Coffee & Chat Q&A.  
✅ Community forum to share wins, ask questions, and engage with others.  
✅ 24/7 group and private messaging support, so you never have to troubleshoot your challenges, celebrate your wins, and push through roadblocks on your own.  
✅ Full Recipe Database & Recovery Meal Support Guide.  
✅ Live one-to-one and group coaching sessions for accountability, motivation and support.   
✅ Exclusive access and discounts to one-to-one sessions, new programs and resources.  
By the end of the week, you’ll have a clear picture of your next steps—whether that’s continuing on your own or joining Reset & Recover fully for deeper support.  

If you’re ready to take this first step toward getting your life back and regaining freedom, don’t wait. Free trials are opening up TOMORROW and spaces will be filling quickly! ⏰ 


>> Secure your FREE TRIAL here <<

Having seen the incredible benefits Reset & Recover has brought to others, I honestly feel so blessed to be running it again, in this format!   
If you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to take this step, this is it. It's time to fight for full and lasting recovery as we head into the New Year!  
PS- Not sure if Reset & Recover is right for you? Let's hop onto a short free call and chat more!

It's been a WHILE since I've posted on this platform! So today, let's talk about PAC-MAN.
Go on, humor me... I promise there's a (very powerful) point to this!

🎮 What Makes PAC-MAN So Successful?  
It’s not the plot. (There isn’t one.) It’s not the characters or the fun multiplayer modes common in today’s games. (There are none.)  
So... what gives?  
PAC-MAN is addictive because it’s easy... at first.  
The first few levels are impossible to lose, and that’s exactly the point.  ✨ You start off winning, and it's empowering. ✨ You build confidence and momentum. ✨ By the time the game gets harder, you’re invested (and learning).  
Now imagine if PAC-MAN started with its hardest levels—no warm-up, no wins. You’d quit almost immediately, right?   
So why expect recovery to be any different?
😬 When people talk about going “all in” in recovery, it’s like starting PAC-MAN on the hardest level.  
Diving head-first into everything scary, uncomfortable, and overwhelming might sound brave, but for most people, it’s too much, too soon.  ❌ It's not empowering ❌ You lose your confidence ❌ You give up 
I'm not saying this is everyone's experience with "all in." But I've nevertheless seen it often enough to recognize a trend!  
So... what can we learn from PAC-MAN? 


🍀 Start Small  
Recovery is full of challenges, but you don’t have to tackle them all at once. 👉 Can you take one step to get the ball rolling? 👉 Could you face a semi-scary fear food before tackling a huge one? 👉 Can you work with a coach to help you define your starting goals?   
🔥 Build Momentum  
Once you’ve had a few wins, let that sense of empowerment fuel your next moves! 👉 Can you celebrate and consolidate those achievements? 👉 Does this provide more clarity on what comes next? 👉 Could you tap into your support system to help you keep going?   
🚀 Progress  
Now you’re ready to go all in—not just in recovery, but in life. 👉 Are you reaping those benefits, and keen to reap more? 👉 Are you confident and ready for change? 👉 Do you have that action plan in mind?  
Recovery doesn’t have to start with overwhelm. It can start with confidence, momentum, and a plan that works for you.


If you’re unsure where to begin, know that I’m here to help you define those small steps, celebrate those (big and small) wins, and support your progress.   
Book onto your free consultation here to get the ball rolling and discover what your recovery journey can look like.

Can you recover from an eating disorder without gaining weight? Without becoming obsessed with sugar? Without "bingeing"?
There's not easy answer. Maybe?
Having said that, in order to recover, it's important toeat freely, without fear of weight gainstop focusing on the calories and weight gainstop obsessing over the scales and weight gainallow your body to do it's thing, even if this means weight gain  
You see, the weight gain itself is not what defines recovery. However, the ability to stop obsessing over it is what does. In the process of overcoming this obsession, it is possible and likely that you will gain weight (and crave sugar and go against everything that feels 'right' to the eating disorder), and you may need to embrace this in order to be physically and mentally healthy. But what matters is not the numbers on the scale (or on yet another packet of chocolates), what matters is the mindset change.
So 2024 is the year to start focusing on your goals, your dreams, your ambitions. Stop focusing on the weight. 
And, no, your body may not always feel like it is your friend. It didn't to me. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat it as your friend. Fake it 'till you make it. Because the body is hardly ever at fault...
Your worth does not depend on your appearance.
Tearing yourself down is not what’s going to help build yourself up.
You are unique and valuable as you are.
Your body deserves respect, regardless of its shape or size.
It would be a lie to say that this was always easy, but there are definitely some things I have done over the years that have helped me tremendously, such as...  striding straight into the fear (to prove, through experience, that the outcome really isn't that bad)wearing clothes that fit, are comfortable, and make me feel genuinely ME (and that take the focus off of my appearance)daily gratitude journalling, and shifting my attention to the positives in life and in my day-to-day  giving myself breaks and allowing myself treats (including sufficient rest and nourishment), in essence telling my body it deserved these things even on days where I didn't feel like it did  
Nowadays, even when I do feel a bit bleh in my body (it happens -- I'm human!) it also simply holds a lot less power over me than it did back then, and it most definitely no longer temps me to return to the eating disorder. The process of gaining weight (and gaining mental clarity alongside this), the process of shaking off the ed... it all means that a bad day no longer gets blown out of proportion. I notice the thoughts and then move on to other, better things. It no longer consumes 99% of my brain space.
So here's what I want you to take away as we head into a new year: change takes time. It feels uncomfortable. But you have to change your behaviours to change the outcome. You have to push through (and you can!)
Now go do it xx

PS. For a daily dose of motivation, find me on Instagram here. Or, for that big nudge in the right direction, sign up to a free 15 minute call with me here and let's see if coaching could be the key to your 2024 success!

An eating disorder is the ultimate way to avoid decisions (and decision fatigue). Always choose the lowest calorie option; always say no; always avoid sugar; and so on and so forth. It’s a list of commands, with no room for second-guessing. 
With an eating disorder, you don't have to decide what to eat and when, because you eat the same thing, every day, at the same times. You don't have to decide where you want to go out for lunch because you DON’T go out for lunch. (And, if you do, you go for the same salad every time. No decision needed.) And let’s be honest: this is the easy way out. 
Recovery is a different story. Suddenly, you need to decide what to eat and when. Is this enough, and should I do X, Y or Z? Am I doing this right or could I be doing more? It’s quite the change (particularly as there is no fool-proof perfect way to go through the recovery process)!
So here are my three quick-fire best tips to take the pressure off of the ‘what to eat’ dilemma:Have a plan. If spontaneous choices make you anxious, decide beforehand or follow a meal plan or guide! (PS. my meal support guide is currently available at 60% off! Get it here while it lasts!)Open up to variety, for example by putting different options in a hat and picking at randomEat enough. Restriction depletes your ability to do things differently, so take in enough energy to increase your brain- and will-power. This will also reduce the likelihood of 'bingeing' or reactively eating later on in the day.

Besides eating enough, something I talk about in a lot more depth here and here (you'll want to check out both! :-)), the precise foods you go for does not matter quite as much. As long as you do not avoid food groups, as long as you face your foods, and as long as you aim for variety, you're on the right track. There is no 100% perfect or fool-proof way to go about recovery, so don't worry yourself with aiming for 'perfection.' 
This is a challenging truth to swallow, but also an incredibly liberating one. Everyone is on a different journey, so start yours today!

Are you tired of feeling alone in your struggles with an eating disorder? Do you find yourself constantly battling negative thoughts and behaviors around food and your body? Is something you believed you controlled now controlling your life?
If you are constantly dieting, restricting, compensating, and tightly controlling your food intake; if you are consumed by calories and numbers and food labels; if you are feeling stuck, you have come to the right place. You are not alone. And the good news is that you don't have to go through this journey by yourself!

For a moment, imagine never counting another calorie in your life… without anxiety or fear. Imagine eating what you crave and when you crave it, without overanalysing this choice and without experiencing incapacitating guilt as a result. Imagine sitting down for a meal with friends, looking into the mirror with a smile, and living a life beyond the eating disorder.
It is possible. Really.
As the video describes, there's therapists, coaches, dieticians, retreats, and so much more, all at your fingertips to help guide and support you through the recovery journey. And no one option is better than another (per se), but it ultimately comes down to you and your preferences and your motivators.
So today I just want to tell you this: I’m here for you. I'm here for you, I have been through it all myself, and I have the expertise and the experience to guide you through your journey too. And, yes, I am just one of the many options out there. But if you vibe with my energy, if you trust my guidance, if you are open to this journey... you are already halfway there.

Personally, I never got on with conventional therapy, and it is only once I experimented with alternative approaches and coaching that my progress skyrocketed. As a result, I really want you to know that if what you're doing currently is not working... it's no the only way!

One-on-one coaching can be an incredibly powerful tool, providing you with all of the following benefits:Personalized support: One of the biggest benefits of one-on-one coaching is that it's tailored specifically to your needs. A skilled coach will work with you to understand your unique challenges and develop a personalized plan to help you achieve your goals. This level of personalized support can be incredibly valuable, particularly when you're dealing with something as complex as an eating disorder.Accountability: Another important benefit of coaching is that it provides you with a level of accountability that you may not have on your own. Your coach will be there to help you stay on track, to encourage you when you're struggling, and to celebrate your successes with you. This level of accountability can be a powerful motivator and can help you stay committed to your recovery goals.Expert guidance: Recovery can be a difficult journey, and it can be hard to know where to turn for help. One-on-one coaching can provide you with expert guidance and support from someone who has been there before. Your coach can help you navigate the ups and downs of recovery, provide you with evidence-based strategies and tools, and offer you the benefit of their experience and knowledge.Non-judgmental support: Finally, one-on-one coaching provides you with a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around food and your body. Your coach will be there to offer you compassion, understanding, and support, without judgment or criticism. Don't let me dictate your decision, but use this knowledge to acknowledge your options. There's no reason (and no excuse) to remain stuck.
If you’re ready to put in the effort, if you're ready to put in the work, and if you're looking for a coach to support you in your eating disorder recovery journey, find someone you trust, someone who has your best interests at heart, and someone who has the skills, knowledge and experience to help you reach lasting success. Someone like me?
I have firsthand experience with eating disorder recovery. I understand the challenges you're facing because I've been there myself. This personal experience gives me a deep level of empathy and understanding for what you're going through and allows me to provide you with the support and guidance you need. In addition to my personal experience, I have also received professional training in eating disorder recovery and coaching. I hold too many certificates to count and do everything to stay up-to-date on the latest research and best practices in the field. This combination of personal experience and professional training allows me to offer you a unique and effective approach to recovery. And a holistic one! I believe that eating disorder recovery is about more than just changing your behaviors around food. It's also about addressing the underlying emotional, psychological, and social factors that contribute to your disorder. That's why I take a holistic and highly individualized approach to recovery, working with you to address all aspects of your health and well-being. I believe in reflection, I believe in goal-setting, and I believe in non-judgmental support -- a safe, non-judgmental space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around food and your body. I understand that recovery is a journey, and there may be setbacks and challenges along the way. I will be there to support you, to encourage you, and to help you stay on track, without judgment or criticism. And if that sounds like what you need, don't hesitate and book that free discovery call to find out more.
By signing up, you can expect the following outcomes:Improved relationship with food and your body, giving you a sense of control over your life Greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, leading to increased confidence and emotional stabilityReduced anxiety and stress around mealtimes and food choices, helping you to feel more relaxed and at ease in social situationsImproved physical health and well-being, leading to a greater sense of vitality and overall well-beingEnhanced relationship with your body and food, free of fears and rules, allowing for greater food freedom and intuitive eatingIncreased hopefulness as you navigate this oftentimes isolating and overwhelming journey, during which you feel heard and understoodA sense of empowerment and self-acceptance, helping you to develop a more positive and fulfilling outlook on life If you are open to experiencing these changes, schedule your free call now.

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR. I hope you are all doing well and have started 2023 off with a bang! Secondly, relax. I hope you all know that there's really no need to throw a fit thinking up and executing all of these (over-hyped) new year's resolutions for your 'new year, new me.' This year, I propose a different approach.As we all know, the start of a new year is often seen as an opportunity to make significant changes in our lives. Many people use this time to set new goals, make resolutions, and try to 'get on track.' And while I don't think that reflection and goal-setting should be confined to January-time (with no additional reflection carried out throughout the year and habit change deterred until the following year), if resolutions are your much-needed push to set new healthy habits into motion, fine! Any excuse to reflect is a good one.
For individuals recovering from eating disorders, however, the new year can be a challenging time, precisely because of this. Whether it triggers reflection on the lack of progress of the previous year, the work yet to do in the upcoming year, or whether it overwhelms the recovery-oriented self with an incredulous influx of January diet-talk, January can suck.
But you are not alone. You can get through it and you will get through it.
Here are some ideas for how to get on track in the new year without focusing on weight loss or restrictive resolutions: Focus on self-care: Instead of setting weight loss goals, set self-care goals. This could include getting enough sleep, taking time for yourself each day, practicing mindfulness, or finding a form of exercise that feels good for your body. Set meaningful goals: Rather than setting arbitrary goals like 'lose 10 pounds,' set goals that are meaningful and relevant to your life. This could include pursuing a hobby or passion, building stronger relationships with loved ones, or advancing in your career. Practice intuitive eating: Instead of following strict diets or meal plans, focus on intuitive eating. This means listening to your body's hunger and fullness cues and eating foods that make you feel good, rather than following strict rules or restrictions. If you're not there yet, work with a coach or another professional to get there!Connect with others: Building a support network can be incredibly beneficial, especially during recovery when we are all too inclined to shy away from the company of others. Connecting with others could take the form of joining a support group, reaching out to a friend or family member, or working with a therapist or coach. It could also mean joining a social club or spending time with familty!Celebrate progress: Instead of focusing on perfection, celebrate progress and small wins. Recognize the hard work and effort that you're putting in, and acknowledge the progress you're making towards your goals.By focusing on self-care, meaningful goals, intuitive eating, connection, and progress, you can (and will!) get on track in the new year without falling back into old habits. With a supportive community and a positive mindset, it's possible to achieve lasting recovery and live a healthy, fulfilling life.

I hate to break it to ya, but you’re not working ‘hard enough’ if your results aren’t as obvious as the steroid-pumped dude next-door (sarcastic eye-roll)You are not fit if you don’t have a visible 6-packYou are wasting your time if you’re not pushing yourselfYou’re not working hard enough if your workouts don’t leave you drainedYou are slacking if you don’t improve your personal bests every weekYou won’t progress if you don’t maintain your rigid schedule — 
Blah blah blah. Do you ever tell yourself these things? Because I know I’ve definitely fallen into a few of these traps myself (telling myself I wasn’t fit if I didn’t have abs, but also in other areas of life telling myself I wasn’t studious enough if I wasn’t working 6 ’til 6 (at least), etc. etc. etc.). 
So here’s your weekend reminder that this comparison is NORMAL but it does not need to NORMALIZED. It can be super-detrimental, so choose to stop comparing yourself to airbrushed online influencers who don’t even look like their airbrushed online presences. 
These are some of the things that helped me most in my journey:Stopping body checking (starting with the scales (check out the YouTube video below for more on this)Unfollowing those pages and accounts that trigger the comparison mindset. Instead, following body neutral and positive pages that encourage gratitude, and taking occasional social media breaksLoving myself in the moment: buying clothes that fit *now,* doing things I enjoy *now,* and carrying out any other little actions to show myself that I matter and deserve to be treated well *right now,* no matter where I’m headed in the futureTaking rest. Lots of it.Nourishing my body. Always. 
Try it out for yourself, and give yourself that much-needed break. If taking this time is making you feel guilty, extend your break. Take an entire month, or two. You need it. Use this time to redefine your priorities and deal with any thoughts that come up (the right way). 
Working out should feel like working with your body, not against it. Viewing your body should be a source of pride, not a source of shame. If it doesn’t yet, hang in there until it does.

My body image changed during my eating disorder recovery, as I gained weight and I approached a healthy BMI. It changed even as I then maintained this new healthy weight. So did the body dysmorphia that characterised my eating disorder simply disappear with time? Did I magically start loving myself during this process of rediscovery? Well, not quite... 
You see, gaining weight is not the panacea. It did not solve all of my problems, nor all of my body image concerns. Sure, it definitely impacted my body image to some extent, but not necessarily and immediately in a way that made me love myself or even trust that I ever would.

While not all eating disorders are characterised by weight loss, mine was. I never felt 'too big' per se, but I never really liked my body either. As I then embarked on my recovery weight gain journey, I went from being skinny and not liking my body (societally a pretty acceptable place to be) to gaining weight and not liking my body (societally a very odd place to purposefully put myself in), and ultimately to being a 'normal' weight and still feeling, well, not madly in love with my appearance. 

Whilst I knew that the transition from ill to healthy would be a difficult one -- particularly with slow weight redistribution, water retention, and lots of change! -- I had always been convinced that once I'd reach my healthy weight everything would fall into place again. But then of course it didn't. I was now healthy, still struggling, and I feared that this all made my struggles invalid because I was no longer explicitly outwardly unwell. 
Initially, this drew me in completely. What could I do to 'fix' things? Why weren't things 'fixed' already? What steps did I need to take? I tried to challenge my thoughts and rewire my brain. I started gratefulness journalling and tracking my achievements and writing down the things I'd done that I was proud of. To some extent, this helped. But I still had bad days and bad weeks and bad times and I did everything in the book to try and 'fix' this. When I failed, I tried and tried again. Why didn't things improve? 
Some while later, I felt like it was all futile and I let it be. I moved on. Surprisingly, it is once I stopped putting in all of this effort and stopped caring -- once I let it be -- that things started to genuinely improve. It is once I let it be and got on with my life that my body image became a whole lot better than it had ever been. The exercises helped, but it is only once I let it be that my body image improved in leaps and bounds. 
The secret? I stopped giving a damn. It is only once other parts of my life started making up a bigger part of who I was that there was less and less space for the eating disorder and any of its remaining ailments. The eating disorder was, quite simply, crowded out by other more important things. 
When I realised that personality, generosity, and kindness were things I valued a whole lot more than a bloated tummy, this tummy no longer bothered me as much. When I realised that travelling, exercising, and socialising were things I enjoyed a whole lot more than hiding myself away, I distanced myself from  the old coping mechanisms that were no longer serving me (and replaced them with activities that actually benefit me). When I realised the body checking was pushing me down rather than appeasing my anxiety, I traded full-length mirrors for a tiny bathroom one and kept it at that. And when I acknowledged that this was the body I was stuck with (returning to the eating disorder had never crossed my mind as an option), I started living in it rather than living to change it. 
In simple terms, the eating disorder had made me unhappy about my body and had made me focus on this discontent excessively. Recovery did not magically make me unicorns-and-rainbows happy about every aspect of my weight and shape, but it took that focus and that pressure off. 
Ironically, by putting my recovery and my health first, focusing on it a great deal for chunk of time, I now barely spend a minute checking myself out in the mirror or considering what I’ll have for dinner or planning my exercise in advance (or anything else the eating disorder used to convince me were life or death decisions). The focus is now elsewhere, on things that I actually value and find important in my life. 
So, yes, you need to gain the weight. You need to do the work. You need to replace the old habits with new, healthier coping mechanisms. And then you need to keep this up, even if everything isn’t naturally ‘solved’, and even when it does feel uncomfortable. Find your passion, and you’ll find that one day your weight and body won’t hold the same ‘weight’ they did before. 
I definitely recommend journalling, and I recommend positive affirmations that shift your attention and your outlook (which, let's face it, may be quite negatively-biased right now). But once this is done, take the pressure off. Focus elsewhere.Unfollow the social media accounts that are not serving you, and stop hanging out with the people who leave you feeling down in the dumps.Importantly, STOP BODY CHECKING. 
Determine your priorities in life and then work towards them regardless of what your body looks like and regardless of how you feel about what your body looks like. 

To let go of the eating disorder, and everything it brought with it, I had to let go of control, to let go of one set weight ideal, and to allow my body to take me where it wanted (and wants) to take me. Without rigidly holding the reigns. I had to learn to listen to my body, both its needs and its wants. 
No one can promise happiness if you gain the required weight, but I can promise you that gaining this weight will lead to better health, and an improved chance at this happiness later on.
For me, that is enough.

Let’s face it: the eating disorder likes control. Counting calories creates a *perfect* sense of control, and so many individuals with an eating disorder and in recovery from an eating disorder therefore turn to this for a sense of safety, at a time when everything else may feel unsafe and unsure.
Here’s another hard pill to swallow: you need to let go of this ‘safety’ to recover, and in order to become free around food again. It makes sense, right? You need to stop trying to control everything (and in the process stop focusing on food 24/7) in order to feel freer.
Like all compulsions, though, counting calories serves a purpose, making it difficult to let go. In fact, during some stages of recovery people do actually find genuine benefit in it too! However, it is never a long-term solution if food freedom is the goal, so here are my best tips to let go:
Remove your barriers. If you wear a smart watch that tracks your steps or use a fitness app that tracks your intake or have a food scale that tracks your portion sizes… GET RID. Even if you still count in your head, this step will be a start, building your awareness of just how much you turn to this maladaptive behavior (and when).If you do still find yourself counting in your head, and if you feel like nutrition labels are imprinted in your brain, buy items you wouldn’t normally buy. Go to a bakery where there aren’t any labels, or buy products from different brands and then (have someone else) cross out the labels. You can also transfer newly-bought items into new containers. If you find yourself guesstimating the calories and counting these up, distract yourself at those times that you feel most vulnerable to doing this.Talk back to the eating disorder. Rationalising isn’t everything at a time when emotional distress takes over. Still, talk back to the eating disorder. Don’t let it have the last word. Understand that your body’s weight is so much more than calories in, calories out, and that your weight is determined by your hypothalamus, genetics, metabolic functioning, and more, all to a much greater extent than it is by calories! In other words, we don’t have as much control as we really think — use this realisation to stop wasting time counting up numbers (which, in and of itself, is prone to tremendous error) and start living.Explore the function calorie counting has for you: does it reduce anxiety, help you deal with difficult emotions, or give you permission to eat? Once you find out its function, explore alternatives. For example, if counting reduces anxiety, try yoga, meditation, or other creative outlets instead. If it helps you deal with emotions, try journalling or therapy.Be gentle on yourself. An automatic and engrained behavior is tricky to tackle, so don’t expect it to fade from one day to the next. Instead, keep challenging it but don’t beat yourself up if things don’t change at once. Progress takes time.
If you are struggling, please do not hesitate to reach out. Most people find it incredibly hard to do this alone. Remember: you can do this and I believe in you!

Hi there! My name is Hanne Arts and a I'm a Psychology graduate, author, YouTuber, and recovery warrior. I started writing when I was about seven, and I began incorporating some of my own mental health struggles into my works from the age of thirteen. I published my debut novel, JUST PERFECT, in December 2014, followed by its sequel, RED RIBBONS, in October 2017.

But that's quite a condensed version of my life, don't you think?










As a child, my life was perfect.  
That is, until it wasn’t anymore.  
In January 2010, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, anorexia. In February 2010, I was hospitalized. Since then, I have been in and out of hospitals, consistently struggling to build my life up whilst sliding back down.
If someone would have told me, even just five years ago, that things would get better, I don’t think I could have suppressed my laughter. It would have been sinister laughter. Why-on-earth-would-you-say-that laughter, like that of an evil character in a children’s film. I did not believe that I would ever make it out; I felt helpless and trapped in the embrace of an illness that once, just briefly, had promised me that everything would be fine. Everything would be okay if only I tossed out that snack, if only I skipped that meal.  
For almost six years of my life, my mind was consumed. I was obsessed. I fell into the eating disorder’s arms, unable to break free. Every morning and every night, I would sneak upstairs to weigh myself. Every mealtime, I would consider how to get away with eating less and less. Every night, I cried myself to sleep. I felt worthless. I wished for a way out.  
I wished to sleep. Forever. When the morning sun awoke me from a restless night, I was disappointed. A new day – the same struggles.
Meanwhile, I saw my parents break down. Whilst I turned into a shadow of my former self, they crumbled. They forced me to eat, threatened me with hospitalization, and showered me with more love than I knew anyone could hold within one’s heart. And I hated them for it.  
After all, it was the one thing keeping me there. It was the only thing keeping me tied to the life I so desperately wanted to step out of.  
They sobbed and I sobbed; they sent me to treatment and I went. Gradually, the weight crept up. Gradually, the bad moods lifted, if even just a little. What was there, I wondered, further down this path? Would the veil that obscured my life finally lift? Was there a light at the end of the tunnel?  
There was no way to know. Not unless I followed the path. And I decided it was worth the risk.   
Let me tell you now, it is worth the risk. It is a winding road, but it is paved; there are poisonous berries and thorn bushes, but no bad wolves or evil gnomes. It sure as hell is a safer route than the alternative, and I really think you should consider it. You won’t know if you don’t try.   
Had I not taken the risk, I would have never known. I would have never experienced the wonders that make up life. I would have never experienced shameless pleasure, unapologetic joy, and that incredible emotion that comes so naturally to children – carefree nonchalance.   
Today, I live abroad, I attend university, and I have a boyfriend. Food is no longer at the forefront of my priorities list. I am ED- thought and behaviour free. I have a successful YouTube channel and two much-praised published books. I work, I travel, I enjoy my life.  
And I know that I will wake up tomorrow morning, excited when the sun awakes me from a restful sleep.