Suzy Greaves's Blog

I’m in the middle of a mid-life reinvention.

 

Last year, I left behind my wonderful job at Psychologies,  sold my canal boat (long story), dropped my

 

son at uni and then went travelling in a campervan around the UK.

 

Like you do.

 

I then made the big leap to live in the ‘lost kingdom’ of Northumberland.

 

Think fairytale castles, wide, empty beaches, dark skies – and magic.

 

With a cinematic backdrop and a dash of fairy dust, I am now figuring out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.

 

What I know for sure is that I want to put happiness and joy front and centre.

 

It’s been a challenging time for many of us and with the doom and gloom merchants talking about more

 

doom and gloom to come – I’ve decided to put my focus on what I can control.

 

I was inspired by  interviewing intuition queen Sonia Choquette last week.

 

Sonia is an author and speaker and one the most highly regarded experts in the field of intuition.

 

Author of 27 New York Times best sellers, her books have been read by over one million people.

 

I loved speaking with her and she’s helped me make some life changing decisions.

 

I’ve decided to create my own personal Big Happy Experiment and use the tools that these world-class

 

experts give me and apply them to my own life.

 

Does anyone want to join me?

 

I’d like try it for the month of July and see how we get on.

 

The idea is we focus on one expert’s advice for one week and then see what happens when we take

 

action and the report back to our Facebook group.

 

I’d like to start with my interview this week with Sonia Choquette.

 

Your weekly challenge if you choose to accept it: Conduct your own intuition experiment.

 

What do you need to do exactly? Read the interview (see below)

 

Your experiment this week: Every time you have a decision to make this week, tune into your

 

intuition and see what happens if you act on your intuition.

 

Try it now. Put one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Take a breath.

 

What decision are you trying to make. State it out loud. Complete the sentence ‘I’m trying to decide…..’

 

Then says, Sonia: Ask your intuition. ‘What do you feel? Then express it out loud, verbally acknowledge

 

it. After you’ve acknowledged it, you can’t ignore it. Then make a choice. ‘You don’t have to act on it.

 

You’re bringing it to the light of your awareness and then you can choose. If you name it, you claim it.

 

When you verbalise your intuition, you begin to acknowledge its existence. If you can record it on your

 

smartphone or write it down, you have hard evidence – so you can see what happens if you choose to

 

follow it or not,’  she says.

 

Then let’s discuss it in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2383230891839164

 

I will post a new experiment every Thursday.

 

Suzy x

 

P.S Here’s the interview.

The Big Happiness Interview: Sonia Choquette on why your intuition is your superpower

 

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I’ve been writing a book about the year my son and I spent on a canal boat in the middle of London in lockdown.

 

I’ve finished a second draft (almost) but I’m really struggling to keep going.

 

I work well with deadlines and wondered if anyone wanted to join me in a writing support group? We can commit to write every day (or every week) and support each other as we get our damn books finished and out in the world.

 

If you want to join me, we start Wednesday 1st June here.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/681410476256836

Pencils at the ready.

 

See you there.

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Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.

Brené hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 45 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.

Brené lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie.

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In this interview you’ll learn: – Why it’s important to feel a sense of connection with like-minded people – Why talking can help your mental health – How mindfulness can be a useful practice for mental health Best known as comedian, author and TV writer, Ruby also holds a Master’s degree in Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy and has been awarded an OBE for services to mental health. She’s founder of the charity, Frazzled Café, which provides a safe, confidential and non-judgemental environment so those feeling ‘frazzled’ can talk openly. For the first time, Frazzled Café has launched online so that anyone can join, wherever they live, to feel a sense of connection with like-minded people having similar experiences. Ruby is an advocate for encouraging people to keep talking, as well as practicing mindfulness techniques to help stave off those frazzled feelings.

www.frazzledcafe.org

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Trying to do too many things, badly, doesn’t work. Andrea was born in Scotland and grew up in the Caribbean. After moving to England, Andrea finished her education before moving to London with everything she owned in the back of her car and slept on floors to pursue her dream of becoming a journalist… Andrea is now a #1 Sunday Times Best-Selling author.

Her previous books are Confessions of a Good Girl, and Confessions of a Menopausal Woman. Her latest book: This Girl Is On Fire: How To Live, Learn and Thrive in a Life You Love is available to order from Amazon now. She is also an award-winning TV broadcaster, journalist, radio presenter and CEO and co-founder of the female empowerment site www.thisgirlisonfire.com – Andrea’s mission is to empower 100 million women around the world to live, learn and thrive in a life they love.

Andrea McLean’s Motivational Tips for taking control of your life – 5 things Andrea will show you: DO SOMETHING! Take control of what you can control. Any change you make, no matter how small, will make you feel better.DON’T EXPECT A DIFFERENT RESULT FROM DOING THE SAME THING. That’s the very definition of insanity, yet we all do it. Just stop.If number 2 made you panic and think “I couldn’t possibly do that!” stop it. Yes you can. You think you can’t, but you can.START SMALL. The main reason we give up and feel overwhelmed and out of control is we set our goals too high. Set smaller goals.MAKE A DECISION AND EMBRACE IT.

In Andrea’s 26-year career as a broadcaster she has interviewed some of the biggest names in the business, including Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Drew Barrymore, Will Smith, Dustin Hoffman and Amy Schumer.

Working alongside stellar guest panellists such as Goldie Hawn and Eva Longoria, Andrea has hosted ITV’s ratings and multi award-winning live Daytime chat show Loose Women (Britain’s version of the US show The View) since 2007, bringing her warmth, humour and journalistic skill to the small screen every lunchtime.

Andrea has written for many publications including The Daily Mail, The Mirror, Woman & Home, Woman, Red, Heath & Wellbeing and Surrey Life.VISIT HER SITE

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Author, Activist, Founder of Together Rising – Glennon Doyle is the author of the No. 1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, which has sold over one million copies in fewer than 20 weeks, and “started a movement” (Barnes & Noble). She’s also the author of the New York Times bestseller Love Warrior, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and Carry On, Warrior. An activist and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People), Glennon is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy – raising over $25 million for women, families, and children in crisis. She lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

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Watch our interview with Dutch extreme athlete Wim Hof who got his nickname “The Iceman” by breaking a number of records related to cold exposure including: climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in shorts, running a half marathon above the Arctic Circle barefoot, and standing in a container while covered with ice cubes for more than 112 minutes. Armed with his motto “what I am capable of, everybody can learn”, Wim Hof is convinced that everyone can tap into their inner potential without having to invest the same decades worth of study, travel and daring. Wim has made it his mission to share what he’s learned with the rest of the world. And so he developed the Wim Hof Method: a combination of breathing, cold therapy and commitment that offers a range of benefits. With his Wim Hof Method, he teaches people from all over the world, from celebrities and professional athletes, to people of all ages, to control their body & mind and achieve extraordinary things.

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Katie Piper, Psychologies magazine’s resilience champion talks about how we can all learn to be resilient and care for our mental health and wellbeing during challenging or turbulent times.

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‘My birthday present to myself: a new name’: On turning 50, the writer formerly known as Suzy Greaves decided to put her painful past behind her and start the next era of her life with a radical move 'As I turned 50 myself, I was not the same person I was when I became a Greaves,' writes Suzy Walker (formerly Greaves)

IT WAS A WAY TO MAKE A DRAMATIC GESTURE. IT FELT EXCITING AND SYMBOLIC

A few weeks ago, I gathered my friends around me for a big party to celebrate my 50th birthday. I hired a beautiful old house in the wilds of Kent and created a ‘murder mystery’ theme. ‘All murder mysteries start with a death,’ I paused dramatically in my after-dinner speech. ‘And today, Suzy Greaves, as you know her, kicks the bucket. For the “third act” of my life, I am changing my name.’

Greaves was my married name. I have been divorced for years but didn’t change it because my name had been my ‘brand’ for 25 years; as a journalist, it was my byline; as an author, it was on the cover of my books. It is also the surname of my son, Charlie, now 15.So what had inspired my decision? As editor-in-chief of Psychologies magazine, I’d recently published a report on reinvention – about rewriting our story, changing our life from the inside out – and, as I worked on the copy, I felt the words jump out at me. Big birthdays naturally inspire much introspection, too. Am I on track? Who am I? What do I want next? My mother died at 50. Not to be morbid – but you never know how long you’ve got.As I turned 50 myself, I was not the same person I was when I became a Greaves. Twenty five years ago, I literally was grieving. My parents died when I was a teenager and it felt as though I was cut loose in a tiny boat on stormy seas – without a compass, a paddle or hope. At 22, when I met my (now ex-) husband Jools, I grabbed hold of him like a life raft. He became my everything for 15 years and it was very painful when we broke up.I lost myself for a while. Jools had been the practical one in the relationship so I found myself trying to figure out how to do things such as fix the car and service the boiler – as well as run a business as a coach and freelance journalist and bring up my young son. I was overwhelmed and completely out of my depth. It took me back to how I felt when I lost my parents. My life story seemed like a relentless battle against the forces of death, divorce and despair.I reached out to a wonderful therapist (Denise Pia, thank you) and spent some time looking at my past, learning to grieve in a healthy way and creating a new narrative for my life. No longer the ‘poor orphan’ needing people to rescue her, I have rescued myself. I have found ways to thrive, a job I love and a family of friends who were there with me and for me on my 50th to celebrate my next era with a new name.It was a way to make a definite and dramatic gesture. The process felt exciting and symbolic. The paperwork? Not so much. Changing your name is fairly easy by deed poll – it’s the admin to change your passport, driving licence and bank accounts that’s never-ending. In the early days, I had to plead with Post Office staff to collect parcels as my new ID hadn’t arrived. Try telling this story to a bemused postman. Over the years, I’d worked with my therapist to feel my emotions as opposed to trying to escape from sadness and grief. When I announced my plan to her, she asked questions to ascertain whether I was letting go or running away. We decided I was definitely letting go. But what I found more difficult was deciding what to call myself.I didn’t want to go back to my maiden name Atkinson, because my early years were associated with sadness. I wanted a new name that was magical and meaningful, that suggested the world was my oyster. I polled my closest friends; they sent me late-night texts (‘What about something like Marron – French for chestnut?’) and I tried on names for size. What about Suzy Wonder? ‘Too Harry Potter,’ my brother said. Honeywell? I asked. ‘Too porn star,’ he replied. I had worried that he’d feel as though I was rejecting him by not going back to our family name, but he was enjoying my renaming process. I had also talked to my son at length about whether he minded. His response? ‘You’re my mum, nothing will change that.’ I wrote a note to my ex and ex-in-laws and thanked them for the use of their name for the past 25 years but told them I was changing my name. My ex, who had been with his new partner for years, didn’t reply. My in-laws wished me well and enquired after my new name. ‘I don’t know yet.’ I was beginning to panic; I couldn’t land on a name I loved.‘Why not call yourself Suzy Skywalker?’ one friend had laughingly suggested. I’m a big fan of Star Wars and have been inspired for years by Joseph Campbell’s ‘hero’s journey’ that George Lucas drew inspiration from. (Campbell studied myths and religions to make sense of humanity’s fascination with stories. He believed that we should all ‘follow our bliss’ but that there was often a symbolic death and rebirth in the stories that resonate with us most.)I was born on 4 May (May the fourth be with you). My Aunty Christine (my dad’s sister), who had been very kind to me, was a Walker (her married name). It was kind of a family connection. What if I was Suzy Walker – with a silent ‘Sky’, I wondered out loud? ‘I was joking,’ said my friend. ‘I like it!’ I said. Like a bride, I practised my new signature. Suzy Walker? It had a ring to it.Denise asked me to visualise the name Walker. ‘If it were a picture what would it look like? What do you see?’ It’s dawn and I’m walking along the beach toward the sun, I said. ‘No longer lost at sea,’ she smiled.At my birthday, many of my friends thought I was joking. ‘Skywalker? Haha.’ But when they realised I was serious, they were all positive. And I’ve never been one to follow convention (‘I wouldn’t expect anything less of Suzy Greaves – er, Walker’). My best friend later sent me a lightsaber. ‘You’ve always been a Jedi to me,’ she wrote. My colleagues have cheered me on. I told my Psychologies boss. ‘Glad to know that you’re walking the talk,’ he said.What I know is that Suzy Walker isn’t looking for approval or consent from anyone else for this change. It’s about me creating the next chapter of my life – choosing a name that is meaningful to me. I don’t care if anyone thinks it bonkers. I’m not trying to please anyone but myself.‘But what happens if you want to marry again?’ asked one of my more romantic friends. I’m currently single so a wedding isn’t on the horizon, but I can safely say that if I do remarry I will never take another man’s name. Without thinking, I had followed a patriarchal ownership tradition. For the first act of my life, I ‘belonged’ to my father; by taking the Greaves name, I ‘belonged’ to my husband.For my third act, I wanted to belong to myself. That’s why I’m delighted to announce the birth of Suzy Walker on 4 May 2018, surrounded by her family of friends.May the force be with us all. HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF AT 50, you can see the original article in the Daily Mail by clicking on the button.

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Lewis Howes is a New York Times bestselling author of The School of Greatness and The Mask of Masculinity. He is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker.

 

A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. He hosts a top 100 iTunes ranked Apple podcast, The School of Greatness. Howes was recognized by the White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. Details magazine called him one of “5 Internet Guru’s that can Make You Rich.”

 

Howes has been featured on Ellen, Good Morning America, The Today Show, The New York Times, People, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men’s Health and other major media outlets.

 

 

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