Thomas W. Phelan

“It is critical to your family’s well being and to your kids’ self-esteem that you like (not just love) your youngsters. What does “like” mean? Here’s an example. It’s a Saturday and you’re home by yourself for a few hours—a rare occurrence! Everyone has gone out. You’re listening to some music and just puttering around. You hear a noise outside and look out to see a car pulling up in the driveway. One of your kids gets out and heads for the front door. How do you feel in your gut right at that moment? If it’s “Oh no, the fun’s over!” that may not be like. If it’s “Oh good, I’ve got some company!” that’s more like like. Liking your children and having a good relationship with them is important for lots of reasons. The most important reason, though, may be that it’s simply more fun. Kids are naturally cute and enjoyable a lot of the time, and you want to take advantage of that valuable quality. And they only grow up with you once.”
― PhD, Thomas W. Phelan, 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12

“Your child’s frontal cortex is not capable of processing a lot of words while trying to calm down and manage emotion at the same time. Even though the actual words a parent uses may be perfectly logical, the overload results in an angrier, overwhelmed child and an even more frustrated mom or dad.”
― Thomas W. Phelan, 1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3-Step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting