Barbara Schmidt's Blog

Dear friends,

Even though we are well into March, part of me is still in a bit of a new year mode. With that in mind, I’ve been thinking more about what I’d like to cultivate and what I’d like to release in 2024. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might remember that I consider myself to be a recovering people pleaser and extremely empathic. I often find myself bending boundaries to please others, and apologizing for things that don’t necessarily require one.

Living this way can feel exhausting and even demoralizing at times.

One thing I am definitely working on this year is to live my life confidently and authentically from the inside out, without apology. Which means, saying no without making excuses, setting boundaries when called for, and releasing the need to apologize in situations, just for the sake of keeping the peace.

This all goes without saying, but of course, I wholeheartedly believe in the power of apology and taking responsibility, when required. I’ve learned lately, though, that saying sorry in times when it is not needed, tends to dilute the power of an apology in times required.

So my friends,  below are six things that I am done apologizing for in 2024. I offer this to you with the hope that it helps you to recognize that you can life your life freely, boldly, and confidently; without apology.

Not living up to other people’s expectations of me. I used to strive really hard to make everyone around me happy, and to be the person everyone else wanted me to be. It’s exhausting and confusing. In 2024, I set the intention to be myself, fully and unapologetically.Changing my mind or forming a new opinion when given new information. Life is fluid and constantly changing. We cannot expect ourselves to stay the same as the world around us changes. You’re allowed to change your mind when presented with new information.Being passionate about the things that matter to me. I used to feel sheepish about being passionate about causes I care about. We live in incredibly polarizing times and sometimes it even felt like a burden to care so much about so many things. Now, I fully embrace what matters to me, knowing that the things that I care about are part of me and my path for a reason.Setting healthy boundaries as a form of self-care. Like I said above, I consider myself to be a recovering people pleaser, which means that setting boundaries or even saying no to people has always been extremely challenging. I know, from experience, that I cannot say yes to everyone, and more importantly, I cannot say no to people and feel “guilty” about it. Instead, I choose to honor myself, my time, and my needs, and trust that the right people will always understand, and show me grace when needed.Speaking up for myself and my needs, even if it’s uncomfortable or an inconvenience to others. We all are living incredibly unique lives with unique paths. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s okay. In the past I would apologize or bend my standards to make something okay or more convenient for them. Sometimes you have to be the villain in someone else’s story to be the hero of your own.Living life on my own timeline. I often feel pressure to live up to the timeline that society places upon us. It’s so easy to fall into the expectations that life has for us, without even tapping into our own personal wants, desires, and goals. This year, I really wish to own my life and my timeline, unapologetically, even if it doesn’t make sense to others.

What are some things you’re not apologizing for in 2024? I’d love to hear in the comments!

xo, Michelle

The post 6 Things I’m Not Apologizing for in 2024 appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life®.

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” Eckhart Tolle

I used to really struggle with acceptance, in every aspect of the word, until reading this quote by Eckhart Tolle. I used to equate acceptance with settling, failing, and admitting defeat. I used to resist accepting what was, for fear that it meant that I could never create what I really desired. And then I realized that that entire train of thought was upside down, and keeping me further away from the things I wanted in life.

Contrary to what I had allowed myself to believe, acceptance is not settling or failing. Acceptance is acknowledgment. It is a crucial piece of mindful living. Acceptance is an act of living presently and a sign of an awakening to what is. When we consciously accept what is, we can then consciously create the sturdy foundation to move forward in the direction of our dreams.

I also believe that acceptance is a form of surrender, a relaxing into trust, a pivot into possibility. Affirmations are my favorite way to cultivate acceptance. This week, I’m so happy to share with you my favorite affirmations that I use regularly to practice acceptance, and to open my mind up to trust and the infinite possibilities of life.

Everything is unfolding exactly as it shouldI trust the timing of my lifeAll is wellIt is always this or something betterWhat is meant for me will not pass me

I hope these affirmations help you on along your path in life! You can always edit them to suit your own style and needs! Let me know what your go-to affirmations are in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

The post Affirmations for Acceptance appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life®.

Dear friends,

When was the last time you had some good, old-fashioned fun? Or even chose something for yourself that you knew would bring you joy?

If you had to take a minute to stop and think about it, it’s been too long!

I know how hard it is to remember the importance of fun and joy in life. I know how easy it is to fall into the belief that life has to be a consistent series of high stress events, otherwise we won’t get where we want in life. We are taught that in order to make it through life, we must work hard, and be under the constant pressure to do “more.” Then, after retirement, we can reap the benefits of our labors.

Today, let’s revamp these beliefs and change these mental patterns. Though challenging, I believe life is meant to be enjoyed at all stages. So, how can we start putting the focus on finding activities and people that truly make us happy, and allowing ourselves to have time for fun.

Life is filled with so many wonderful, joyous experiences, imagine how the world could be if we all incorporated more positive, fun loving situations into our lives. If you’re a little nervous of embarking on this fun lifestyle, check out some tips below on how you can lovingly add more fun into your daily life.

1. Allow yourself to change your thought patterns. Try to start having a different attitude about life. In one day, find a way to try and make every single thing you do enjoyable. Mix things up, and get out of the routine of your daily life. Change your thoughts, and the rest of your life is sure to change as well.

2. Be spontaneous. Are you a creature of habit? Many of us are! Try adding something new and exciting into your week. Whether it’s trying out a new class or even going to an exotic restaurant. Do something totally out of the norm and add some adventure to your life.

3. Laugh and smile. Life is simply more fun when we smile. We’ve always been told it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so keep that in the back of your mind when you go about your day. Notice how many more people will smile back at you as you spread happiness everywhere you go.

4. Make someone’s day. Do something nice for someone else. We feel our best when we spread love and kindness towards other people.

5. Treat yourself. Self-love is always key! Do one amazingly fabulous thing for yourself a week. Show yourself how much you really care, and set aside time for you.

What are some things you think you can do to bring fun into your life? Let me know below.

xo, Michelle

The post Putting Fun Back in Your Life appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

Though we hear about this practice often, and can mentally grasp the importance of it, sometimes it’s still challenging actually implementing it into our lives. Setting healthy boundaries is something we all know can benefit our lives in a myriad of ways, and yet how to do it, when, and why still can feel so elusive and confusing.

What I wish to share today is a common example in my personal life, where a simple boundary could have prevented so much anxiety, difficulty, and heartache. A few months ago I was invited to do something that I really didn’t want to do. My intuition said no, my heart pulled back, and deep down I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. As many of you know, I have a history of being a people pleaser, and so, despite all those internal warnings, I said yes.

I fell back into the part of me that wants to always be liked, and who doesn’t want to disappoint.

As you can imagine, I begrudgingly endured the entire situation. And I felt stressed, anxious, angry, frustrated, out of alignment, distracted, irritable, and out of sorts.

Can any of you relate to this?

I think many of us inflict upon ourselves this stress and anxiety because we think we have to, in order to be liked, accepted, welcomed, or included.

But the truth is, being a people pleaser and saying yes without discernment doesn’t really do anyone any good. People don’t really like you more this way, and ultimately you hurt yourself each and every time you participate in this habit.

This situation in my life could have benefited from boundaries, self-connection and awareness, and confidence to speak up for what’s true for me. This simple situation of an unaligned invite and an unaligned response led to so many complicated emotions and resentment.

One of my favorite teachers of boundary setting, Nedra Glover Tawwab often explains that in looking to the parts of our lives where we have that deep-seeded resentment or anxiety, is often where we need boundaries the most.

Thinking about it in this way, we can embrace boundaries are a form of empowerment, strength, and a way for us to align with our identity, our desires, and where we stand in the world. When you don’t have boundaries, you are sending out a signal that you don’t know what you want, that you’ll take whatever you can get, and that you won’t put up a fight along the way.

When you don’t have boundaries, you feel like you are constantly living in a “doormat” mentality. Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-love. By respecting yourself enough to set the necessary boundaries in your life, you’ll discover a unique sense of freedom and peace of mind.

Right after that situation I mentioned above, I made a promise to myself to get in touch with my boundaries and practice enforcing them. The relief I felt was immediate.

If you are looking to start establishing more healthy boundaries in your life, here are a few helpful tips for you:

– Connect with yourself to uncover your desires and values.
– Make a list of the things that you will and will not tolerate in your life.
– Tell a trustworthy friend about your intention to stick to your boundaries, so they can help you stay accountable!
– Remember that it’s ok to say no.
– Trust that the right people will stick around when you have the courage to stick up for yourself.

I hope this is helpful for you. I know it can be hard, but trust me it is worth it!

xo, Michelle

The post The Importance of Setting Boundaries appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

This week I wanted to share with you some thoughts I’ve had about life, and what it really means to trust the timing of it. Over time, I’ve allowed myself to hold the vision of what I desire, but lose patience and belief that things could actually work out for me. I used to think that life really wouldn’t ever provide for me what I really wanted for myself. I was so untrusting of myself and my path, that I felt like I always had to intervene to try and force my desires to come to life.

With this underlying belief, I would settle for things that were just “close enough” to what I wanted, which subsequently led me to feeling deeply unfulfilled and unhappy in my life and my choices. 

Picking people, places, and things that were “almost” good enough built up a deep belief that I wasn’t worthy of the best. Settling for what was less than I desired, signaled to the world that I didn’t care enough to keep seeking for what was true and real. Despite my frustration and sadness for how things in my life were unfolding, I didn’t truly realize that so much of my pain and sadness was self-inflicted because of my choices and not allowing myself to wait for my life’s real blessings.

When I shifted my mindset to not settling, I started editing my choices, and honoring what I truly wanted. I may not have all the things that I want in life just yet, but I feel satisfied and happy along the way, and that has made all the difference. 

What I wish to share with you today is a gentle reminder that your dreams and desires are worthy of you waiting for your blessings. You don’t have to settle for the things that are close enough. You deserve the prize.

Here’s to no longer settling and sticking to your standards. Remember, it’s better to wait for high quality people and experiences then to settle for what isn’t meant for you.

xo, Michelle

The post You Don’t Have to Settle appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

As we’ve started to settle into this new year, with all of the hopes, dreams, and opportunity, I’ve started to marinate on some themes that have been rising to the surface for me. After coming out of the heaviness of 2023, the challenges and difficulties and the emotions that come with it, I’ve noticed myself yearning for and leaning into a more playful, lighthearted mindset and energy for this new year.

There is so much I want to create and foster in 2024, I desire to be a positive force in this world and have so many intentions to not allow whatever life puts in my path defer me from my dreams and desires. And I wish all of this for you, too.

Being a creative person and using my abilities to create things in this world has always felt elusive to me. I used to think I wasn’t creative, that somehow I didn’t get that trait in life. And if you feel this way too, I want you to know deeply that this isn’t true.

We are all creative people with unique creative processes. We all have ideas buried within us, waiting for us to acknowledge them and allow them to come to fruition.

In thinking of creativity, Elizabeth Gilbert and her book, Big Magic, often come to mind. I read Big Magic years ago, when I first was contemplating my own relationship with creativity. Elizabeth’s words in this book inspired me and reignited the knowing within myself that creativity exists within all of us, we just have to be willing to recognize it.

Every year around this time, when contemplating what my focus will be, I think about this quote from Big Magic, “Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?”.

Being creative in this world takes bravery and confidence, but when we act on those treasures of our souls, there is no more worthwhile endeavor.

This year, my creativity is leading me towards completing and releasing my first book. This has been a passion project of mine for years, and I am so excited to finally share it with you.

What is 2024 asking you to create? Let me know in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

P.S. I’m so excited that Elizabeth Gilbert will be joining us for an in-person evening of inspiration, community, and fun! Join us on February 1st, we cannot wait to see you there!

 

 

The post Capture Your Creativity appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Happy New Year, dear friends!

I hope the start of 2024 has brought you a renewed feeling of optimism, hope, and peace. If not, I hope you find comfort in knowing that it’s normal to feel even more pressure at the beginning of the new year. Society advertises things like, New Year, New You, as if on December 31,  at midnight,  a switch is flipped and we are all of a sudden free from all of our worries and stresses.  Be gentle with yourself and remember no feeling is ever final; everything changes, eventually.

At the end of last year, I started to feel a different sense of excitement and positivity for the new year to come, for some reason, 2024 felt like it might have a different energy to it than what we have been experiencing since 2020.

I feel a great sense of momentum, equilibrium, alignment, and confidence; all things I’ve often hoped for and yearned for.

In order to maintain these feelings, and the desire to make this year all that I hope for it to be, I came up with some positive affirmations to reinforce my intention word and my goals for the calendar year ahead. I’ve been really loving my affirmation practice lately, there is so much power found in noticing your thoughts and choosing differently.

One thing I like to emphasize when talking about affirmations is that this tool isn’t meant to be bypassing of difficult emotions or trauma in life. I wholeheartedly believe in feeling uncomfortable feelings and processing difficult emotions in a healthy, safe way. For me, affirmations are the tool to keep my monkey mind (the thoughts that come for no reason) at bay.

Below are the six affirmations I’m using to usher in 2024, use them, tweak them, or create some of your own to help you feel your best in this new chapter of life

I am excited for each new day, every moment of my life contains infinite opportunities.I fully trust the timing and process of my life. My path is my own and I love it.I am always in the right place at the right time.I am a magnet for all that I desire in life; what is for me will never pass me.I love myself fully, I am my own best friend.I am safe, loved, and supported, always.

Wishing you all so much love and many blessings in this new year. Let me know your affirmations in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

The post 6 Affirmations I’m Using in the New Year appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

It’s hard to believe 2023 is about to come to a close.

As with any calendar year, so much transpires in 365 days. There are always high highs and low lows, and somehow, we find a way to maneuver through it all.

As we know, life is never predictable, and things are always changing, but what remains constant (for me) is my infinite gratitude for you and for this community.

While so much is uncertain and unstable, I find great comfort and joy in this little corner of the internet, our community.

As we are now in that funny little week between Christmas and New Years Eve, I wanted to share with you my end of the year process. While we cannot change what has happened in the past, we can honor it, learn from it, and influence our future with purpose and hope.

I love to take the last week of the year to reflect and honor the time that has passed, and clear the slate for a new chapter to begin.

This year, it feels especially meaningful for me to do so.

In this ritual, I honor the good, the bad, and everything in between. I encourage you to try this, feel what resonates for you, and use this as inspiration for your own year-end process.

I prefer to use my journal for this exercise, but feel free to approach this in whatever way feels aligned for you.

Part One: Sit with yourself and call to mind all of the highs from the past year. In this first part, let yourself remember everything and anything that went well for you this year. Ask yourself these questions:

What did I accomplish?  Where did I grow personally?  How were my relationships? In what ways did I take care of myself and my boundaries?

Sit with yourself as you ask these questions and begin to notice what comes up for you.  It’s easy to think that this year was filled with everything wrong, but when you take this moment of pause, you can start to notice the small moments of happiness, joy, and growth.

Even though this year was incredibly difficult in many ways, when you dig a little deeper, you can find these silver linings. Notice how you feel when you recall and honor your successes.

Part Two: Remember the lessons learned. This year was filled with unexpected challenges, pivots, and collective trauma. I encourage you to honor yourself for your perseverance and resiliency in this section. Ask yourself these questions:

What did I learn from this unparalleled year? What makes me stronger? What changes will I make in the year ahead?

We know that 2023 was not always easy, but in difficulty lies strength and fortitude. Take heart in knowing that you will leave this year behind wiser, stronger, and with a deep will to persevere regardless of what happens in the external world.

Part Three: What do you wish to cultivate? In this section, allow yourself to tap into your desires, hopes, dreams and creativity.

Ask yourself these questions:

How can I build from my successes of this past year? How will I use the lessons learned to propel me further towards my dreams? What pivots will I make as a result of all that has transpired in 2023, so that I can make 2024 more aligned, purposeful and joyful?

Start leaning in to what you would like this new year to look like, feel your feelings deeply, and allow yourself to experience the optimism and hope, in this very moment.

My deep desire and hope is that this process will be helpful and meaningful for you. I hope that you can shine light on the happy moments that you might have forgotten about, gain strength from the challenges, and remember that each new day is a chance to begin again. You always have a choice, and this is your power.

Again, with my whole heart, I want to thank you for being a part of this community during these wild and unprecedented times, and thank you for your continued support of me and for Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life. Now more than ever, it’s important to honor the spaces where you feel loved, seen, and heard, and I thank you so much for allowing me to have this space to do so.

xo, Michelle

The post My 3-Part Year End Ritual appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

I know this time of year can bring up so many emotions, and with so much happening in the world around us it can be hard to find morsels of optimism and joy.

Personally, this year has been very heavy. I’ve experienced so much unexpected change and disappointment. I’ve felt angry, confused, and misunderstood. The happenings of the world have led me to feel helpless and hopeless.

When the drama of the internal world mixed with the trauma of the external combine, it’s easy to feel like there is no light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

This week I wanted to share with you my personal practice for managing these mounting feelings, and how I use this practice to keep me afloat in these stormy seasons.

I often think about the Blaise Pascal quote, “In difficult times carry something beautiful in your heart.”

This is the reminder that helps me maintain perspective and even find optimism when times are hard.

This practice ebbs and flows for me, just like with life. Sometimes the beautiful thought I hold in my heart is a tiny joy: a daily cup of coffee or my cat, Charlotte. Other times, I visualize in my mind all of the good that I am creating in my life, allowing myself to feel the feelings of those accomplishments, and relishing in the excitement of what is to come.

No matter what is happening in my life or the world around me, knowing that I cannot control any of it, it soothes my soul remembering that I can call forward the good that perseveres. I can reinforce in my mind that no feeling is every final, and that everything is always changing. I can encourage myself to always believe in the good things that have yet to happen, of the love I haven’t yet created, and the magic that life will present to me.

I hope that this simple, but meaningful practice can help you in the ways that it has helped me, and perhaps, be that life raft when battling the stormy seas.

xo, Michelle

The post A Simple Practice that Sparks Optimism appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Dear friends,

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~Melody Beattie 

Every year at this time we all sit around with loved ones and discuss what we’re thankful for. Isn’t it wonderful?

What would our lives be like if we had this gratitude 365 days a year?

There comes a time in all of our lives where we just feel that nothing is going our way. Jobs, family, friends — it all seems to be less than ideal. Everyone else seems to be successful and thriving. What’s my problem? Why is this all happening to me?

When we find ourselves in these stages in life, remember that it’s when we need gratitude the most.

No matter what, we always have something to be grateful for. And it’s important to look at life from that standpoint.

We are living, breathing beings, and with each breath we have the opportunity to change our lives. What you think is how you feel. How you act has the ability to influence others. We are meant to be blissful, uplifting beings in life.

The energy you put out will always come back to you. So, sending gratitude and graciousness out into the world, will surely come back around to you in some form or another.

So during this time where thankfulness and gratitude surround us, let’s focus on taking these ideals and bringing them into our day-to-day lives. How can we shift and bring more gratitude into our lives? Check out these four A’s for a more gracious living:

–  Awareness. Simply being aware of when you start to get down in the dumps is the first major step! Cross this bridge, and you’ll find the land of peace and graciousness.

–  Acknowledgement. By acknowledging that parts of life aren’t where we want them to be we can uncover the steps to make meaningful change.

–  Appreciation. Don’t look at what you don’t have. Value what you do have.

–  Acceptance. Life is what you make it. The grass is not always greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it!

Are you living a gracious life? What can you do to get that attitude of gratitude?

xo, Michelle

The post Attitude of Gratitude appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.