M.T. Pope's Blog

Chapter 2-Alex Party over here
Being in Sports Agent has it perks. Right now I was in the club with a few ladies clamoring for my attention. The music was pumping loudly and there were women everywhere. It was an invite from a Professional Football player for Baltimore that shall remain nameless. There were bottles popping all over the place. This was a party of all parties. Being that I was never really a party person at first it was a culture shock for me. Even with all the drama that my family had been through I have never been in a wild environment like this one. Scantly dress ladies were everywhere and some even confused me for a professional player because I was built well. I was enjoying myself too much to tell them that I was a Sports Agent. It felt good to get out of my shell after all of this time. Who knew that there was a party animal that lived inside of me and was ready to go crazy, like I was doing right at this moment?“So you going to let me take you home tonight?” I whispered into the ear of this chick that was thick in all the right places and had her breast up against me like she want me to suck on them right then and there. Yes, I was still freaky but I didn’t get down like that in public, maybe in a bathroom stall or something but not out in the open. I wasn’t sideshow material. I did all my nasty shit behind closed doors. The whole time I was checking her neck out to see if she had an Adam’s apple like me. If you know my past you know why I did this. If her hands were as big as mine were then I made up an excuse and moved on to the next lady of interest. Shit was real out here. Nobody was who or what they said they were. I have been some places and saw some things that I shouldn’t have been exposed to at an early age as I did. But as the say goes, ‘what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger’, my ass should be as strong as the Incredible Hulk or something for all of the stuff I been through and made it out of.Living on my own now had its advantages and banging girls’ backs out in the comfort of my own apartment was one of them. Now I didn’t sleep with as many women that as the jocks I worked for, but I got my fair share and they weren’t bottom feeders either.   “Hey, Lex, are you trying to go to the after party at my crib? I’m ready to blow this place and take this thing all the way live.”  The athlete that I was invited here by asked me. I wasn’t about to turn down some free liquor and a couple of groupies trying to get into the pant of anybody close to or assumed to be close to the professional athlete. He was semi-well-known and he sure partied like a rock star. I was all game.“Hell yeah,” I hopped off of the sofa in one of the VIP rooms we were partying in and was ready to go get white boy wasted.A few more folks got up and we all made our way to our cars and followed my client to his house. We pulled up to a gated community about twenty minutes from the club that we left. It was close to one in the morning. I knew I had to go to work in the morning, but the party animal in me told the responsible me to chill the fuck out. This guy was making good money because he was living up in a double story condominium with all of the bells and whistles to go with it; Jacuzzi, swimming pool, and exercise room.  It was about twenty to thirty people that filed into his residence and it didn’t take long before the party got pumped up again. Man I was drinking like a fish in water. I knew I was going to paying for it in a few hours but I still didn’t care. I was making up for all of the years of being the ‘good’ twin. I was now the ‘party over here’ twin. I was partying every weekend.I woke up to a dog licking my face. I opened my eyes slowly because I felt fucked up all over. I was in a bed with my shirt off and a bottle of vodka next to me.“Ahhh,” I softly moaned as I tried to sit up. It was a slow process but I finally got up and on the side of the bed. As I put my foot down, I felt something mushy and prayed to god that it wasn’t what I thought it was. I peered over a little bit to see.“Shit,” I groaned and shook my pounding head and then I pulled my foot out of the pile of puck. I looked around the room to see if there was something I could wipe it off with. There was nothing, but I did notice a chick lying half naked on the floor.“Damn, did I fuck her?” I wondered out loud.  She was naked from the waist up so I know I at least sucked on her breast at least. I was a breast man for sure. My pants were still intact so I assumed that I didn’t. I didn’t even know who this chick was. All I remember was having a few drinks with her and talking about frogs or some shit. I have learned that men will listen to anything from a chick to get laid. I have no clue as what happened last night. I looked at my watch and it read eight thirty. I had an hour to get home and then to work.  Even though I got drunk, I still made it to work on time even if I had a hangover from hell.  The sudden urge to piss hit me and I slowly rose to my feet and went on a journey to relieve bladder.Man there was limp bodies everywhere. The music was still on blaring. I am surprised that the neighbors didn’t call the police, but hey, when you have money I guess you don’t have to really worry about authority like the rest of the world.“That was one hell of a party,” I smiled as I stepped over a victim on the floor in front of the door to the room I woke up in. He was contorted with one of his arms behind his back as he laid on it. It looked painful.  “His ass is going to feel that for a few days.”Since this was the first time I was in this dude’s house, I had no clue as to where the bathroom was located. He had a lot of rooms in this condo. It made me wonder what he was paying for this place.When I located the bathroom I was relieved.  I went in relieved myself, washed my hands and made my way downstairs. Most of the house was still sleep so I walked around as quiet as I could trying to get out as fast as I could.“My movies!” I exclaimed. I covered my mouth to hush my pitch. I was at his front door getting ready to leave when I remembered that I let him hold some of my DVD’s and Blue-Ray’s a few days ago. I needed to get those back. From the look of his house he was not the most organized person. I like to keep my movies and things pristine. Especially since almost everything was digital now. I was collector of movies and music and I rarely let people hold my things. I doubled back and located his entertainment room.“Wow, dude is a slob,” I shook my head. “I guess money can’t buy you cleanliness, but he damn sure had enough to pay someone to clean up this mess. I hope they are on vacation or something.“He doesn’t ever have to worry about me giving him any more of my things ever again. I grumbled as I located a pile of DVD’s and Blue-Ray’s that was piled up with any protection on them. I cringed. I was so pissed that I grabbed the stack of about ten and walked out of his house. I would call him later to get the cases that went with them.I got home laid the discs on my coffee table and quickly prepared myself for work. I was out of my house in record time. I made it to work with a little time to spare. I had a slight hangover and vowed again that I wouldn’t drink a party so hard the next time I went out, but I knew that would be like talking to the wall that I parked my car in front of.*****I got off of the elevator and walked into the office area where I worked with a couple of other Sports Agents and made my way pass the receptionist desk that was made of a circle with offices spread around it. It was a new girl sitting at the desk. For some reason this company couldn’t keep a receptionist too long. She was beautiful and ripe for the picking. I instantly perked up and put a devilishly handsome smile on my face like only I could do. I had a very brief movie of me fucking her over the side of my desk or something like that before for I got up to the desk.“You must be new here, because the sun seemed to be shining a little bit brighter outside. You are like a bright ray of sunshine.” I looked directly into her eyes as I spoke.“Who are you and why are you at my desk?” she spat out. There wasn’t an inkling of a smile on her face.  She was going to be a hard nut to get I see.“I’m sure you’ve heard of me, I’m Alex Black. I’m an agent here. You didn’t see my name on the door to my office?”“You are one of many. How can I help you today?” she asked brushing past what I said. Damn, this girl going hard. Her pussy must be fortified like Fort Knox.  I was going to get the combination to the pussy if it was the last thing I did.  Mind you this was a white chick with this blunt attitude.“Don’t worry you’ll get to know me very shortly. Believe me.” I turned and walked towards my office.“Yeah, okay….keep on believing that,” I heard her say, doubtingly as I walked away.I peeked back over my shoulder and gave her one last look and a wink. She sucked her teeth and continued to do whatever she was doing before I walked up to her desk and apparently into her space. I like a strong woman because they fuck harder and suck harder; like they had a point to prove.  I walked into my office and then flopped down in my highly comfortable chair. I was exhausted. Most of the time, my hangovers consisted of exhaustion.  I was testing the girl out front. I didn’t really want her per se. Well, if the opportunity came along I sure would knock her off but right now I was too tired to do anything. All I wanted to do was go home and sit in front of the television and chill out by myself. But I was at work and I had to do some work. I loved my pay check and the things that it afforded me.I turned on my pc and looked at my schedule for the day. I only had two clients today and I was relieved that it was only minor issues. I might check and see if my boss will let me leave early. It wasn’t long before I my next client came in and I began my work day. All I was thinking about the whole time was making it to the end of the day or my day that is.  
Chapter 11-Jasmine Needy I couldn’t believe it… I just couldn’t believe it. I mean I knew that it was going to happen sooner or later but I can say I was shocked to be sitting back on Alex’s couch and at his request. Rewind about fifteen minutes ago and this is how the scene went down.I was in my apartment lying across the bed daydreaming about my life to be when my front door bell chimed. It startled me because I didn’t get many visitors. I didn’t have many friends.Anyway, I got up and made sure that I looked okay to be answering the door. I had no clue as to who it was.To my surprise, it was Alex standing on the other side of the door. I instantly perked up and opened the door.“Everything okay,” I asked with much concern in my voice. He had a slight frown on his face.“Yes, I need you.” He said with a smile on his face. Damn he had nice smile.“I need you too,” I slipped up and said it back to him. I wanted to bang my head up against the door post for being so stupid.“Huh?” he looked at be in bewilderment. I was so pissed that I began to mumble to myself.“Are you okay?” He asked me with even more confusion on his face.“Yes, I’m sorry. I am having a rough day.” I tried to smile as hard as I could so it would distract him from the fool I made of myself.“That’s understandable.” He smiled back. His smile made me quiver on the inside. He was so damn fine. I wanted to jump on him right here and now and give him the goodies between my legs.  “I need to talk to you for a minute can you come over to my place for a few. I need your help.”“Sure,” I nodded my head. Holding back my excitement was really hard. “Could you give me a few minutes to get decent and then I can come over.”“Yes, sure.” He then turned and went into his apartment and I closed the door to my own.I then ran over to my loveseat and grabbed a pillow and screamed into it with all of my might as if I was a teenage girl dealing with some puppy love.  I could feel my dreams coming true.After about another quick minute I was in bathroom freshening up and then in my closet putting on my best outfit. I exited my apartment and stood in front of his door. My adrenaline was through the roof.  I pushed the button on his door to alert him of my presence and it didn’t take long before he was standing with the door open and his mouth open as well.“Hey,” I gave him a shy and innocent smile and batted my eye lids. I was giving him everything.“Wow…you look….” He didn’t even finish his statement because he was so caught up in my appearance. I had on some pink coochie cutter Victoria Secret sleeping shorts and a mid-drift matching shirt that came down about an inch or two past my cleavage. I never dressed this way in public and all he saw me in most of the time was my scrubs or some regular street wear.   “Thank you,” I smiled again and then tugged at my shirt as if I was trying to make it stay covering my ample breast. They juggled and he smiled as he looked at them lustfully.“You said you needed me,” I reminded him of his request and my dream that was now becoming a reality.“Yes, I…Did.” He said trying to stay focused on my face. “Come in…come on in.” he finally stepped back and let me in his apartment.So here I am now waiting for him to come back in the room. He said he had to use the bathroom, but I knew that his dick was swollen from the outfit that I had on. He had to go in there and calm that bad boy down. I wouldn’t be surprised if he squeezed out a nut while he was in there.  I am woman hear me roar. I laughed at that one myself. It didn’t take him long to make his way back into the room and I could tell that it was hard to control himself around a beautiful woman. He shifted himself a couple of times around as he sat on the couch with me. I was on one side of the couch and he was on the other, but I could tell he wanted to be closer. He wanted to fuck my brains out right here on this couch. I knew it. I could feel it.“So what the problem?” I asked as I looked intently into his eyes.“The problem?” He said like he had no clue as to why I was in his apartment and on his couch with my pussy damn near hanging out. From the way he was looking at me I may involuntarily leave some of my juices right here on the couch. He was turning me on by the way he was looking at me. It was pure lust in his eyes.“Oh, yeah…damn, I lost my train of thought for a moment.”“That happens.” I replied and tugged at my shirt again.“I need you to do me a huge favor.” His monster was growing in his pants and I was hoping he wanted to start working on our family right now. He saw me look but he continued on with what he was saying. “I need you to be my girlfriend.”“Excuse me?” I looked at him in false bewilderment. I almost stripped down out of the little that had on to rock him to sleep better than his mother ever could.“Yes, I need you to be an alibi for me.”“Alibi?” I asked.“Yes, a couple of chicks I screwed ended up dead and I was the last to be with them before they got murdered. The cops had me down the station and everything.” He shook his head. I could see a twinkling of fear in his eye. He looked desperate.“They deserved it…I mean how could they accuse you of such a thing. You are not that type of person.” I needed to get myself together I was slipping up too much.     “I know, right,” he nodded his head. I was so glad he didn’t pay that slip up any mind.“So what do you need me to do?” I asked, bubbling with joy on the inside.“I need you to go down to the station with me and act like I was with you on the days after I was with those chicks. I also need you to keep this between us. My sister and my family don’t need to know about this. You okay with that?”“Sure, that is what friends are for.”“So what can I do for you to return this favor?” He asked.“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s the least that I can do for a friend.”“Now that is what I like to hear. I am so glad I can count on you for this. And I will find a way to pay you back for this.”“Aww, that is so sweet, but you really don’t. Let’s hope you return the favor when I need it.  Let me know when we have to go down to the station and I will be by your side.”“Again, thank you so much." He said as he got up from the side of the couch he was on. I did the same.“I guess I’ll see you later.” I said as I made my way to the door. Everything in was hoping that he came up behind me and forced his tongue down my throat but that did happen. I left of his apartment and walked in to my own with some more plans on my mind. I was so glad that my man was coming to his senses. Who knew that murdering a couple of bitches for him would cause him to get closer to me?  I hoped that he left them shady broads alone and then I wouldn’t have to kill those bitches. Maybe he would be leaving them alone for good and now I could make my move on him so we could be the happy couple that we’re supposed to be.I went to bed a happy camper. I almost couldn’t sleep because of my nagging mother’s voice. I took me a sleeping pill, covered my head with a pillow and drifted off into la la land.




Chapter 13-Ashley                              The Ill Na Na A few days had passed and I was so excited about having dinner with Troy tonight. I was so excited about this relationship. It was so promising. I could see me marrying him and starting a family with him. Sure he had his moments, but I was willing to look past them because I had my own issues going on as well. I think tonight was the night I was going to tell him about my past. I wanted to continue this relationship with honesty like he did with me. No more liesI was sitting at a nice, charming table in the back of a restaurant that was sophisticated and classy. It had white table cloths, candle, soft music playing and low lighting to give off a romantic ambience. It was enchanting as I looked around the room at the twelve or so tables that were spread out across the room. It was an adult atmosphere. I was still in disbelief that I was even in a setting like this one without causing a scene or something. I was a scene maker for sure. Well, at least I was a scene maker. I had grown up some and I was quite proud of my reserved attitude. I was wondering if it was going to last and if me forcing change on myself. Well, time would tell. Troy had texted me a few minutes ago letting me know that he was running late but he was on his way. He was caught up in traffic on I-695. Traffic on I-695 could be problematic if you caught it at the wrong time of day or if accident occurred. I knew that he wouldn’t be here for at least another fifteen or twenty minutes. It was alright with me because I was loving this place and the wine that I ordered was keeping me good company. I loved being an adult. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. I even swayed in my seat a bit.My moment of solitude was interrupted by a tap on my hand that was calmly sitting on the table. My eyes popped open and then I closed them shut again hoping that I was dreaming.This couldn’t be happening. This had to be my karma or something. I couldn’t believe it.Shit! Shit! Shit! I screamed in my head.    I slowly opened up my eyes to the reality before me.“Antoinette,” I spoke as dryly as I possibly could. I wanted her to know that she was not welcomed here. At all. But then I looked at her attire. It was a chefs’ uniform. This bitch, excuse me, woman, worked here. This was her place of employment. Ugh! I would have thought that since this was well outside the city limits that I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew or knew of me, but alas, here I was with a run-in in front of me.“I was having a rough day until I came out here for a break, looked across the room and saw you.” She was smiling like a Chester cat. It made me sick to my stomach. “You a sight for sore eyes, girl. Ump…ump…ump.” She leaned over and looked me up and down from the side. It made me feel creepy.“Really,” It was rhetorical, but I knew this bitch, I mean woman, was going to misinterpret it anyway I said it to her. She is causing me to revert back to my old ways. This is what happens when your past shows up all of a sudden and catches you off guard. They want to drag you backwards. No sah, not today!“Yeah, Girl.” She smiled hard, again. “You got that ill na na.” she even danced a little in her seat to the beat that was probably playing in her head. Truth was it played a little in my head as well. But I moved pass the moment because I wanted her to move on pass this one.“Antoinette, this is not the time for this. Actually, there is no time for this.” I looked at her with as much seriousness that I could muster up. I was hoping that she got the point and moved on graciously and with haste.“Oh, you out on a date?” she looked at me with a little surprise on her face. “You got you a little bitch you about to work over tonight? Y’all want some company? I can’t promise I won’t dominate the scene but I can’t wait to taste you again.”“What!” I looked at her in shock. Every part of that statement was crazy. She looked crazy saying. Her ass had to be about fifty five or older. Who in the hell was she going to toss up. “Are you serious?”“You remember the way I used to do you. I know that you do. There is no denying that you liked it.” She looked at me hoping I was going to bite the bait she was feeding me called memories. “Antoinette, where are we at now?” I asked her.“Huh?” she looked dumbfounded. “We at my job.”“No, boo, we are in the present. You know, the right now. And right now I am not trying to hear all of that. I am glad you have your memories. Try licking on those for old times’ sake. Because you will never taste me again.”“Oh, so it’s like that.” She sat up straight and leaned back further away from me.“I’ve been trying to be nice to you, but you weren’t trying to take the hint. I’m not on that side of the street anymore, if you get my drift.”“Oh really,” she had an even more shocked look on her face now.“Yes, really,” I twisted my lips up giving her the ‘now get the fuck on’ look.“Hey baby, who’s this?” Troy said as he walked up to the table, catching us both off guard.“Oh, ahhh. This is…” My voice trailed off as I looked at Antoinette. “This is a friend of mine.”“Friend?” Antoinette got up and looked at me and then Troy. “We were more than that.” She cocked a slick smile on her face.“Huh?” Troy looked at her and then me in confusion. I wanted to melt like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.“Girl, stop playing,” I reached out and playfully pushed her on the shoulder.“I’m not playing.” She looked at Troy. “She didn’t tell you that she liked pussy?”“Huh?” Troy looked at me confused. I wanted to punch this bitch straight in her mouth. But I kept my cool.“…” I opened my mouth but nothing came out to explain the situation that I was currently in. This was not supposed to go down like this. I so wanted to tell him myself and not have it come to him like it is right now. Yeah, karma was definitely a bitch named Antoinette.“Yeah man, I’m surprised you didn’t see my name tattooed across that twat of hers. I licked her so much she probably still got my tongue print down there. I used to have her twisted up worse than two wrestlers in a ring.” She laughed as she said that.Troy looked at me, waiting for me to say something. I did something that I never did before. I bitched up and I ran. To the bathroom that is. As soon as I got to the bathroom, I checked to see if anyone else was in there with me, after I made sure I was alone, I locked the door. I didn’t know how I was going to show my face again. The look of pure shock on Troy’s face was etched in my mind. He looked like a deer caught in some headlights. Antoinette’s face showed pure satisfaction. I wanted to crawl out of the restaurant on my hands and knees to escape Troy or my truth that was spilled all over that table. Besides my purse was still at the table. I was pissed at myself for not grabbing that before I stormed off. But this whole messed up situation didn’t allow for any thinking.  Just me hauling ass out of there. That was the first time in my life that I ran from anything. I mean I hid some stuff but I didn’t run from anything. I caused people to run, but now the table was turned and here I was huddled up in a bathroom stuck on stupid.There was a knock on the door. I hope it wasn’t someone that really needed to go to the bathroom because she was going to be a pissy or shitty mess waiting for me to come out.There was another knock on the door letting me know that the person wasn’t going away.“Ashley,” Troy’s voice called out from behind the door. I tensed up and got quiet. Maybe he would go away.There was another knock, “Ashley, I know you are in there. Come on out so we can talk. I’m not mad at you.  Come out and talk.”The muscles in my body started to relax. I was still afraid though. Afraid of what he thought of me. Was he going to stop dating me after this? Was he going to believe anything else I said after today? Ashley, get yourself together. It wasn’t a lie. You didn’t tell him everything. You left out some stuff.  People do it all of the time.“Right,” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. “We can get pass this.”I walked over to the door, unlocked it and then opened it. Troy was standing there with a smile on his face, “Hey.”“Hey,” I said back trying to continue to look into his eyes as he did me. “Let’s go back to the table. We can salvage this.” He pulled me by the waist, close to him, and kissed me on the lips.We slowly separated and I looked at him in his eyes, “Okay.”It was the first time I felt good not being in control. It felt fabulous.As we made our way back to the table, me in front of him, there was no one staring at us. I was amazed because I was sure somebody in the restaurant heard the incident.We took our seat and he looked at me for a few moments before he spoke again. I didn’t really have anything to say. I was still in a vulnerable place right now. “Ashley, you have nothing to be ashamed of. We all have a past. My thoughts of you have not changed at all.”“I don’t know what to say,” I looked at him with tears threatening to fall. I was pissed that I was being this emotional right now. This was definitely a first for me.“You don’t have say a thing. It’s behind us. We are moving forward.” He reassured me. The look in his eyes was sincere. It moved me on the inside.I was speechless once again. This moment was too unreal. All this emotion and drama was too much for me at the moment.“Let’s get the waiter over here so we can order and enjoy the rest of our day. It was quite eventful enough for the both of us.” He laughed and I let a smile open up onto my face.  The rest of the night was uneventful and both went our separate ways afterwards. He called to make sure I got home safely and then it was the shower and to bed for me. A good night’s sleep was needed for me.

Coming August 26th, 2014 to a Bookstore or Virtual Store Near You 

James Parks' thriving bloodline, Ashley and Alex Black, have transitioned back to Baltimore living, and the drama they thought was over continues to plague them. It seems like chaos is hardwired in their DNA. 
Ashley is hard at work in her career and is enjoying her new life, but an old flame comes back into the picture and wants to play for keeps. Throw in her boyfriend, Troy, with his own secrets, and her life is pandemonium.
          Alex is a sports agent and a party animal with a libido to match. When he stumbles onto a client with a secret, he has to make a decision: do the right thing or cash in. Toss in a sneaky and relentless stalker named Jasmine, and Alex finds himself dealing with more than he can handle. 
New and old drama collides in this continuing saga of the Black family. Someone wants revenge and is waiting to rid the world of some bad blood. Will Alex and Ashley survive another round of drama?

Available in Paperback, on Kindle and now Audio. click to the link to check it out.
Listen to the book in the car, on the bus, train or just lying in the bed. 14.69 on Amazon and 17.99 on ITunes. If you've never heard a book read by skilled actors, try it now. It is awesome. They are offering a free trial period on Audible.com (first book free). Absolutely no charge. Click this link and get started on this one tonight. A free sample is available as well. Enjoy!

http://www.amazon.com/May-the-Best-Man-Win/dp/B00GHGYC4G/ref=tmm_aud_title_0

So here I am in the bed. It's just past 12:30 and I am wide awake. I'm up thinking about how good God is. Even with the challenges of life I consider myself extremely blessed. Got the new book in the mail today(MAY the Best Man Win) and catapulted my catatonic state of mind to excitement. I opened the book flipped through the pages, laughed at the wild things that I wrote. I felt it like it was a long lost lover....Lol
Seeing the progress of an effort in its entirety is overwhelming. My heart raced as I opened the box and peeked in. For some reason I didn't think it would happen.
Many people don't know that I struggle with confidence and depression in some areas of my life. I am happy, but get easily discouraged and distracted. My mind races all of the time. My state mind can shift in an instant. If I read something on a social site that I don't like or agree with it sends me down a path of overwhelming mental shifting. I am not crazy...Lol just a thinker. I think too much, too long and too hard.
Inadequacies about myself consume me at times.  I'm sure most go through similar things, but it takes away from my productivity.
Then I get depressed about that and ponder on my  self hindrances. Ugh.
I really wonder how I made it through writing my publication. I know it was God that did it. I just simply marvel.
About to turn in now. Peace.

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Synopsis


They say a good man is hard to find. Kardell Spencer and Lewis Turner know this all too well. Neither is lucky in love.Kardell Spencer is a hard-working, successful advertising company owner who has a no nonsense approach to work and professionalism.   Lewis Turner is Kardell’s flamboyant, over-the-top employee. They are polar opposites. Lewis speaks how he feels. Sometimes the things he says are so shocking that they leave people around him gasping for air.Mateo Lopez is a rich, handsome restaurateur and a new client for Kardell Spencer’s company. When he takes a liking to Kardell, Kardell plays hard to get. Never one to miss an opportunity, Lewis quickly moves in and makes a play for Mateo’s attention. It all comes to a head when Kardell and Lewis each find out about the other’s intent for Mateo. Mateo takes control of the situation and proposes a contest to see who will be the best man for him. But Mateo has an ulterior motive that puts both men’s lives in jeopardy.  In May the Best Man Win, two men may find out that winning is not always winning.  




Prologue“What the hell is going on here?” I walked up to the table where my man and my new enemy sat across from each other talking one hand covering the others hands. It was a sign of affection to them but a sign of betrayal to me. There was a few people staring at me and the scene going on, but I didn’t care at the moment. I had completely forgotten my reputation as an upstanding, law abiding citizen and my senses. I was seeing red. I wanted to flip the table over in a tirade. My man looked at me calmly and the ‘enemy’ had an evil smirk on his face. I wanted to smash his head into the glass window and watch the blood run down the side of his face and then do it again. This was my man he had his hand on. He had is filthy, hoeish hands on my man.“Good evening, Kardell. How are you?” No this bitch didn’t just ask me how I am doing while he is sitting across from my man. I didn’t answer him at first because I wanted to retain my dignity and some of my reputation as an upstanding citizen but as they say, shit was about to get real. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” I couldn’t believe I was speaking in such language in front of my man, but I was seething hot and didn’t care at the moment. “My mind is great right now. It couldn’t be better. I’m out with my man and we are have an almost quiet brunch together before you showed up and showed us your ghetto side.” He looked at me and then at my man and then smiled slyly, like he was winning.     “Your man?” I asked, looking at my man waiting for him to answer.  “Did I stutter? You have a degree or two and you mean to tell me that you haven’t grasped all of the English language?” Lewis said sarcastically.  “How could he be your man if you didn’t want him?”“You’re in my business and I’m about to be in yours.” I threatened.  “Like I said, my man and I are enjoying ourselves and we don’t want the interruptions so we would appreciate it if you found you a man, if you can, and leave us two lovers alone.”“Are you forgetting the fact that you work for me and not the opposite?” I stated matter-of-factly.  “Is that a threat?…Are you threatening me?” He turned towards me in his seat as if he was about get up. I took a step back just in case he was about to swing or something. I can say I wasn’t planning on this shit to happen today. I guess there was something that could change my mood today. I never thought in a million years  that it would be this. “It is what it is,” I replied. “Excuse me is everything okay over here?” A male and female member of the museums security walked up to us. The male asked the question.“No everything is fine…Just a little miscommunication.” Mateo finally decided to talk by answering the officers. “Kardell have a seat so we can discuss this rationally.” His smile and calming voice was all I needed to hear so I hesitantly pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. I was breathing hard and looking at Lewis’ ass was not making it any better. “Okay, any more profanity or arguing and we will have to ask you to leave the grounds. This is a family friendly environment and we like to keep it that way. Have a great day at the Walter’s Art Gallery fellas.” They walked off and left us to hash out the mess that we were in.
“Gentleman this is entirely my fault. I wasn’t being honest with either of you. I like both of you and couldn’t decide on which one of you to see exclusively. You two are very good looking guys and it is hard to decide when two guys meet my standards. I like you both.”  He looked at both of us, one to the other, intensely. I was shocked at what I was hearing. Here I am thinking I am the only one and he is dating Lewis and me. I wanted to get up and walk out and leave them both here looking stupid, but that would only make Lewis the winner and I wasn’t going out like that. I found him first. The truth is I probably fucked myself by seeming uninterested in Mateo when I first met him and denying that attraction to Lewis. His fast ass swooped right in and made his move. I had to give it to him he was a go getter. I guess he was looking for love too. It just happened to be the same guy I was interested in. “Mateo, it okay,” I spoke up first. “It can happen to anyone.” “Yes, I forgive you.” Lewis stated, and then reached his hand across the table and placed it on Mateo’s hand that was resting on the table. I reached over knocked it off and placed my hand on his. I know it was petty and downright childish, but I wasn’t giving up that easily. Pretty soon were pushing each other’s hand off of Mateo’s before he finally pulled his hand back. “No need to fight fellas, I have a great way to solve this dilemma.” He looked at both of us and smiled. “Since I can’t possibly choose between the both of you I propose a contest of sorts to see who the best man for me is. I love games and why shouldn’t life be interesting.”“A Game?” I spoke hesitantly.  “Yes, I know it is totally unconventional, but I think it would be fun to have a little friendly contest. Think of it as American Idol for dating.” He laughed lightly.  “I’m game if he’s game,” Lewis looked at me sharply. I eyed him back in the same manner. “But you can’t take it out on each other at work.”  We both nodded our heads yes even though I knew that it was going to be hard to keep this from spilling over into the work atmosphere. “Great. It will take me a few days to think about what I want to do, but expect a text with the first challenge.” He said getting up from the table. “I’m looking forward to this. Have a great day gentleman.” We both watched him walk off and then we looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. “May the best man win.” I stuck my hand out to shake Lewis’ hand. He hesitantly did the same before he said the same, “May the best man win.” 

           Okay , so it is 2013 and I am a few months away from my fifth full length novel being released( May The Best Man Win -August 27th 2013).
            I sit back from time to time and think about the process of writing Both Sides of the Fence 1(January-May-2008
) and I smile because it was new and scary to let someone read something I had written. Positive review followed and then you spring forward a few weeks and i was being offered a two book deal/contract. That was exciting and very scary. I didn't have a clue of what to do next. Yes or no? Do i take it or leave it? Well after talking to tons of people in the industry, my pastor and my best friends, I apprehensively signed on.
           Fast forward to where i am now; a writer that is still learning to focus, fuse and forge ahead. I am working on a novel that i hope to finish in four more months. I think several times during the writing process, trying to get that high back from my first breakout character, James Parks, A supreme Antagonist. I didn't know that he would take over the series and forge a small spot in the minds of readers forever. He was 'something else' as tons of readers say to me. But, i was just writing him. I was in sync with him and his story, because he was me on some levels, many levels. No i didn't threaten to tear the lives of a husband and wife apart and do all sort of unthinkable trickery but ...lol.... I did some stuff. :)
          So i want  every character or characters to have that same fire that i brought with James, Mona, Shawn, and the rest of the characters of 'The Both Sides of the Fence Trilogy. The problem is that i can't and no matter how hard i try it just doesn't happen. And guess what, i am glad that i stop trying with my other works of fiction. It was futile to say the least. Now I sit back and just let it flow. i have fun and let my characters have fun. i take my time. I don't rush it, well sometimes, if i'm behind on a deadline. But even then some of my most outrageous drama comes during crunch time.
        Over time i have learned that writing fiction, stories and even this blog, takes time. I don't like to wait, like my readers, but i have no choice in the matter. Rushing a product can lead to bad results and loss of readership.
         I also think of my catalog of fiction, short stories, anthologies, and full length novels and awe at the twelve titles that I written or collaborated in. It seems small to me at times and in comparison to some other authors, but many would say that it was a great feat for anyone to have twelve titles circulating in a five year span.
         So now after 5 years some would say that i have a career on my hands. A career that i didn't have a plan to seek out or conquer because yes i believe i conquered me and stepped out of the box to write about a still very taboo subject. Who cares, is what i say most of the time. But over time i have learned that plenty of people care and plenty of people share their stories after reading one of my own.
       The money you make from books is really, really, nice after a really really long time...lol. But getting great feedback and gaining new friends and confidantes makes it that much more exhilarating. Sure you get some people that may strongly disagree with what you write, how you write, grammar  story line ...blah, blah, blah, but it is the whole experience, to me, that makes it worth it. It is WORK to start, continue and finish a project, but finishing is such a great feeling. Sometimes i fumble over what's next even when it comes to story lines and such but after having a mental gun held to my head i get it moving and press through each page.  I take week or month long breaks because sometime i just have to walk away from it all and live my life 'book drama' free...lol. Then when i get back at it  it's like a fresh loaf of bread going through the oven of my mind and waiting to be served, hot, to the readers.
        Being a writer takes up so much of your time, especially the marketing part, I hate it. It is fruitful after the fact but after doing book signings, updating websites, reading/writing blogs, appearing on radio shows, online mags, Facebook-ing, Twitter-ing, Instagram-ing, LinkedIn-ing, and so many other sites, i get fatigued and turned off of people and the world wide web. Then i shut down and shut out for a few day, which means i stay in the house, when i'm off, for days at a time. I mean no going outside at all, well, maybe a Wal-mart run, but other than that it's adios amigos..lol.

This is my latest rant for now. hope you enjoyed! Until next time...Peace.

This will be a random post and all over the place...lol. Bare with me.
           
               So I turned 34 yesterday, and I had time to sit back and reflect over my life. Me and one of my best friends were out eating and we were talking about aspirations and where we were a few years back versus where we are now in life. We both talked about regrets and some shoulda, woulda, coulda's, but then came to the realization that we have come a long way and we have grown as individuals. Neither one of us thought that we would be were we are right now(single). We concluded that we are not miserable or really lacking it just that there are some thing that we would like to accomplish that we thought we would have accomplished by now. She has a car, a great job, and friends, but is still looking for companionship in someone with solid values and moral, with the understanding that they will come with some baggage. I on the the other hand was just wondering if I was really doing what I am supposed to be doing career-wise (being an author). I mean I love the experience and I can say that I am successful, but is this what I want to be doing permanently? I am still unsure of this. I mean I have aspirations as a singer, musician and songwriter. Didn't really want to be famous or a household name, but just successful in my own right. Some days I see that happening and others I just don't see it.
         Anyway, I am also working on getting my credit right and such straight and God knows it has been tough, but successful. I am 34 and my 'credit' is almost clear, but my score is horrible...lol. Which leads me to establishing some credit. A car. But first I need to get the license and things just don't seem to be going as fast as I want it to go. I get frustrated that it's not, but I believe in the old adage that says 'good things come to those who wait'. Well, waiting is not on my list of best character traits. I'm patient, but sometimes i can have an adult tantrum(in my mind). but, I have no choice but to wait and be patient. So, i'm expecting some more newness in my life. I have 9 publications out and some more planned for the future. My vocal abilities are changing for the better and I am starting to feel more comfortable sing around strangers and messing up in front of them. I can say what a relief that it is to not really care what people think about my gifts and just share them and move on. Again, I am expecting newness in the coming months. some fresh starts, better relationships, opportunities and meeting new people. One...Two...Three.....Newness!

Prologue 

Blind as a Bat

James

Summer 2005

“Stop calling me, BITCH!” he yelled at me through the phone. I was devastated because this nigga was the first guy I fucked with on a serious tip and he screwed me over big time.
“Where’s my fuckin money at, muthafucka?” I yelled back at him with fury in my voice and tears streaming down my face.
Click. 
“Hello, Hello.” 
“If you would like to make a call please hang up and try again,” the automated message played in my ear. I looked at the phone in disbelief. “I know this muthafucka ain’t just hang up on me.” 
Tyrone and I were in love and had planned on moving in together. I trusted him since the first day we met. I meet him while working at my job at Target. We worked in the same store but in separate departments. I stumbled on to this down low brotha that worked in the music section of the store. His ass played me from the beginning. The first week we met, his ass said he needed money to get his car fixed and if I did we would drive to work together everyday. So I forked over two hundred and fifty dollars from my next paycheck. His car never got fixed and the mass transit bus services continued to be my mode of transportation. I was green as the grass on the lawn of the white house but, I was “in love” so I ignored the red flags that were being waved in my face. 
After a short while this nigga just up and quits working and started collected money from me like he was on social security and I was his beneficiary. I gave him three hundred dollars every other week to save for our love nest. After a while the only time this nigga would call me was the day before payday and that was just to butter my ass up with statements like “you my baby,” or “I love you so much.” 
Man, I was a dumb ass fool. Eventually, my giving him my money caused me to get evicted from my own spot and I had to shack up in my aunt’s house on one of her kids’ pissy ass twin bed. Her house was kid and roach infested, but I stayed because Tyrone said we would be “moving” into our own place very soon. He said he was going to hold me all night and we could fuck any time we wanted to and shit like that. I sucked that shit up like a Hoover vacuum. 
This nigga had a three-inched dick and he didn’t even know how to fuck. When I looked back on the situation I shook my head because, I musta been blind as Ray Charles in a blackout. This nigga said he lived in his “sister’s” house but, he had my ass sneaking in the house after she went to work and her kids went to school. He would make sure I was in and out of the house in less than a half hour so no one would catch me leaving his house. Shit, we didn’t even need that much time. His ass would cum after only a couple of pumps in my ass. He then would make me clean myself up in a couple of seconds, literally, and then push my ass out the door. Sorry ass muthafucka didn’t even say goodbye most of the time. I had a better time fucking my mother’s big black plastic dick she had under her mattress when I was a teenager. 
After about a year of this-merry-go round shit, some of my close friends began to tell me things like “I was getting played” and “that nigga spending ya money on some other chick or dude.” I still didn’t wanna believe my friends so I kept on “dating” him. I even walked to work a couple of times, which was about an hour and a half walk. And that was because I was giving this nigga my money to put in a bank account and he said he couldn’t go to the bank to get me bus fare, out of our money. I just brushed it off because he said he was teaching me how to be responsible with money. Yeah, his ass was schooling me good. His ass took me for about nine grand in about a year and a half time. I finally wised up and saw what was before my eyes the whole time. He was a low down dirty bastard that played me like I was a puppet. I was a lemon being squeezed for all I was worth. 
Come to find out that muthafuckin Tyrone had his own place and a car the whole time we were “together”, while I was moving back and forth from my aunt and my sister’s house because they took turns putting me out. And to top it off this nigga had somebody else on the side, his wife. I was devastated, so I called him on all of it and he denied all of it. So I broke it off and demanded my money back. He tried to act like he was too hurt to give me my money back and that he really loved me and wanted me back. He would call my cell and work phone and try to convince me that I was making a mistake of dumping him. I finally realized that this nigga was living off of my money, which happened to be all gone, the whole time. This nigga had a wife and kids and he couldn’t keep a job. That was why he was calling me because he wasn’t working and his bills were becoming due again. His wife must didn’t know about his sorry ass, but I did. I had my mind made up and his ass was ancient history. 
Tired of the life in San Francisco I decided to move cross the country to Baltimore in search of a new life and revenge on any unsuspecting man that crosses my path. Whoever he was he’s going to pay and pay big. I’m taking revenge on all the down-low brothas I meet. I am going to get my money back, plus some.
“Hello,” A strange but polite female answered Tyrone’s house phone. I had Googled his ass on the Internet and I found his house phone number and when I finally found it decided I was going to do a hit and run. I was sitting outside their happy home waiting to make my move. “Yeah, this muthafucka is going to get payback one way or the other.” I thought to myself
“Who am I speaking with?” I asked in a tone matching hers. 
“I’m Michelle,” she said in an upbeat manner. 
“His wife?” I quizzed her. 
“Why yes, and you are?” She questioned me. 
“Oh, I’m Jerry.”
“Well Jerry, how can I help you?” she said, following up with another question.
“Well, I just called to tell you that your husband Tyrone and I have been fucking for about a year and half now and I just wanted to let you know where your husband was when he said he was away on business trips.” I blurted it out without any care for her feelings.
“He…he…what?” she stammered in disbelief. “Tyrone, my Tyrone?” she said for clarity.
“Yeah Bitch, ya faggot ass husband Tyrone Jenkins, was at my house in my bed eating my ass and sucking my big black dick while you was at home taking care of his kids” I made it crystal clear. She let out a loud gasp.
“What kind of sick joke is this?” I just continued on talking. 
“This ain’t no joke, cunt, and just in case you don’t believe me, here’s proof, bitch.” I yelled in the phone as I threw the DVD and pictures of me and Tyrone fucking tied to a brick through their front window. His ass didn’t know I was a freak by nature and recorded our little sex sessions. I even took pictures of him sleeping after we fucked. I was doing this so I could keep the memories, but I never knew I would have to use them too pay him back for the ultimate betrayal.

I pushed the gas peddle in my rental car and peeled off. I looked through my rear view window. I could see a woman in the door holding the home wrecking package in her hand. I still had my cell phone on so I added more salt to the open wound.
“I loved the satin comforter set on your bed. It felt so good and soft against my skin as Tyrone fucked me in every position on it,” I said, knowing she still had the phone in her hand, because I heard her heavily breathing. “Oh, and give Tyrone and the boys a kiss goodbye for me.”
“How could you, how could you, you fucking no good bastard!!” I heard her yelling in the background at who I assumed was Tyrone. She dropped the phone and all hell broke loose, I heard loud noises like shit crashing and being thrown. I let out a loud cackling laugh as I hung up my cell phone and headed towards the airport. I walked through the airport to my gate and got on my plane to Baltimore, leaving all my shit behind. I burst out into laughter to myself all through the flight knowing Tyrone’s ass is probably still getting fucked up by his wife as I made my way across the country. I know people thought I was crazy, but I could care less. I was deeply hurt by Tyrone and he walked all over my heart like I was a door mat. He was the one that I thought would give me the love I so desired, the love that I needed so bad to live off of. It was also the love that my father and my uncle took from me when they took my manhood.
As I got off the plane and headed to the baggage claim area I thought to myself about the hurt I endured at the hands of a heartless man in California. My anger had boiled over to rage and I knew for sure that these niggas in Baltimore better watch the fuck out. A new bitch was in town and I was gonna get mine. They say ain’t nothing like a woman scorned. Fuck that shit. How about ain’t nothing like a bisexual-down-low-brotha-who-was-fucked-over- with-no-grease scorned. The women in this city better hold on to their men tight, cuz I’m taking brothas for all their money and their hopes and dreams too. Fuck families, get money. Holla! 

Shawn


Freaks Come Out At Night

“Um yeah Suck Daddy’s big ass dick, ya slut,” I moaned and thrusted my dick as this queen was going to town. My dick was close to nine inches long and five inches around curved to the left with a mushroom shaped head and this bitch ass nigga was taking in all my meat like a shelter in the winter that was housing the homeless. Slurp, slurp, slurp, was the sound of him going down on my dick after he spit on it making it, easier to bob up and down on. He was slurping, sucking and licking my chocolate stick while squeezing at my balls at the same time. 
He was sucking my prick so good that I was thinking “This nigga musta taught that ‘Superhead’ bitch her moves”. He was treating my shit like it was a Tootsie roll pop and he was trying to see how many licks it was going to take to get the center. He was bobbing up and down my pipe for about fifteen minutes and my shit was about to pop. This faggot had my ass drooling and foaming at the mouth he was so good. “Damn this shit feels good.” I moaned as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. 
“Ah shit, ah shit, man. I’m about to cum,” I yelled as he pulled up and let my dick explode like a volcano that has been dead for centuries. As my cum squirted in his watering mouth he swallowed all my man juices like he was a fat girl drinking Slimfast and needed to lose fifty pounds by next week. 
“Ahhhh milk does a body good,” he said as he licked his lips catching the little bit of cum that oozed from the side of his mouth with his tongue. This guy was a total queer. I had to get the hell away from him and fast. I zipped up my pants and handed him his forty dollar fee. I had to make up some excuse to get this faggot out of my car. 
“Look man I need to go home I gotta feed my dog, and if I don’t get home soon he’s gonna start tearing up my shit,” I lied knowing good and well I don’t own any fucking pets. 
“Oh, okay honey” he said in a feminine voice. “If you ever need me again here’s my card,” With that, he climbed out the car. I know his trick ass ain’t’ got no card. “Slurpologist”. I said reading his card. “What the fuck.” His number is 410-eat-meat.” I said to myself in disbelief. “Let me get the fuck out of this place, before someone I know sees my ass.” I put my car in reverse and turned around and I got my ass outta dodge, leaving the man-whore in my dust.
I can’t believe I was just in Druid Hill Park getting my dick waxed. During the day Druid Hill Park was a family park where joggers jog around the reservoir carefree and pet owners walked their pets in crisp cool air, while teenagers shot hoops on the various basketball courts scattered throughout the park. But at night deep in the secluded parts of the park cars were lined up waiting for as the songs goes “the freaks too come out at night.”
Men and women waited for tricks to pull up to make some quick cash performing various sexual acts for any willing “John or Joanna” that displayed interest. I was supposed to be at work, working late, but here I am in the woods. I need to leave this shit alone. 
As I was driving my phone started to ring. I looked down and noticed it was my wife calling. She was probably wondering what was taking mo so long to get home. 
“Hey, baby,” I said, answering the phone with my Bluetooth. 
“Hey baby, it’s eleven o’clock, are you on your way home?” she asked. “Yeah I just left the office.” I lied. 
“Really, I called your cell phone twice and it just rang.” 
“Oh, I left my phone in the car.” I lied once again knowing I couldn’t just tell her that some queen was giving me some bomb ass head and I was ignoring her calls. 
“Well, I called your office phone and that phone just rang as well” She quizzed me again. “Oh I was working in my bosses’ office, because my pc was on the fritz.” I lied again.
“Oh, Okay.” she said with a hint of unbelief. “Anyway I was just calling to tell you to stop by Shoppers and pick up some milk for the kids breakfast.” 
“Sure, Baby. Is there anything else we need?” I said feeling guilty for messing around on my wife. And to make it worst it was with a man. 
“No, babe that’s all,” she said her loving tone.
For as long as I can remember I had been fighting off the raging monster in me. I finally gave into my urges one day in high school with another down low dude that was in my gym class. He gave me my first blowjob in the locker room and I have never been the same since. I mean I love my wife and all, but I got this beast in me that gets hungry and doesn’t quit until it’s been fed. 
I am a good husband and an even better father to my two kids, Ashley and Alex, my six-year-old twins. My family is my world and I would lay down my life for anyone of them. I just need to get some counseling or something so I can get rid of this demon. I know I can beat this and get my life back on track.
“Let me get to this market and get home to my wife,” I said out loud as I made my way to the market and then home.


Chapter 1


Shawn


My First Mistake

3 years later… Spring 2008

I looked out the window of my twelfth floor office, admiring the view of the city of Baltimore. It’s my home and I loved it. Yes, it was one of the nations leading cities in crime, but hell it was home to me. It was the home of tens of thousands of people. Drug addicts, prostitutes, drug dealers and many other degenerates. But on the up side, we have a bustling Harbor district filled with shops and attractions that makes us a thriving city. We have summers filled with tourist that flood the city with hopes of getting to feast on the best crab cakes and beer and enjoy a good baseball game at Camden Yards. 
We had some of the top colleges and universities right within the city limits. It was a beautiful city when you really looked around and took advantage of the sites. But, if you were a stranger just moving here, watching the news just might scare the shit out of you. Sending you packing back to where ever you came from. Yes, this city wasn’t for the faint of heart. And the crime was almost unheard of, but it was my home. And you couldn’t tear me away from it.
I was a criminal defense lawyer and I loved it. It wasn’t the most glamorous of jobs, but it was a living. A six figure living I might add. I lived in an upper-class three bedroom detached house in Randallstown, so I really didn’t get to experience the “city” life, until I’ve commuted into the city for work. 
I work with what most people would call the “low-lifes” of the city and I was happy to do it. Guilty or not, I got you off. I had a high success rate and was making my way up the ranks. I was pushing to make partner at my firm. Grueling hours and multiple cases were worth providing for my family. It was the reason I woke up everyday and pressed my way to work. I lived and breathed family. So why is it so hard for me to look in the mirror some days?
To start I was deceiving my family and it was killing me inside. I lived and breathed deception and I was taught it at a young age. It’s probably why I am excelling so well at my job. I specialized in lying to other and mostly myself.
My life was torn into two lives and no one knew that I am living a double life. Most called it the down-low lifestyle, but I called it the low-down lifestyle. Because most days I feel like I am more corrupt then the people I represent. You wouldn’t know that if you looked at me, because I get away with a lot of shit. You couldn’t see the pain and anguish that I masked so well. But again, that was because I learned to hide it well at an early age. In my house as a child, no always didn’t mean no. I learned to dress in fine clothes and shoes to hide my reality. So I covered my pain in Versace and Fendi. 
This is my life on….. Both sides of the fence.








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Chapter 1     Shawn    Off the WagonOct 28th, 2018...10:15 Pm BOOM!!!I had hit the ground with a thud, but I didn’t feel it. I was numb from the alcohol I was drinking. I had been sneaking off to this bar called Naughty’s on Reisterstown Rd.  I had been cheating on my wife again, but this time with liquor. I had beaten the demon that was my homosexual desires, but unleashed another one, the bottle.Ever since I found out that the kids I have been raising are not mine, I just sunk deeper into depression. I still love Mona, but sometimes I just can’t seem to look at her. Ashley and Alex are sixteen now and are shining stars in high school. They are sure to go on to some prestigious college of their choice.  Little Diana is ten and blossoming as she grows more intelligent with her mind as the days go by. James still haunts me every time I look at Alex because as he grows, he was becoming a splitting image of James. “Yo, you alright?” a thuggish looking guy said as he helped me back on my stool. “Yeah, man, just a little too much to dringg.” I slurred my words. “Thanks for the help, partner.” I got back on my seat and proceeded to order another drink. I felt my bladder about to explode so I got up and stumbled to the bathroom to take a piss. I had been in the bar for over an hour and I already had five drinks. I stumbled my way to the urinal and unleashed my dick out from behind my zipper. “Ahhhhhhh!” I said as I put one hand on the wall to hold myself up while I held my dick in the other hand as I relieved myself into the urinal. “Nice piece you got there,” I heard someone say. I looked to the left of me still a little unfocused and noticed the thuggish guy standing next to me with his tongue wagging like a dog in need of water. “Yeah, man, whatever,” I said, brushing him off and zipped my pants up.“Man, you know you want this mouth on your dick. I’ll give you a blow job your grandfather could feel.” He said with the look of lust in his eyes as he moved closer towards me. I glanced around and to see if we were alone. I looked him up and down and noticed this dude was seriously flirting with me in a bathroom at a straight bar. This dude was a straight-up thug type dude that you see on the block hustling rocks. He was built like a pro wrestler and I knew he was strong because I could see his pecks through his loose fitting shirt. When I pushed passed him trying to make my exit, he grabbed my arm and threw me against a wall and kissed me with a deep passionate kiss forcing his tongue in my mouth. As his tongue explored my mouth, I continued to struggle for control of the situation. He finally let up and looked me in the eyes. “Yo, come, on man. Let me help you with that.” the thug said as he grabbed my dick and massaged it through my pants.“You know you want it,” he said as he squeezed my now throbbing dick again.  I looked around again, hoping no one would come in and see this dude grabbing my dick. This muthafucka is serious.  I struggled even more now because I was getting weaker by the moment and the demon that I thought I had beaten was fighting to taking over once again.He then pushed me into an empty stall and forcefully yanked my pants down. I was in shock and awe. This dude was manhandling me and I couldn’t do anything to stop him. He was stronger than me and the alcohol had me discombobulated to the point where I staggered a little.  He turned me around bent me over and proceeded to eat me out right there in the bathroom.“Yeah, man this ass looks good,” he said as he parted my ass cheeks and played with my ass with his finger. He took his time and slowly eased his tongue in and out of me. My hormones took over and went into full throttle and I voluntarily pushed my ass towards his face as he dove deeper into my ass. After about ten minutes of him devouring my ass for a midnight snack, he turned me back around facing him and stroked my dick slowly until I was hard as steel. He then eased my dick in his warm mouth and slowly worked my whole length down his throat. “Ahhhhh,” I moaned as he swallowed me faster and faster. I continued to moan uncontrollably, holding on to the wall trying to stabilize myself.  With one quick motion, he took my dick in his mouth until his mouth reached my balls. I put my hands around his now inflated throat and fucked his face like a wet pussy, watching his throat expand and deflate. I finally reached my climax as he once again jammed my dick down his throat one last time. “OHHHHHHH...DAMN!”  I yelled as he swallowed all my seed without leaving a drop. I pulled out and let my dick hang as I tried to catch my breath. He wiped his mouth and burped letting me know that he enjoyed his protein shake. “Thanks, yo,” he said as he got up and left the stall, leaving me with my pants around my ankles. After a few minutes, I slowly pulled my pants up and made my way out of the bathroom. I stumbled through the bar that was now almost empty and noticed a few people staring. The music was now off but I didn’t know how long it had been off. Oh, shit! I hope they didn’t hear us. I avoided eye contact as much as possible, hoping nobody heard all the commotion going on in the bathroom. I quickly grabbed my coat off the bar stool that I sat on and made my exit in shame. *** I pulled up to my house at about ten until eleven and turned the ignition to the car off. I was in the driveway and I noticed the lights to the house were on, but I was not ready to face my family yet.  I reclined the car seat as far as it could go back and laid there for a minute to get myself together.  I was tipsy on alcohol and overcome with emotion.  I couldn’t control either, they were getting the best of me more and more as time went by.  Here it is 2018 and it seem like I was still back in 2008. Technology had progressed some, but shit cars weren’t flying and I was still attracted to men.  You would have thought I was over this shit by now. All the episodes of my past started to pop in my head. Meeting James in the parking garage, finding out James was fucking my wife,  me fucking my father for screwing me up as a child and as an adult, him returning the favor at the fuckfest James threw for me, finding out my mother knew about my father molesting me all the time, and the worst was finding out my kids weren‘t mine and that they were fathered by my fuck-buddy, James Parks. It was all coming back to me now. My ass should be in a padded room with a straight jacket on dreaming about bunny rabbits or some shit.  After all that, I should be leaving this faggot mess alone. But it just wasn’t that easy; it seemed like the more I tried to remove myself, the more dick and ass were being thrown at me.  On my lunch breaks, in meetings and even a couple of my clients were shamelessly throwing themselves at me.  I had to take my secretary, Renee, with me almost everywhere -lunch breaks and even the bathroom, just to keep myself grounded. She was  like a bull dog, so I knew I could trust in her to have my back. But, she refused to go with me to the bar and tonight of all nights was the night I needed her to be with me. “Ump-Ump-Ump,” I shook my head in disgust with myself.  “It is what it is.”I pushed the button next to the seat to raise myself back up to an upright position and made my way out of my brand new all black BMW. It was fall and the driveway and walkway towards my house were littered with leaves. I made a mental note to get Alex to rake and bag the leaves. I looked up at my house and thanked God for letting me arrive home safely once again. I was blessed beyond measure, but I wasn’t acting like it.  I was a very successful lawyer and I needed to start acting like one. I sluggishly walked into a totally quiet house. Everybody must have been asleep, so I parked myself on the living room sofa, cut the television on and just stared at it.

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