Lena Matthews's Blog

So I'm watching Supernanny with Avery and Nanny Jo finds a condom in the 13 year old's room. Avery says "what's a condom" I'm like "uhhh it's birth control that men use." She looks confused, so i try again. "Um... it's like.. it's this plastic latex thing that they put over their penis." She ran from the room with her hands over her ears....yep...that went well

It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word. ~Andrew Jackson

Some Jehovah Witness's came a calling today. I was not in the mood. I tried to be polite and just say no thank you but they kept talking. I finally just said, "I can't find comfort in a religion that won't allow me to celebrate my birthday or even celebrate Jesus' birthday." Then I slammed the door. They're probably still out there praying for me.

I've had unpure thoughts about Joseph Gordon-Levitt again.....

"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." - Kurt Vonnegut

I've been thinking of getting a breast reduction, but then my oldest who was having a bad day, came and sat down next to me and laid her head on my breasts and said "Mom, I love your boobs. They're the best pillows and they make me feel better." Now what kind of mommy would I be if I got rid of the best pillows that have the magical powers to make an 8 year old feel instantly better.

‎"I never laid a hand on her in anger. Not one time, R.L. Not even when I was drinking. But this here business has me wondering what a good shake and slap will do for her." - Lazarus

Just watched Dirty Dancing. *happy sigh* If I, as a writer, could write a book that made people feel the way watching Dirty Dancing makes me feel, I'd die (many many many many years from now of course) a happy person. "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." I still don't know what the hell that means, but I'd be damned if I don't sigh every time I see that part.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SLWzZ...

I have officially reached the end of the internet. I found a website called Christian Nymphos. The tag line is "Married Sex: Spicy, the way God intended it to be!"