Ed Kovacs's Blog

I’m heading to China soon to do some research for my next Sky Wilder novel, THE BONE HOARDE, the follow up to my just-released REVISED EDITION e-book, UNSEEN FORCES .

I’ll have to make good use of my time, and since I’m only bringing a carry-on bag, I need to pack strategically. Meaning I need to have the right tools with me.

And that reminds me of this piece I recently wrote for The Hit List:

My career as a thriller novelist has taken me conduct research in some pretty sketchy locations, from rebel jungles in Asia, to gang hangouts in East LA, to bunkers brimming with weapons in the Middle East—and then there was the dangerous stuff…

Since I usually need to get in and out of a place quickly, having the right tools makes all the difference:

Camcorder Watch:

Sometimes I need to take clandestine video. Being obvious about recording border crossings, military facilities, or a reluctant source, can cause problems fast. While many of the cheaper Asian-made camcorder watches available online are of so-so quality or are hard to use, the prices are right and they do work. Keep in mind that the unit should look just like a regular watch—so think twice before getting the Apple Watch.

2. Travel Computer:

Writers need a close approximation to real keyboards: I travel with a Samsung Galaxy Tab S and an external keyboard in a folding case. The SD card is 16GB and I use Polaris Office for simple word processing. For heavy writing on the road, I like a larger screen and/or the ability to connect to an external monitor, but I still need a lightweight machine. I like the 13.3″ MacBook Air or the awesome Dell XPS 13.

3. Smartphone:

Back in the 1990s I yearned for an all-in-one device—the digital equivalent of a Multi-Tool. Now I have several unlocked world phones and a large collection of Internet-friendly SIM cards from multiple countries. My smartphones give me the Web, GPS, camera, camcorder, audio recorder, word processing, flashlight, and apps ad infinitum, like CamScanner which turns my phone into a document scanner.

How did I ever live without one, especially while doing research? I use a rugged, waterproof case, such as an Incipio Atlas to protect my babies from a hard-charging lifestyle.

4. External Power:

In Kazakhstan I bought an external power unit that had a small solar panel built in for charging. That’s nice, but my favorite big-boy back-up power source is a Samsung 9500 mAh Battery Pack. A smaller but still nifty unit is a EMTEC Power Pouch 6000 mAh.

5. Encrypted Memory Stick:memory-stick

I have too many passwords to remember them all, and writing them down is risky. I also load my secret stick with contact info, passport/visa stamp/credit and debit card scans, and other sensitive info. I wear mine around my neck so my latest photos and word files stay near and dear. Consider getting the Aegis Secure Key 3.0. It’s PIN-activated with its own alphanumeric keypad for physical security. This baby is super secure right now.

6. Secure Bags:

Pacsafe has been making sturdy, secure travel bags and accessories for years. I’ve had my backpack on countless deployments and overseas trips. A removable insert is lined with steel cable mesh and cinches with a padlock at the top, making it a travel safe that’s slash-proof.

7. Four-Cipher Locks:

The most common locks are three-cipher locks that only have 999 possible combinations, and a crooked hotel maid could defeat that in less than thirty minutes. Use four-cipher locks to keep all valuables locked up when you’re out interviewing a source.

8. Hide Safes:

We’ve all see the soda cans that have a secret screw-off bottom revealing a secret stash area. So have the crooks. And believe me, if you find yourself in a dicey situation requiring some juice, nothing says “Get me the hell out of here!” better than a crisp $100 bill waved at the right person.

I hide a couple of Benjies in a hard eyeglass case; remove the lining, insert cash, reseal with rubber cement. Put an old pair of extra glasses in the case for good measure. Or buy a Hidden Safe Spy Bolt.

9. Tactical Pen:

While it may seem old school, writers still need to carry a writing implement that isn’t dependent on zeroes and ones, and cheap pens aren’t dependable. So why not carry a pen that packs a lot more bang for the buck? I always carry a tactical pen that offers more versatility. It’s a very bright flashlight, a window-breaking tool for emergencies, and can be used in self-defense as a striking/slashing weapon. And it writes great!

Yes, I like gadgets, but always remember: the best gadget is the human brain.

I’m heading to China soon to do some research for my next Sky Wilder novel, THE BONE HOARDE, the follow up to my just-released REVISED EDITION e-book, UNSEEN FORCES .

I’ll have to make good use of my time, and since I’m only bringing a carry-on bag, I need to pack strategically. Meaning I need to have the right tools with me.

And that reminds me of this piece I recently wrote for The Hit List:

My career as a thriller novelist has taken me conduct research in some pretty sketchy locations, from rebel jungles in Asia, to gang hangouts in East LA, to bunkers brimming with weapons in the Middle East—and then there was the dangerous stuff…

Since I usually need to get in and out of a place quickly, having the right tools makes all the difference:

Camcorder Watch:

Sometimes I need to take clandestine video. Being obvious about recording border crossings, military facilities, or a reluctant source, can cause problems fast. While many of the cheaper Asian-made camcorder watches available online are of so-so quality or are hard to use, the prices are right and they do work. Keep in mind that the unit should look just like a regular watch—so think twice before getting the Apple Watch.

2. Travel Computer:

Writers need a close approximation to real keyboards: I travel with a Samsung Galaxy Tab S and an external keyboard in a folding case. The SD card is 16GB and I use Polaris Office for simple word processing. For heavy writing on the road, I like a larger screen and/or the ability to connect to an external monitor, but I still need a lightweight machine. I like the 13.3″ MacBook Air or the awesome Dell XPS 13.

3. Smartphone:

Back in the 1990s I yearned for an all-in-one device—the digital equivalent of a Multi-Tool. Now I have several unlocked world phones and a large collection of Internet-friendly SIM cards from multiple countries. My smartphones give me the Web, GPS, camera, camcorder, audio recorder, word processing, flashlight, and apps ad infinitum, like CamScanner which turns my phone into a document scanner.

How did I ever live without one, especially while doing research? I use a rugged, waterproof case, such as an Incipio Atlas to protect my babies from a hard-charging lifestyle.

4. External Power:

In Kazakhstan I bought an external power unit that had a small solar panel built in for charging. That’s nice, but my favorite big-boy back-up power source is a Samsung 9500 mAh Battery Pack. A smaller but still nifty unit is a EMTEC Power Pouch 6000 mAh.

5. Encrypted Memory Stick:memory-stick

I have too many passwords to remember them all, and writing them down is risky. I also load my secret stick with contact info, passport/visa stamp/credit and debit card scans, and other sensitive info. I wear mine around my neck so my latest photos and word files stay near and dear. Consider getting the Aegis Secure Key 3.0. It’s PIN-activated with its own alphanumeric keypad for physical security. This baby is super secure right now.

6. Secure Bags:

Pacsafe has been making sturdy, secure travel bags and accessories for years. I’ve had my backpack on countless deployments and overseas trips. A removable insert is lined with steel cable mesh and cinches with a padlock at the top, making it a travel safe that’s slash-proof.

7. Four-Cipher Locks:

The most common locks are three-cipher locks that only have 999 possible combinations, and a crooked hotel maid could defeat that in less than thirty minutes. Use four-cipher locks to keep all valuables locked up when you’re out interviewing a source.

8. Hide Safes:

We’ve all see the soda cans that have a secret screw-off bottom revealing a secret stash area. So have the crooks. And believe me, if you find yourself in a dicey situation requiring some juice, nothing says “Get me the hell out of here!” better than a crisp $100 bill waved at the right person.

I hide a couple of Benjies in a hard eyeglass case; remove the lining, insert cash, reseal with rubber cement. Put an old pair of extra glasses in the case for good measure. Or buy a Hidden Safe Spy Bolt.

9. Tactical Pen:

While it may seem old school, writers still need to carry a writing implement that isn’t dependent on zeroes and ones, and cheap pens aren’t dependable. So why not carry a pen that packs a lot more bang for the buck? I always carry a tactical pen that offers more versatility. It’s a very bright flashlight, a window-breaking tool for emergencies, and can be used in self-defense as a striking/slashing weapon. And it writes great!

Yes, I like gadgets, but always remember: the best gadget is the human brain.

Being deployed to sublime places like the French Riviera, or to unpleasant places in countries ending in “-stan,” taught me a lot about writing. As a thriller novelist, a new security deployment is like an unexplored gold mine of impressions that await transformation into a dramatic storyline.

1. Use the right tools: an unlocked smartphone or tablet computer with a SIM card for phone and data is your best friend. Aside from being a virtual office, it’s a camera (my Goggle phone has a 13 megapixel camera), camcorder, voice recorder, translator, GPS, digital notebook, and more. Authors need tools and the smartphone makes research and note-taking—even book promotion on social media—much easier to do on the road.

2. Take notes now: describing sights, sounds, and smells can help bring scenes to life. Memories fade; first impressions are often more vivid, so I try to document my initial thoughts about people and places as soon as possible, knowing this material might later find it’s way into a book.

3. Don’t be shy: interesting characters are everywhere. In Hong Kong, I spotted some men drinking in a hotel bar. I took notes on their dress and physical characteristics before engaging them in conversation. One of them became the model for a Chinese assassin in the novel I’ve just finished called, Locked Down. Chatting up knowledgeable locals is a form of intelligence collection and can provide great background and insight for a story.

4. Perform risk assessment: as a security operator I’m trained to do this wherever I go. How many exits are there in a restaurant? Where could an assailant hide at an art gallery? Where does the danger lie in walking down any particular street? Sizing up a location or situation generates ideas about how to get your characters into and out of trouble.

5. The truth is a moving target: in my experience, many situations are not what they initially appeared to be. Translate that kind of shifting uncertainty into an exciting plot line, and you’ll be halfway to having a great story.

On a Russian military base in Central Asia

The promise of Spring has been fulfilled today; a gentle breeze carries temps in the sixties under a clean blue sky dotted with pure white clouds.  And with the advent of Spring came the publication of my latest novel a few days ago, an espionage thriller called The Russian Bride.

It’s ironic that I’m unable to promote the new book back in the States because I’m on a deployment in Eastern Europe in a country formerly controlled by the Russians—a country that hopes the Russians will never come back.

Today I find myself posted in a windowless room with steel walls and floors.  Cell phones don’t work here.  I’m on a U.S. military facility inside a friendly foreign military base.  No photographs are allowed.  The no photos rules goes against the grain of this digital social media age we live in where we post pictures of all aspects of out lives on a daily basis.

After three months on this deployment I realize I’ve taken few photos, even while off base, because we have programmed ourselves not to use our cell cameras.  I’ve stayed low key, but low key isn’t ideal for promoting a book.

So I am forcing myself to take a photo or two for this new blog entry as a way to get back to some kind of balance.  And hopefully, somehow, readers will find The Russian Bride even if I’m not in America hawking it at book stores and festivals.

I’ve learned that writing a book is only a small part of the process one must navigate as a professional author.  Yet even for the most anal retentive control-freak novelist who does every last possible thing to market and promote a book, so much is simply out of our hands.  This makes for a good reminder of who is really in charge of our lives.

I give thanks and offer gratitude that I have five books published, all with mostly good reviews.  I offer prayers to the spirits and heavens that readers who like page-turning thrillers will find and enjoy my work.

A very successful, wise, and kind bookseller once told me, “Nobody goes to book signings in December.” It was an offhand comment that took me aback, essentially because all of my books, up until now, have been released in December.

Had I been wasting my time and money making winter-time in-store appearances in support of my novels?

There’s another issue relating to December book releases. Are books released at the end of the year less likely to be included on a reviewer’s “Best of the Year” list? Those lists are often compiled in October and published in November.

While it’s true that ARCs, or Advance Reader’s Copies, go out before October, I suspect reviewers are more swayed by material (and the buzz surrounding it) that appears well before the end of the year.

Hence, I began to feel somewhat handicapped to be stuck with December release dates. I mentioned this to my agent who spoke with my editor, and, lo and behold! My new crime novel, Burnt Black, had its release date bumped up to November 19th. It’s not September, but hey, I’ll take it. And, of course, I’m very grateful to have my book published by a major publisher, regardless of the release date.

So my bookstore appearances this year will start earlier than ever. The question now becomes: Does anyone go to book signings on Thanksgiving weekend?!

Guess I’ll find out when I appear with fellow author Weston Ochse at the Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, Arizona on Saturday, November 30th at 2PM.

The Poisoned Pen is a first-rate bookshop www.poisonedpen.com and owner Barbara Peters is all class. Her staff usually arranges seating in the round in the spacious shop and events are casual, informative, and intimate. If I lived in Scottsdale, I’d be a regular, because she features a never-ending lineup of world-class mystery and thriller writers. I’m lucky that she lets me sneak in through the back door and talk about my books.

For those of you far from Arizona who would still like to purchase first edition novels signed by your favorite mystery and thriller authors, check out Barbara’s Website or give them a toll-free call at 888-560-9919. The helpful staff will hook you up.

I enjoy making in-person appearances and wish I were able to do more. Input from the folks buying your books can be some of the most valuable input of all. In the next blog I’ll talk about the other bookstore appearances slated for this month. In the meantime, keep reading, and please support your local bookseller.

Halloween is almost here and that means it will be New Year’s Day before we know it. At least that’s the way it sometimes seems as we approach the end-of-the-year holiday months. Is it the old saw about time flying because we’re having too much fun? The end of the year always seems to be stuck on fast forward.

For me as an author, October means a whole new set of tasks and responsibilities beckon (and during the World Series, darn it!), since my last three novels have all been published at the ends of their respective years. And with novel number four, BURNT BLACK, being released on November 19, well, there’s a helluva lot of stuff I need to be doing.

I like doing bookstore appearances in support of a new book, but most authors today spend a lot of time doing new book promotion online. So I’m busy getting ready for the release of mystery novel #3 in my Detective Cliff St. James series.

Did I mention it was World Series time? My team, the Cardinals (Go, Cardinals!), just got their asses handed to them in Game One by Boston. But if the Series goes to a Game Seven, it will take place on Halloween night. The fact that the professional baseball season runs all the way to All Hallows Eve is scary in its own right, and probably has the ghosts at Fenway Park up in arms.

Scary Halloweens and I go way back, right about to the age of five. I remember getting carsick in the back seat of my Aunt’s huge Buick one Halloween. She had been kindly ferrying us all over town so we could trick-or-treat our way to Candy Heaven.

Aunt Annie was also a herky-jerky stop-and-go driver, and I tossed my cookies right into my bulging bag of candy. How scary is that? I must have had five pounds of candy in that shopping back, because we didn’t mess around.

And then there was the Halloween back in D.C. when I attended a costume party and fell in love with a woman before the clock struck twelve. Due to her costume, I didn’t know what she looked like, but sometimes I can overlook such details. I told the party’s host that she was the woman I intended to marry, and two months later we tied the knot. (The knot got untied 13 years later, but that’s a different story.)

I’m now a little gun shy about attending Halloween costume parties, although I have had some fun Halloweens in New Orleans. (But isn’t it Halloween every weekend in New Orleans?)

BURNT BLACK doesn’t take place during Halloween, but I hope it’s a spooky read nonetheless. My detectives Cliff and Honey are baffled by a series of bizarre deaths tied to a secretive occult group. And since occult goes with New Orleans like a poor-boy sandwich goes with a cold beer, well, their investigation just gets curiouser and curiouser.

Kirkus and Booklist, two of the Big Three book review entities, both gave me good reviews for BURNT BLACK. Hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Happy Halloween, and Go Cardinals!

I’ve been doing a bit of guest blogging around the Web to help promote the release of my thriller novel, GOOD JUNK, the second in the Cliff St. James series.  Some of the questions thrown at me are provocative, some mundane.

And just as there are no small parts, only small actors, I’d say there are no dumb questions for writers, but maybe dumb answers from some writers.   Personally, I feel privileged to be published by a major New York publisher and to have gotten such good reviews for my books.  So I don’t mind answering any and all questions that readers throw my way.

I thought I would share a few queries that I have gotten since GOOD JUNK was released in December, 2012.

What is the message in GOOD JUNK?

One of the things I wanted to do was riff on aspects of lethal force.  What are the ramifications upon the people who find themselves applying it?

The hero of my post-hurricane, New Orleans crime novels is on a path leading him to more and more violence and death, and in GOOD JUNK I wanted to have him confront that head-on.

The book opens with St. James feeling guilt-ridden over having accidentally killed an opponent in an MMA sparring session.  The guilt hampers him as he finds himself embroiled in a very intense and violent murder and conspiracy investigation.  So what the story is really about—aside from the actual mystery itself—is how St. James has to forgive himself and accept what he is becoming.

What motivates you to write?

I’m a natural storyteller.  I have so many stories bouncing around in my head.  My problem is not having enough time to write them all.

I’ve been writing all of my adult life, but at one low point, where I wasn’t making any money with my craft, I decided to give it up.  But the thing about being a professional writer is—it’s a lifestyle, it’s who you are, it defines you in every way.  I started writing again after about a year because I had no choice;  I had stories to tell.

I simply accepted that there was no escaping who I was and started writing again, just for myself, not attaching any outcome to what might happen with the stories I wrote.  I didn’t worry if they were commercial or saleable or whatever.

Those were screenplays that I wrote back then, and I felt deep satisfaction in having completed them.  I had told the story I wanted to tell, and it didn’t matter if maybe only five people on Earth—none of whom were in the movie business—read those scripts.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?

Keep writing!  Being a true writer takes a tremendous amount of discipline, tenacity, and passion.  It’s a tremendous commitment of time and it’s often a sacrifice.  Writers put words on paper because being a writer is who they are.  But there are many ways to reach the top of the mountain, if the top of the mountain means publication or getting paid, so who am I to say how anyone should go about it?

I could give lots of advice to aspiring writers, but generally, it’s not something they want to hear.  Don’t be obsessed with the potential rewards; the reward is having created the work.  Try to take your ego out of the process.  Get life experience!  Read books on writing and how writers work.  Learn about the practical business aspects of being a writer.  Take writing classes and seminars, and network a bit.  Be patient, write what interests you, and stick to it.

What kind of books do you like to read?

I just read the Stieg Larsson trilogy and enjoyed it, although he sometimes gets bogged down in too much descriptive detail.   But, hey, great suspense.  Lisbeth Salander is an immensely cool character.

In terms of thrillers, I’ve been a huge Ludlum fan since before the Bourne movies were filmed.  Ludlum was so great with plot.  I love the original SHIBUMI, some of Wilbur Smith’s work, and way too many others like THE ROSE OF TIBET, and IN THE NAME OF THE ROSE, to mention just a few.

I have always been intrigued by the concept of the “warrior/monk,” and have written fiction using such characters.  So naturally I read THE BOOK OF FIVE RINGS by Musashi, and books by Glenn Morris, George Leonard, and anything to do with spiritual warriors and the like. So much to read, so little time.

Well, we’re in that slack-off week between Christmas and New Year when I get to slack-off from my security gig here in Crapistan, Central Asia, and devote some time to writing.  And to promoting my new thriller novel, GOOD JUNK, which has been out for a couple of weeks now.

I’ve been very fortunate to get some terrific reviews.  And well, hell, let me share a few with you:

Good Junk received the rare honor of a *Starred,* boxed review from PUBLISHER’S WEEKLY:  “Kovacs outstanding second Cliff St. James novel…powerful prose that evokes a city still struggling to recover its infrastructure and identity elevates this well beyond most other contemporary PI novels.” ~Publisher’s Weekly

“The scenes of New Orleans are rich and real. Kovacs hopeless, elegiac vision of the city is touching, and his quick studies of hidden landmarks like the outré bar in the French Quarter that calls itself Pravda, and Pampy’s, a purveyor of soul food to politicians, are written with true affection and terrific humor.”  ~The New York Times Book Review

“Kovacs maintains a fast pace, and his descriptions of a steamy, seamy, badly managed city that is failing to recover from Katrina are jolting and plausible. Good Junk has plenty of action—and high-tech gadgetry, too—”  ~Booklist

“The action in “Good Junk” is fast and filled with multiple puzzles for St. James and his would-be lover to solve. A multitude of stealth gadgets, security gizmos and exploding pens worthy of James Bond are employed by St. James in the process.” ~Associated Press

“…always compelling…with so many twists and turns, even the most devoted noir fans may wish they had a map. But it’s well worth trying to find the way.”   ~Kirkus Reviews

“Kovacs bring(s) in the CIA, Russian mob assassins, Chinese dealers with vast clout and lots of tensely described violence…tight action, a guilt-ridden hero and neighborhood bars that are nice and seedy.” ~The Houston Chronicle

So if this is a slack-off week for you, too please feel free to friend me on Goodreads and post your own review after you read GOOD JUNK.

The cold is descending upon Central Asia, where I am currently deployed, like an icy blanket. Soon it will be seriously cold, with wind chill factors that could make Eskimos shiver. But I have plenty of extreme- cold-weather gear and today I am off duty and am warm and fuzzy with a Cuban cigar and a bottle of red from Moldova that is almost drinkable as I sit in the foyer of our quarters.

For the 7th time in the last eight years I will be deployed away from home for the holidays, and for the second year in a row I will miss the release of a new novel. This year, it’s GOOD JUNK (Cliff St. James #2) that comes out on December 11, 2012, released by St. Martin’s Press.

The advance reviews have been great (Publisher’s Weekly gave me a *starred*, boxed review, a rare honor) and for that I am very blessed. I wish I could do more to promote the book, but sometimes you just have to place things in God’s hands. I hope to do some book store appearances around the US when I get back to the States next year.

Unfortunately, the Internet here is sketchy, and I can’t even access my own Website! (www.edkovacs.com)

Friends from around the world have e-mailed me, saying they can go to my site, so at least I know the site is up and running.

I don’t have much time to write on this contract, but have many stories to tell, reminding me that time—and family—are the most precious things in life.

A maxed-out weekend in America’s favorite party town without ever entering the French Quarter.

A person could spend one weekend a month for an entire year in New Orleans without ever leaving the French Quarter, and still not patronize all of the hotels, restaurants, bars, clubs, shops, and other activities on offer. Quite frankly, the Quarter is the bomb.

And while nothing says New Orleans like the French Quarter, the city has such a “deep bench” of gastronomic and hedonistic delights, you could skip that venerable historic district on your next trip and not even miss it.

So forget the Quarter and explore the real New Orleans; you’ve got forty-four hours.

FRIDAY

6PM, COCKTAILS: Swizzle Stick Bar 300 Poydras on lobby level of Loews Hotel, 504-595-3300

Want to ease into your NOLA weekend while still jumping in with both feet? Kick things off with a couple of Sidecars at this lively bar that has an upbeat happy hour scene. Run by the Commander’s Palace folks, The Swizzle Stick is a nod to Adelaide Brennan (from the legendary local restaurant family), who wore a gold swizzle stick around her neck, which tells us she might have enjoyed a fine cocktail, now and again. And you can, too, at this grown-up, but fun bar hang.

New Orleans mixologists stand at the forefront of America’s ‘crafted cocktail’ revival and revolution, and only fresh ingredients are used at the Swizzle Stick, with immaculate presentation. Try a Corpse Reviver Number 2 or a Gin Fizz.

8PM, DINNER: Drago’s 2 Poydras at the Hilton 504-584-3911

Feeling braced against the madness of bad food and drink, stroll down Poydras to Drago’s. Two-dozen char-broiled oysters on the half-shell? Oh yes, sir. Grilled in garlic butter and served with lemon and parmesan? Yes, indeed, cap. Cajun Surf and Turf? Well, maybe, but why not just bring another order of oysters? Family owned, clean, friendly, casual, delicious? Absolutely.

10PM, DESERT AND COFFEE: Angelo Brocato’s, 214 N. Carrollton Ave., 504-486-0078.

This is an authentic, old-time (meaning it’s faux-retro?) Sicilian desert parlor still going strong after 106 years. Absolutely essential cannoli, spumoni, Napoleons. Super rich homemade gelatos on par with the best in Milano.

Hair-growing coffee has been expressed here long before the culturally hegemonistic founder of St-rb-cks was even born. Superstar chef John Besh (August, La Provence, Luke) eats desert here, so what does that tell you? They had me at fig cookies.

11PM, CLUBBING: Frenchman Street.

The stretch of Frenchman that starts about two blocks east of the Quarter is simply one of the best street hangs in the world. Fantastic music, tasty chow, cheap liquor, and a communally blissful conviviality that just gets you smiling and dancing.

Don’t be surprised to see a spontaneous street party break out, blocking traffic as people turn the pavement into a dance floor. Street venders hawk burritos and hot links. Music jams erupt on street corners as players show up from gigs they have just finished.

Many Frenchman Street clubs have no cover or a nominal one; be sure to tip the musicians when they pass the hat. Most bars will let you enter with drink in hand, but buy another once inside. This is nothing like Bourbon Street and that’s a good thing.

–d.b.a. There’s a cover and the music can be more arty for an upscale hipster crowd, but the joint swings just fine with the likes of Walter “Wolfman” Washington.

–The Spotted Cat One of the Top Ten live music dives in the world, the electrical wiring in this club wouldn’t pass code in Bangladesh, so grab a broken-down chair by the front door. Popular New Orleans bands jam here: The Phister Sisters, St. Louis Slim, The New Orleans Jazz Vipers, The Rites of Swing, Washboard Chaz, and the New Orleans Moonshiners, to name a few. Unknown up-and-comers as well as legendary players sometimes sit in and the results can be stupendous.

–Snug Harbor Pricey cover, traditional bigger-name jazz acts, an institution.

–Apple Barrel R&B and blues dive featuring acts such as Frenchy Moe, Alabama Slim, Mike Hood, Andre Bouvier, Little Freddie King, and Blue Max. Fall by, because you never know what you might get and it doesn’t get more real than this.

–Cafe Negril Blues or Reggae outfits perform most nights. Jamaican food, Carib drinks.

–Blue Nile A hugely fun club, some terrific local acts perform here, such as Kermit Ruffins, Trombone Shorty, and Big Sam’s Funky Nation.

–Checkpoint Charlie’s Ever-evolving schedule of blues, rock, death-metal.

–Monaghan’s “13″ Tasty late night bar chow.

–Yuki’s Cool, Japanese pub and izakaya-style grub with live DJ’s on weekends. Check out the lotus-root chips and large sake selection.

–Dragon’s Den, Hookah Café, La Maison de la Musique (formerly Ray’s Boom Boom Room) and a number of other haunts round out the street. The most important thing to keep in mind is that no matter what happens, you don’t want to miss breakfast.

SATURDAY

9AM, BREAKFAST: Buttermilk Drop 1781 N Dorgenois St., in the Treme. 504-252-4538

Catfish Breakfast platter, check. Hot sausage breakfast sandwich, grits and hash browns, check. A half dozen Buttermilk Drops, the most heavenly donut-like pastries on the planet, check. But better make that a dozen. Gallon of coffee and three aspirins, check.

11AM, ART GALLERY CRAWL: Warehouse Arts District. Fortified by a frozen granita from PJ’s Coffee House, 644 Camp St., burn off some calories by hitting the bricks (can you find the old cobblestone streets?) in this historic neighborhood full of renovated brick warehouses.

Over 25 galleries line Julia Street alone. The fantastic architectural detail of the large old structures that have been tastefully refurbished blends well with the art within. All of the walking is a nice way to build to what is really important in New Orleans: your next meal.

2PM, LUNCH: Tracey’s, Irish Channel area of the Garden District, 2604 Magazine St. 504-897-5413

Shrimp, oyster, and roast beef poor boys that will rock your world. Make mine dressed, baby! Gourmet Magazine intones: “The best roast beef sandwich, ever.”

Sweet potato fries, cheese fries, gravy fries, gravy and cheese fries, boudin balls… all washed down with Abita amber, the fine local brew, at only $3. Yes, there is a God, and she usually orders a muffaletta, to go.

4PM, TOUR: Old New Orleans Rum Distillery, 2815 Frenchman, 504-945-9400

The mad scientists/artists/party hounds who own ONO have not only crafted gold medal-winning rums, they built a one-of-a-kind distillery and party space that is pretty cool.

The one-hour tour is bargain priced at $10, and includes a complimentary rum drink and a tasting of four different rums. One of their signature drinks is a Partly Cloudy, a cousin, it would seem, to a Dark and Stormy. Either way, cheers matey!

6PM, COCKTAILS: Cure, 4905 Freret, 504-302-2357

Cross an herbalist with a mixologist and you might get one of the bartenders at Cure. Crafting original cocktails like Bees for Pele or Disappearing Ink with the passion and drive of medical researchers, you halfway expect Marie Curie to pop up from behind the bar holding a glowing jigger of infused vodka.

Clean and handsome in a former firehouse, drinks here can push the envelope that has previously sealed the concept of what a cocktail should be… and do. Thinking man’s drinking at its finest.

8PM, DINNER: Pampy’s Creole Kitchen, 2005 North Broad St., 504-949-7970 (As of April, 2012, Pampy’s has possibly closed)

Succulent Southern fried chicken, nicely spiced filet gumbo with tangy sausage, and you have to love the okra. But the Number 9 Special should be on your bucket list.

Lots of politicos hob-knob here, so expect to see guys and gals in suits and skirts from happy hour onwards. It’s a mostly Creole crowd and the owner—a City Hall insider—had a little run-in with the Federal Prosecutor a few years back, somehow making everything taste more authentic.

10PM, DESERT: Sucre, 3025 Magazine St., 504-520-8311

Yes, it’s pricey, but when you’re getting state-of-the-art, who cares? Homemade marshmallows, chocolates and pastries. Coffees and port with your pleasures. Any place that makes Bananas Foster and salted caramel-flavored macaroons should win your heart, and your sweet tooth.

11PM, CLUBBING:

–Bullet’s Sports Bar, 2441 A. P. Tureaud Ave. 504-948-4003

Made famous by the Treme TV show, Bullets features Kermit Ruffins gigging here most Tuesday nights when he’s in town. On Saturdays, live music jams reign and you might hear some legend like Henry Butler. A great hang and highly recommended.

–Sydney’s Saloon, 1200 St. Bernard Ave., 504-947-2379

Like other NOLA bars that were previously patronized mostly by African-Americans, Sydney’s has now been anointed by the hipster set. That’s mostly due to Kermit Ruffins making this bar his new joint. Great jukebox, hot music, and if Kermit is cooking, plenty of turkey necks, corn, shrimp, and gumbo. The neighborhood can be a bit dicey late at night, so stay mindful.

–Chickie Wah Wah, 2828 Canal Street, 504-304-4714

A non-smoking club in New Orleans? Okay, I like it, anyway. Great beer selection, live bluegrass and beyond, funky religious décor and art, and really tasty chow options, all make for a pretty good time.

SUNDAY

11AM, BRUNCH: The Columns, 3811 St. Charles Ave, 504-899-9308

A streetcar trundles past on the neutral ground as a gentle breeze wafts through the drooping boughs of the large oaks. The jazz guitarist playing on the huge porch churns out the perfect soundtrack as a waitress brings out another award-winning Bloody Mary.

Built in 1833, the Southern mansion that became the Columns Hotel is listed in the National Register of Historic Places. Eating or drinking here can transport one backward in time, but since the end of 44 magical hours in New Orleans draws nigh, perhaps it’s best to remain in the present and savor every last detail before the return to a more mundane reality. Still, there is time for one more stop.

2PM, ONE FOR THE ROAD: Surrey’s Cafe, 1418 Magazine Street, 504-524-3828

Yes, your kidneys and liver are in a state of shock, but that’s normal down here. For a healthy, bracing refreshment to send you on your way, have a glass of the organic, fresh-squeezed orange-mango-pineapple juice, or perhaps the watermelon lemonade. Resist the temptation to doctor the fruity concoction with a shot of vodka or rum. Save that for your next visit.