Heather Caliri's Blog

Quick piece of advice: don’t read a book debunking the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) a month after you’ve been diagnosed with autism. It’s like researching systemic religious abuse right after your baptism. The book in question is Sarah Fay’s Pathological: The True Story of Six Misdiagnoses. Fay was diagnosed with anorexia …

The post I’m Autistic, and Autism Doesn’t Exist appeared first on Heather Caliri.

My small group started two weeks ago. I was surprised—really surprised—to feel excited about that. When I joined the group at the beginning of last year, I didn’t expect to stay more than a few months. I had my arms crossed rather tightly across my chest during the first meeting. And the second meeting. And the …

The post I Hated My Church’s Small Groups. And Then I Returned. appeared first on Heather Caliri.

When my daughter Lucy was three, I decided to get intentional about her education. I wanted to homeschool long-term, but knew I was not an ideal candidate: I like quiet, order, and long-range projects. I also felt a little cuckoo stuck at home. With 18 hours a day to kill, I counted the days until fifth …

The post I Did Not Trust Myself With My Kid. Here’s What Changed. appeared first on Heather Caliri.

Published in 2013. After more than a year not going to church, I realized I wanted to return to my childhood congregation. I have been there ever since. I have been in a season of intense joy in my faith. And I really, really didn’t want to say why. Here’s why: The joy started when …

The post Not Going to Church Gave Me Joy appeared first on Heather Caliri.

Recently, I blithely told one of my friends from high school that my experience in our church youth group had been largely positive. Here’s why I felt that way: the group was my first time in Christian fellowship. I served in leadership for three years, was there for almost every event, made a tight group …

The post There’s Power In Naming the Truth appeared first on Heather Caliri.

I was alone in my parents’ house when Nine Inch Nails helped change my life. It was a few months after college graduation. I was listening to music while I packed everything—after just unpacking. Not long before, my mom had told me I had two weeks to get out. It was just me, a bass …

The post The Gospel According to Nine Inch Nails appeared first on Heather Caliri.

Here’s a true story: I was scared of lighting matches until I was twenty years old. Twenty years later, now many books of matches under my belt, I find this both ridiculous and completely understandable. Ridiculous because matches are necessary and not really that difficult. And understandable because in order to light a match you …

The post The Girl Who Was Afraid of Matches appeared first on Heather Caliri.

Not long after my husband Dyami and I got married, he bought a subwoofer. For those of you not conversant in audiophile jargon, a subwoofer is a speaker “dedicated to the reproduction of low-pitched audio frequencies known as bass.” The subwoofer was about the size of a large end table, heavy as all get out, squat, aggressively …

The post Learning to Listen Well to the Low Notes of My Marriage appeared first on Heather Caliri.

A necklace really shouldn’t cause anyone this much anxiety. I bought it from a friend selling those fabulous accessories made by women moving out of poverty. Cute jewelry + women’s empowerment. Win-win. I haven’t gotten myself a new necklace in years, I thought. It’s for a good cause. I scrolled through the catalog and found a bold one: …

The post It’s Scary to Wear Jewelry appeared first on Heather Caliri.

I represent the people who get more than they deserve. The lucky ones. The golden children. The privileged, wealthy, and influential. Oh, my dears. How can I claim to be anything other than your sister? I know all about a life that’s unfair in my favor. Once, during my sister’s seven-year stint living at a children’s …

The post I Am the Privileged appeared first on Heather Caliri.