E.J. Plows's Blog

When you have a socially taboo condition you can become a great judge of someone's character. I never told anyone I had bipolar before I published my book because I just didn't feel the need and why would I? It isn't who I am it's just part of who I am. Now that I'm an author the nature of my book naturally comes up in conversation and people react in a number of ways. So you have your........

Look up and downs, these are the ones that look very confused and often come out with "but you don't look like you have bipolar" DOH!!!!!

Fearful lot, these kind of people suddenly change from there happy care free persona and stop making eye contact. These kind of people just make me want to say "but you don't look like an ignorant Shit for brains"

Accepting lot, these are the ones that want to here more. That see in you what you don't always see in yourself and often need reminding of. These people are genuine, kind and upfront.

I met a lady like this today. A friend of a friend. A lady who had had her own troubles and demons in her life. It's a shame that we have to have had difficulties in our life to really and I mean REALLY understand someone else's pain.
I left this woman today with a smile on my face. This lady was a "spade is a spade kind of person" there my favourite type of person.

Today was a good day.

I've had a lot of messages since I published Autistic blessings and bipolar me asking me if I will be writing a second. We as of today I officially am. I am going to writing about my next book about other people's experience of the diagnosis process. I have realised that although my experience was not the best I do understand that the process is getting better. I have witnessed this slightly from my second son's diagnosis. So, this morning I posted a message to Facebook and also to twitter seeking the attention of all Autism parents, asking if they would like to be interviewed about their experiences.
Well it's 5pm and I have forty two facebook messages and twenty six from twitter. I think this just goes to show how so many parents just arnt getting the help they need, the help to help their children.
Unfortunately I haven't had a positive message yet but I live in hope.
Should the Autism process really be this hard?

When people find out I have Bipolar I know I am instantly seen as the crazy one. The one that will kick off easiest, decide to go in the mother of all moods for something as simple as her cereal going soggy. You see its easy for people to put you in a neat little box, wrap it up and then label it MENTAL! Human beings are unbelievably complex but unbelievably lazy in their judgements also. The thing that makes me laugh is people who don't take medication like I do, do and say all kinds of crazy things. If I do them its because im a so called crazy person but if they do it, well that's just their quirky personality's. Hang on, I take my meds, so im sane. I cant not be sane, because I take my meds. So what's everyone else's excuse?
My point is where all different, complex, bat shit crazy and just plain taped in the head sometimes. But so what, isn't that what makes the world so round. I always say, its not the label you need, its the help that comes with that label. This is true but, I believe people really need to expand their brain to the point of seeing the beauty and difference in each individual they meet.
Where not labels. Where unique individuals that are all at some point capable of been painted with either the sane or insane label.

As mum's and dads we don't find it hard to love our children to the point that we obsess about their happiness and future. We watch them as they sleep, feel accomplished when they laugh, receive good grades and see how well they treat their first girlfriend or boyfriend.
Although we enjoy these warm fluffy moments frequently, does that mean we always have to like our children? It's hard to raise a smile when your child is screaming "I hate you, I wish I was never born".
If Autism and Bipolar were in charge of the weather report you would be constantly getting the, refresh your browser message.
As parents we have to be incredibly thick skinned. One minute we feel like where mother of the year and the next we feel like where in the dock, having our parenting skills questioned by every man and his dog.
We may not always feel like were good enough parents, but we should always know that where good enough!

I have bipolar, it doesn't have me. But, today I think it does. I have such a huge amount of energy today so I've been taking full advantage of this. You see the thing with this condition is if you go low and suffer a deep depressive episode it can feel like the world is about to end, and for some it does. If you have a major high, the world is a truly wonderful place and anything and everything is achievable.
So, its only noon but already I have been up since three and I've made forty eight cupcakes, two quiches, one steak and ale pie with black pudding crumbled on the top and twenty six cheese straws, of which I have eaten six.
I have also cleaned the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and ripped up the small lawn in the back garden and laid a new one.
I'm typing so fast but hey I have the day to myself so why not take advantage of my mood? Nobody can see me sweating like a pig and smiling like the joker.
You see its the same as my autistic sons, you have to see the positives and there are so many.
By know means am I telling people with bipolar to grab the mop or cook up a cake sale in a couple of hours. Everyone's condition is different to them. I'm not ill, I take my medication and I am very lucky that my medication works quite well for me. I have mini highs and mini lows and I accept this because after years and years of different meds I feel like I am in a place where I am finally well.
I'm finally me, again.