Mackenzie Cheeseman's Blog

I'm baaaaack :)

Did'ya miss me? I don't miss Facebook, not even a little bit, but I do miss you guys!

Anyway, as you may or may not know, senseless mass shootings are a bit of a trigger for me. (No pun intended.)

Obviously, I could prepare a dissertation on this subject (and have basically written drafts of such, here and here).

But I don't have time for that.

I just want to address one tiny part of the INSANITY that is the gun control debate.

The people that say "Oh well more people die in car acc...

Lady Liberty knows what's up. I, however, failed bigly at #ADayWithoutAWoman.

My husband had to leave at 6:30 am for a meeting so I was solo drill sergeant this morning. Then I had to take both kids to the doctor. I didn’t boycott work, unless showing up at lunch counts. I have to finish ten hours of work in half the time, before attending a board meeting at 6. Then I have to rush home to hastily feed and bathe the rugrats and listen enthusiastically to really, really long, meandering stories...

Friends! How've you been?! Time flies when you're living in a real life reenactment of some bizarre dystopian novel!

I've missed you, but not enough to brave the soul-suck that is Facebook. I've really been enjoying not losing my damn mind in all my newfound free time, though honestly, this past week, reality has been damn near impossible to ignore. Sigh.

We went to Cancun in December. It was pretty. All-inclusive resorts aren't usually my jam, but I realized, when a generous benefactor is foot...

Friends. Just a little heads up. Facebook and I are taking a break, indefinitely. Because I get about 97% of my blog traffic from Facebook, this is akin to social media suicide. But I have determined that, in the interest of preserving a tenuous hold on my mental health, my efforts, passions, and anxieties can be channeled in more productive ways. I may still blog, periodically. I mean, we all know I love to hear/read myself talk/write. Though to be honest, while the words are still swirling...

Help me out, Hive Mind. The video below is basically my son right now. At the ripe old age of 6, he has doubled down on his previously feeble moral objections to eating meat. Correction: He has doubled down on his moral objections to eating meat that looks/tastes like meat. He "feels bad for the little chicken/cow/pig" when he is reminded of it's existence before it became dinner. As long as the helpless little creature is camouflaged, it's all good. Ground beef is okay (tacos/burgers). Chick...

Colby: "Who do you want to win the election, Mama?"

Me: Hillary Clinton.

Colby: Why do you want her to win? She's a liar and a bad pewson.

Me: I'm sorry, what was that babe? I think I misheard you.

Colby: My teacher told me Hillary Clinton's a liar and a bad pewson.

Me: Well, some people think that, but I don't agree. I think Hillary Clinton will make a great president.

Colby: My teacher said Donald Twump will be the BEST Pwesident.

Me: Well honey, I disagree. Donald Trump says hurtful and dis...

If one more person tells me to Calm Down about the election, so help me God, I am going to aggressively visualize myself punching them in their bark box. My favorites are the ones who call me and my fellow pissed-off womenfolk "hysterical." Ah. I see. Accusing women who are voicing legitimate concerns about a President-Elect who has vowed to curtail our rights as suffering from "hysterics." How original. I keep seeing posts along the lines of, "Quit your whining and get over it already,...

I promised yesterday's post would be the last political post of the season. I've got itchy fingers, but I will abide. Scout's honor.

I don't have time to pore through my journals for a full-blow edition of Shit My Kids Say, but this one cracked me up so I am going to share.

Yesterday, we were looking at baby pictures, and Jack said to Colby, "See right there? That's where they cut the cord where you're attached to your mama. They cut it out of your stomach with a knife and it hurts, and it leav...

I had to write the word "explosion" about twenty times for work today, and every single time my fingers inexplicably typed "explosure" and that's actually a pretty accurate term for what happens in my head when I think about the fact that Donald J. Trump may actually become the President of the United States.

I understand I'm just preaching to the choir at this point, and that's fine. I just hope I can impress upon the choir that this is not a drill. The latest Washington Post-ABC poll has Tr...

If you live here on planet earth you may have already heard this one before, but do me a favor. Just for shits and giggles. Read this out loud:

I did try and fuck her. She was married....I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there.... Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.... Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to be...