Kate Elizebeth Nagel's Blog

"Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love." -- Dr Martin Luther King, Jr

Today, I found this  passage from Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.  Words spoken decades before by this courageous peace-seeker still ring true today.  When I read his words, I thought of this heart I plucked from a fire a couple years ago.  It was still smoldering a little from the heat and intensity of the flames.  I wondered if it would eventually turn to ashes or maybe break away in pieces. For whatever reason, it didn't. This charred heart reminded me that the heart can withstand great turmoil, tragedy, and trauma. The heart can do this because It's resilient and fragile at the same time. It seeks peace and knows only how to love. Maybe that's why I thought about it when I read this by Dr King... 

"Violence never brings permanent peace.  It solves no social problem; it merely creates new and more complicated ones.  Violence is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all.  It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seek to annihilate rather than convert.  Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love.  It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible.  It leaves society in a monologue rather than a dialogue.  Violence ends up defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers." 

-- Aloha

Happy Father's Day!  Sending all dad's out there lots of love for all the love you share! Every year, I make my dad's favorite peach pie and enjoy it along with some my greatest memories of him...  

Pigtails, frilly dresses, and blue jeans

Splashing in puddles and waves… making a happy mess

Playing hide and seek and Crazy-8s

Jigsaw puzzles on a rainy day

Glazed donuts dipped in hot chocolate

Tadpoles, fireflies, and ladybugs

Swinging at the park, touching the sky… taking flight

Chasing gulls at the beach

Bike rides on Sunday afternoon

Lemon lime Mister Misty freezes

Hula-hoops, batons, and jumping rope

Reading fairy tales, stories about Princes and love… wishing sweet dreams

Counting skips of a stone across the water

Long car rides to Gramma and Grandpas

Hot dogs cooked on the grill with ketchup

Tree houses, jungle gyms, and sandboxes

Mending skinned knees, wiping tears…  comforting fears and ails

Looking for turtles in the creek

Prayers and promises before bedtime

Ice cold root beer with cheesy pizza

Tickles, laughter, and silly

Holding hands and walking to church, or anywhere… together

Standing on your shoes, dancing

Hugs, trust, kindness, and heart

Peach pie with Cool Whip and ice cream

… and lots and lots of love

always... forever... no matter what

-- Aloha

About two months ago, a truck pulled up to my house in Cleveland, packed and loaded all of my belongings, and headed west.  I followed that truck with a four-month-old puppy in tow and crossed the country for the second time in my life.  Five days later, my things were off-loaded and the process of "settling" began. It's been a bit of an emotional and logistical rollercoaster as I unpack, adjust, and transition. Today, I wandered into my almost organized and cleaned office, straightened a picture, and fussed with the curtains.  I then took a  seat at my desk and began writing for the first time in weeks.  It feels a little awkward as I acclimate to the environment and I hope I find my groove here soon. 

A new home... a new chapter of what feels like a brand new life.  It was not easy to find this house.  About two weeks of solid searching yielded absolutely nothing.  I was challenged to trust and believe that the right space would come along.  One morning, I checked for new listings and found one that seemed to have promise. The agent picked up the call on the third ring and told me yes, the house was available. I enlisted the support of a great friend and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I made arrangements to "see" the house virtually. 

As the agent and my friend wandered and panned the rooms and chatted about the features, I was trying to picture myself in the house and gauge the space from a laptop in my kitchen, more than two thousand miles away.  Then  I caught  a glimpse of the front door and asked them to stop and show it to me.  Two hearts... it felt as if a huge gate opened and I exhaled and smiled quietly to myself. My heart flooded with love and a song popped into my head. I haven't been able to shake it since.  

Pete Townshend called this a simple little "ditty" he wrote about love.  And I think it's the perfect way to open a door... and a new chapter. 

--Aloha

When people keep repeating
That you'll never fall in love
When everybody keeps retreating
But you can't seem to get enough

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door

When everything feels all over
Everybody seems unkind
I'll give you a four leaf clover
Take all worry out of your mind

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door

I have the only key to your heart
I can stop you falling apart
Try today, you'll find this way
Come on and give me a chance to say

Let my love open the door, it's all I'm living for
Release yourself from misery
There's only one thing gonna set you free
That's my love, that's my love

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door

When tragedy befalls you
Don't let it drag you down
Love can cure your problems
You're so lucky I'm around

Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart
 

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I found this heart a little over a year ago when I was hiking the Gateway Trail in Scottsdale.  I was out for a visit with good friends and enjoying a late fall hike on the loop trail. After years of visiting, I was seriously considering making it a home. My friends were talking up all of the advantages - the weather is amazing although a little warm in the summer (but it's a dry heat), it's proximate to one of my favorite places in the world (Sedona), and it has wonderful hiking and all kinds of outdoor activities right in the city. It suits me and my lifestyle. 

There was a lot going on in my life. My first manuscript had just been submitted for publication.  I was about to change my name. I was in the midst of a little "tour" - visiting close friends and sharing all of the revelations and healing that I had experienced.  Every day seemed to bring new emotions and feelings. There were so many shifts and transitions, I wondered if I had the capacity for any more. I was taking the first steps of an entirely new life and it was overwhelming. 

For as many things that seemed certain, there were still many unknowns. As much as I wanted to start a new chapter, I still felt as if I were writing the last pages of the final chapter of the old story of my life. My friends and I were walking and talking about all of this when we came across this heart, overlooking the city.  

It's laying on its side, grounding into the earth. I think it was telling me that's what I needed - rest and recovery - as I grounded into the new me that was emerging.  And when I was ready, my life would be right there, waiting for me. I felt like I was standing in front of a heart shaped gate.  I had to trust that the universe would open it at the exact time I was fully prepared to walk through and embrace the entirety of the possibilities that await me. The next chapter... the first chapter of a new story

"what you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

When I first started finding hearts, I found only one at a time.  About three years into my journey,  I started finding heart rocks in pairs.  It wasn't a common occurrence (at first) and I took it as an extra special sign that the more I lived into my heart, the more capable I would be of sharing that love with others. The thing I love about these two hearts is that they are two distinctive hearts; yet, when they join together they actually form a single, larger heart.

These are the second pair of heart rocks that I found in Sedona. I didn't find these out on a trail, I found them on a piece of land where I was considering building a home. I didn't find these on the same day, either.  I found the heart on the left first, on the day I first walked that land.  There was a strength and stability that seemed to exude from it, and my hand and arm tingled as I held it .  It told me that I was on the right path... keep going.  

About six months later, I re-visited that same plot of land, still contemplating a build.  I found the heart on the right when I was standing in the place where I thought the kitchen would go. To me, the kitchen is the soul of a house, and it's where my creativity is expressed in the form of meals prepared and goodies baked. There was a warmth that flowed out of that heart into me as I held it.  It told me that sharing the things that come from our heart with others brings love to the entirety of our soul. 

It wasn't until I returned to Durham when  I matched these two hearts, and I realized that these two hearts didn't represent two distinctive people... they represented the wholeness of my heart. I was getting ready to sell the Durham house, the place that had been a source of great comfort and security. I thought I needed a house somewhere in order to have a home.  Yet, what these showed me that home is really not about bricks, mortar, walls, and finishes... home is really a state of heart.  No matter where you travel or where you "live," you are always home.   

Big white flakes were falling and the temperatures where in the low thirties - cold - but warm enough to venture out on a long walk with Nash (the puppy). I realized that it might be one of the last snowfalls I'll see for awhile. While I have no love for the cold, there is something about those puffy flakes that fall slowly and quietly from the sky.  It makes everything seem so peaceful. 

I was feeling nostalgic... made me think about the things I love most about days like this. Warm fires and hot chocolate. A long winters nap curled up on the couch. Cozy sweaters and thick socks. A big pot of soup (or chili) on the stove and warm fresh bread in the oven. Chewy, bold red wines.  And...knit hats, warm mittens, and bulky scarves... to bundle up for a long walk in the falling snow with Nash.  

When I opened the shade this morning, my back yard trees were trimmed with white and the grass well-covered with big snow flakes. There's nothing quite so pretty as an untouched, fresh blanket of snow. For whatever reason, it makes me think of Christmas - even when it's March. I took a moment and enjoyed the scene, as I knew that my puppy would soon be bouncing across the yard and creating a completely different picture. 

This is a part of a small heart shaped wind chime trimmed with snow...  and yes I have two because I love things in pairs. These aren't really wind chimes- they don't make a big sound at all - more like a little bell ringing, like that from that scene It's a Wonderful Life.  Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings... and maybe helps the heart take flight on a snowy winter's day. 

Of all the hearts I have, this is one of my absolute favorites… mostly because I believe it’s one my dad sent (gave) to me. I didn’t find it; it found me while I was hiking about five years ago. I was wandering a trail and thinking about my life, how much I had changed, and how much unknown was still ahead of me.  I tripped on something and almost fell flat on my face. I caught myself and as I re-centered and up-righted, I turned around to see what had caught my foot, and it was this tiny heart.  It told me to believe in all things, myself most of all... and that loving support is at most a stone's throw away, and usually no further than right at your feet. 

Thanks Daddy!  I

On my third day in Hawaii, I was negotiating a six hour time difference and found myself starving around three o'clock in the afternoon. On the recommendation of a friend, I wandered into an ocean/beach front restaurant called the House without a Key and sat at table in front of the big tree pictured here. 

There was an older man playing a slack string guitar and serenading the small crowd as I waited for my first Longboard to arrive. The waiter told me the tree is a century-old Kiawe tree, used for hardwood, and the beans it produces helps in the creation of some of the sweetest, purest honey in the world.  

I found the heart in the opening photo first and slowly began to see more and more hearts among the twisted limbs and leaves. At first I thought it was the jet lag (or maybe the Longboard) kicking in. So I showed it to the people sitting next to me and together, we counted close to a dozen hearts in the branches and leaves of this majestic beautiful tree.  

Some are more obscure and abstract... because that's the way hearts are some times!  Can you find them?  Don't forget to count the bonus heart in the cloud in the upper left corner!

One of my favorite hikes in Sedona is the three and a half mile loop trail called Airport Mesa.  It's a narrow winding trail centrally located in town and from this vantage point, hikers are able to see many of the stunning rock formations and beauty that is Sedona.  

When I lived in Sedona, this hike was a part of my daily routine.  At some point,  I decided hiking it wasn't enough and I wanted to learn how to run the trail.  It took months for me to hone the skill.  I worked the trail in parts... beginning with the flats that were a little easier and early confidence boosters.  As soon as I mastered one section, I'd move on to another. In time, I found myself challenged to run the trickier parts of the trail... those spots where the ground gave way a little easier or the rocks were just waiting to catch and twist an ankle.  The first few times in those areas tested my tenacity and trust... I was afraid and only able to move a few steps at a time.   

Eventually I found my cadence and patter. Even at my peak performance, there were a few parts that were beyond my ability to run, and I'd use the break to catch my breath, replenish with some water, and enjoy the beautiful views.  Always, I would keep my eyes out for the many heart rocks - like the one pictured above - that were scattered about the trail.  They were my "cheerleaders" as I challenged my heart to keep beating and encouraged my spirit to be fearless, as I navigated the sometimes narrow trails, steep climbs, and rocky terrain.  And not just on the Airport trail... in life, too.