Tim Speer's Blog - Posts Tagged "inspiration"

I am sometimes asked why I decided to write a book. To give an honest answer, it's because I felt God was calling me to write it. I have never had any aspirations of becoming an author. Nor had I previously given any serious thought to writing a book. Somewhere along the way though, the idea for the story line developed in my head. Over time I continued to develop the story until I had the entire plot developed, along with a lot of the dialogues. All of this was still in my head. But then, in the back of my mind, I began to think about writing a book. Ultimately, I felt what I believe was a calling to write the book. And although I was hesitant at first, from that point on there was no turning back.

From early on, if not when I first started to develop the story, there were religious themes to it. However, as I began to actually write the book, the religious content increased substantially. I firmly believe this was guided by the Holy Spirit, and most of it came as inspirations that typically occurred around three in the morning. This seems to be the Holy Spirit's alloted time for visiting me.

It may well be that a part of my calling to write this book was in answer to prayer. Let me explain. I had been struggling for some time with the topic of evangelization. As a Christian, evangelizing is something I am called to do. And I was feeling a stronger and stronger calling to evangelize in some way. However, talking to people about Christ was not something I was ever comfortable in doing, or felt like I was very good about. I have some atheist friends, and I heard from them numerous examples of the wrong way to approach someone about religion. But I could never figure out the right way. So I usually settled for the "I'm evangelizing by being a good example for others" (which I try to do). Or, "I support those who evangelize and are good at it" (which I do). But this didn't seem like enough. So I often prayed, asking how I could do something to actively evangelize about Christ.

Thus, it's quite possible that my calling to write Return To Paradise was in answer to my prayer. And I do look at this book as a way of evangelizing. However, I have found that the Lord was still not done with me when it comes to evangelizing. We'll talk about that later. For now, God bless you and have a great day.

I mentioned in the post on why I decided to write, that a lot of the religious content for Return To Paradise was inspired by the Holy Spirit. The truth is, I feel most of the book was inspired by the Holy Spirit, and it was only through the Holy Spirit that I was able to write the book.

One of the reasons I didn't start writing the book earlier, even after having developed most of the story line, was that I was pretty sure that I didn't have the ability to. And I am not a pessimistic type person, or one who easily gives up on things. I have often learned to do things, or accomplished things, simply because I took the attitude that if I set my mind to it, I could do it. At the same time, I'm a pretty good judge of my own abilities. There are things I do well, and am confident of myself in. And there are things I know I simply can't do. For instance know I can't throw a baseball ninety miles an hour. Nor, with any amount of work or practice, would I ever be able to. I also know I can't sing. If you doubt me on this, I'd be happy to give you a demonstration - ear plugs are recommended.

When it came to my assessment of me not being able to write a book, it was not made groundlessly. I read a lot, and I have read a lot of fiction. I was thus well aware that it takes more than a simple story to create a novel. There's plot structure and development, character development, and dialogue among other things. Although I can't say when, because it wasn't a conscious thought, I know at some point in time I started thinking in the back of my mind about writing a book. That's because when I'd read a novel, I would find myself analyzing these elements and how the author developed them. And my conclusion was that I could not do what they did.

So ultimately, in the end, here I was feeling called to do something I didn't think I was able to do. How did I deal with it. The first thing, was not to tell anyone. Not even my wife. Only after she heard me in my office pecking away at the computer keyboard for a couple of nights, was I forced to fess up. And then only after making her promise not to tell anyone. The reason for this was simple. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to write it, and I didn't want to have to explain that to people when they started wondering why I hadn't finished it.

I have been told that God will not ask you to do any task without giving you the ability to accomplish it. And so it has proved true with Return To Paradise. God took the idea I had developed for a story, and through the Holy Spirit, gave me the inspiration, motivation, and ability to turn it into a novel.

How do I know this, and how do I know I'm not just deceiving myself. I told my wife early on that there would be one simple test. If very few people read it, and those that did said it was stupid, then I would know I had deceived myself and this was just another (yes I have had a few) dumb idea of mine. On the other hand, if more than a dozen or so read it, and more than one or two said they liked it, then it was in fact God and the Holy Spirit who had guided me, for I would have accomplished something I was previously incapable of. As I write this, about two months after the initial release of Return To Paradise, somewhere around 700 copies have been distributed (the majority through a free promotion I ran). That's a long way from the New York Times best seller list, but it's a lot more than a dozen. And all of the feedback I've received so far has been very positive.

So where do I go from here. I know that if I am called to write, and I follow what the Holy Spirit leads me to write about, it will be something people find worth reading. If I decide purely on my own to write something for my own benefit, it will probably be something noone wants to read. Will there be another book? Right now the answer is probably yes. What will it be about? Will it be a sequel, or something new? Right now all I can say is that it will have a Christian theme. Beyond that, God only knows.

I've talked about how my writing has been inspired by God, and specifically through the Holy Spirit. However, I also owe a lot of my motivation to God. I must admit, if God is going to inspire you, it only makes sense that he will provide you motivation as well. In my case, while God motivated me throughout the writing of Return To Paradise, he has also continued to motivate me as I work to market the book. Often, the inspiration and the motivation seem to have come hand in hand.

One prime example of this occurred about a week after Return To Paradise was first published . I knew going in that it would take work to market the book. I just never had focused on it, and had never developed a marketing plan. So now my book was published and I found myself playing catch-up. As I usually do when I undertake a new task, I did quite a bit of research and reading on what to do and how to do it. And to be perfectly honest, I was beginning to feel somewhat lost and overwhelmed. Then about three in the morning on a Sunday, I woke up and could not go back to sleep. I couldn't get my mind off of the marketing of the book. And a plan began to develop. By four in the morning, I was writing notes on my phone, listing out a twelve point plan.

I was not going to have a lot of time to implement my plan that day, as we were planning on leaving at eleven in the morning to go with some friends to a worship service at a hermitage located about two hours away. And we would not be back until early that evening. Despite my lack of sleep that past night, I was up early and set to work on my marketing plan. By the time we left, I had my Facebook Author page up and running, and I had registered a domain name for my web page, set up the hosting, and started to work on the web page itself. I would finish the web page that evening . By the end of that week I had finished, or started in the case of ongoing tasks, every item on my list.

While it did take work on my part to accomplish this, it came at a time when I was feeling overwhelmed, and as a result, had not been accomplishing much. It is my belief, that the only reason I was able to accomplish what I did, was through the inspiration and motivation provided to me by God.

I have been working on an idea for a new novel. Like I did with my last novel, Return To Paradise, I have been developing it purely in my head - nothing on paper. Yet I have managed to develop some parts of the novel in fairly good detail, including some of the dialogue. The only problem is there is one major piece of the plot that I simply had not been able to put together. I had a general idea of what I wanted, but nothing I thought of for it satisfied me. Then last night, I was at Adoration praying when the idea came to me, and I was at once fully satisfied and at peace with it. And the funny thing is, I wasn't even praying about the novel, I was praying about something that was completely unrelated. Or at least it was completely unrelated. I won't disclose it at this time, but it turns out the subject of my prayer is now the missing piece of my plot.

I have mentioned in my earlier posts that a lot of my inspirations seem to come to me around three in the morning. I have often wondered why the Holy Spirit couldn't pick a more convenient time to inspire me. Last night's inspiration came around seven in the evening. Perhaps I just need to go to Him occasionally.

I woke up this morning, not really any differently than a lot of mornings. My alarm was set early, so that I could get up and go swimming before work. Let me just say here that I swim to keep in shape, not because I really enjoy it. I look at swimming as somewhat of a drudgery, and this morning I was not particularly enthusiastic with either the prospect of getting up early, or swimming. Just the same, my wife and I said our morning prayers, and then I forced myself out of bed. I dressed, grabbed my duffel bag, and headed off to the pool.

Once I hit the water, I tend to feel relaxed and at peace. I wear a waterproof MP3 player, loaded with my Chistian music play list, clipped to my goggles. The music helps to break the monotony of swimming laps.

In the water, I am closed off from the outside world, hearing only my music, and seeing only the bottom of the pool. My thoughts turn inward. Sometimes I start out thinking about what I have planned for the day, or perhaps something I did the day before. Lately these thoughts have been short lived, and I soon start to think about my writing. Sometimes I'll get an inspiration for a blog post. But lately, it's been more often that I'll receive inspiration for my second book. One that I have only been thinking about writing, but now one that it appears more and more likely that I will in fact write. That was the case this morning.

So what was the subject matter of my inspirations this morning? They dealt primarily with the Eucharist, the intercession of Mary, and forgiveness (a major theme of the story). I swim not alone.

Those who know me, know that I love photography. And I especially love landscape photography. In my photography, I have two primary things helping me. The first of these is the many beautiful places that God has created, which I have been blessed to be able to see. Having a beautiful landscape makes taking pictures that people will like a lot easier. The second thing is I truly feel that, through the Holy Spirit, God often inspires me, leading me to take better pictures than I otherwise would. On the negative side, I don't have quite the talent that other photographers do. In addition to that, as opposed to professional photographers, as well as many more serious amateur photographers, I am what I call a photographer of opportunity. That is to say that when I visit places, photography isn't usually my primary purpose for being there, and I am generally at a given place for a relatively short period of time. Thus I have to take advantage of the opportunities I am presented with, dealing with the conditions as they exist. However, professional photographers, as well as many more serious amateur photographers, often go places specifically to photograph them. And they will plan their visits, and take the time, to capture their subject matter in the most favorable lighting and weather conditions. Thus, they often will be able to capture shots that I will never have the opportunity to take.

All of that said, I have come to the conclusion that all photography fails to a given extent. That is, it fails to fully capture the magnificence of the subject matter. Good photographers can often take truly beautiful pictures. And many can even take pictures that elicit an emotional response. However even at that, they can often only capture a glimpse of the true magnificence of what they are photographing. There is simply no way to fully capture the true magnitude and beauty that exists there.

One reason for this failing is due to pure optical physics. There are many places that it is simply impossible to capture the true magnitude and scale of. Particularly when displayed on any scale that a photograph might be displayed on. Even if it is printed on a wall poster. Take the Grand Canyon, which is up to a mile deep and eighteen miles wide. Or the South Rim of the Chisos Basin, where there are places that one has one-hundred-and-eighty degree views that extend for over thirty miles in any given direction. There is simply no physical way to give the viewer of a photograph that sense of magnitude and distance. Even if one takes a series of photographs and combines them in a panoramic photograph. The viewer might get a sense of the vastness, but the resulting height to width ratio of the panoramic photograph will actually diminish the vertical perspective.

Another reason that photography cannot fully capture the magnificence of many places is that it deals in only one of the senses - sight. It can't capture the sound of a hawk echoing through the walls of the Grand Canyon. Or the smell of flowers as one hikes through the valleys of Glacier National Park. Or the feel of a gentle cool breeze as one stands in amazement among the Red Woods, watching the late afternoon sun filter down through the trees to the fern covered ground.

A final reason that a photograph simply can't capture the true magnificence of many places is that part of that magnificence is purely spiritual. Sure, as I mentioned, there are photographers who can take pictures that elicit emotional responses. However, the emotional response that one may have when viewing a photograph is different from the actual spiritual experience of being there. Stand or sit quietly at any of the aforementioned places, and it is truly a spiritual experience. I remember getting up on Christmas morning last year. I was in the Chisos Mountain Basin in Big Bend National Park. To the west, a full moon was setting directly down through the Window. While at the same time, to the east, the sun was lighting up the clouds over Casa Grande, coloring them a bright red. It was a three-hundred-and-sixty degree display that was more magnificent than any photograph I might take could hope to convey. But there was much more to it than that. At that moment, I truly felt a oneness with God. It was as if God himself was saying "Merry Christmas, this is the gift I have created for you." And that's the way it often is. It may not be Christmas, but God is still there, saying "Look at the beauty I have created for you to see. This is a sign of my love for you."