Lexidh Solstad

“Cal’s insides became spaghetti. This nicely complimented his brain, which temporarily took on the consistency of homemade pasta sauce with extra onions and garlic. His skeleton, which had seemed perfectly content to remain wrapped in muscle and skin throughout most of his life, suddenly made a break for freedom. He felt every inch of it as it tried to vacate his body through the front, taking full custody of his teeth as well.”
― Barry J. Hutchison, Sentienced to Death

“Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory???
Graystripe:...Drowning?
Silverstream: Can't you do that in your own territory?
Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there?”
― Erin Hunter

“If a cat meows and no one hears, did he really complain?”
― Patricia Mason, Confucius Cat Says...

“I nudge my husband. “Honey, do you love me?” I ask. “Mmm-um” he replies. “Rowrrr? Mrreow?” says the cat. I nudge him again. “If you really loved me you’d get up and do something about the cat.” He snorts air and pulls the covers tighter. “Uh-um. Didn’ work lass night. Couldn’t catch ‘er.” He begins to snore. That’s the signal the cat has been waiting for. “MROW!” she shrieks joyfully. I carefully pry my husband off the ceiling.”
― Dena Harris, Lessons In Stalking: Adjusting to Life With Cats