A.E. Grant's Blog: Eye of the Storm

We have passed the longest night of the year and if we were lucky we caught of glimpse of a fleeting meteor shower in the early dawn. This is the season of Saturnalia, the ancient Roman's winter festival from which Christians borrowed many traditions. The Romans paid tribute to Saturn- god of agriculture, wealth and renewal during mid December. The week long festival included pious ritual, public sacrifice, gift giving and raucous partying. Social roles were temporarily flipped, the masters served the slaves at the table and slaves were granted freedom to do as they pleased. Rules were relaxed- gambling was permitted, togas (considered proper attire for male citizens) were exchanged for colorful dinner clothes in the Greek tradition. Noise, drinking, dancing and disorder may have upset the more staid citizens who were simply trying to get work done! Oh well.

Recently I found myself in a hotel room flipping channels late at night. I'd grown tired of flipping around and paused briefly to watch a preacher from Orlando launch into his sermon. I admit I hovered on the channel with suspicion to see what the charlatan was up to, to see what he was trying to sell little old ladies. I lingered. I watched as he spoke about stewardship, about human being's responsibility to take care of the earth and everything God owned. He said that God knew each of the little sparrows and insects and made sure they were provided for. He said God gave us life and our bodies to live out our brief existences. He noted how we commonly refer to our possessions- my car, my house, my watch, even our most valuable assets- my life, my body, my kids, my wife, but we in actuality own nothing. We are loaned everything. He said ask anybody in the ICU or nursing home what they really have. Indeed. He said we take good care of our bodies, or we try to anyway. We take care of our prized possessions. He said we must take our stewardship responsibilities more seriously because we aren't taking good care of the earth and we will be held accountable.

I sat with his sermon. I thought about it as I prepared for bed and knew it to be the truth.

I'm at a point in my life where I realize I may fall short of my youthful dreams and ambitions. I try to recall what I found important in my 20's. I believe it was the written word, the pursuit of lasting love, adventure, and freedom. I wanted to travel the world. I have done a bit of that, but not as extensively as I planned. I have lived my life in two big cities, something I had desired to do. I have had adventures but I long for more. I have experienced falling in love and intimacy but I want more. That part of my life as been on hiatus and it is time to breakout of the cast of suspension. And freedom, what of it? Is freedom synonymous with authenticity? I wonder. Is it the ability to explore your identity without inhibition or filters, to have the courage to expose your shadow side along with the face you show the world?

As citizens we have the power. If we band together and participate in our democracy we can alter the disastrous course the current administration has us traveling on. We don't have to give in to fear and falsehoods. We don't have to hate and scapegoat. We are smarter and better than this. This is a diverse country founded by immigrants. Many brave Americans fought and made great sacrifices to give us all the right to vote and live in a free democracy. Use the power you are given wisely. Vote, volunteer at the polls or make calls. Make donations. Research the issues and candidates' platforms. Volunteer to be a poll observer. Talk to your friends and neighbors about the importance of voting. We cannot afford to idly stand by if we value our right to vote, our freedoms including the right to peacefully protest, the right to free speech and freedom of the press. Our democracy is in great peril and we must reinstate checks and balances. An army of voters can liberate us from tyranny, lies and hate-mongering! Bother to participate, it matters!!

Many times I find myself driving along the highway, winging it in my little car. There's a droning sound because one of the wheel bearings needs to be replaced. It takes a bit of time to get up to speed because the engine is not that powerful. I use my mirrors and move away from potential hazards. I make sure the semi trucks can see me. I often feel as if I am navigating life in poor weather conditions -with poor visibility and active storm warnings. I ramble along relying on faith and my little wheels to carry me through the weather to safety. I don't have a fancy navigation system to call for help if there is an emergency or huge SUV to protect me in a crash. I make do wearing my seat belt, listening to the radio. So maybe I don't need to change anything about my conveyance. Maybe I have a little skill and knowledge to rely on, not just pure instinct and luck because I'm still alive and in one piece.

I understand we all must begin somewhere, I only wish I had started earlier. As a indie author I am learning about the complex business of publishing. It's interesting. I enjoy mastering new subjects and I have some experience with sales/marketing.

I've had a long journey to publishing my book for various reasons. Along the way I've traveled through many emotional states. From writing the bones of my book and reliving my past- the good, the bad and the ugly- the process has been painful, amusing, cathartic. The developmental editor's feedback was instrumental in giving the book structure and continuity. The editing stages were tiresome. Querying agents and being rejected was discouraging. Being told by people who I considered friends, "nobody is going to care about your story", was eye opening and disappointing. Being encouraged by true friends and family to follow through has been wonderful. Clearing the e-book formatting hurtle was a challenge for me. Seeing my new cover was exciting and made the project feel real. Taking matters in to my own hands and self publishing with Smashwords has been empowering. Obtaining major distribution with Amazon, kobo, ibooks, B&N.com has been empowering. Now to sell the ice cream before it melts...