Val Prozorova's Blog

It has been a while since I have played around in my old paddling pool of erotic fiction.

As many of you know, I started my writing career through fanfiction and erotic short stories, and while my old stomping ground has since overgrown with grass, once in a while I spread a blanket there to reread over old stories and old times.

I've been exceptionally lucky to have a story accepted by the coveted Cleis Press, for their upcoming anthology Erotic Teasers. This little wonder will be released in February, but since it's all about teasing and patience... I'm going to tempt you with the blurb right now!

In Erotic Teasers, award-winning editor Rachel Kramer Bussel has collected sexy short stories that will keep you on edge. From orgasm denial to remote control panties, these characters are made to wait--and they love every minute. From dominant/submissive relationships to futuristic settings, they have perfected the thrill of teasing, taunting, and exerting control over their partners, who may protest but really relish being made to hold off until they're given permission. Whether teasing as part of a BDSM scene, onstage at a theater, or via modern technology, these men and women ache with yearning.

These stories explore the thrill of the opposite of instant gratification, with orgasms all the more explosive because of it. This collection includes stories by Tiffany Reisz, Leandra Vane, Ella Dawson, and Elizabeth Coldwell, you'll relish every lusty, agonizing moment as these men and women wait for the most arousing reward for their patience.

Interested? Excited? Impatient?

Good.

I'll tease some more when the book is closer to release (if you'll pardon the pun), but until then... you'll just have to wait.

[I am tired this week]

Three weeks I've been in Bali, now, with one left to go, and I'll admit I'm exhausted. It's interesting reflecting back on the time I've spent here as I sit under the air conditioning in my room that only goes down to 18 degrees (C) and chug back water I can safely drink only from the coolers dotted around the villa.

To say I love Bali would be absolutely inaccurate. To say I hate it would be too strong. Let's settle on the fact that Bali and I don't see eye to eye, but we can respectfully step away from each other and continue our lives without incident.

I honestly can't pinpoint what it is that doesn't quite agree with me in this country. The culture shock was huge the first week here, but that isn't it anymore; there's a deeper tug here that has me wanting to just pack my bags and head home early.

Discounting the times I've been sick (once with Bali Belly and once with the common flu) Bali has treated me fairly well. There have been things to see and people to meet and new things to discover. I've touched and kissed baby elephants and have photos to prove it. I've let myself fall deep into the traditional markets of Ubud and Canggu. I've gathered the courage to ride on the back of speeding scooters, now, using only one hand to hold on as the other browses podcasts or films my journey. I've swallowed my share of experiences while here, and yet I don't feel like I will come away from this trip immediately planning my return. Or ever planning it.

I came here as a Global Hobo intern, learning the ropes of the freelance journalism trade and pushing my muse to throw off some of the comfort of creative writing to stretch it to something more worthy of a pitch to a magazine. That experience has been wonderful. The entire team - teachers and interns alike - has become a huge family that I know for a fact I won't soon forget or lose touch with. But Bali itself...

I'll be the first to admit my Western privilege when it comes to traveling. I've found it hard not to use toilet paper for three weeks, and not put my bottle under the tap when I want a drink, and not feed the starving stray dogs that meander around every warung. I've found it hard to get around only by taxi or bike, rather than taking a bus or train. I've found it hard trying to budget my money when food here costs so much. I've found it hard - and nerve-wracking - carrying cash on me, when in NZ I only ever carry my cards. I've found a lot hard.

But it isn't even that.

It isn't the fact that most of the places I've visited are more Australian than they are Balinese. It isn't the fact that there is trash all over every street that white tourists add to without a second glance. It isn't the fact that most days the temperature here is twice the temperature I am comfortable functioning in.

It's just that I don't feel inspired here. Is the country beautiful? Absolutely, some parts of it are breathtaking. Is it exciting? All new experiences are. I can't say I'm disappointed in the trip, far from it, but I can guarantee you that I'm not leaving it filled with boundless energy and a new love for protein shakes and early morning yoga. In fact, I am groaning at the fact that I have another week here.

In the simplest terms, Bali just isn't my jam. Bali was so out of my comfort zone to begin with, that I suppose I just proved myself right in that it isn't a place I'd want to go again. I've given it a good go; I've learned the language as much as I can in these weeks, I've gotten on board - literally - with their form of scooter transport, I've learned to cook Balinese food and appreciate just how nuanced and delicious it is. And I've come away experienced and comfortable in saying I never want to come back.

I guess that's a form of self-knowledge isn't it? A level of self-discovery? Understanding you dislike something is just as important as understanding you like something, it holds just as much gravitas to come back from a place uninspired as it does to come back completely changed.

I think so, anyway.

It's been a long while coming, and without the help of my friends I wouldn't be here right now, but I am at the airport waiting to fly out to Bali for a month. There, I'll embark on a travel writing adventure, attempt to learn Balinese, attempt to tame a scooter to my will, and possibly meet some elephants.

It's been such a long time since I've written that I feel as though I'm starting from scratch all over again. Many people have said that Bali has been a place for them to heal and rediscover who they are. I really hope that this trip - this journey - does that for me.

For many months, I felt as though I had no inner voice anymore. That little spark inside that helps narrate situations, design beautiful scenes, bring our imagination to the forefront of our mind and overlay it against reality - it was gone. It was silent and I felt completely alone. It's only recently that it's started to gently whisper to me again, and I feel like a kid rediscovering my own hands.

I'm very excited to see what a change of scenery, a change of culture, and a change of routine will do for me.

If you'd like to follow my adventure, hit me up on Instagram @knitfixandchai and feel free to comment and message me there.

Stay classy,

V

First of all, I'm sorry I've been so quiet for nearly two months on here.

I try to keep readers and friends in the loop, and be as honest as possible about my experiences, be they happy or not so happy, but the last few months I have been so weighed down by mental health struggles that I haven't been able to bring myself to even post an update.

I won't go into detail, as I'm sure you all have a lot on your minds without the weight of my problems on your shoulders, but suffice to say that I had fallen into a very dark place and am only now breaching the surface again.

I haven't been writing for a long time, and haven't been creating for even longer, and it was starting to entirely drain me. I didn't feel like myself, I had no idea what I was doing, and I felt like there was no reason to go on.

But I have been going to therapy, I have an absolutely incredible support network, and the future is looking attainable again, if not yet bright.

I wanted to make this post to remind you that we are all human, that we all have bad times, and that sometimes those bad times take us away from the things and people we love. I am not yet fully on my feet, and I am going to need a few more months to get back to regularly scheduled programming, but I believe in being honest about who I am, and I wanted to share my experiences with you all.

I have some very exciting new projects lined up, both related to writing and not entirely related to writing, that I cannot wait to share with you when more groundwork has been laid.

I hope you are all safe, sane, and swell. Sending good vibes your way, and I'm excited to be back in the saddle!

- V

I've had several people ask me if I review books on more than Goodreads, and the good news is, I do now!!

I've started a page on this site dedicated to reviewing books. I've only just started it up so it's still a work in progress, but feel free to visit it and see what you think!

The ZineFest went off with a bang on Saturday morning here in Auckland city!

Dozens of stalls, stallholders, and hundreds of visitors - it was so much fun! I learned a lot talking to other stallholders, having fun with my table-mate (an amazing writer and zine-maker) and buying, swapping, and lending zines with other artists and writers. There was live poetry readings and good music, and all in all I would love to do this again!

While sales on the day were awesome, I still have some of my zines left over, and good to go to good homes!

Currently, I'm hosting a giveaway on Instagram, where you can win the entire set of signed, hand-stitched, stamped, and numbered zines, and I wanted to give people on my blog and email list a go at winning a set as well! While the Instagram giveaway ends on my birthday (March 6th), this one will run until March 13th - one more week!

All you need to do to enter, is sign up to my email list (if you haven't already), follow me on Facebook, and follow the artist on Instagram, and comment on the giveaway post there! Tag a friend who would be interested, and let me know which cover you like the best, of the three! Easy!

I'm so incredibly proud of these zines, and cannot begin to tell you how honored I am to have worked with Mel Paisley Walton on the collaboration with covers and stories.

I'm excited to announce that I have a table at the Auckland Zine Fest on March 3rd! Along with a whole group of amazing indie writers from Auckland, who meet up at a cafe most Wednesdays to drink chocolate and talk trash.

I'll be selling three zines at the table, one with my stories that focus on mental health, one with my stories that focus on my queer erotic work, and one with my more mainstream stories. Each will contain five stories, be hand numbered, and signed! If you're in Auckland, come along and say hi to my friends and I at the table between midday and 4pm on March 3rd!

I will also have some zines available after the event for sale on my site, so keep a watchful eye. These, too, will be hand numbered and signed, and I will send them anywhere in the world.

Now, to the most exciting thing: I get to collaborate with the INCREDIBLE Mel Paisley Walton on the zine covers and possible extra illustrations. If you don't know Mel's work, you really need to do yourself a favor and check it out.

He's an extraordinary artist, one of a calibre I've rarely seen. He's a designer. He's a writer (who has me questioning often why I even bother if he's on this earth). And he's one of the bravest men I know. It is such an honor to be working with him on this, and believe me when I say that you will absolutely want to own one (or all three) of these zines with his covers gracing the front.

I will have more information - and photos! - once the fest is up and active, and until then I hope you have fun acquainting yourself with an amazing artist, and looking forward to meeting some rad writers on March 3rd!

In the process of applying to another amazing-sounding residency, I had to record myself reading a story of mine. I chose the most recent one I wrote. Click below to have a listen! I hope you enjoy it.

I've really stretched my wings this year, and signed up to two short story challenges, one erotic and the other not.

Which means that every month I will have a prompt to fill and a story to post! Sometimes even two!!

For those who are part of the challenges, I look forward to competing with you. For those who aren't, join the mailing list at the bottom of this page and sign up to get an email every time a new story is up - to read the story when no one else can (the posts are private and open only to those competing, so this is your best chance for behind the scenes access to see how I work and what my brain does with one word or one sentence prompts!)

I'll make sure to mark whether the story contained within is erotic or not, so you can choose whether or not you'd like to read it at work.

I can't wait for you to get to know this side of my writing and me, and I am so excited to answer any questions and take prompts from anyone interested!

January 24th is when the first story is due to be sent out, so get your name on the list to be in on time!

Very excited to have had an interview with the awesome Nix Whittaker over on New Zealand Authors.

Check out the link to get to the full transcript, or check out a few highlights here!

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What is it like writing in New Zealand that would be different if you lived anywhere else?

It may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t enjoy being a writer based in NZ. I find that the culture in this country is more sport-based than arts-based (or, possibly, that’s just Auckland) and a lot of artistic and creative people end up overwhelmed with just keeping themselves out of debt and find little time to write. I’m not sure if it would be different in another country. Having traveled now, I don’t have the rose-tinted-glasses view of the world anymore, so I understand that everywhere would be a struggle. But I think that being based somewhere more central, perhaps in Europe, would allow for me to visit more places, attend more conferences, meet more people, and grow as an author, in a way that I feel I can’t here.

Why do you think readers are fascinated by books written about New Zealand?

I think to a lot of people NZ is still seen as an “exotic place” to visit, and because of that, anything set there is immediately exciting. As someone who lives here, I don’t see the country that way, but then again, anything set not-in-New-Zealand is exciting to me, so I understand why people find it pretty cool!

Who is your favourite New Zealand author and why?

I was a HUGE fan of Sherryl Jordan growing up. I think a lot of her work has influenced mine; the way she would delve into the psyche of a character, show their flaws and their faults as well as how heroic or wonderful they were. I found her books so easy to drown in and I would be lost for hours in them. I still reread a few once in a while, I have most of her works on my bookshelf.

What advice would you give for other writers in New Zealand?

I’d say: apply to overseas publications. Apply to retreats and scholarships. Apply to speak at conventions. I have found most of my success has come from getting out of NZ rather than staying in it.

What is your best experience meeting a fan?

As a writer of fanfiction before I got into publication, I had wonderful encounters with fans of my work. I’ve never been more humbled or honored than when an ex-marine write me a private message telling me how she wanted to thank me for accurately portraying PTSD and the power of returning home from a veteran’s perspective. Considering I am in no way war-inclined, and I personally don’t have PTSD, I felt it was a great reflection of the research and effort I put into my work. I’ve carried that experience with me since.

If any of your books was to be made into a film, which one would you pick and who would you have play the main characters?

I would love to see The Unmentionables picked up for a film. I think it’s a relevant story for our times and it would really resonate with a lot of people. I have casting in mind for just a few of the characters, but not all. Some haven’t quite manifested physically yet.

I would also love to see a short story I’ve written made into a film: Named. It’s a strange little tangle of personal reflection and magical realism that I would love to see brought to the screen.

Often writers get to approach some serious subjects. Which serious subject are you most proud to have written about or was the hardest to write about?

As above, I love to write about LGBT history and the effects that history has had on youth today. I love to dive into controversial topics in my work, because I feel they need to stop being controversial. I am completely open about my mental illness and my struggle to control my mental health, and a lot of my characters are thus the same. I’ve covered topics such as child abuse and trafficking, PTSD, war, murder and redemption, gaslighting, hunger for power, privilege, sexuality, and many others in my stories, and I hope to have many more such topics