S. McPherson's Blog: On my way to being a writer - Posts Tagged "writer"

Picture this: Me; a school teacher by day, aspiring author by night, hunched over my keyboard, tapping out my latest novel, obsessing over every word and fixating on every sentence.

Then fast forward: After tormenting myself with the desire to find that perfect first line, I painstakingly craft a list of approximately one million agents (not as much an exaggeration as you might think) that I decide to send my book to.

Days, weeks and months pass. Throughout which, I receive multiple rejections and 'try again next time's'. I tweak, I rewrite and I edit within an inch of my life. When nothing seems right I decide to do a bit more research and discover that the recommended word count for a novice writer like me is 75,000 to 80,000 words. Hmmm so that means my 108,000 word self-proclaimed masterpiece is slightly over the limit; give or take thirty thousand words!

Though I’m sure this is not the only reason for the relentless rejections, it certainly works against my chances. I stare at the screen, my reflection creeping into view and as my eyes meet my own, I shake my head…Idiot!

Unruly waves fling themselves at my ship. Rain barrels down from the sky and lightning meets the sea in a jagged electric blaze. The harsh slap of the wind stings my lips and smothers them in liquid salt. I watch the wheel spin; veering this way and that. Somewhere along my travels, I have taken the wrong course.

Scrabbling in my pocket, I pull out my compass and realise that the arrow is pointing North, away from the storm and towards my first true love; novels. It is time to go back.

‘Land ho!’ I cry as I steer the boat in another direction.

It isn’t long before I am carried away on the current of my imagination. Diving in and out of waves of fantasy; words flooding my mind like the tumultuous crests of high tide on the shore.

Forever a hopeless romantic and a vivid dreamer of the unbelievable, my route is clear. There is only one channel for my tale to take; a fantasy romance one. I stand on the mast of my stories ship, telescope in hand. Perhaps on the lookout for a romance I can never find; I start to invent one.

And so my voyage begins again…

After defining my perfect imperfection I open up to that blank page and my fingers stretch across the keyboard. The words pour out of me like water from a faucet; tumbling down and drenching the page in sentences I never knew I wanted to say. I let the characters take me to where they want; their personalities steering the story to its apparent end.

The beating of their wayward hearts becomes the tempo my story follows. The continuous shift in their ever-changing moods brings to life the melody. And every interaction between the lovers; hushed whispers and gentle grazes, becomes a lyric. After I’m done with the first draft, I move on to the next and the next and the next.

My aim: To write a story that feels like a love song; just as powerful, just as memorable; just longer.

Innocence lost

My innocence betrothed another, many years ago,

I tried to be its mistress but it left me in the snow.

'Let me in, old friend.' I pounded on the door,

Innocence replied, 'You can't stay here anymore,

Your body may be young but your eyes have made you old,

You no longer believe that life is butterflies and gold.

Take what you have learnt my dear,

Take the truths you know.

No longer remain buried in the wreck beneath the snow.

You have outgrown my wonder, but one day you will see,

that other wonder waits for you,

as long as you believe.'

This was another blog untold. A poetry blog I toyed with in the hopes of gaining a following. 'Innocence' was an unfinished poem I had written shortly after my sister died and now; with a more positive eye, seemed like a good time to finish it. But then I realised the followers I want, don't have to like poetry; they have to like romance and lots and lots of fantasy; just like what's in my book; At Water's Edge

This writing journey is like a roller-coaster that spans the distance of eternity. I used to tell myself that everything will be alright, I’ll be getting off it soon enough, that it will stop, has to stop, eventually. Now I see things differently. This writing journey; my writing journey, is a ride I will never get off and one I never want to. It will take me on downward spirals and loops that make me nauseous and want to scream, perhaps even soil myself…but…it will also drive me through the clouds so I might part them as if they are whorls of smoke, and dance across the raindrops as if they are stepping stones to the sun. It will take me soaring towards the stars, so high I can clutch them in my hands, feel their hot whisper on my skin.
And if the light of the stars burns too bright or if its heat becomes too scorching, I will give the star back to the sky as the roller coaster descends, plummeting down, ears popping like fireworks, heart thrumming like a broken wing, so I can do it all over again.

This is to be my life. One gut-wrenching ride after the other–book after book after book–and I wouldn’t change it for anything.