Talena Winters's Blog

The past several weeks have seen several major heartbreaking events in world news that have fundamentally shifted the way many people think and relate to each other. I’ve also been taking some time to reflect, and while I’m going to leave any political commentary off this blog, I will share what I’ve concluded:

Now, more than ever, I need to put my energy into the things that matter most.

Family has always been a high priority to me. But, more often than not in my business, I’ve let myself be distracted by things that haven’t been part of my higher purpose.

You see, I’ve always considered my books to be more than entertainment. To me, they, and the hope and messages they contain, are part of my higher calling as a Christian and a person. My business is also my ministry.

And while the world feels more uncertain every day, God is solidifying a certainty in me about the importance of my calling and mission.

In my last post, I mentioned the strategic changes I’ve been making to my business this year that have created a bit more stability. I feel God has directed me to implement those changes to set me up to now be able to focus on writing fiction again, because that’s where he’s called me to work in this season of my life.

For Such a Time as This

Esther, Queen of Persia, ready to face Xerxes for the sake of her people.

The biblical book of Esther is about a young Jewish girl whose family is part of the Jewish diaspora in Persia during the time of King Xerxes (the enemy king in the movie 300).

At only fourteen years old, she is torn from her family to compete with hundreds of other girls to be the queen of a vain, selfish, narcissistic, heathen king—not even as his primary wife, but as one of several. “Losing” would mean being added to the king’s harem, never to leave, living out her days in isolation from her family. “Winning” wasn’t much better—it might come with a nominal crown, but very little power or influence outside the walls of her own home.

The “beauty contest” was a clever distraction for this volatile, dangerous ruler designed by his counselors, after he’d executed his previous favourite wife, Vashti, for making him lose face, and then subsequently experiencing a devastating loss at the hands of the Greeks. Against all odds, Esther is the one chosen.

Years later, the Xerxes was manipulated by one of his advisers, Haman (whose people had an ancient grudge against the Jews), into signing a decree that allowed anyone in Persia to slaughter all the Jews they could on a single day (determined by the casting of lots).

In that moment, Esther’s cousin (and foster father), Mordecai, urges her to go before the king and beg for her life and the lives of all her people. By then, Esther had fallen out of favour, and going before the Persian king uninvited was a law punishable by death.

In fear, she tries to decline, and Mordecai writes to her:

“Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” – Esther 4: 13-14, ESV

Esther’s courageous response is one of the most inspiring verses in the Bible:

Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.” – Esther 4: 15-16, ESV

This book of the Bible has always been among my favourites, to the point that I even co-wrote an entire Broadway-style musical about it. And this passage here is the key moment of the story—the Truth that the entire story points to.

When times are dark, it is time for people of faith to stand up and shine the light of hope. Not because victory is assured—it’s not—but because it’s the reason we’ve been given that light in the first place.

“When times are dark, it is time for people of faith to stand up and shine the light of hope. Not because victory is assured—it’s not—but because it’s the reason we’ve been given that light in the first place.”

And that is the conviction I’ve been feeling stir in the world, and in my heart, over the past little while.

There is a hope that is greater than the problems of this world. It’s the hope I talk about in every one of my books. It’s the hope that guides my life—and that is the hope I have in Jesus Christ. If you’re looking for hope in these dark times, I urge you to look to Jesus. Talk to him, and acknowledge that you’re a sinner who is lost without him. Ask him to come be lord of your life.

Is believing in Jesus the magic cure for everything wrong in the world?

Nope. (Well, if everyone did, it would be.)

But Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. And he’s waiting to bring truth and life to you, that you may have life abundantly.

Trust me, the escalating disasters in our world are so much easier to face with courage when your hope is in the One whose hand guides history. He’s the God who redeems all the brokenness into beauty, including the brokenness in our own hearts.

Much love, my friend. I pray you may also know this hope I have in Jesus.

P.S. Esther is a short but amazing book. You can read the whole story here.

Earlier this year (I think? or last year), I polled my newsletter readers about the title of the third book in my epic mermaid fantasy Rise of the Grigori series.

The promo banner I made for Book 3 while trying to decide whether to call it The Romani’s Curse or The Romani’s Oath.

Between The Romani’s Curse and The Romani’s Oath, the votes were almost evenly split. I opted (at the time) to go with “curse”.

However, I’ve decided to make one further tweak to the title. Here’s why:

I have four books planned in this series. Each book title uses one of the four “races” in my world, as well as a significant object for that title’s story. So far, we have The Undine’s Tear and The Sphinx’s Heart. Undines are my mermaid race, and sphinxes are one of the forms cherubim in my books can take (and yes, this representation of cherubim is based on biblical references, which you can read more about in this post).

There are two other significant races: seraphim (which can manifest as dragons) and humans. And, for anyone who has read the books, you know that the Romani human characters figure significantly in the plot, as both allies and antagonists of our protagonists.

That being said, much like I want to write about the spiritual beliefs I use in my story with respect, I want to ensure I do the same for the real-world people my stories incorporate.

Representation with Respect

Francis Wheatley, born in London, England, 1747; active in England and Ireland; died in London, England, 1801, A Romany Encampment, ca. 1790, Oil on canvas, Yale Center for British Art, Gift of Elliot Sussman, MD, MBA, Yale BA 1973, B2017.27.

My research into the Romani people for this series has made it clear to me that this people group has a fairly complicated history, in which they’ve had to do a lot of things to survive.

They’re very good at surviving!

Despite centuries of nomadism across multiple continents (or maybe because of it) while facing constant mistrust and even outright violence from the peoples around them, they’ve managed to maintain a distinct identity, pride, faith, and even language.

The Romani have had to deal with attempts to expel, exterminate, or assimilate them everywhere they’ve gone. Along with the Jews, the Roma were nearly exterminated in Germany during the Holocaust. To this day, many Roma people in various places (especially in the UK and Europe) still have a very uneasy relationship with the countries where they reside.

While many people in real life treat the Roma with suspicion and distrust, seeing them as thieves, swindlers, and other unsavoury descriptors, they have an alternative, more romanticized reputation.

Begun in the highly romantic Victorian era and its ideals of being close to nature (and probably escalated by the Roma adopting colourful vardos, or caravans, as mobile homes in the middle of the nineteenth century) and fostered by their representation in fiction—especially fantasy books—this picture often paints the Roma as mysterious, alluring, and seductive.

While many Roma are not above using this image to their advantage when it suits (they’re survivors, remember), it can do as much harm in its way as the other stereotype.

The title and contents of this print portray how white Europeans often saw Romani in the 19th century—cunning, sly, lascivious, and “uncivilized”—therefore, immoral. Only some of those things were true—or more true for Romani than their white neighbours. (Their cunning is one of their survival skills.)

William T. Annis, active 1798–1811, The Cunning Gypsy, 1802, Mezzotint, Yale Center for British Art, Paul Mellon Collection, B1977.14.14460.

I confess that when I first brought the Roma into my story, it was as someone ignorant of all these things. I was looking for a plot device to help a young Zale escape from a difficult situation his manifesting powers had created that would make him hard to find for the five year interim between that and the events of The Undine’s Tear.

One of my critique partners at the time, talented Regency romance author Jessica L. Jackson, kindly pointed out the harmful stereotypes I’d employed in the first draft of The Waterboy—which sent me down a rabbit hole of research and my story through a great deal of revision to try to address them.

In The Waterboy, one of Zale’s Romani companions offers to tell his fortune—a “skill” many Romani would use to separate gorgios, or non-Romani people, from their money in a manner that would not cause ill will from their customers. Sometimes, they may even have believed what they told the gorgios. ;-)

Paul Sandby, 1731–1809, The Gypsy Fortune-Teller, ca. 1758, Watercolor and graphite with pen and black ink on medium, slightly textured, cream wove paper, Yale Center for British Art, Paul Mellon Collection, B1977.14.5950.

This is the reason I changed my original planned title from The Gypsy’s Secret to The Romani’s Curse—to prevent perpetuating the harmful representations of the Roma in my work, and to avoid using Gypsy in my title, which is considered a slur, especially in the UK.

However, as I’ve continued to develop this story, I felt using the word Romani in the title of Book 3 was still leaning into romanticizing their identity a bit more than their humanity. I also wanted the title to be more indicative of the conflict the story will contain. (And I really, really wanted only two syllables in the second word.)

So, I’m going to be calling this book The Healer’s Curse.

Hopefully, this will be the last title change for this volume. 🙂

Coming Soon

I just completed my quarterly week “off”. I put that in quotation marks, because I spent most of the week recovering from a cold, and I was also catching up on some freelance work when I had the brain cells to do so.

However, by Friday, I was also able to do the quarterly planning that is part of the point of having this week of rest. The slight break from routine and daily grind of running my business gives my brain the space to think about the goals I did or did not achieve in the previous quarter, and where I want to go next.

I’m thrilled that I actually accomplished almost everything I intended to in the last quarter.

I’m even more thrilled that, thanks to the pivots and shifts I’ve slowly been making this year, I’m finally free to focus more on producing fiction this winter.

One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that when I’m facing a lot of uncertainty, I struggle to be creative. Which is why I put so much of my time and energy this year into creating a more stable income base for my business.

Now that I’m seeing that start to pay off, my brain is free to dedicate itself to play again.

First up: drafting Every Rose that Blooms (Peace Country Romance Book 3).

Next: The Healer’s Curse (Rise of the Grigori Book 3).

Music Updates

“Help Me Find the Words” is streaming everywhere starting tomorrow (October 1).

Be sure to add it to your playlists!

Or you can listen, download, and support here.

Upcoming Book-Related Music

I’m working on two songs related to the Rise of the Grigori series—one of them is the lullaby that figures so prominently into the plot (), and another is a rock anthem inspired by the main series protagonist, Calandra.

More info coming soon!

What do you think of my new title, The Healer’s Curse? Let me know in the comments!

Names have power. In my epic mermaid fantasy series Rise of the Grigori, the undines whisper ancient names in their prayers—Atargatis, Inanna, Venus. To them, these are the faces of the Mother Goddess who brought their people into being. But hidden beneath the tides of memory are other names, more foreign and dangerous to their ears: Elyon. Logos. Pneuma.

To undines, the idea of a male God is a shock. To discover that He is not only male but also relational—Father, Son, and Spirit—is almost unthinkable. These names, and what they reveal, change everything.

Why These Names Matter (to Me and My Story)

When I began writing this series, I knew I didn’t want to replicate the spiritual cosmologies I so often saw in fantasy, depicting a God who is distant, cold, cruel, or simply absent. To me, those portrayals always felt more pagan than biblical—reflecting bitterness, or perhaps disillusionment, rather than the heart of the God I know and love.

For me, God has always been deeply personal—present in both joy and grief, he is righteous yet tender, strong yet merciful. I wanted my worldbuilding to echo that reality. So when I chose to weave the names of God into this story, it wasn’t just a flourish of borrowed mythos. It was my way of grounding the spiritual soul of this fantasy world in something true and meaningful.

Each of the names I gave my undines to wrestle with carries a weight that shapes not only their theology but also their destinies.

The Names and Their Connections

At the end of Book 1, The Undine’s Tear, I introduce the following lullaby, familiar to every undine child on Sirenia:

In the night, the Dragon waits to ravage in the dark
But Elyon will shield the ones who bear his watermark
In the light, the em'rald-eyed protectors of the deep
Will, ever vigilant, defend the gates of Elyon's keep.
The dragons and the cherubim and undines all as one
Will love and celebrate the race to whom he sent his son.

But, much like the origins of playground songs and nursery rhymes like “Ring Around the Rosie”, “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary”, and “Rock-a-bye Baby” have been lost to time and have hotly debated meanings, the undines find this lullaby nonsensical.

That is, until Calandra, my heroine, starts investigating the mystery of her people’s true past. What was once nonsense becomes a cipher. The names embedded in its lines unlock the story her people forgot—and the destiny she must face.

Elyon: “The Most High” (God the Father)Verse:

“They remembered that God (Elyon) was their rock, the Most High (Elyon) God their redeemer.” – Psalm 78:35 (ESV)

Original Hebrew:

Elyon (עֶלְיוֹן) – “Most High,” emphasizing God’s supreme sovereignty and exalted position over all creation.

Meaning for my world:

Elyon represents the loving, omnipotent Creator who watches over and infuses all layers of the cosmos, including the undines, and whose care underlies the moral and spiritual order of the universe.

The Impact of Elyon:

The name Elyon echoes in undine lullabies, a word half-forgotten and half-feared. To the undines, who worship a female First Mother and fear men—especially men with power—the idea of a male Most High God is both alien and unsettling. Elyon suggests authority and intimacy at once—a God who rules over all creation but who also claims His people as His own.

But for Zale, raised in the human world under 1790s Methodist teaching, Elyon is both terrifying and reassuring. If God is Most High and created Zale for a specific purpose, then even his mistakes—and his blood-soaked past—are not beyond redemption.

The Logos: “The Word” (God the Son)Verse:

“In the beginning was the Word (Logos), and the Word (Logos) was with God, and the Word (Logos) was God.” – John 1:1 (ESV)

Original Greek:

Logos (Λόγος) – “Word, reason, principle.” In Scripture, it emphasizes Jesus as the divine expression of God’s mind and will, the active agent of creation and redemption.

Meaning for my world:

The Logos is the connecting thread between divine purpose and creation, and between God and humans. He represents divine reason, communication, and manifestation. God expresses Himself and brings creation into being through the Word.

The Impact of the Logos:

The Logos is both terrifying and magnetic. The undines have always prized voice and song—tools of survival, control, and sometimes enslavement. To discover that God Himself took on flesh as the Word—the ultimate Voice—upends their entire worldview.

For Calandra, the Logos forces a confrontation: if God’s Word became flesh, then no siren song, no spell, no power of hers could ever compare. Yet it also means that this God speaks not to destroy, but to bring life, and even someone like her can be invited into His song.

For Calandra and Zale, encountering this “Son” figure in their world reflects the personal love and intervention of God in ways they can experience directly, highlighting the redemptive and relational nature of God’s interaction with His creation.

The Pneuma: “The Breath of God” (God the Holy Spirit)Verse:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit (Pneuma), whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” – John 14:26 (ESV)

Original Greek:

Pneuma (Πνεῦμα) – “Spirit, breath, wind.” Represents God’s active presence within creation and human hearts, guiding, sustaining, and empowering.

Meaning for my world:

Pneuma manifests in Rise of the Grigori as the unseen guiding and lifegiving essence of God who infuses all layers of creation. It connects characters to divine wisdom, comfort, power, and transformation—sustaining life itself and granting agency to those willing to surrender.

For the undines, it is the source of their elemental power; for Zale, it is the tangible presence of God, shaping his courage and purpose.

Impact of the Pneuma:

For a people of water and spirit, the Pneuma is perhaps the most alarming—and most intimate—revelation. The Spirit moves like wind over the waters, sustaining, infusing, and connecting all life, even while he calls for surrender to the Most High. Undines, who are accustomed to controlling elemental powers (especially the most ubiquitous element of spirit, though they are unaware of the source), feel unsettled by a force they cannot dominate, one who gives life to all things and who allows souls who reject him to withdraw into the torturous depths of Tartarus—a place without God.

For Zale and Calandra, however, the Pneuma is freedom. No longer an abstract force, it becomes the living presence of God within them, guiding them to confront their past, embrace their true identity, and pursue redemption.

It is in surrendering to the Pneuma that both undines and humans encounter their fullest potential—and glimpse the love and order that permeates creation.

Names that Shake and Shape Reality

For Calandra, these names are an earthquake. Her people’s mother goddess was distant but familiar, feminine, and—most importantly—predictable. To be confronted with Elyon, the Logos, and the Pneuma shatters her categories and forces her into a spiritual crisis.

For Zale, the names are less disruption and more expansion. He is a boy caught between two worlds—human and undine—and the revelation that his God is not limited to either gives him strength and identity. His purpose becomes clear: not to escape his heritage, but to embrace it under the covering of Elyon, who redeems what was broken.

The Power of Names

Words, and especially names, carry power in every story—and in our lives. In the Rise of the Grigori series, I explore the power of words and names and their impact in a fantasy setting, but rooted in real-world truths.

Perhaps names are so important to me because my own name, Talena, is so unique, and the origins of it have been a little tricky to nail down. But I know why I have it—she’s a character in a pulp fiction sci-fi novel series my dad liked, where Talena was the princess of a world where most women were sex slaves. (Hmm, perhaps that also influenced why I chose to tell the fantasy story I did about women doing something similar to men, and how wrong that is… but we’ll save my daddy issues for my therapist—and the healing God is working in me.)

In this “Behind the Name” series, I’ll be exploring the meaning behind the names of important characters, settings, and aspects of my Rise of the Grigori world. But names have special meaning to me for every world and character I create—if you’d like to see something similar for my other stories, please let me know.

What’s a name (a title, a nickname, or a name of God) that has shaped your story?

Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear the names that matter most to you.

Want to dive in?

Mermaids. Magic. And a search for redemption that could tear the world apart…

Three thousand years ago, a Mad undine healer sank Atlantis. Ever since, the Heartstone that protects the undines’ island has been failing and they haven’t produced a single boy. As the most powerful healer in three millennia, Calandra is the last hope of not only her people, but the entire world. Because if she can’t figure out how to undo her ancestor’s mistake, the Father of Lies will unleash hell on Earth.

Packed with complex characters, lush world-building, gritty action, and impossible odds, this intricately woven epic fantasy series presents mermaids and dragons like you’ve never seen them before.

Join Calandra in a search for redemption that could threaten the very fabric of the universe!

Explore the series

Get started on the Rise of the Grigori series for free with Zale’s origin story, The Waterboy, when you sign up to my newsletter.

Get the book Newsy:New Song

My latest track, “Help Me Find the Words”, is now available to the public. Listen and download here.

Image text: New Release: "Help Me Find the Words" by Talena Winters. “Help Me Find the Words” is a worship song that captures the longing to praise Jesus when human language falls short. With driven orchestral backing and heartfelt vocals, this mid-tempo Christian alternative rock piece becomes a prayer for the Spirit to give voice to our deepest love for God. Only on talenawinters.com.

Listen to the song Podcast Appearance

I was recently interviewed by the lovely Christina Fennell on the Pencil Shavings podcast. If you’d like to hear more about my origin story as an author and songwriter, listen here.

Listen to the podcast interview

You know what’s not sexy? This. But do it anyway.

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”

— Newt Gingrich

Ah, September. The leaves outside my window are turning the colours of flames. For those of us affected by the school calendar (and living in North America), September (or somewhere around there) is a season of change.

For me, autumn always feels like a time of refocusing. Perhaps it’s the return to routine that causes the mental shift.

Whether you or your children have returned to school in the last month or not, we’re now at the three-quarters mark of the year. Have you re-assessed your yearly goals lately? How about your lifetime goals? When was the last time you thought about those?

I don’t know about you, but I think about mine a lot. When I’m in a season of refocusing, I attack the steps to get there with gusto and energy.

But when the steps you’ve been doing don’t seem to be producing the desired results, it is easy to get discouraged, and focus can melt into floundering. It makes me want to skip to the end, read the last page, and just finish this story already! Like Princess Fiona in Shrek: The Musical, I want to “Skip ahead! Skip ahead!”

Let’s take a look at some lessons from some of our favourite characters (fictional or not) to survive those floundering seasons, shall we?

Perseverance—The Most Admired Character Trait

When I googled perseverance quotes for this post, I was nearly overwhelmed by the number of excellent soundbites of sage wisdom that came up. And as I thought about it, I realized that in every story that gets told, every character we admire, the common thread is the character trait of perseverance.

At least for the “happy” endings. For the other ones, chances are they gave up eventually.

(Even one of my least-favourite literary stories, The Road, has a sad—not tragic—ending where the character persevered—he achieved his goal, in a sense, by choosing to retain his humanity in the face of a culture that seemed determined to strip it away from him. I think he did it in a stupid way, which is why I dislike the ending, but he did it, and that, at least, is admirable. I don’t want to spoil it for those who might want to read/watch it. Other people love it, so you might, too.)

Let’s face it, we probably consume and create far more stories where the main character didn’t give up than ones where they did.

“In other words, without perseverance, they would never have achieved their goal.”

Why? No matter what other character traits that person had, if they didn’t persevere, they wouldn’t have had a story worth telling.

In other words, without perseverance, they would never have achieved their goal.

Napoleon Hill is famous for saying “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve,” which is often now paraphrased as “If you can believe it, you can achieve it.”

While this is true on a simplistic level (yes, you can achieve anything that’s physically possible for you to achieve), it’s missing that key element required to go from belief to achievement: work.

Fortunately, Mr. Hill also talks about patience, persistence, and perseverance quite a bit in his work. However, I remember being a young artist with big dreams and a perspective tinted rosy by the “believe it-slash-achieve it” mantra and being frustrated that the results I wanted were taking so long to come.

It’s important to remember that between those two points of the journey (believing and achieving), there’s a whole lot of road that can have its exciting moments, but is often hard work or just plain boring. But each step still takes you closer to your goal.

One of my favourite movies of the last several years is Eddie the Eagle, the true story of an Englishman who did what he’d been repeatedly told was physically impossible for him to do: ski in the Olympic games.

It tells the story of Michael Edwards, a man who, from childhood, dreamed of being in the Olympics.

He had very little going for him as far as talent or circumstances, and a great deal against him.

His father continually got in his way and told him he was dumb for wanting this.

His peers actively blocked him.

He didn’t really have the physical ability to excel in his field.

Yet, through a little ingenuity and a whole lot of determination (including the willingness to take a physical beating over and over again), in 1988, he represented Great Britain in ski jumping at the Winter Olympic Games in Calgary, Alberta.

His stubborn determination to persevere was practically his only asset. And it paid off.

Perseverance. It’s the secret ingredient.

I could list story after story of perseverance, as I’m sure you could, too. That’s because almost every story, no matter how epic or suspenseful or sweet or romantic, has a character that gave it one more shot. No matter how many times they got knocked down, they got up again.

Can you imagine Jean-Claude Van Damme having a career if, at the end of every movie, when he’s been beaten to a bloody pulp, his character just stayed down? Of course not.

Let’s take that lesson and make it ours.

You might be in a season of focus and energy, and if you are, great.

Or you might be floundering, wondering why you haven’t achieved more or had more success by now.

Chances are, you’re going to continue to cycle through those two places. What do you do about them while you’re there?

Take those seasons of floundering as times to adjust course.

Perseverance is necessary, but being stupid isn’t. If you’re hitting a brick wall, get creative and try something else. But keep trying.

Use the inertia of seasons of focus, excitement, and energy to propel future success.

Write down your successes so you can remember them, learn from them, and mostly so you can be inspired and remember that they will return when you are floundering. We humans have an incredible “gift” for forgetting the positive things in our life, so record them for posterity.

But no matter where you are, keep going.

You can only drive a car that's moving.

You only become a hero if you keep getting up after you get knocked down.

And you only succeed if you keep putting in the daily, unsexy work required to get to your goal.

It’s through that daily drudgery and, yes, even the floundering, that we become who we need to be to finish our stories.

There’s no skipping ahead. We have to keep taking our lives one page day at a time, just like everyone else.

That’s how we get true satisfaction when we finally get where we want to go—in a story well lived.

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.”

— Emile Zola

This post was originally published in the Books & Inspiration Newsletter on 2019-09-12. Like what you read? Get regular inspiration in your inbox by signing up here.

New song release:

Now available as early access for Books & Tea League members: Christian rock worship song “Help Me Find the Words”.

Get early access and show your support for the price of a cup of coffee.

Releases publicly on September 10.

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Thanks for reading!

For the past month, I’ve been taking a break from creating content. I was determined to enjoy summer, and I have been.

We had company (including all three boys—the first time they were home simultaneously since Christmas!), went on a quick road trip, and visited with friends. I picked berries and tended my flowers and went on walks. And I rebuilt and relaunched my knitting design business, My Secret Wish Knitting, on a more affordable, lower-pressure tech stack—because why not? (A change is as good as a rest though, right? 😜)

Honestly, this wasn’t a typical “summer break” for us, though. While I won’t get into details here, my husband was home from work for a month during a period when I wasn’t intending to take a break at all. However, I desperately needed one, so I rearranged my production schedule and decided to “take it easy,” even if I didn’t take a full break.

Because of how close to burnout I was feeling, and the burnout my husband was actually experiencing, over the course of that month, it became clear to me that I need to make some shifts in my business. I need more white space, but I also need to take on more of the household financial responsibility much sooner than my established business trajectory would allow.

In other words, I need to create more margin in my business and our family finances, fast. And that’s why I’m making some pivots in my business, starting immediately.

Don’t worry—from your side, the pivots will seem small, and may even improve your experience. But for me and my family, they could be significant.

My sweet Daisy chilling in the shade on the deck after a splash in the dugout.

Phase One: Create Space

The first stage of my plan (mostly complete) was automating a great deal of the mind-numbing tasks required to run my business. I’ve actually been implementing this for the past several months, slowly streamlining processes on the back end to cut down on admin time while providing the same or better service to my audience.

This week, I finalized some automations for my newsletter and content notifications that will allow me to keep in better contact with you, dear reader, all while freeing up several hours a week.

For you, this means:

My newsletter subscribers will receive my blog and bonus content posts by email the day after they’re posted—no more waiting a week or two to explore that new bonus perk, read that short story, or listen to my latest track.

My biweekly newsletter will now serve as a digest of recent content (in case you missed any of the individual posts) while continuing to include a quick personal note to my readers and promoting discovery of other great authors through swaps and promos.

Earlier in the summer, I automated eBook and audiobook delivery from Bookfunnel when someone purchases a book from my store, replacing my previously clunky process. Now, digital books will be automatically sent to purchasers by email.

Automations for the win!

Some amazing well-built architecture with a great view for the creator.

Phase Two: Scale and GrowYouTube & ClassesYouTube

Now that I’ve regained some leeway in my week, I’m planning to spend those newly gained hours growing my Youtube channels—with a primary focus on my somewhat-neglected Author Alchemist / Word Wizard Academy editing and author development brand.

I’ve been training my son Noah to edit video so I can subcontract work to him, which means I’ll only need to do the content planning and creation part.

If you’re a writer (or you want to be) and you’re interested in learning ways to improve your craft and business savvy as an author, make sure you’re on my Word Wizard Academy mailing list to be notified about new posts.

For my author and songwriter brand channel, I’ll continue to create music videos of my tracks as I complete them, but I’ll soon be posting my audiobooks to the channel, too.

Classes

For some time, I’ve meant to start teaching classes about writing craft and marketing online. I simply haven’t gotten organized to do it.

But now, I am.

I’ll be teaching a class about brainstorming or fixing stories with a single sentence (the log line) in mid-September. For details about that when I announce them, join my Word Wizard Academy list.

For you, this means:

More great content, more affordably.

Getting direct access to my secrets to level up your writing craft (for authors)

And by simply consuming that content, you’ll help me get to my monetization goals faster, too.

Kickstarter

I’m going to keep trucking on my special edition Kickstarter for Finding Heaven. One of the things I did during my “take it easy time” was to continue proof-listening to the audiobook. When I’m finally finished with that (maybe sometime next week?), I’ll be setting up my Kickstarter campaign. Watch this space for more details.

For you, this means:

Getting some of your favourite stories in new formats (audiobooks, special editions)

Brand and Freelance Services

My rather untraditional “day job” is working as a freelancer. For the past eight years or so, I’ve focused on working with editing clients. I love doing this, in that I find it very satisfying to level up both stories and authors and watch them reach their full potential. However, as I’ve learned about my ADHD brain, I’ve realized why shorter-term, quick-win projects are always so much more appealing to work on.

So, to work with my brain instead of against it, I’ve decided to pivot my freelance work slightly toward more copywriting, brand messaging, and marketing projects—something I’ve done for years, but haven’t made a focus.*

If you’re a creator, author, entrepreneur, professional, or small business looking up to level up your brand messaging or get help with your website copy or email marketing, please check out the copywriting services I offer to see if we’d be a good fit.

*I’ll still take editing clients, I’m just going to promote my other services more. (I also still write and polish book descriptions, which I adore doing.)

These stunning beauties were a birthday gift from my neighbours and friends, J and B.

Setting a New Course

A rolling stone gathers no moss, so they say. In this rapidly changing world, and with we, ourselves, always changing, being nimble is an asset.

This life change has made me step back and rethink what my highest priorities are right now. I think these small shifts will not only lead to better financial stability for our family, but also steer me toward a course I’ll find much more sustainable for the next several years—or until the wind changes again.

But if not? There’ll be another chapter after that.

How about you, my friend? How are you handling these uncertain times? Have you had to make any life changes to adapt? Let me know in the comments!

This post was originally a newsletter I sent out in 2016 as I was writing Finding Heaven. As I prepare to release the audiobook, I thought I’d re-share the process behind writing this book.

Several years ago, one of my writing mentors [the now-late Holly Lisle] was talking about how what you write needs to be something that is true to who you are, what makes you tick.

I nodded my head. It made perfect sense to me, because I knew that I want to write stories that matter.

She talked about one of her peers who, despite having great success in her field, absolutely hates what she writes.

This made me wonder, Why would somebody write books they hate? And how could they be successful at it?

As I started to explore these ideas, I began to become acquainted with Sarah Daniels, the star of my new book Finding Heaven.

I realized that Sarah (who was known as “Jessica Hufnagel” at the time—don't ask :-D) might have been sexually abused, and became an erotica writer. So I started researching.

It didn’t take me long to realize that this is going to be an important book.

So important, I didn’t think that I was going to be ready to write it for at least another couple of years—and I wondered if I ever would be. This isn’t exactly fluffy stuff, after all.

Then, last year [now a decade ago in 2025], my little boy was tragically killed. And for some reason, the historical fantasy book series I had been planning (hint: mermaids. Shocked?) didn't seem like the right book for me to write right then. I mean, all writing is therapeutic, but the kind of therapy I needed was way more “real” than mermaids. (Not saying mermaids aren't real! But mermaids don’t make good grief therapists.)

When I told my husband about my new book, he asked, “Why are you writing about that? Will anyone want to read it?”

I was pretty sure they would.

Grief, no matter the cause, is so very universal. The grief of Childhood Sexual Abuse might be different in cause than child loss, but the trauma and the anger from all that is lost because of it must still be addressed.

When I knew that it was time to write Sarah’s story, I plunged into the depths of learning about her, what her life is like, and trying to figure out what she might do about it. And while I was learning about how survivors of abuse can find healing, I was walking my journey of healing, too.

All the stuff I learned helped me start sorting out some other junk in my personal closet. (Hey, I got baggage, you got baggage—there's just a whole lotta baggage goin’ on.) So when my husband (NOT my target audience, by the way) asked if anyone would want to read my book, I shrugged. But then I figured that if writing this book is helping me to heal, then reading it will help others to heal, too.

If it matters to me, it will matter to my readers.

Will it help someone? Will it give someone hope? Will it at least entertain them?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then I have succeeded.

As it turns out, my instincts about this book were right. It has touched so many lives, and received rave reviews. I’m excited to finally be bringing an audiobook version into the world (via my upcoming Kickstarter—join my newsletter to be notified when it launches) so even more people can discover it.

Here’s some of the feedback this book has received:

“★★★★★
What an amazing heartfelt book. I couldn’t put it down. What an inspiration to us all...
Amazing. I highly recommended this book.”

— Shellee Devore on Goodreads

Go to Shellee’s review on Goodreads.

“★★★★★
Beautiful story. This story is very inspiring and honest to real life. Loved this story and will look for more by this author!”

— Teresa Lockwood on Goodreads

Go to Teresa’s review on Goodreads.

Recent Bonus Content:

Recent bonus post for members: “The Music of Finding Heaven”, a curated playlist soundtrack for the gripping emotional page-turner. Requires a free Books and Tea League account to access.

Get Finding Heaven:

Would you rather get the book now in print or eBook? Good news—you can!

Head over to this page to learn more and purchase.

The current print covers will be going away after my Kickstarter, so grab those now if you like them! (You can read more about the cover changes of Finding Heaven in this post.)

Happy reading!

The current print cover for Finding Heaven. Clicking on the image takes you to the print book purchase page.

’Tis the season for gardening and being outdoors and filling the creative well. For guests and reading on the deck. For going places and slowing down.

But I’ve still been working behind the scenes. (As per usual.)

Any season is napping season for Aang.

New Music

As mentioned in this post, I came back to my songwriting roots in a big way a few months ago. (Before I started publishing fiction, I aspired to be a career songwriter. I went to college as a piano and composition major and everything.) Since the passion rekindled, I’ve mostly been composing as a “hobby” during my evenings and weekends.

Right now, I’m not sure where I am with that long-dormant dream of professional songwriting, but learning how to produce and release my music has been bringing me immense amounts of joy.

I’ve been releasing new tracks early to premium members of the Books and Tea League. But if you’re not a premium member, never fear—several of my new tracks are now publicly available.

Now Public:

“In the Valley (Psalm 23)” - an uplifting worship song about finding light in the darkness.

“The Way You Love Me” - A feel-good Christian pop song.

“God of the Desert and the Storm” - An alternative Christian pop rock song about focusing on God during difficult times.

New song (early access for premium BATL members):

“Beautiful Mystery” - a pop rock ballad about the mystery of grace

I also have several older, previously released tracks. (And more in the pipeline!) You can see what’s currently available in my Listening Room blog.

Finding Heaven Kickstarter progress

In May, I announced my intentions to launch a special edition of Finding Heaven on Kickstarter. I’m not going to lie—this is a daunting project. (Kind of like everything about this book has ever been, so what else did I expect?)

Right now:

I've still got about ten chapters of the digitally narrated audiobook to finish proof-listening to.

Last week, I composed an original song that will be part of the special edition Kickstarter release. It’s the first completely from-scratch song I’ve written in several years (since producer, author, and publisher Jim Jackson chose “Dark Side” to promote his Prairie Witch horror anthology), and it may be one of the best songs I’ve ever written. That's all I'll say for now. (Except that almost every time I play through this song, I start to cry. I can't wait for you to hear it.)

Once I'm finished proofing the audiobook, I'll be pricing out the special edition hardcover, choosing a printer, ordering proofs, and setting up the Kickstarter campaign.

Hopefully, I'll have more news by the end of the month.

Nurturing Growth

Some wild violets I found growing in my field this spring. Thanks to Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables), I have an extremely romanticized affection for wild violets.

My “word of the year” for 2025 is life-giving. In the first half of the year, I’ve implemented a lot of changes to the foundational structures of my business (including shutting down my knitting pattern design brand). Behind the scenes, I’ve been simplifying my content creation process (a project I’m finally nearing the end of… for now). The intention was to streamline and automate as much of the backend admin and marketing work as I can so it can become less labour-intensive and more life-giving for me—and allow me to produce more work to bless, encourage, and entertain you.

I’m hoping in the second half of the year, you’ll start to see the fruits of those changes. I should have more time to focus on creative projects, especially fiction.

But despite the efforts I’ve been making behind the scenes to align with my year’s guiding ideal, a good chunk of achieving a life that’s more “life-giving” is simply learning to take some of the pressure off of myself. It’s not easy for me to do, but, as summer sets in in earnest, I’m going to try.

And I hope you can do the same, my friend.

Looking for your next clean YA fantasy read? In honour of Canada Day, I’ve rounded up a list of talented Canadian authors writing fantasy books for teens that are imaginative, clean, and highly rated by readers. Whether you’re into dreamwalking vigilantes, magical boarding schools, or ancient secrets buried in jungle temples, this list has something for every kind of adventurer.

All of these authors are either Canadian or currently live in Canada, and most are indie or small press. These stories are wildly different in tone and setting, but each one delivers magic, heart, and high-stakes adventure. I haven’t personally read them all, but I made sure each one has received glowing reviews on Amazon or Goodreads—so you can read with confidence.

And yes—I included my own series too. 😉

This post contains affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a qualifying purchase, I’ll make a few cents at no extra cost to you.

Clean Young Adult Fantasy Fiction by Canadians1. Talena Winters – Rise of the Grigori Series

Genre: YA Clean Epic Historical Mermaid Fantasy 
Read the series: Rise of the Grigori

Mermaids. Magic. And a mistake that could end the world. Three thousand years ago, a Mad undine sank Atlantis—and now their society is unraveling. As the most powerful healer in millennia, Calandra must face impossible choices to redeem her people and stop an ancient evil from unleashing chaos. Lushly built, emotionally resonant, and grounded in faith and hope, The Undine’s Tear kicks off an epic mermaid fantasy like no other.

2. Grace R. Pringle – Silver Blood

Genre: YA Dragon Fantasy 
Author Website: gracepringle.com 
Book Link: Read the book 

A curse. A deal. Death. In a fractured kingdom under siege, three teens find their lives forever changed by betrayal, dark magic, and a deadly dragon-borne illness. With themes of friendship, sacrifice, and the cost of survival, Silver Blood is a gritty, character-driven tale from a rising Canadian fantasy author. Perfect for readers who like their dragons fierce and their stakes sky-high.

3. Suzy Vadori – The Fountain Series

Genre: YA Contemporary Academy Fantasy 
Author Website: suzyvadori.com 
Book Link: Start the series 

Careful what you wish for—it just might come true. Ava Marshall transfers to St. Augustus to uncover the truth about her mother’s past, but a hostile classmate and an ancient school rivalry threaten to ruin everything. When she discovers a magical fountain in the forbidden West Woods, Ava makes a wish that changes her fate. But magic always comes at a cost... The Fountain is a charming mix of mystery, romance, and boarding school drama with a twist of magic.

4. Amanda Wright – Darkfell

Genre: YA Christian Fantasy 
Author Website: awrightauthor.ca 
Book Link: Read the book 

His is a life of books and peace… until a dying warrior’s touch ignites an ancient magic in his blood.
Thom Darkfell is a cartographer, not a hero. But when he’s conscripted into war and witnesses the impossible, a hidden power awakens within him. Visions. Prophecies. A call to find the star-born girl who can seal the barrier between realms. With only a cryptic map and a few brave companions, Thom must face the rising darkness—or see his world fall. Darkfell is a powerful Christian fantasy full of rich lore, heart, and high-stakes adventure.

5. Jae Waller – The Call of the Rift Series

Genre: YA Epic Fantasy 
Author Website: jaewaller.wordpress.com 
Book Link: Read the series 

A rebellious Indigenous heroine faces a colonial world coming unstitched in this richly imagined debut. Seventeen-year-old Kateiko has the power to shapeshift and control water—but in a world on the brink of civil war, she must choose between love, loyalty, and survival. With its layered mythology, LGBTQ+ and BIPOC representation, and dual-world narrative, Call of the Rift is a must-read for fans of immersive, character-driven YA fantasy.

6. L.R. Knight – Rise of Shadow, Reign of Light Trilogy

Genre: Clean Epic Fantasy 
Author Website: lrknight.ca 
Book Link: Read the series 

Darkness rises as ancient evil threatens the Kingdom of Light. In a war-torn world, Kaldon must confront his hidden identity and choose whether to embrace his destiny. With cinematic battles, rich lore, and clean storytelling, this Alberta author’s epic fantasy is perfect for fans of high-stakes quests and courageous heroes.

7. Douglas Smith – The Dream Rider Saga Trilogy

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy / Superhero Adventure 
Author Website: smithwriter.com 
Book Link: Read the trilogy 

Indiana Jones meets Teen Titans in this fast-paced, award-winning saga. Will Dreycott, a reclusive teen with the power to walk in dreams, teams up with two other gifted teens to hunt for his missing parents and fight evil across dreamscapes and ancient ruins. Winner of the Aurora Award and filled with action, mystery, and heart.

8. Jessica Renwick – Starfell Series

Genre: Middle Grade Second-World Fantasy 
Author Website: jessicarenwickauthor.com 
Book Link: Start the series 

Twelve-year-old Fable discovers a magical world—and her own hidden power—when her cousin disappears into a mysterious book. With talking animals, mystical creatures, and heartfelt friendships, The Book of Chaos is a charming, award-winning adventure that’s ideal for younger readers and fantasy lovers of all ages.

9. Adam Dreece – The Yellow Hoods Series

Genre: MG & Early YA Steampunk Fantasy 
Author Website: adamdreece.com 
Book Link: Start the series 

Steampunk meets fairytale in this imaginative and humorous adventure. When Tee and her friends stumble upon a secret plot involving steam tech, secret societies, and nursery rhyme legends, they must rise to become unlikely heroes. Think clever gadgets, heart, and a touch of whimsy—perfect for fans of inventive fantasy.

10. Elizabeth Whitton – Houses of the Old Blood duology

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy 
Author Website: elizabethwhitton.com 
Book Link: Read the book 

A past that haunts her. A boy who finds her. A secret hidden in her blood...
Addie Stevens just wants to fly under the radar—but when shadowy creatures attack, she discovers a hidden world of ancient dynasties, blood magic, and her own mysterious heritage. Hunted and forced to flee, Addie must embrace the truth of her lineage before it destroys her family. Winner of the 2018 Aurora Award for Best YA Novel, Houses of the Old Blood is an action-packed, emotionally rich urban fantasy perfect for fans of dark secrets and magical legacies.

11. Erin Bow – Sorrow’s Knot

Genre: YA Dark Fantasy 
Author Website: erinbow.com 
Book Link: Read the book 

In the haunting forests of the Shadowed People, Otter is destined to bind the dead—until something goes terribly wrong. Winner of the Monica Hughes Award, this lyrical and eerie fantasy explores death, friendship, and unraveling magic with unforgettable depth. A quiet masterpiece for fans of the mythic and strange.

12. Heather Fawcett – Even the Darkest Stars

Genre: YA High Fantasy / Adventure 
Author Website: heatherfawcett.com 
Book Link: Read the book 

A young explorer braves avalanches, ghosts, and deadly secrets on the Empire’s tallest peak in this atmospheric fantasy inspired by Everest expeditions. With breathtaking worldbuilding and a twisty plot, Even the Darkest Stars is perfect for readers who love strong heroines and mountain-climbing magic.

13. Liselle Sambury – A Mastery of Monsters

Genre: YA Dark Academia Fantasy
Author Website: lisellesambury.ca 
Book Link: Read the book 

Ninth House meets Legendborn in this blood-soaked, thought-provoking fantasy. August must infiltrate a secret society of monsters to find her missing brother—but doing so means facing disturbing truths and becoming something new. With razor-sharp prose and high emotional stakes, this upcoming release promises to be a breakout hit.

14. Kenneth Oppel – Airborn Trilogy

Genre: MG Steampunk Adventure
Author Website: kennethoppel.ca 
Book Link: Read the series 

Aboard a luxury airship, cabin boy Matt Cruse rescues a balloonist and uncovers a sky full of mystery, pirates, and mythical creatures. This Governor General’s Award–winning trilogy is full of sky-high thrills, steampunk innovation, and unforgettable heart—perfect for readers who love action-packed MG fantasy.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a fan of clean YA fantasy books with strong female leads, magical worlds, or high-stakes adventures written by talented Canadian authors, this list should keep your TBR pile full all summer long.

Happy Canada Day—and happy reading! 🍁

Sometimes you write a book, and you get the cover right the first time.

Sometimes you write a book, and it takes you… seven tries.
(Yes. Seven. We’re at seven now.)

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember that I shared a whole post last year about the evolving face of Finding Heaven—from its very first cover to several I designed but never used and the one it’s been wearing since 2020. (If you missed that post, you can find the full cover history on the Books and Tea League community blog right here—you’ll need a free membership to read it.)

Well, friend, here we are again. This story has grown, and it’s time for the cover to grow with it.

Why Change the Cover? (Again?)

When I first released Finding Heaven eight years ago, I chose a cover that felt right at the time. But as I’ve continued learning, growing, and testing new designs, I realized that while the story inside was connecting deeply with the people who read it, the invitation—the cover—wasn’t always reaching the readers who would love it most.

It turns out, sometimes a story needs a new package. A new way to say, “Hey, this might be for you.”

So after a lot of thought, research, (and yes, a few click tests), I’ve found a new look for Finding Heaven that feels like home—a cover that better fits the emotional journey inside and speaks more clearly to fans of authors like Kristin Hannah, Nicholas Sparks, and Charles Martin.

Here’s the New Cover!

Drumroll, please…

The new eBook cover for Finding Heaven.

This is the new face of Finding Heaven—at least for now.

It will be the cover for the eBook edition currently available in my store and on all major retailers. And based on the early response, it seems to be connecting beautifully with the right readers. (I’ve already seen a bump in interest, which tells me the story is finding new hearts.)

But Wait—There’s More!

What you see here isn’t the only new cover this story is getting.

I’ve also been working on a special edition hardcover for a Kickstarter I’m planning to launch later this year, and that version will have its own unique cover—one that’s deeply tied to the story’s heart.

The design is inspired by the Japanese art of kintsugi—the practice of mending broken pottery with gold, creating something more beautiful for having been broken. This concept is woven into the story in a powerful way and holds personal meaning for me as well. (I shared more about that in a special post just for my Books and Tea League members.)

If you’re curious to see that cover now (and get the story behind it), you can unlock the exclusive reveal here. (Joining the Books and Tea League is free—it just takes a moment to sign up, and you’ll get access to other members-only goodies too!)

Click the image to be taken directly to the cover reveal post for the special edition.

What Happens Next?

Right now, I’m still in the planning phase for the Kickstarter. I don’t have a pre-launch page to share with you yet, but I’ll be sure to keep you updated when it’s time.

In the meantime, if you’ve ever thought about picking up a paperback or hardcover copy with the current cover, now’s your chance. I’ll be retiring that version soon to make room for this new chapter in Finding Heaven’s life.

Thank you, friend, for walking this road with me—for being part of this book’s journey, whether you’ve read it already or it’s just now catching your eye. Stories evolve. Sometimes their covers do, too.

And sometimes, it takes seven of them to get it just right.

Big (Sneaky) Little Lies that Sabotage Us, and What We Can Do About Them.

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe.”

— David James Lees

This post contains affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a qualifying purchase, I’ll get a few cents at no extra cost to you.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the lies we tell ourselves.

Normally, I tie in to a fiction book or three in these posts, but this time I’m going to talk about an idea that’s been in two non-fiction books I read a few years ago… and which is used in every fiction book, ever. I’m going to call this topic The Lie We Believe.

When I teach story structure, I explain that you must know the Lie your character believes before you begin writing, or you don’t know what your story is about. The Lie is what represents your character’s inner conflict. It’s what they must overcome before they achieve their goal. The Lie makes your character relatable.

Jamie (A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks) believes her illness means she can’t have a future with love. Katniss (The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins) believes she must always protect everyone else and can never let anyone protect her. In It’s A Wonderful Life, George Bailey believes that because he didn’t get to pursue his original dream, his life has no value. And Margaret (The Proposal) believes she must control everything and keep people at arm’s length to survive.

In my own stories, Sarah (Finding Heaven) believes she’s too damaged to be worth saving or to be worthy of happiness. Zale (Rise of the Grigori) believes he’s a monster who’s a danger to everyone he cares about. And Stephanie (Every Bell that Rings) believes Christmas can never be happy for her, since all her most terrible and traumatic moments are associated with the holiday.

There’s a reason writers must find the Lie our character believes that holds them back from becoming better. It’s because everyone does that.

Even you. And me.

Unfortunately, the Lie we believe can be hard to detect. It is usually impossible to uncover until life circumstances or another person makes it obvious to us.

Here are a few lies I’ve told myself:

I’ll only ever be mediocre at best. I can be good at something, but not truly great.

I’m a bad mom.

I’m a bad wife.

I’m damaged and no one will want to be with me.

I’m bad at public speaking.

People don’t really like me, they’re just being polite.

I’m not enough.

Sometimes I can recognize these as lies when they come up and am able to overcome them on my own, especially if it’s as simple as a mental self-chastening like “you know that’s not true, you’re hormonal, you’ll feel better in about three days.”

But some of those lies have been so ground in that it took years to recognize them as lies, let alone overcome. And sometimes the overcoming came with the help of people who loved me, therapy, and a healthy portion of divine grace.

And for some of them, I still have to make a conscious decision on a daily basis to counteract that lie with a different story—a story that is more true, or that I am choosing to make true.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Here’s the thing about the stories we tell ourselves—the more we repeat them, the more true they appear to be.

Someone who tells herself that no one likes her will behave in a way that no one likes and push people away to protect herself from the so-called inevitable hurt before it can happen.

Someone who believes that he will never achieve true greatness might be extremely driven and hard-working, but when it looks likely that he might achieve his goal, unconsciously sabotage his own success. (That was me.)

Someone who tells herself that it is scary to talk to people will have a fight-or-flight response whenever she is forced into a situation where she must be social.

That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news:

You can decide what story you tell yourself.

In 2019, I read two books that really opened my eyes to the ways we can be intentional with our own stories.

The first was 5 Critical Things for Successful Book Signings by Adam Dreece, in which he shares how he did exactly this when he decided to stop believing the lie that he couldn’t be an author because he has dyslexia and everyone always told him he couldn’t. (He’s done very well as an author, by the way.)

The second has a more general audience: The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman, who coaches stars, elite-level athletes, and high-powered executives to help them break through mental blocks that are preventing them from progressing in their careers.

Herman uses a technique in which he identifies the qualities within a client that are preventing them from achieving their goal, and helps them develop an “alter ego” that draws on qualities that are more suited to that particular task, or Field of Play—whether it’s on the court, in their role as a parent or friend, in their job, whatever.

This is not “fake it ’til you make it.” It is deliberately choosing to use aspects of yourself in the appropriate setting to achieve success in that area—something humans have been doing since the dawn of time. In fact, you probably already do this. You behave differently online than you do in person, right?

(An online friend I’d known for years expressed surprise when I mentioned how sarcastic I am in real life. I don’t put that online much, because the humour of sarcasm is usually lost in text, and I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was being in any way serious and be offended or hurt.)

You also behave differently with someone you just met than with someone you’ve known your whole life, right?

These are both “you”—they are just using the aspects of you that are most appropriate in that situation. (Or not. Maybe one of these areas is something you’d like to change about yourself. And you can!)

A few years ago, put this to the test when I presented at a writers conference. It was my second year presenting, and the previous year I had been shocked when the large rooms I’d been put in ended up being standing-room-only for my classes. I’m quite comfortable in front of rooms of, say, twelve people or less. But with over fifty (or maybe a hundred? It felt like a thousand) pairs of eyes staring at me, I completely lost my nerve—and it showed.

It occurred to me while reading Herman’s book that “I’m nervous speaking in front of large crowds” was only a story I had been telling myself, and I decided to test his technique by telling myself a different one. For the several weeks before the conference, whenever I would think about those crowded rooms and my palms would start to sweat, I’d take a deep breath and tell myself, “No, you’re not nervous speaking in front of large crowds, remember? You’ll be comfortable and at ease up there, just like you are when you speak to smaller groups. It will be fine.”

And you know what? It totally was.

The Power of Choosing Our Story

We all have lies we tell ourselves. Usually, these can be sussed out by looking at areas in our lives where we seem to continually hit a wall or run into trouble or even disaster. “I’m no good at relationships.” “I can’t be a writer because…” “I could achieve this goal if only…”

First of all, you need to take responsibility for your own story and recognize the Lie. Stop making excuses. You will never overcome your Lie and change your story as long as you are letting it tell you who you are.

Then, you need to change your self-talk. Instead of “I can’t…” say “I’m still figuring out how…” Instead of “I don’t have time to…” say “I haven’t made this a priority yet.” Instead of “I’m no good at this,” say “I haven’t acquired that skill yet.”

Take those negative words and own your responsibility in them, then turn it around so you can’t tell yourself a lie with your self-talk every time it comes up.

Second, tell yourself a new story that counteracts the lie. Decide what qualities you need to use in a certain situation, and then imagine yourself using them. You will draw on those qualities when the time comes and probably surprise yourself with the person you never knew you could be.

If this is something you want to learn more about, I recommend picking up Todd Herman’s book. Obviously, he goes into this in much more detail and applies it to a wide range of situations that may help you.

Bottom line: Since the story you tell yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, be intentional with what that story is.

You just might find that the true hero of your story really is you.

(By the way, the Enneagram is the most useful tool I’ve found for revealing our Lies to ourselves so we can stop being controlled by them. If you’re new to the Enneagram concepts, I recommend either The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron or The Honest Enneagram by Sarahjane Case as primers, and The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face Your Shadow, Discover Your True Self by Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes as a deeper dive. But you can get started with an overview on this Enneagram Institute site page, which explains the basics. And the CP Enneagram website will help you find your type and subtype.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go...”

— Dr. Seuss

This post was originally published in the Books & Inspiration Newsletter on 2019-08-19. If you enjoyed it, please consider signing up. You’ll get Zale’s origin story (who I mentioned in the post) as a free gift when you do, plus a romantic women’s fiction novella.

Image courtesy of Dino Reichmuth via Unsplash.