Addison Russell's Blog

What happens when there are so many balls in the air and you feel as though the occupation listed on your passport is: professional juggler?

Do you juggle faster, do you miss a ball on the way down or do you stop and drop all your balls?

While there are times in life when this happens, what if your day to day existence becomes this never ending prioritising, hyperventilating and drinking cold coffee? Some people enjoy the adrenaline, feeling needed and are happy to surface skip on the landscape of life. If you are like me, I need balance. When the demand side of the equation outstrips the payoff, I become a difficult person to be around.

Need I say the obvious, everyone is different but when my day peaks and my reserves are running low I remind myself that coffee isn’t always the answer.

My answer is apples.

Apples you ask? Yes, apples. Not the crunchy, tangy or sweet variety but a basket of metaphorical ones. A basket of Red Delicious, Jazz, Royal Gala, Granny Smith, Jonathan, Pink Lady, Golden Delicious, Fuji, Sundowner or Eve. A collection of Aussie apples that I get to choose and lay nestled in my imaginary fruit basket Apples are well regarded as an important part of a healthy, balanced diet. My perceived apples will not power my body with antioxidants but will provide immense nutritional value by improving my wellbeing.

Apples are my symbol (borrowed from Lee Schnebly, Out of Apples. 1988. Fisher Books.) to enable me to keep my emotional equilibrium in check. To manage the demands of the day, I must take responsibility for keeping my apple basket full. Once the apple level falls below the half-way mark, I become tired, grumpy, short-tempered and blue. I find it harder to manage my day, be positive and respond to others with empathy, respect and sensitivity.

So to recharge your battery, fill your apple basket.

Follow the six steps to ensure your self-esteem remains positively fueled.

1. Identify your apples

After a Skype session with a girlfriend who lives in Sydney, a bundle of Pink Lady apples arrive in my basket.

A soak in a bubble bath reading a book cause Red Delicious apples to land in my basket.

After a romantic dinner with my partner, my basket overflows with Royal Gala apples.

An uninitiated hug from my son causes Golden delicious to tumble in.

 Everybody’s apples will be different. Go find yours and make a list.

2. Recognise when your apple basket is low.

What are the symptoms that tell you, you are out-of-balance? Is it when you snap at the kids? Is it when you get that squeezy headache on your right temple? Is it when you can’t be bothered to put make-up on or is it when you devour a whole tub of peanut butter ice-cream in one sitting?

Each of us will have different triggers that will clue us into the level of our apple basket. Listen to your body; physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and socially. Don’t ignore the symptoms.

3. Teach others how to give apples

Explain to the important people in your life what apples are, what apples can do for you and which type you like. Describe your triggers so the people around you can pro-actively provide you with the type of apples you need at the time you need them.

I have a life-long girlfriend who continually surprises me with symbols of apples. Sometimes to top up my depleted basket, sometimes to thank me and sometimes for no reason at all except to acknowledge our friendship. It is a ritual that simultaneously nurtures us both. Talk about your apples.

4. Shop for apples

Take responsibility for your apples. You need some, go get some. Just like the doctor ordered. It will probably require some effort but self-nurturing is an important skill to develop. Making that free fifteen-minute block of time first thing in the morning will allow you to complete your wake-up yoga session that will fill your apple basket and enable you to face the day. It can mean as much or as little an investment you wish to make. It can be one apple or ten apples, the choice is yours. Organise yourself and your life. Make your apples meaningful to you and make room for at least one a day.

5. Don’t let people steal your apples

Children and partners are the worst offenders. Intentionally or not, other people will sneak them from you when you least expect it. Dealing with a toddler tantrum can be the quickest way to empty an apple basket. A micro-managing boss will take them without permission on a regular basis. A difficult phone call with your mother-in-law may empty the whole basket in one fell swoop. Boundary setting and saying “no” are essential communication skills to employ. Protect your apples and refill your basket regularly.

6. Give apples to others

Share apples. Apples come from a magical tree that is only bound by one’s imagination. Demonstrating your care, regard or empathy for another is soul boosting. The more apples you give to other people; the more apples will multiply in your own basket. Kindness begets kindness. Remember apples can be free. Pay it forward.

Certainly not the income generated. Writing completed and dollars earned have no correlation whatsoever. A large input of one, does not mean a large output of the other. To survive, a writer must be intrinsically motivated by the act itself.

Writing means I can:

Fall down the rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland

Letting my imagination run wild is a deliriously fun thing to do. Permission to be like a child; open and questioning with no boundaries, allowing your brain cells to fire and charge like an electrical current.

“What if….” is such a magical question. It allows a writer to weave, change direction, face obstacles and problem solve with freedom. There is never a wrong answer, just a story to tell.


Develop characters that readers can relate to and with

Creating a story that elicits care and concern about outcomes of fictional people is incredibly rewarding. There is nothing more encouraging for a writer, than a reader that knows more about your characters than you do.


Entertain

Bringing pleasure to others is life affirming and addictive. Imagining that I have played a small part in providing a space and a place for a reader to forget the ‘real’ world for a while and indulge themselves in story land, makes my heart sing.



The real question is: Why wouldn’t I write?

Like many of us, sometimes we don’t know when a journey begins or ends but we recognise that change is occurring. The path may be rocky, mountainous or slippery. It may be smooth, level or cluttered. One thing we do know, no matter the route chosen, it will never follow one straight line forever. Bumps, curves, and sometimes abrupt endings are inevitable. Erin travels a physical, emotional and spiritual voyage with all her decisions having consequences on those she loves.

If Erin was “real” what advice would she provide?

To be curious

Learning something new about yourself (can become scarier the older you get but you can teach an old dog new tricks). Especially for a personality like Erin. Brought up by conservative parents, framed in the Catholic religion and under an umbrella of societal expectations that seems at the time; non-negotiable, she travels a path well-worn. While not taking a traditional route to learn about herself, the relationship with David allows her to explore a landscape not previously available. This opens doors, internally and externally to silently discover and test boundaries. She inherently knows that to want something “different” you have to do something “different”.

Taking calculated risks, opening yourself to possibility, and having an enquiring mind, are all elements in developing confidence in oneself, to navigate the curve-balls of life.

2. To prioritise relationships

Connection with others is key for Erin. Not only because she is a single child but because she inherently understands the invisible threads that tie people together are also what brings meaning into one’s life. Family and/or friends are integral to her well-being.

The demands of every day life can make it difficult to find the energy, space and time to nurture our significant relationships. Hectic schedules make it challenging to consistently consider other’s emotional wellbeing. Regular investment by both parties is required to remember the importance of the bonds that connect us. Intentional expression of our interest, love and concern, on a regular basis, will remind others of their significance in our lives.

3. To be authentic

Staying true to her heart is important for Erin. She faces this major conflict when she engages in an illicit relationship outside of her marriage. Her head and heart are often in conflict, which influences many of her decisions. She wrestles with her morals and the expectations of those surrounding her. The “pull” and “push” of this battle contributes to her depression.

Staying “twenty-four carat” at all times, in all situations can be tricky for most. Being the “best one can be” at any given point is a more pragmatic option. Understanding the grey parts of life, sitting with the uncomfortableness and checking in with your values are useful strategies to assist.

While Erin’s journey is unique to her and her alone, she struggles and triumphs with universal issues. Instigating opportunities to develop deeper internal meaning, facing change with courage and living with the consequences, are lessons relatable to most.

The Invisible Journey Book Launch